In-laws Question, Am I Being to over the Top About This

You are most definitely over-reacting. I have 2 boys and let me say that YOU are the type of DIL that keeps me up at night nervous. Sorry-can't be any nicer here....I am on their side. And I would like to hear their side BTW.

That stuff would get under my skin too. One time my MIL gave the kids pancakes w/ chocolate chips and syrup for dinner and then some chocolate ice cream... they were only there for 2 hrs. Oddly enough she always comments that my bread should be in the pantry too (it gets squished!) Anyway, I've learned it's good for the kids to have short visits with her because they love her and she loves them. As far as the longer ones go - we find someone else... and we are all happier! You can't change her opinions or personality, so given that, if you aren't comfortable with their style you'll either have to talk w/ them about what is acceptable OR just find another situation. I wouldn't put them in that same situation again. If I did, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the time away... and that's what it's for, right? Good luck!

I don't think you're overreacting at all. It sounds like we're in the same boat and I have very similar feelings towards my in-laws as well. It's obvious they think their son "married down". I've actually called out my in-laws on several occasions and they've backtracked very quickly when realizing how disrespectful they are being. My husband and I have agreed that his parents are only allowed to visit for 4 days when they drive up (they live over 500 miles away) because that's all we can take. They make a mess of the house, don't offer to clean up, and like to debate EVERYTHING in a very combative manner and condescending manner. Hope things get better for you!

Sorry but to be honest I do think you are over reacting. Not to say that it wouldn't make me crazy also. I would be especially ticked about the gifts being played with. The food is just part of the grandparents spoiling the kids and I think that is ok every blue moon. I would let it go and appreciate that they came 900 miles to be with their grandchildren. Also, be happy they don't live close by and are not at your door all the time.

It's a grandparents job to spoil their grandchildren.

It doesn't sound like you much like or give his parents any respect - I could be wrong here..but it doesn't sound like you like them at all. You complain that she keeps a score card - sounds like you too are keeping one. You complain that they don't visit - yet.....they drove 900 miles to come stay at your place to take care of your childen and the house isn't burnt down - you ARE over reacting. ESPECIALLY if you didn't give them rules, guidelines, etc. NO ONE can read your mind.

What does your husband think of all of this?
Why won't HE talk to HIS parents about this?
If you are that upset over it....why does he need to talk to YOUR parents for a hypothetical WHAT IF? This is just stirring up family trouble....

You are VERY critical of them, in my opinion. Do they deserve this? I don't know. You say you are a red-head - the two red heads I know are as stubborn as mules and have nasty tempers!! (smile).

So what if she says your daughter is the spitting image of her - so fricking what?! She's got her DNA running through her as well..what's the big deal here?

You don't know for sure what your parents would do if left with the kids for several days - you are ASSUMING this would not happen. I know I left my kids with my parents for two days - they were SPOILED ROTTEN - donuts, home made cookies, helping Granddad with his wood working tools and sooo much more. So even though like YOU, I would've guessed my parents would've been as strict with mine as they were with me. NOPE!!!

As to your kitchen being turned around - stop for a second - my sister rearranged my kitchen a tad when she was here taking care of me after my hysterectomy - at first, like you - I was a tad upset - couldn't find anything - then I took a step back and realized the changes she made were actually pretty reasonable changes. So I left them be.

The storage bags? THAT IS HUGE over reacting. So what?! Rinse them out and use them again!! NO BIGGIE!!

The gifts? Okay - I'm with you on that one - I'd be a tad bit miffed if I came home and the gifts that I had purchased for future use were out for play - oooh that would chap my hide.

My bottom line? You are TOTALLY over reacting. Your kids are safe and the house isn't burned down.
You CANNOT expect people to read your mind.

I would MUCH rather have my kids have HAPPY memories of their grandparents "sneaking" them donuts while I'm away....than "Oh God - Grammy and Granddad are coming again? Can I go over to John's house?"

Take a deep breath. Stop acting like you hate them. They may just surprise you!!! Stop keep your own score card. it might be interesting to hear how a conversation between you guys goes - I'd LOVE to see your body language!!! Man! I bet that's a show!!

They did, after all, give you the man you love and who gave you the kids you treasure now.

Hi J., a similar thing happened everytime I asked my mom to come over to sit with the kids while I was gone, even just for an hour or so. The house was trashed, opened food left out everywhere (OMG she had to FEED them EVERYTHING), things in disarray, pulled out of drawers, off of shelves. Kids were always sticky dirty and in need of a diaper change. One time she tried to give a 2 year old a bath cause she had 'gotten herself all covered with flour', and the bathroom was never the same after that!

On the other hand, she's a beautiful, patient, loving Grandma who let's the kids just be kids, she enjoyed their company and they LOOOOVED her so much, like a BIG PARTY when I said Grandma's coming over.

So I just let it go. Always took days to repair the damage, but the bond she made with my kids while sugarin' them up and wreckin' my house was WELL worth it!

:)

Wow, I could never babysit taking care of your children for a few days. No telling what you would think of me.

Out of everything you are not pleased about I would be upset about the dog not being walked. They obviously are not good pet sitters, next time send puppy to a good kennel. The hidden toys? That is irritating but not enough to ban them from babysitting their grandchildren.

I am short so I do move things around in peoples homes, when I am there for a few days babysitting. I also am not always used to the children I care for so with the schedule I may let a few things go, but do my best to keep the schedule and all of the requests. Sometimes,

I may let the kids have an extra sweet or do a little fudging with the menu I judge what is need at that moment.A loaf of bread and crater butter? Your children are 7 and 5 should be allowed to spread their own butter, peanut butter, mustard, mayo, even if it is not perfect. Again, this actually upset you?

They ate a lot of food.
That is a big deal to you?

Ziploc bags are cheap. I know my mom was not used to them when she came over and could not believe they come in so many sizes. She still uses cottage cheese and yogurt containers to store her leftovers.

My mom tries to keep the house tidy, but watching young kids can wear her down. She also likes to spend a lot of time, just playing with them. Some house keeping is not exactly the way I keep it.

So what she says your daughter looks and will look like her? Does it REALLY matter? Much ado about nothing on that. Just smile..

You also seem to project a lot of assumptions ( "so I can only assume") about your husbands beloved parents. It hurts his feeling when you do this. He will always love his parents with all of his heart AND he will always love you with all of his help. TRY really hard to keep it to yourself. I suggest you apologize to him for over reacting.

They will always be your children's grandparents. Do not diminish that attachment.

I hope you can take a step back and reread what you wrote. Your children were safe, they were loved and your inlaws did you a HUGE favor. Honor them and your husband with some appreciation.
I am sending you clarity.

We are glad you are still alive, after losing so much blood after child birth, but clearly, even after all these responses, you are on a big time pity party! If you wonder why your husband's parents have little or no respect for you, if that is truly the case, you have answered your own questions.

How often have you drive 1800 miles to care for either of your husband's parents?

Cheryl O or any of us who have some sort or love or respect for our husband's folks, who we may not get along with as well as we ALL might prefer, have not begun to bust your chops.

I sincerely hope things improve with you and your husband's parents, for his sake and the sake of your children.

Blessings...

I think If your husband's parents drove 900 miles to babysit their grandchildren for FREE and will drive 900 miles back, unless you had written specific instructions, I would say you are overreacting. Most grandparents DO spoil there grandchildren because they don't get to spend a lot of time with them.

About your dog, if you don't have a fenced back yard, next time you go out of town, unless you have hired a pet sitter, the dog should go to a kennel.

As for your folks, they don't sound like a bowl of cherries either, and they either can't or don't want to take care of, in your own words, "LOUD, CRAZY KIDS.

So as you get your house in order, I suggest that you get your priorities in order and accept your husband's parents for who they are and what they mean to him, even if you can't stand them. Perhaps they aren't perfect, but its clear they love their family enough to come a long distance to take care of your children.

If you can't find it within your heart to write them a thank you note, perhaps your husband can.

Blessings.....

I think you're venting. Sometimes it's good to have a safe place to vent!

But venting isn't the same as thinking. Now it's time for you to think about it all. It's important for grandparents and grandchildren to love each other. Figure out how to make that possible and still live to tell about it! I've been in your position and, believe me, it's a worthwhile goal!

Except for taking out the gifts for other you really are overreacting big
time. A loaf of bred in three days for three people. The problem would be?
The kids buttered things themselves, the problem would be? Donuts with
grandma, the problem would be? So you have a few things rearranged,
what is the big deal. My mother and MIL used to do this, but in the scheme
of life it is nothing. So they ate food. Isn't that what it is there for. I think
you need to veg a bit and catch your breath. Just don't ask them to babysit
again. How sad for the kids. You will miss her when she is gone.

Here's what you sound like to me... you sound like my father-in-law.

I haven't spent time with them for years because he is always upset over crazy things. One day they had made this huge plate of grilled cheese sandwhiches and they were on a plate. I ate 1/2 of one leaving at least 8 or 9 more. I didn't know they was about to take that plate of sandwhiches to one of the kids working nearbye. I also didn't know people could be so selfish over food.

In a future visit I decided to bring my own snacks and drinks so that I didn't offend anyone. I went and bought cottage cheese and juice and put it in their fridge. I find out later that he was again talking behind my back for getting into his fridge and eating his food. I didn't eat one bite I didn't buy!

I could give you example after example of other people in my family that acts all strange about food. And the whole helping arrange...whatever. I wish someone would help me. I guarantee I would be saying thank you even if I did eventually move it back. I don't consider myself organized though. I am a neat freak. But I am not organized and there is a difference.

This is yet again another example of someone complaining about the lack of "help" they get from their parents and then complaining about them when they do help! So yes, you owe your husband an apology.

I don't see this as much as a big deal. I'm sorry, I know us moms go through a lot and sometimes all we need is support, but I'm gonna have to say that I read this and kept thinking: "when is she going to say that one big thing that happened?" But you didn't. It was a bunch of little things that are not uncommon for grandparents to do. That's just the way things are. Sure, there are grandparents out there that AREN'T like that, but there are so many that are, that it makes it almost a non-issue.

Try your best not to harbor all these not so nice feelings towards them. I think that if you do continue to despise them, it will just continue to make things even worse in the future. Tolerate them, they are normal-range grandparents- and you are seeming to turn into that stereotype of impossible DIL. Don't turn yourself into that. Lighten up- besides, you live in Williamsburg. I love it there. Its beautiful, historical, and not too far from the beach. What a fantastic place to raise your kids:) Count your blessings (one of them being that you don't live RIGHT NEXT to your inlaws.

Ummmm....you got a vacation?

Eww, your MIL sounds pretty lame, lol. I have no advice, you probably cant change her. Next time take your kids to her house. I dont really like anyone to stay at my home no matter who it is, even my husband puts things in the wrong place all the time in the kitchen. Her taking down hidden toys from high up is just so wrong, wth?
Indulging the kids with not so healthy foods is forgivable in my book since they see each other rarely, but her going through your stuff and changing things around is just too eerie to me and I wouldnt let them stay alone at my house ever again.

Okay, I'm going to say yes and no to overracting...if I were in your shoes I would absoultely be as disgruntled as you are in this moment. However, I too have major issues with my MIL and she sounds a lot like yours. This being said, I have the shortest level of patience (some might even say non-existent ;) with my MIL. Things that are inappropriate, like donuts every day for breakfast, would get to me more b/c they come from her. My mom also is very level headed and although likes to get treats for my kids does so in moderation and more like I would do, unlike my MIL who goes crazy and acts like she never had children of her own and thinks it's okay to feed them sugar, sugar and more sugar. I guess my point here is this...I get it and I would feel the same but the problem is anything and everything they do, no matter the level of "insanity" is going to irk you.

You sort of have to decide what's worth more...your kids knowing their grandparents or not. It sounds like you and your husband are mostly on the same page and that is the important part. Maybe he can talk to his parents to try and starighten some things out. But, if you never let them come or babysit or you never visit then what kind of a message is that sending to your kids. It is super, super hard, I know, trust me, but in the end, you have to try and grin and bear it...or at the very least fake it until you make it!! ;) Sadly, yes, I do think you need to expect these things and prepare yourself mentally for it. Just don't think about it and deal with the aftermath upon your return. Your kids will love your in laws, you'll be a great mom cuz you let them babysit and in the long run, this will not permately damage your household or you children, so hang in there! And trust me...if I was better at taking my own advice I'd be a lot less stressed when my MIL comes over too! Haha!

I can hear how irritated you are, and some of what you write would be a big deal to me, too. Having the dog pee in the house from neglect, especially (but they might have been distracted by children and not attuned to the dog's signals). And opening hidden gifts (though I can see that they might have misunderstood).

I do know a number of grandparents who consider it their "privilege" to spoil their grandkids, and probably having so much time to do so felt like a treat to both the grands and the children. It's simply the nature of the beast, and when we try to argue with reality, we are gonna lose.

It sounds like you've got plenty of deeper issues going on here that this three-day period, and those are amping up your reactions. Could you be just a touch mad at yourself for asking these people for whom you don't have much regard to care for your kids? Especially since they lived 'down' to your expectations so gloriously?

If I had dietary expectations in mind, I think I would have spelled those out at the beginning, not like a scolding parent or a drill sergeant, but like a respectful and grateful DIL. Spoiling kids on sugar is not okay with me, but it does sound like the kids probably helped eat the amazing amount of food that your in-laws went through. And the kids have survived. They probably wheedled and begged for every possible treat while you were gone.

I'd just laugh at how different their kitchen and storage habits are. They let your kids do their own buttering – good for your kids! And my own adorable husband can NOT figure out where things go in our tiny kitchen. We've lived in this house for more than a quarter-century. He has very different techniques for storing leftovers than I do, for washing dishes, stacking them in cupboards, even for cleaning the floor. But he does those things voluntarily, and I am grateful for his participation in our mutual life. At least you didn't have to go searching for the things that were still in the dishwasher!

You did get free child care for three days while you got a vacation. Perhaps if you take a few deep breaths and focus on that fact, you can better appreciate the comedy in this situation.

Dear Mama-

This post hit a cord for me, but things do not seem so extreme in my house and the characters are reversed a bit - I love my MIL and feel that she is the more practical one whereas my folks (Pop-Pop and Grandma) are the spoilers and more likely to do the things you mentioned like putting things back in the spots they "think" they should be in but are not actually correct. In fact, after my Mother leaves, we have one drawer my Hubby and I have affectionately knicknamed "Her Favorite Drawer". Whenever we can not find something after one of Mom's visits, we look there! LOL.

You really have two choices - deal with the changes that were made/occurred or get frustrated by them. Some of what you posted is probably not worth getting angry over. I understand how frustrating it is to have so much food "disappear" but it could be worse - the kiddies could have been starved all week. I even had my Dad show up with an "emergency" kit consisting of poptarts, salty chips, processed white bread, etc. which is basically everything we limit or keep out of our house. It made me so mad, but ultimately for a few days, it was okay. I would be a bit stressed about the "hidden" gifts issue though... I think for that you just need to be clear about what the house rules are and that certain things are off limit. Maybe they really did not know?

Also, in the future, you have another choice - get help from your parents or the in-laws or hire someone to do things the way you want them done. This is what you'd be paying for.

Sometimes change is good for kiddies (and us!) as nothing is the same way all the time. You are not crazy but these events will make you crazy... if you let them. You just need to decide what is most important to you - the rules or the free help.

Good luck.
~C.

Yes, I think you are over-reacting. It was nice that your in laws came so far to take care of your kids so you could get away for a few days. The kids will not be permanently damaged from eating donuts for 3 days. For them, it was just a nice time with Grandma and Grandpa. Whenever someone has stayed at my house, I have those moments of annoyance about what they used or where they put stuff but in the overall perspective of having people in your live who are willing to set aside their own lives and stay at your house, you got to just let it go and be thankful. If you've complained enough that your husband made the comment he did, I'd square things with him, too. Tell him it was just that initial irritation that comes from re-entry and you're glad that they came so you and he could get away for a few days. Seriously, life's too short.

I think the question you need to ask youself, is if your children had a great time? If they did, then all should be good with the world. I didn't get to have a relationship with my grand parents when I was little, because we lived so far from both sets. I have cousins, and friends that got to have amazing relationships with their grand parents, and I am always so envious. Think about your children as adults, and they talk about the time that their grandparents came to stay with them...."We got to eat dougnuts, EVERYDAY". Thats the point with Grandparents....they get to spoil the grandkids! I think dougnuts everyday is the pure definition of spoiling.

The relatively little time that our children get to spend with our parents should be cherished. I think it's best just to let go of the small stuff. Misplaced bread and used storage bags are so little in the scheme of things. Now, if your MIL and FIL were speaking badly about you to your children, then that would be a different story and something that would not only make me very angry, but hurt my feelings.

Also, I think that it is so exciting for Grandparents to see the next generation of children grow up. My mom says that she can see my father in our son all of the time. Yet, when we get around my husbands family, our son looks just like my husbands father. I think it's kind of cute, and it makes me especially happy when someone tells me that my son looks like ME!! I think it's exciting to your MIL that one of her grand children may look a little like her, and nothing to get fired up about (you will here from a hundre different people that your daughter looks just like you).

I don't blame you, it's hard to see past our own frustrations. I would however, urge you to consider what these three days meant to your kids. Also, I totally think that my parents are cooler grandparents...sadly, my husband disagrees ;).

I have to say I would be very annoyed too. Having said that you get what you paid for...free childcare. Before I had kids it was always my philosophy that if you want me to keep your kids (and as long as I keep them safe) I will do what I want when they are in my care.

Yeah, I have to say you are overreacting. It's easy when you are annoyed with people to go and nit-pik every single thing they do. I used to be guilty of that myself. It actually made my relationship with my in-laws awful. Then one day, I decided I had to let go of my anger and realize that we simply do things differently. Now, my relationship with them is absolutely wonderful and it makes me sad that I missed out on that those first few years.

Remember, they do things differently. So maybe you keep your toaster in the pantry and they had it on the counter, or whatever, they were living there for 3 days tending to your kids. I'm sure they don't rememebr exactly where you had everything organized to put it back perfectly every time. A loaf of bread is gone in 3 days at my house, and I only have 2 young children, and sometimes, they like to butter their own bread... it's how the kids learn.
My inlaws use those gallon ziplock bags for everything too, and they also like to spoil my kids with donuts and such. Really you have to learn to let them show their love for your kids. They live a long ways away and don't get to see them much, so be okay with it.

As for your dog peeing on the wall, I'm sure they still let the dog out in the 3 days, but perhaps are not as attune to when he/she needs to go out and how often... also dogs tend to act differently for non-owners.

For things like the dishwasher, geeze, let it rest. Who knows she could have unloaded the dishwasher before and had another load in there. In fact, I still have clean dishes in my washer from like 2 days ago I haven't unloaded yet. Does that make me a nasty person? No.

People can't anticipate what are off-limits in another person's home, like the toys on the shelf and such. Some people are really that clueless. I learned I had to bite my tongue about certain things my kids' grandparents do.

As long as they kids are happy and safe, it's okay. As for her comment about how the granddaughter looks like her.. .let it go! She probably does see some familial similarities of when she was a girl. Time will only tell, and even then it's a matter of opinion.

Really, breathe and try to forget the negative past and annoyances. Also, how are they able to keep time of how long you spend with your parents? Obviously, someone is telling them. Keep that part private. My inlaws dont know when I visit my mom and for how long and vice versa.

I do not think you are overreacting at all! I would be more than annoyed if I came home to find that ANYONE had rearranged my kitchen-or anything else in my home! There's a little thing called respect for others, their space and belongings that your in-laws seem to have never learned!
The food thing, I would probably let go, I figure if they eat healthy 99% of the time, a few days of junk won't hurt them much :)

My father is currently convalescing at my home (eye surgery that needs follow up care, he lives in Afghanistan where the follow up care is not available) and helping me out with childcare-great timing, the sitter quit days before his surgery was scheduled. Anyway, I am a bit OCD, and with my dad helping out putting the dishes away, he put the pots/pans on the rack in the 'wrong' order...I couldn't even deal with THAT, lol! I really DID try, I let it go for three days, and then just went to rearrange them, but he walked in and caught me ;) he knows I'm OCD and we both had a good laugh, but now he knows skillets go on the sides and pots go in order of size from largest to smallest, and he RESPECTS my home enough to try to do it my way or not at all.

I just could never have people stay in my house while I'm gone (and I could never leave my kid for a few days at that age).
I'd feel like my territory was violated having things rearranged while I was gone (and I know a few relatives who'd literally poke though my underwear drawer if they got a chance)..
If there's a next time - how about take the kids to stay at your in-laws?

Well, from my perspective---

It sounds like you've known your in-laws were a little off for a while, but you did choose for them to travel 900 miles each way to watch your children so you and your husband could have some time together. They obviously didn't do things the way you do, and while yep, I'd be appalled that some of these things happened, it sounds like the KIDS had a good time.

Sometimes, grandparents have lost all common sense about parenting our kids simply because they *aren't* their kids. I don't know what else to tell you. The only other thing that pops into my head is that this could be a big "eff-you" directed at you and your husband, passive-aggressive resentment for being asked. (Is this likely? I don't know them...) And then, if this is the case, would you really want to leave your kids alone with people who were behaving this way?

I do think you came up with your own best conclusion:

"Never again will they babysit for me. I left them in charge of the well being and care of my kids and I can only find results of bad judgments".

Maybe it will be better judgment in the future to either find a family to trade this sort of time with (spell each other for weekends away) or hire a nanny who may be more conscientious about keeping things organized. Good luck-- this is one reason that some of my family members do not sit for me, no matter if I was desperate.

Next time ask them to keep the kids at their house so they don't mess up yours and get someone else to watch the dog. Problem solved. Yes they did some annoying things. BUT People who love your kids SO much they are looking for resemblences and spoiling them are willing to keep them for three days! most people would count their blessings.

You're not reacting at all-which is good. If they ever babysit again-hand them the menu-show them which items are off limits. As far as the kitchen goes-it is difficult sometimes to remember what goes where-so little by little, you have to get it back to how you like it. When my children were little-my FIL would babysit. The house would be leveled when I came home-but the children had been cared for and were happy. One time he carved a pizza on my jillion dollar cookie sheet that I had gotten at Bloomies-but, I got over it. My parents would babysit a lot-even though they lived three hours away-both sets were big on sweets-but then so was I! On the bright side-there are 900 miles between you!

The Shelf YES that is the last straw. Other things can be taken in stride and overlooked. When I am in someone elses house and go to put something back I sometimes can't remember where it goes so understand things being rearranged a bit. The donuts you can let go but in the future know that they can't watch them for more than a a few days and that you will have to get the kids back on track foood and schedule wise (who knows how sleeping went). Not letting the dog out means you'd have to get someone to specifically come take care of the dog since they won't. Id wonder if they fed hime and gave him fresh water. I'd also assume they went through every cabinet and drawer in your house because of the shelf thing. For me it wouldn't be worth the trouble having them watch the kids.

you are not ocd, if you had things on a high shelf in the back your mother should have left it alone. putting everything in plastic bags sounds like she has a germ thing going on, never let a woman watch your kids who claims that your kids are actually theirs. this is clear sign that they have a problem with boundaries, physical and mental.sounds like she needs a check up from the neck up.tell your husband, if someone came along and claimed that his children were actually his, they would be dragged off to a shrink, right? or dragged before the woodshed for a brief talking to.
K. h.

I think the part that hit for me was that she says she's your daughter's mom and that your daughter looks like her. It seems like she says it to get under your skin. I would just say something back like really everyone says she looks like a miniature me. The other stuff you mentioned would drive me nuts but the only thing I'd really seriously be mad about is all the candy and stuff like that. The food being gone after 3 days is gonna happen... Maybe they've finally decided to start eating. I'd also ask them not to reorganize my house (to me that's kind of rude and insulting unless I gave them permission to). I don't particularly think your overreacting because I got the impression that your venting a bit. I do think a lot of those would drive me crazy and I'd probably avoid her a lot. I'm not a uptight mom either but it would make me irritated if my mil didn't have the sense not to hop my kids up on a ton of sugar and reorganize my house.

With the presents, personally I could see myself having presents hidden for my daughter while I'm gone and telling her grandma so she could have a little surprise while I'm gone. Maybe she thought that... doesn't make it right since she could've called and asked, but just throwing it out there

I do agree they traveled a long way just to watch your kids for 3 days for free. The dog would've been a tad irritating because that's common sense that you have to take the dog outside to use the bathroom so I don't have any perspective on that one other than maybe you should leave the dog with a pet resort or a friend if it happens again.

Ok, here's the thing, My in-laws can't stand me! If I'm nice and treat them well, i'm still the bad guy, there's no getting around anything when it come's to some in-laws! But if you did'nt really get along or like the way they acted then why did you leave the kid's with them in the first place? Grandparent's are going to spoil their grandchildren-although I wish thet was the case with my in-laws!- But be thankful that they are even wanting to see your children. I wish my in-laws came over more often, not because of me but because of our children. So let them spoil the kid's once in a while, those are going to be memories for your children. I understand they whole "grandaughter look's like me (MIL) my MIL says the samething about our oldest daughter and I just let if fly by! Also keep in mind, one thing that I have noticed with my in laws (they are much older then my parents- 60's-70's) is that the older they are the more sensitive they become and they do things without realizing you may not like it. I say just let it go....I just recently started talking to my in laws, the last time my children seen them was 3 years ago! But I can go on and on about my in laws, believe me, you think yours are bad, come over here and i'll rent mine out to you! lol.....But just make those little sacrifices for the sake of your children, I wish my in laws were more involved with our children, we have to cordially invite them over to dinner and sometime I'll cook a big meal and they end up canceling at the last minute! Anywho....good luck!