I'm in Need of Any Helpful Suggestions/ Ideas to Ween from Breastfeeding!

This might be a controversial solution but it worked for me (unintentionally). Take a Sudafed everyday for about a week. It will dry you up in no time. It is safe for pregnant moms but not for breastfeeding moms for this reason. When my daughter was 18 months old, I caught her cold. It was so bad that I HAD to take it so I could breathe at night. Within 3 days, my supply was so bad that she would just be frustrated and give up. I wasn't mentally prepared to wean at that point but it was easy for my daughter.

My cousin and my sister-in-law had to leave!!! Separate from the child and go away for a couple of days. Grandma's are real good for this... Good luck!

I breast fed my two children until they were 2 1/2 years old. I think it is time to help your child wean from the breast since you are no longer into it and he does not need breast milk anymore physically. You need to do this gradually , but consistently. Start by letting him breastfeed only for naps and at night. Then, cut out nap time and then , a few weeks later, night time. He will not like this, but it is necessary. Also, I highly recommend putting him in a mother's day out program and starting to leave him with baby sitters a bit. He needs to learn to be away from you for short periods of time. Set up a schedule with activities that he likes- swimming, park- if it is not too hot, play groups, nap and meal times. Children often want to nurse when they are bored -especially at two years old. There are also wonderful ,free story times at the puiblic libraries. PLan to go to one near you each week and also make it a time to check out books to take home. Treasure your time with him. It goes so quickly. My children are 26 and 31 and I still treasure the time I get to spend with them( and their children) althought it is, of course, much less now. Take care. J. K.

Are you guys co-sleeping? I know, for us, that was a big cause for nighttime nursing (I was right there!).
He's old enough to understand that things are going to start being different, but I would transition from nursing to "not nursing" slowly.
If you're still nursing during the day, I would drop those one at a time (so if you nurse three times a day, drop one a week). Do other bonding activities instead. For my daughter we started doing painting every day during the usual nursing time. After a couple days of that, she did not even ask about it! By the next week she had gotten used to not nursing, so we didn't do anything different until right before her next usual nursing time.
At night, I started going in there for a few minutes and holding her instead. I would always bring a cup of water or milk with me. I would just hold her for a couple of minutes, and then tell her that if she was thirsty, she could have her cup. It probably took a good two/three weeks to get over this stage. She is a very high-needs/high-energy/bad sleeper child, so this probably took longer than it would on a "normal" kid...haha
It sounds like your son is very similar to the way my daughter was. I would just do everything slowly, but be very firm about not letting him nurse when it's not time. Make sure, however, to replace those nursings with plenty of one on one activities that involve lots of snuggles! At this age he is probably wanting to nurse more for comfort/closeness than nutrition, so replacing it with attention is vital.
Sorry that was so long! Good luck!

Just say no. I've started weaning my son-18 months-this month. He'd nurse all day if I let him, snacking here and there. Well, I started with stopping the snacking and no nursing when we eat (breakfast, lunch, dinner). He cries but I just offer him the sippy cup with water or warm milk. He drinks a little and then maybe cries some more but then gets over it because I'm not picking up my shirt and I say no 'bubby' which is our name for it. So now we are down to 3 times a day, morning when we wake up, nap time and night time. He's doing great. My son likes milk for the most part so that is a plus. Now, my daugther was a different story, it took me 3-4 months to get her off, I think because my resolve wasn't there and I was more gentle with the whole thing. She still likes to touch the bubbys for security. ANYWAY, she did not like milk so that was hard. I just gave her water and would tell her no. I was very verbal and would tell her, in 3 days no more bubby, in 2 days no more and so on. I stopped the snacking with distraction...just directed her to a toy or something more interesting. I think with my it's been easier because we are busier. Like, if we go out well, he's just so distracted he'll just drink water and not ask. I am at home with my children 24/7 too. Just try and be firm and say no and offer the sippy cup with some water in it. You can try goats milk too. I didn't try all the different types of milk I just give her the calcium in a different form-OJ with calcium and just different foods. So start the night off with okay, tomorrow no more bubby or whatever you call it and say how he's going to be a big boy and praise him. Then in the morning say it again, oh, you are a big boy now and stop the snacking...after a week cut another feeding out and so on. I know some people do cold turkey but I think that's a little hard for both mommy and kid. I'm a little sad that this is my last child and now he's not going to be so dependent on me, but we have to move on. The night is the worst and I'm dreading doing that one. In a couple of weeks I think I am doing the cold turkey for the night since it's mostly comfort nursing. After I get rid of the morning one I'm letting my husband have him for 3 nights and hopefully we'll be done. For me the nights are the worst, no sleep is not fun. Okay, I've rambled on enough...you can do it!!

You've given him an awesome gift in nursing this long! Yay!

To gently encourage weaning, offer him a drink (water is wonderful!) or snack when he asks to nurse during the day. You'll slowly help him identify his needs of hunger and thirst with alternative means of fulfilling them. You can also distract him with toys, or offer milk "later." As he begins to understand the concepts of light/dark, you can also tell him that milk is available only when it's light/dark outside, etc.

Do make sure you're getting "you" time, when the little guy can hang out with daddy and enjoy other foods and drinks besides Mommy. :) Take care of yourself, and it will be much easier to fulfill your son's needs, too!

I also weaned my daughter by the time she was 2 years old. At 18 months old she was waking up 3/4 times a night to be breastfed. First we eliminated those feedings by only offering her water; she cried at first but we were calm, no kisses and cuddles; just offered water. Within about 5 days she stopped waking up at night! We were amazed how easy it was!

Next we slowly began cutting out the daytime feeds (at this stage she was down to 3 daytime feeds; wakeup, before nap and before bedtime). The nap time feed was the first to go, then the morning feed (we got breakfast quickly) and finally, several months later, the nighttime feed. She was fully weaned by the age of two. I explained to her that mommy's milk was all gone and she seemed to understand (she was very sympathetic infact; patting me on the chest and mournfully explaining "mommy's milk all gone!").

She is also a very picky eater. To get her to drink milk I mixed vanilla soy milk with cow's milk. I also only offered her milk to drink on the trip back from Mother's morning out. She was too thirsty to be fussy!! At age 2 she was able to eat the Lil Critters Gummy vites and Lil Critters Calcium vites too so I felt better about the lack of milk in her diet. I'm still feeding her baby vegetables because that's the only ones she eats. She loves all kinds of fruit, eggs and chicken so she gets lots of that. She also gets an Oreo cookie with a small glass of milk and must drink the milk with the cookie (because everyone knows that oreo cookies taste better with milk!!!) If your son has some other treat to substitute, try that with milk. Recently my daughter has begun eating the very expensive Brown cow vanilla yogurts; the only ones she'll eat.

She will be 3 next month!

Hope this helps; my doctor told me to wean if I wanted subsequent children and sure enough, 3 months after weaning I finally fell pregnant again!!

C H,

There was a request not long ago, almost identical to yours. The "cry it out" method is -not- for me, so here's what I posted:

Kudos to you for long-term nursing!!!

I was very blessed that my oldest self-weaned a month or two before her second birthday. We went on a trip to Disney, and with the constant go-go-go, she just kind of forgot to ask for it.

My youngest, not so much. A few months after her second birthday, I decided it was time to take my body back. Band-Aids worked like a CHARM!!

I'd put one on each side, and tell her that they had "owies," then offer her a cup of milk. . . okay, that worked.
After a day or so, they'd be "all better," (so I wouldn't get engorged). . . . then "owie" again. . . Off and on for about a week or two, longer between each "all better" until I was comfortable that I wouldn't get engorged. Then I left them on "full time" for a bit. It was funny at night - we were co-sleeping at the time, and she'd try to latch on, but couldn't. I'd whisper a reminder about the owies, snuggle up, and she'd go right back to sleep. I think there was only one night that she was inconsolable, and I gave in.

NOTE: I highly recommend that you stick the Band-Aids to your shirt or pants for a moment before applying them. It softens up the adhesive a bit, and makes removal MUCH more comfy.

I actually found this method here on Mamasource, requested and answered by other moms. I thought it was brilliant, since most 2-year-olds know ALL about Band-Aids and "owies." I hope it works as well for you.

Best wishes and luck!
M.

He's old enough to understand you when you say no to nursing - you can't give in! Set him down and tell him he's a big boy now and that nursing is over and that you want him to help pick out some sippy and/or straw cups from the store and then some drinks to put in them - juices, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla milk - whatever works! Maybe some juice boxes too. Make it a celebration and have a picnic! Good luck!

I mixed a little bit of the yo baby yogurt banana beverage in with whole milk. After a few weeks I tapered down the amount of the banana drink in the milk. Finally I eliminated the yogurt beverage in the milk all together and now my son drinks plain milk. Every child is different so if he doesn't like the flavor of banana then try a little bit of chocolate or strawberry syrup.
good luck:)

My twin daughters also nursed as frequently as newborns when they were 2. It can be very frustrating at times.

I wasn't interested in completely weaning at that point, just cutting back. At age 2, I was able to set rules around when I was okay with nursing and then offer alternatives at other times. If they were hungry or thirsty, I would offer something else to eat or drink. However, that was never milk. I was never a milk drinker and my kids will drink it some now but not all the time. They do eat cheese and yogurt and lots of green vegetables and take a supplement to get calcium. Drinking milk is not necessary.

If they want to nurse for comfort, can you offer to cuddle or otherwise play with him in a way that gives him attention and affection?

Another thing I always try to do that seems to help is to explain what is happening as honestly as I can in their age-appropriate language while always acknowledging what they are feeling. So saying, "I understand you really want to nurse right now and you feel sad/mad that I won't let you. But I am very tired right now and we're not going to nurse until morning. I will cuddle with you or get you some water".

Hope this helps. If not, always remember that each phase, no matter how terrible or frustrating or intense, will pass.

He doesn't need milk at this age. He can get his calcium and other nutrients from other sources as long as you provide them for him. So don't push or worry about the milk issue. When it comes to breaking the habit, you will have to be more stubborn than he is, distract him, etc. But, no is no. If you want to give him a warning time, then tell him for the next week he will only be allowed to nurse once that day (you pick the time, but do it at the same time each day). Give him a special toy he can hold at that time too. Then, when the week or 2 weeks is up and the new rule is no breastfeeding (no is no), then just give him that special toy to comfort him or something and then distract him. He's old enough that eventually his demands will stop. But, you will have to be firm about it and not (oh well, or I'm so sorry, or I just can't anymore...). Just be matter of fact and shower on the attention another way.

It sounds like you need a girls weekend. Plan a weekend trip for you and some girlfriends and leave your sweet son with your husband. Take some benadryl (to help you dry up) and get a LOOONG massage, and sleep in. Your son will be fine and you will get some much needed (and deserved) R&R.

my girlfriend had the same problem - she actually had to take an out of town work trip for 4 days during this struggle. She used this time to ween her daughter....it worked. Dad was able to get her to drink from a sippy cup and she tried milk, juice and water. She developed a little dependency on a pacifier - but they are weening her from that also.
Perhaps you and hubby and plan an out of town trip for 3-4 days leaving the little one with a sitter or family members. Don't express, just let him drink what he's given during that time.

Wow, I was in this same boat 1 year ago. I had to stop breastfeeding b/c I had mastitis. Plus my daughter was 2 so I thought she was old enough to ween. I told her that my "nini's" had booboos and were sick. She tried to nurse throughout the day and I just kept telling her she couldn't nurse but that I could hold her. Night time was a different story. I would always nurse her to sleep and she would always wake up to nurse. That night when she woke up I told her she couldn't nurse and when she cried I just rocked her back to sleep. It was a long week. After she got over nursing I got a full nights sleep. It was wonderful. I still miss it sometimes but I love being able to school.

I weaned my oldest when he was about 21 months. He was still waking up to nurse, too, but it only took a couple of nights of telling him "no" and rubbing his back until he went back to sleep for him to start sleeping through the night. I remember asking myself why I hadn't tried that sooner! I went about 72 hours without nursing at all, but I hurt so badly that I let him continue nursing once a night (before bedtime) for about 6 weeks, and then several nights in a row he didn't ask for it, and that was it. He did ask for it on the 3rd or 4th night, but I told him "no, Mommy's milk is all gone," and he was fine. Also, none of my kids were crazy about milk when they were toddlers, but now my older ones love it. My 2yo will only drink milk if I use it to dilute the drinkable yogurts. Yoplait's kid versions have 25% less sugar and DHA in them, so I give her those. Good luck with weaning--I think the kids handle it better than the moms do!

My suggestion is to go on vacation,preferably somewhere with a time difference (even just an hour or two difference would help). You and one other person (husband or mom or someone that can help with your son) and your son. That is how I weaned my one year old son. The disruption in his daily schedule may be enough for you to stop a feeding or two without him realizing it. If you're on the go and off of your regular routine the habit of nursing at certain times may be able to be broken. And on the bright side, at least you'll get a fun vacation even if it doesn't help with the weaning! Also, my son has never liked milk very much since weaning. I'm lucky to get him to drink 1/2 a glass a few times a week. I don't worry about it too much because he is healthy and growing and eats cheese and yogurt.

I had a difficult time weening my son. He, too, wanted to keep breastfeeding, and would cry until I gave in. I was exhausted. My pediatrician finally told my husband that he needed to get up at night every time my son cried and take him to another room. He needed to feed him a bottle if necessary, or just sit with him. It took a couple of weeks, but he finally stopped asking for the breast. During the day, elimate a feeding every few days and replace with a bottle. You will have to suffer through a few days of crying and tantrums, but know that he is healthy and well. Good luck.

First of all, relax!

Second, your son does not need cow's milk to be healthy. EVERYTHING is calcium fortified these days. Yogurt, cheese, pudding, ice cream, veggies, can all fill his calcium requirements. So stop fighting that battle.

The real battle is having him no want you! This is the touch one. My 3rd was the hardest to wean. Especially at night. It was an out of sight out of mind thing during the day, but night time was a whole other beast!

What we did was over Christmas vacation, we sent out 2 older boys to their grandparents house. My DH took some time off work. At night, he and my son took the downstairs bed (we co-sleep) and I took our bed upstairs. Everytime he woke, DH would get him back to sleep. First 2 nights went okay, but nights 3 and 4 were hell! But we all made it through. You will just need to enlist all the help you possible can.

Good Luck!

I just wanted to say GOOD LUCK, mama! I don't have advice for you, as my older two self weaned while I was pregnant with the next (the first was 2 and I was 6 months pregnant with DD, DD was 17 months and I was 8 months pregnant with my baby). My husband has joked with me, "HOw are your going to wean the last baby without getting pregnant?" LOL

Try pumping? Then slowing mix whole milk in with it until he's drinking 100% whole milk. I guess this will only work if he'll drink your milk from a sippy cup. Just a thought.
Good luck & God Bless!
H. B.

CH
Congrats on nursing this long! You have given your son an incredible gift by nursing him this long.

A couple of comments on already posted advice...
-Please do not "cold turkey" wean your son. It is difficult on him emotionally/psychologically and is difficult on you physically/emotionally. Weaning this way opens the door for some problems -- primarily extreme discomfort in your breasts and plugged ducts, which can lead to mastitis. Mastitis can be taken care of with bf-friendly antibiotics and, generally, there is no reason to wean.

-Cow's milk is not essential to a healthy baby/child. Offering water is sufficient. I agree with the mom who said that offering water or healthy snack to help take care of thirst and hunger...
Something else that I would add is physical touch. Sit him in your lap to look at/read books, puzzles, etc.
It's not just what's coming out of your breast that you're trying to replace, although that is some of it.
My opinion is that at the age of 2y, most of what the child is wanting is physical touch or emotionally based....wanting to reconnect with "home base".

HTH and hope it makes sense -- written in a rush

K., mama to
Catherine, 5.5y
Samuel, 2..5y
Baby, due 9/09

Hi CH, I have 3 children and I've breast fed all of them. The first child I weaned at 2 years and I had to just stop because I was pregant with the next. My next child I tried to stop at 2 years old but it ended being about 2 and a half. First I stopped during the day and only did it at night then I just stopped at night. My last child (who is now 4) would still be nursing if I let her. You may just want to stop little by little. I made my kids' "formula" with soaked almonds, raw shredded coconut and your sweetner of choice. I usually used dates. I strained it and they drank. However I had to make it almost daily as it went bad usually after 2 days. As you stop nursing they will eat. Good luck!

All great advice, but I think you need to remember who the Mama is. He can't have something you won't give him and he will take what is offered if that is his only choice. He should also be sleeping through the night, not nursing. You all need your sleep. Good luck.