I'm Desperate for Help with My Clingy Toddler.

She has you figured out. You feel sorry for her or you can't stand the crying. Maybe it's a mix of both or maybe you feel guilty for letting her cry. But it's time to change some things.

When you are cooking, she goes in a high chair nearbye with toys. If she throws the toys on the floor, she sits with nothing. If she cries, she cries. Get a good pair of headphones and some books on tape. It will help you to ignore, ignore, ignore. At night, you check her pants and leave the room. I don't believe in leaving kids in wet pants. But she's old enough to not need either a bottle or food or for you to sit next to her.

As far as the hitting the other kids and then rubbing them and saying nice, she's just trying to figure it out. Do what you feel comfortable with. It's not wrong to tap her back or time her out, or just keep doing what you are doing. Whatever you do, just keep it up and be consistant. If she keeps doing it, put her in a play pen with toys and tell her it's because she's not playing nice. It's not a time out. It's just giving your other kids a break.

Okay you have a lot going on & a lot of diff issues so here goes:
-have her in a high chair w/you while you cook
-make sure she eats more during the day to ensure she sleeps at night
-when dh gets home, have him do what he can to help: he can help you
prepare for the next day while to get you ready. Whatever that is, food,
bottles, clothes, making sure you have enough diapers out & ready to
use
-try to make all appts time slots for times that are best for YOU
-rest when you can...even if it's just sitting taking a load off your feet
-can you lump appts together? (2 kids at dentist @ same time etc?)
-when DH gets home at night, go to sleep as early as you can. If that's 9pm, then that's what it is.
-the spot on the floor playing w/tupperware, pots/pans is a good idea
-fig out a time in your day that is good for getting things done & a time for
resting. (only you will know these times)
-resting, letting housework go by the wayside is better in the long run b/c
for now......your sanity & peace of mind are not only at stake but are items that must be given high priority and taken care of.
-group errands together
-do online what you can: safeway shopping online & delivered (just don't
do perishables & it can be left at your doorstep while you are at work
-since you work full time, use your lunch to rest in your car & read or at a
park. Or use that time to p/u some little items you may need: diapers, meds etc
Hope this helps. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

Awe, I'm so sorry! Go put her down for a nap and take a shower and a nap yourself :)

Dr. Sears is a child expert and has some wonderful advice on discipline and behavior shaping that may really help you out. I know it helped me with my kids who are also very willful and active:

http://askdrsears.com/topics/discipline-behavior

She is just more spirited than the others. It's not what you did it's their personality. She feels/needs more than the others from you. I have 1 this was that way too. Try an Ergo baby carrier and stick her on your back when you cook.

There is a book called "Raising your spirited child" get it.

I agree with Live Bold.

My 15 month old is going through a little bit of this stuff too. I'm finding that when I make a conscious effort to give her more attention/comfort/contact when she's not fussy (as opposed to just when she fusses for me), it's helping overall with the fussiness/clinginess. I have a baby carrier (Beco) that works for bigger babies and so I broke that out again and we've been using it and she loves being toted around and I can still get my stuff done.