J.L.
S., I am a 40+ mom (married 23 years) of a 7 yr old daughter with a learning disability, and it took me over five years before someone would listen to me regarding her delays. I have educated myself heavily on the internet, and have sought action. You did not mention the type of disability that she has, but my daughter had the same tantrums. She still does when she is frustrated with herself. Try to put yourself in her world. I know it's not easy, believe me, I know. There are some parenting resources that are available for your support that you may check into. They're Love and Logic, and they do have a web site, I think it's www.loveandlogic.com. Also, the one thing that has helped my daughter to channel her frustrations the most is gymnastics. There is something about this activity that stimulates the brain so that the behavior can function better. There are other activities that promote movement that will help her. I think another mom has actually recommended something on this order. Another area for you to research is www.feingold.org. They offer some great suggestions using diet, and they have awesome links. She may or may not outgrow her disability, but am thankful for the new sciences that are being developed to help everyone involved cope better without the use of harmful drugs. Most important, find a support group. They're worth gold!