I Think I Was Dicriminated Against in a Job Interview??

You went to the first interview where she asked inappropriate questions, however, you were asked back for a second round (to watch the dr.). So nope, no discrimination there.

You will never know the real story unless you ask the HR person why you were not considered. She may.may not get back to you. But I would let it go and not worry about it. Anyone can discriminate based on anything - if they don't want you, you are better off not being there!

You should tell anyone that asks you why you were home for 4 years that you decided to take off some time to be a stay at home mom and now that the kids are a little older, you want to rejoin the workforce. And, that you are very excited to jump right back in. That's all you need to say.

Good luck!

i dont think if they desciminated agnst you they would have invited you back. most times people discriminate they are so oblivious to the legal ramifications they wouldnt then invite you back to cover their butts. They are not allowed to ask if you have kids on an interview though

You took 4 years off, out of the workforce. That's more likely to count you out of a job than having kids, IMO.

You did reply to the long period of unemployment with "to dedicate time to my family", which in an employer's eyes could mean that you will call in a lot, or be late, or might quit to stay home again, at the drop of a hat, or won't be loyal or dedicated. I think once you mention having kids, there's a gray area... was she just asking to make conversation? You don't know & you can't prove otherwise.

Honestly, I doubt you were discriminated against. If they had their pick between a childless person who had recent work experience, I think it would be a no brainer. Jobs are not as plentiful as they used to be, and employers have their pick of the litter. I wouldn't over analyze it.

Could you perhaps point out where in this story you were discriminated against? People that take four years off are not a protected class. People that have kids are not a protected class. People that missed work are not a protected class.

Women are a protected class but you would have to prove it was because you are a woman you weren't hired and nothing you said here shows that.

Sorry but I can't help but wonder why you answered the question of the work gap, dedicate time to your family? That answer pretty much made it impossible to say it was because of your kids they didn't hire you. Men have kids too but they don't have a pattern of taking off years to dedicate to them. After you answered that question they already knew you had kids, ya know?

I am just saying this because don't answer that question that way in the future. I used I took time off to volunteer and I had the resume to prove it. Okay so you were in school soooooo I took time off to go to school?

I don't see it as discrimination.

You got a gut feeling about the place and I would run with that vs trying to determine if they were discriminating.

Discrimination would be difficult to prove and costly for you if you chose to pursue it with legal action.

I think you are pretty fortunate that you honed in on your gut. You already know it would not be a good fit so let it go and move on to something better.

Added- Diane B gives you some really good advise. I especially like what she wrote about the resume!

Original:
It sounds to me that number one, the person interviewing you is not very professional (talking about drama in the office to a potential hire? wow!) and doesn't know what she is doing. Just because she is hiring doesn't mean that she knows the laws.

Since you aren't going to be working with them, perhaps you should call her up and ask her why she broke the law and asked you these questions. Tell her that she could get her company sued for this. Don't be rude about it. Tell her that most people have children - that's the way of the world.

Before you call her, find out the exact law as to what CAN and CAN'T be said. If she doesn't believe you, send her the copy of it.

It won't help you, but it might help someone else.

Now, for the future, you need to work on your interviewing skills. There are ways to answer these questions that turn a negative (like she asked) into a positive. In other words, you touch on an answer (like why you've been out of the workforce for 4 years) but you turn it into a positive. How you multi-task well, manage, etc, etc - lots of buzzwords. You have to actually work out what you want to say in advance. Practice it. Turn weaknesses into strengths. Turn every day stuff into business acumen. You can do this. Being a mom is hard work. You can turn that hard work into office skill.

So be better prepared for the next interview. Do some reading about how to interview and you'll feel a lot better, even if someone asks illegal questions. At the very least, you'll know what you should and shouldn't say.

Dawn

She technically should not ask, however, you brought the subject of family up. So she has some wiggle room.

Do I think they passed on you because you have kids...probably, did they discriminate against you, doubtful!

Like others have said, turn your answer into a statement about how you were able to accomplish certain things, you were the house manager, you kept the schedule adherence....things that can directly relate to you having kids but also saying that you can and will be an employee they can count on.

Asking about your kids is only discriminatory if that's a reason they didn't hire you.

It is not illegal, or discrimination, to ask about your kids.

If you believe that the actual reason they didn't hire you is BECAUSE you have 3 kids, then you need to call a lawyer. Without something other than a single question, it would appear to be tough to allege, much less prove, discrimination.

If this is a Dr office then I would imagine 90% of the workers are woman with children, so very doubtful they discriminated against you.

Sounds like the lady was *overly* friendly with asking you questions about your family since you brought it up and also divulging all the drama in the office. Count your blessings.

Anything is possible, but you won't be able to prove it. They'd have to be very stupid to admit they didn't hire you because you're a mom. I doubt they'll be so sloppy. Just consider that someone else was a better fit. Since there was drama there you're better off elsewhere. Best wishes. :)

Were you discriminated against? Maybe. Would you have an actionable case against this potential employer? Almost certainly not.

It sounds like you weren't a good fit for them. I'm sure they based this upon your answers, including that you have children. But they could also have decided you weren't the right candidate based on the working interview or your employment history.

Say you were home with your family. There is nothing wrong with that answer. Some people interviewing don't know what they should or should say. Were you discriminated against? Doubtful. I find it interesting that you go straight to discrimination when you had a working interview. My thought is that they didn't feel it was a good fit and not because you have kids. Chances are most of them had kids as well.

I am in agreement with the other ladies.
Discrimination, if that is what it is, would be very hard to prove.
I would find another job to apply for if I were you.
OT: You live in my hometown. :)

I don't know if you were discriminated against or not...and you are only going by your gut feeling (which is obviously not a bad thing). There is no way that you can ever prove any type of discrimination here...it is your word against theirs. Just move on and be glad that you did not get a job with a company that acts like this.

Sounds like it just wasn't the right fit--for you or them.

Yes. You were discriminated against.
And what do you say about the last four years? the same thing you have already said. They hire people with children everywhere. You just didn't get that job and I am sure you are the lucky one. However, I think you should wait a bit and report it after you get a different job.
And if you do get an interviewer you see headed that way you can either
a) point out how illegal it is (and I have) or
b) tell them you are no longer interested, get up and leave.
you do not -really, seriously honestly, you do not want to work for a company who has so little value for family. those companies that do will put you in high esteem and realize what a hard worker they have on their hands

Check with your state's commission against discrimination. They have a right to ask you about gaps in your work history and perhaps she was making conversation (or thought she was) about your kids. However, asking the number, the ages etc. is questionable. Asking about days missed at your last job is probably okay but it sounds like it followed on the heels of questions about kids, and it's not okay to go fishing for info on how often your kids were sick or had a school play and you didn't show up. I'm not clear on "how far away" - not sure why it's relevant except if she was mentally calculating what time your oldest got on the bus and when you could get to work. It's a dumb question anyway because she could easily Mapquest it after you left, or frankly before you arrived! Telling you the difficult side of a job is okay, but not if she's disparaging the doctor - it may be that they've lost a lot of people because he's difficult, and she's trying to get a good hire, but it kind of smells bad to me. Having you meet the doctor you'd be working with is okay (which would be appropriate for the top candidates in any job - meet the boss, observe the working environment) but it sounds a little like she was trying to talk you out of it once she found out you had kids. She can state that they are strict about hours or start times, but can't ask you if that's a problem because you have kids. And she needs to state that for all applicants.

Don't assume that red flags should go up if you took time off to raise kids. Don't give the ages - say "I'm not sure that's relevant." I have seen resumes where return-to-work moms have listed their skills during the at-home years including family manager, budget supervisor, activities director as well as any volunteer activities (fundraising chair, classroom aide). They aren't denying they were home with their kids but they showcase the skills they utilized.

It's possible that this person has no training in HR and is ignorant of the laws. It's also possible she knows the law and is ignoring it. You can get advice from your state's office against discrimination and decide whether to file a complaint. Just because you don't want the job doesn't mean they should continue going on and on like that. And you can probably get some literature on questions that are legal and what appropriate answers might be.

I do feel they discriminated against you too. They are not supposed to asked those questions at all about your family. If you volunteer the information, not asked, that is another story, but that's not what happened.

You'll find a much better job, keep your head up!!!

I definitely think they asked some very inappropriate questions, especially since the manner in which they asked made you feel uncomfortable at the time. And telling you negative things about the doctor is just plain weird.

When they ask why you haven't worked for four years, you can say that you took time off to raise your family. It's best to be honest. But, without pausing or giving them a chance to ask more about it, say that you are eager to get back into the workforce, as you've really missed being employed outside the home and having a life away from your children.

Discrimination is a tough case to prove, and chances are, you could never win this one if you did want to do something about it.

If they ask you again in an interview any specifics about your kid, try changing the subject without even answering. Instead of giving the ages, ask them a question about the job. Have a few in mind ahead of time so you're ready to fire one off as needed!

Okay, so you are upset that you did not go further into the application process of a place you were not even impressed with in the first place? I would simply be happy that they moved on and move on yourself.

When I've been asked that same question in the past, I answer it honestly like you did, but no, an interviewer is not allowed to ask you if you have children, and yes, she can get in trouble for that. However, at the end of the day, like you said, it does sound like a place you wouldn't want to work anyway, so you probably dodged a bullet!

Don't know if they discriminated against you, but they were completely inappropriate during their interview. Not sure if it would be worth telling someone in charge that the interviewer was violating interview rules.

http://www.hrworld.com/features/30-interview-questions-11...

This is a link about this issue.

They may have or they may not have. You are right, they can't ask you how many children you have or the ages. I think the fact that they mention that the doctor may be hard to work for or that there is drama is actually a good thing. I've had interviewers say such things in a roundabout manner because it could be a difficult workplace or a difficult supervisor who micromanages, etc. I've always considered that kind of info a gift, to tell you the truth. A warning!

I don't feel you were discriminated against.
You brought up dedicating yourself to your family. You opened that door.

We hire LOTS of people who have kids, but it's not an unfair question to ask if they have daycare, etc in place for their children. You'd be surprised how many people say they don't. I mean, it seems to me that's something you'd have in order BEFORE applying for a position. That's just an example. How could we hire someone with children and no daycare plan?

We have employees who are raising their grandkids. Having kids, in and of itself, isn't an issue. And, we work in a very fast paced, high stress industry. There's no point in painting rainbows and roses for someone. That would be misleading. We hired one woman to work in the office and she only lasted 4 days. She voluntarily left due to not being comfortable with the pace of things.

It sounds like they asked you back to get a feel for you and so you could get a feel for them. They chose to go with someone else. These things happen.
They didn't HAVE to offer you a "working" interview in order to cover anything up.

No offense, but it sounds like you went in with the feeling that they wouldn't hire you because you had kids and maybe you set yourself up for failure in that regard.

After my divorce, I hadn't worked in 10 years and I simply explained that we have moved quite a bit for my husband's job but I wouldn't be moving anymore. I never mentioned my divorce, I never said it was because my family came first. I just said that my husband's career required us to relocate often and at that time, I didn't need to work. However, I was ready and eager to get back into the workforce.

It's all in the way you present things sometimes.

I'm sorry you didn't get the job, but you felt uncomfortable for whatever reason. I think it means that the right job for you is just around the corner.

Best wishes.

I would say it was the best thing for that time in my life.

I believe you are a medical assistant if I remember correctly. I work in technical sales for a testing laboratory calling on OBGYNs and I don't think I have ever met a medical assistant that didn't have children.

I was never a SAHM and I looked for a job last year (daughter was 17) and back when she was five. I always volunteered the information about child care to eliminate the question in their mind. I wanted them to know I had everything covered. Answer their question and then tell them the reasons you are capable and available.

This office didn't sound like a good fit. Use this opportunity to practice and perfect your answers. Get comfortable with a short explanation of taking care of your family and now it is time to resume your career. I'm not a big fan of explaining that you were a chef, housekeeper and driver...we all are.

Good luck!

I haven't interviewed with kids. But I've been asked how far away I live. I think they just wanted to know if travel time and possible lateness would be a problem. I think it is acceptable to ask how many days you missed at your last job, kids or not. Also, I had a job interview where they told me the job was boring and if they were lucky I would last 1 1/2 years. It was working for tax attorneys. I left thinking it was odd and had a bad feeling. I got a call 2 hours later telling me I had the job. I didn't take it, not after the rave reviews they gave their office. For what it's worth, I think you opened the door to the family questions when you said you dedicated yourself to your family. I don't know how to answer that question any other way, but the door was definitely opened. Either way, I think you dodged a bullet. Good Luck in your job search.