I Need Your advice......about a Book (The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands).

Did you read my mind?! I was just going to post something similar to this. I've been hearing LOTS about this book and thinking about giving it a read and see what it has to offer.

Maybe we should start a book club, since it appears a lot of other mamas have been interested as well! =)

Well until there is a book about the proper care and feeding of wives, I am not reading it. Her points are outdated, but work well if you have a traditional household.

Go get it at the library and read it. The advice in it is great. If you have a good man he will respond to all of the suggestions in the book.... you dont have to let him know you are reading it... mine didnt know ;)

Where's the book called The Proper Care and Feeding of Wives?

The Proper Care & Feeding of husbands by Dr Laura.
Have not read it.
Apparently, I'm already caring and feeding him ok. lol ;-)

I've read it....several times. I love it. It has done great things for my marriage. I can see the flip side....how some women would be offended or upset by it, but I took Dr. Laura's advice to heart. And I saw great results. It's not steps...she just helps you tweak your thinking of how women should treat their men. I hope you'll read it....and see what you think. Good luck!!

I picked it up out of pure curisoity after seeing how much buzz it has created on this site alone, lol. I got it from Books A Million for around $12. I thought it was a really good read. I also went into it with an open mind, not letting any of the opinions (especially the negative ones) construe my thinking. You have to admit that no matter how you feel about her suggestions, her "ideals" do make sense. There are no steps. The basic concept is that men are simple creatures with a very simple thought process. You have the power to control your own happiness with your husband as long as you know how to do it. If you're already stuck in a "power struggle" over who treats whom better/worse...it will take a bit of bending and giving on your part...at first. I suggest that you do get it and read it. I actually think everyone should read it (men, women, married, single, troubled or blissful). It really gives you a good insight to how his (men in general) thought process works.

I agree with the premise, and I think it would definitely help a marriage. I mean, anyone who treats another person more nicely usually benefits from it, so I don't know what the downside would be.

Someone on this site said the book ruined her marriage - I would be interested in hearing why. I haven't read the book myself, but I've listened to Dr. Laura enough over the years, so I know her philosophy.

Overall, now that I've been around a few decades, I've learned that her take on males is pretty correct. Go ahead, read the book.

I haven't read it but I know the basic concepts and I think it is worth reading. Then you try her advice and form your own opinion.
It is written by Dr Laura on the radio. Personally, I think the reason why lots of women hate her is because on the radio, she comes across as really in your face judgemental and rude. Kind of an abrasive personality. She is not perfect but she makes herself sound like she is always right and perfect. So when people call and they expect compassion and a listening ear, sometimes she just yells at them.

Personally, I think her heart is in the right place and that when she yells, she is trying to wake people up, and also she is a business so if she is more in your face or dramatic, she probably gets higher ratings than if she were more dull. Plus she only has like 2 minutes to solve major problems for people so she has to cut to the chase. I don't agree with her all the time but I think she understands men pretty well and the way they tick. I think she puts too much emphasis on sex. But when she says that women have tons more power than they realize in setting the tone for their home and marriage, and tells them how to get that power, I think she is right.

I bet your library has a copy or you could buy a used copy off amazon.com or half.com or something.

Well I have been thinking on this book as well after seeing so many recommendations on this site, and your post made me go finally check it out. I read some excerpts and I am definitely going to get it. It looks great and I think there is always more to learn about how to fill our man's heart and be great wives. So I say yes! Maybe we can compare notes later;)

I am not sure about anyone else, but I would go borrow it from the local library. It doesn't cost any money and you will know right away if it is the book for you. Best of luck!~

M

I hate "Dr." Laura. She seriously thinks that wives should have sex with their husbands when they don't feel like it. That just totally creeps me out. And before anyone asks, I have HEARD HER SAY IT several times on her radio show. Creepy.

Sorry I have no idea about the book but I would like to see the responses also ..

I am not sure about the book as God has always been my guide. My husband and I do argue from time to time, but he and I both know that we are meant to be together that we love each other with all of our hearts and always find ways to make each other feel that way...man hope that made sense.
The first step is treat your husband how you want to be treated this will encourage him and make him want to do the same for you without asking. Please know this is not the easiest way, but To Me it is the Best way.

Why don't you want to go to counseling?
It might be just what the two of you need.
And/or . . . . are you aware of MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER
and MARRIAGE ENRICHMENT weekends?
Google either of these with the name of your city.
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I haven't looked at the book itself so I can't have an opinion.
However, I'm impressed by how many women here endorse it.
OTOH, Dr. Laura's attitudes about women's roles
and men's roles can set us back maybe 50-60 years, imo.
YMMV.

Now i'm curious and will look for this book. I really revommend reading John Grey's books Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. and Mars and Venus Communicate. I get a lot of books on Paperbackswap.com

A better book I would recomend that helped my marriage and many of my friends is "Created to be his helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. This is a Christian book on a wife's power in a marriage. I really liked this book and found the principles really worked.

I read it and liked it...it gives some food for thought...as far as how we as women expect men to be...and hold then to this unrealistic standard.

It does give tips for treating your husband better and how when you do treat him differently...he in turn will treat you differently.

Check it out from the library...see what you think...

Maybe I should find my copy and re-read it.

i really liked The Love Dare. I dont know the author off hand. But i got the book at Wal mart for like 7 dollars. It was a fun book and yes it gave you "steps" to do each day. Dont let your husband know that you are reading it, or doing the steps. try it! i loved it!

Dear Mommy,

I was reading your post, and I have heard also about this book, but I never read it and looked for it. However, you as many others woman including myself, thought about to improve the relationship with our husbands. Just a thought H.: I realized by myself from my heart that I AM the pillar of my house, my home, and everything depends on me. I am not the provider speaking financially, but I the provider of love, happiness, and strength for my kids and my husband as well.
My husband and I have always had a nice and strong relationship with the normal ups and downs of a marriage; In the moment I realized that I wanted to improve, like you, my relationship with my husband, I saw myself from outside, and I realized that simple details change our relationship and gave to our marriage more strength and passion and a smooth daily life.
I learned that in spite of all the daily problems at home (kids, cleaning, mood swings, laundry, cooking, bills, sex, husband, homeschooling, etc) things turn out to be better. Just simple things like:
Listen and smile more often,
Be kind, and say "thank you for being there", "for help me with...." (even if your husband didn't do it the way you do it, etc...
Wake up and take a quick shower, get dressed nicely (not fancy) and look fresh,
Kiss him and hold his hand more often,
Prepare or cook something he likes a lot,
Don't get mad easily neither with him nor the children,
Help him gladly with something he asks you for,
Let him know about your feelings but, NOT during an argument,
Make love to him and talk about your needs freely,
Go out with the kids more often and have nice walks or watch family movies together,
Show him how glad you are when he is home (the routine doesn't allow us to do that and we, women, do not realize that sometimes we receive our husbands in a bad mood or just indifferent)
Have and interesting conversation not just house, bills, kids, etc.
Share a movie just both of you
Be attractive (smile, dress nice, sexy when is the time to be sexy,tender...)
Share chores, (we share my husband's and mines every once in a while),
Share his memories, go into his things together (my husband loves telling me about university, trips or family)
Be sincere and open in a nice and respectful way
Be there always,
Dear Mommy, in the moment, long time ago, I put in practice all these things, my husband has been returning me back the same things. We enjoy our time together as a couple (we don't have too much time..lol!) and as a family. We don't argue, we talk. Remember that you need two people to fight or argue. Let him argue, and keep silence, he will stop and then when he is calm you express your ideas in a calm way.
Sex is important but sometimes, making love is better.....(that is..both)
I hope this helps a little bit, just a little bit..Everything can be improved, we just have to forget that is easy. Nothing that comes easy, stay, only what we do with great effort and love stay.
Try....
Have a wonderful evening!

Read everything! Not just that book. Educating yourself and gleaning something from one book and something from another is a smart way to go.No one person has all of the answers. Try counseling, also. If your husband doesn't want to go, go yourself. The more you learn and care and feed yourself, the more someone else will follow and you teach them the way you would like to be treated - husband, kids, friends co-workers - you teach them what you need from them.
I wish you well and no matter what book you read or what advice you get or take, it's all a great voyage of dicovery that can do nothing but help.
Power of a praying Wife" by Stormy O'Martian is great, as is, "The Five Love Languages" ... the list is neverending

i love it, cant hurt to read it.

i'd go to the library, that way you arent out any money if you hate it.

Try your local library. It's free to sign up; and you can peruse any book...

Go to a video conference or buy the book/DVD's from Love and Respect Ministries by Emmerson Eggelreich. It's much better if husband and wife go together. Men have to learn to love their wives better with understanding and wives have to learn to respect their husbands. His info was so helpful to us. Changed our relationship completely. If it was just me seeking help I doubt it would have worked the same. So to all you women doing all the relationship work - it's better if you man is involved- that's what you really want anyway, isn't it?