Okay, I am really hoping someone out there has had the same problem I am having. My 5 month old daughter will not sleep! When we first brought her home from the hospital the only way she would sleep was if she was touching me (friends and family said this was a normal breastfed baby thing). By three months old she had grown out of it, and for the last 2 months has been sleeping on her own in her crib (all night most nights without waking up). Within the last week she has done a complete 180 and we are back where we started. She is refusing to sleep alone. She doesn't nap during the day so it's not like she isn't tired. I haven't changed her routine or her environment at all. I just don't understand it. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so how did you fix it? I am so tired and I don't know how many more nights I can stand to see 4 am. Any suggestions?
I would like to thank everyone for their advice. I have taken a little piece of each. As I am writing this, my little girl is fast asleep in her crib and she put herself to sleep!!!!! I don't know if this is a fluke or if I am onto something. After purchasing and trying literally EVERY pacifier on the market, I have found one that she will take (the Gerber Soft Center Silicone Pacifier). Also, I gave her a blankie and switched the end of the bed that I put her head at (per Grandma's advice). I am still working on the naptime thing, she has never napped (not since she was 3 days old). I have been fighting that battle for 5 months and am still working on it. I let her sleep with me when she needs it, but only as a last resort. I have severe back problems and having her in bed with me tends to make things much worse for me. Hopefully, with any luck, this will be the end of the bedtime drama for now. Again, thanks everyone for your help!
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C.B.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
Hi,my name is C., my oldest daughter(now 5) did the same thing. Someone told me to pass her under the table, I thought they were crazy.lol Well one night her father and I couldn't take it anymore, so we did it, we just passed her under the coffee table(one of you on each side of the table), it WORKED!! I don't know if it works for every baby, but it's worth a try. Good luck.
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D.C.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
At 5 months she should still take a nap. Maybe not a long one, but a short one. Maybe she is overly tired. Just a suggestion.
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C.V.
answers from
Miami
on
Have you tried letting her cry it out? It's hard, but that's what we had to start doing with my lil one. SHe's 10 months now. She's doing great now except when she's teething then we have some restless nights, but have faith it will get easier.
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I.
answers from
Miami
on
Hi B.,
Your baby sounds normal. Babies go through different cycles as they grow and change physically and mentally. At 5 months old, she�s still brand new, and her little body and brain have a lot of growing and adjusting yet to do.
I completely concur with Marcie�s advice. There are plenty of parents who don�t feel co-sleeping is an option for them, and that�s fine, but if you�ve never tried it, you should give it a try because it might work for you. It was a life saver for me.
Use your common sense, or look up info on the internet. You should never sleep with a baby or child if you are intoxicated either from alcohol or medication.
Humans have slept with their young since time began and it�s only been since the 19th century that we�ve moved away from that.
Co-sleeping is a great way to get some extra rest with a new baby!
Good luck.
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E.C.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
I have not had this problem personally, my daughter still sleeps in our bed, she is seven months old, but she sleeps good. She spends the first half of the night in her crib in our room and then the second half in our bed. A lot of breastfed babies wake because they need the comfort of being next to the breast. Maybe try letting her sleep with you half of the night if it works for you. A lot of research has been done on the family bed and some say it makes for happy and healthy babies. There was even a part of the Yummy Mummy show dedicated to children that share the bed with their parents. If that doesn't work for you I am not sure what to try. Every family is different, I wish you the best!
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L.G.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi B.,
This sounds very familiar, I have an 11 month old girl who still wakes up at least once a night. I still breastfeed as well, just once a day though. Is it possible that she is starting the teething misery? Is there lots of chewing on her fingers and drooling? That was part of my daughter's problem. Plus, I would feed her when she cried at 5- months old. I knew nursing would get her back to sleep, then she got used to it and would cry until I would get up and go to her and nurse. I had to break that by not going in there right away. I would wait 10 min at first to see if she was going to go back to sleep. It was tough. It took 2-3 nights and then she would just whine a little and go back to sleep. Hope it helps a little. This too shall pass.
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L.
answers from
Miami
on
are you sure that there isn't something bothering her, maybe teething, belly aches
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S.L.
answers from
Tampa
on
That is odd that she suddenly changed her habits, does she have a cold? Some things I used was a WHITE NOISE machine or the hum of an air cleaner, swaddling, give blankie or paci, positioning (on side with wedges), giving warm milk with cereal just before bed (in case she's getting up from hunger!), teddy bear with heartbeat sound. Check temperature (maybe she's too hot or too cold). Whiskey? Just kidding!
Call relatives for back up, so you can get a couple hours of sleep. How come she does not nap?? I can sympathize, this is a very difficult period, I can remember that terrible OVER-tired feeling. Good luck. Read Happiest Baby on the Block whild she 'd keeping you up.
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E.L.
answers from
Pensacola
on
There is a book out there that really is awesome! I have 2 sons and have gone throught years of getting no sleep. This book REALLY helped me out and many of my friends. It is all research based...it is not necessarly a specific method, but it gives you the information on sleep habits, problems and options on what to do. It has many examples from other parents and I think you would find it very useful...it also goes up through high school years. Basically it sounds like your baby is sleep deprived all around so therefore is not able to get quality sleep...a problem my sons had for a long time...The book is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by, Dr. Weiss Bluth
I hope this helps and good luck to you...sleep deprivation can be one of the hardest things to deal with...
Sincerely, E.
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L.L.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Two of my three kids had sleeping problems. One of mine has allergies and I think that keeps him up at night.
They say to keep a rigid schedule. Keep all day naps consistant. Routine is important for the baby . Keep bath time the same and then later storytime the same time at night. Consistency and routine are the one elements that you hear over and over.L.
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K.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hey B.,
Don't get discouraged. I have an 8 month old who did the same thing and we are still working on it, he is now only getting up at 3am and I go in and let him know I am still there but don't pick him up and 9 out of 10 times he goes back to sleep on his own! I lay him in his crib during the day time to get used to being in there...give him some toys so that he knows his crib is not a "bad" place to be. I try to never let him fall asleep while I am holding him. I also have my husband and older daughter put him to sleep as well, so he realizes I am not the only person that puts him to sleep. It tends to be working for us. Also, if you are only breastfeeding, try mixing some breast milk with rice cereal an hour before you lay the baby down. This helped us tremendously...it seemed as though he may have gotten hungry and it woke him up several times at night.
If this doesn't work, talk to your pediatrician. Sometimes they have ideas as well.
Again, don't get discouraged...you and your baby will figure it out again. If you have someone that can come over during the day and let you get in a nap, it will help you. Sometimes us moms just need some sleep!! You are not alone!!
Good luck,
K.
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A.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hello. Everyone has an opinion and mine is different from some of the other responses I saw you received. My son has always been a terrible sleeper, and still is (he's 9 now). The way I solved my sleep deprivation problems when he was an infant was to let him sleep in the bed with me. This will not spoil your child; she will eventually learn to sleep on her own. Some children just need a little extra love and care. I don't think you should let her "cry it out" - crying is her only way of telling you she needs you - why would you ignore that? Grab every minute of rest for yourself that you can; sleep deprivation can lead to other health problems as well as depression and anxiety. If you need "expert" advice check out Dr Sears' books - he recommends gentle, loving parenting including co-sleeping. Good luck!
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K.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi B.,
I have a son about the same age as your daughter, and I'm a first time mom too. My son is 5 1/2 mo. I've noticed as he's approaching 6 mo. he's doing a lot of growing. In his play he's learning new things practically everyday, it's great. At the same time with the sleep, he is napping less (probably b/c he loves his new skills) and he did start to wake up at 3:30 all of a sudden, when he had been sleeping until 6 or 7 for about 3 months now. I attribute it to growing.
As far as your baby's needs to sleep with you, I'd let her sleep with you if that's what she needs (and if it'll let you get more sleep). She'll get back in her crib when she's ready. jackson has done that too. We had to just start all over again with introducing the crib and he was back in there in about a week. But I wouldn't push it...the most important thing is to listen to your baby and meet her needs. So if she wants to sleep with you, let her sleep with you.
Good luck,
K.
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O.
answers from
Naples
on
i,
She may be going through a growth spurt and just be hungry. I slept
with all of mine at this age, so I dunno, but my best friend didn't
and she used a warm, not hot, hot water bottle encased in a coverlet.
Also, those cd's with the "womb" sounds really worked for my daughter
at that age. Now that's she's older, we still use a "sound machine" .
She likes the sounds of the ocean. I'm not sure if it would be healthy
or not, at 5 months, pretty young, but some doctors will tell you to
give them a little rice cereal, extremely diluted with breast milk
(you can even put in bottle-if she will drink from bottle-mine
wouldn't), this may work if she's waking up from hunger.
Hope this helps!
O.
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M.
answers from
Tampa
on
Is she teething?
There is a great book that you might find in your local library.
It is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth.
Try a white noise machine in her room to drown out any distracting noises -- air purifier, fan, etc.
Does she have a stuffed animal that she can hold?
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M.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
So does she. She should be napping twice a day at that age. She's probably over tired. Unlike adults, babies sleep more the more they sleep. I would try getting her on a nap schedule with morning nap around 9:30 and afternoon nap around 2:00 (you nap then too!!!) My daughter didn't sleep well on her own until 7 months, but I would nap with her (we'd both fall asleep while she was nursing) whenever I could. I was worried she would never sleep alone, but they all do, just at different rates. The most important thing is to maintain a schedule and both of you try to sleep as much as possible so your both are a lot happier:)
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J.W.
answers from
Melbourne
on
She may be just going through a growth spurt. My son did that at the same timing (he is now 5 1/2 months). He is again sleeping through the night, but there was a point where he was waking up 2 or 3 times a night! it slowly went down to once, then none again.
Just hang in there! It will get better!
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D.
answers from
Sarasota
on
This is very typical and indicates a growth spurt or rapid development in your daughter. Don't dispair-- it's not forever. It happens to most 5-6 month olds. A great resource is Sleepless in America- Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. She's got wonderful nurturing ideas and does not recommend that crying it out. Hang in there. They do eventually sleep through the night. It's amazing how a body can adjust to no sleep!!!!
D.
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J.
answers from
Orlando
on
I had the same problem with my second son. After many sleepless nights I called a friend of mine who was a pediatric nurse practitioner, she said it sounded like either he was over tired from not enough sleep during nap time or it was a growth phase,which also requires sleep. So she recommened I put him down for 2 naps one in the Am and a shorter one in the Pm, using a fisher price symphony crip toy to help soothe him. He would watch if until his eyes shut. It took me about 4 days to get him into that schedule, but whatever the problem was it vanished as ackwardly as it appeared. On an other thought it could be a phase of separation anxiety. Both my children went through that and you just have to work throught it .
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S.
answers from
Miami
on
Hi B.,
Sounds like you have your hands full right now. My kids both did the same thing when they were infants -- as soon as you got used to their routine, they'd change it completely. It's totally normal, so don't think you're doing anything wrong. Your daughter might be teething, or going through a growth spurt and in need of extra hugs/food at night. Try to make sure she naps during the day, she's really too young to go without a daytime nap. Then she ends up being overtired, which can also lead to sleep problems. Most likely, this phase will end on it's own in a few weeks or months -- I know it seems like a long time right now, but in hind sight, nothing is as drastic as it seems at the time. You'll be dealing with something else soon, believe me! :-) In the meantime, try to go to bed earlier if you know you might need to get up during the night. And if you get mad and frustrated (we all do!!!), make sure to take it out on something like your pillow, not your daughter.
One more thought - how long do you wait before you respond to your daughter? I found out that if I gave my son 10 minutes or so, he sometimes would go back to sleep on his own. That's easier if baby has her own room, of course. There are many excellent books on sleep on the market, try Amazon.com to check out some and read the reviews.
Good luck! It won't last forever!
S.
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D.H.
answers from
Tampa
on
B.,
Did you ever try playing soft music in her room. I did that for my son when he was younger and it put him to sleep. Like the rest of the mom's say, it's a phase she is going through and she'll out grow it. Hope this help's and good luck!!!!!
D.
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K.V.
answers from
Tampa
on
Dear B.,
I remember days (and nights )like this! Just when you think you have this sleep thing down, the baby changes. There could be many reasons...teething, ear infections, nightmares. My pediatrician recommended getting a night light and a mirror in the crib. The baby wakes up and sees someone. It is up to you how you handle it. I read a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Everyone I know including myself that followed this book improved their sleep habits. Sleepless nights are NOT something you can get used to. It will disturb your sanity, your health, your marriage, etc. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
K.
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N.T.
answers from
Lakeland
on
Hi B., My sons had restless sleep when they were teething. Is your daughter teething? I would give them motrin and baby oral gel night time formula on their teeth. I would give this to them a little before I put them to bed and then they were fine. I am not sure if this will help but I just wanted to let you know. Lots of luck
N.
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L.U.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
Have you read the Baby Whisperer? Excellent resource for understanding babies. I think your baby needs to sleep more than just at night. My grandmother always says "the more you sleep, the more you sleep." I have found that to be true with my kids. The days they miss their naps are always bad nights for them, where they wake up a lot or sleep fitfully. The more they stay on their schedule (2 2-hour naps daily) they sleep much better at night (7pm-7am). But these are just one perspective. I'm sure others will have many other approaches.
L.
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C.L.
answers from
Miami
on
hi there...been there, done that and no fun what so ever!!!!
first off i have to tell you that you may think im crazy BUT this is the reason for both my kids torturing me in the middle of the night from the time they were 4 months old till about 1..sorry
teething...could be that your daughter is teething and the pain is waking her up..is she sucking on things that she wasnt or drooling excessively? feel her gums are they hard maybe a tooth starting to push out? my kids both got there first teeth at 5 months old and this is what they both did to me.
good luck!
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J.B.
answers from
Orlando
on
i am a mother of 4 and each one of my children did the same different times of their lives. I changed the routine just slightly. like kept them up for 1/2 hour longer or give them a bath alittle bit longer. I know it sound crazy but it worked for me. you have to let them cry a little bit . put her to bed and go take a shower by the time you get out she will be sleeping. If you have anymoe questions email me at ____@____.com
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L.
answers from
Pensacola
on
I see you have gotten lots of advice. Here is what we did:
Put baby to bed
If she cries, let her cry
If she is still crying in 10 minutes, go back in and sooth her
(rub back, talk softly, dont pick up)
leave, dont go in for another 10 minutes, if still crying
Keep this up until she goes to sleep.
Be persistant, it should only take about 3 nights, and you will be tired, but it will be worth it.
Also, she should be taking 2 naps a day!!!! use the same procedure for naps too.
Good luck!
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D.
answers from
Tampa
on
Here are some things you can try but know that kids do this off and on. My five year old sleeps through the night but for some reason when she was three we had a rough time with sleep.
Rubbing her back to get her to sleep. (feed her really well before bed time.)
Night light. A very important item. Does she have a comfort thing? Mine used a cloth diaper to cuddle up to. See if there is a comfort item that your daughter has and place it in the crib with her.
This might sound crazy, but I told my youngest when she was 7 months old, that big girls sleep all night. I told her many times that tonight is the night for no more bottles and sleep all night. Sounds crazy but that night she slept all night. Prior to that she was still getting one bottle a night.
Could your daughter be over tired from no nap during the day? Do you have the TV on before she goes to bed? Studies have been done that state TV before bedtime is a stimulant, especially for children. Is she hungry? Is she starting to teeth? The other thing that worked for us is we use an airfilter in our daughters room as back ground noise. It ended up that she was a really light sleeper and any noise would wake her up.
I think every parent goes through this from time to time. You have to search and hunt until you find what works for you.
D.
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S.P.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
ok I went through the same thing with my first born. I'm understanding that you're breastfeeding. Does your child burp excessively/loud? If so, reflux may be a problem. Your child will need to see a pediatrician to get a prescription for this problem but clears rather quickly.
However, in my son's case, he was sleeping well up until he was 3 months old and then overnight things changed. He cried all the time. So I did what doctors tell you NOT to do until they're about 5-6 months old. Because breastmilk is so thin and sugary, babies tend to want to continuously feed and never seem to get enough.
Start feeding your baby rice cereal in a bottle with infant formula without the iron as baby will get constipated. You may want to pump and give the baby your own milk but add 4 spoonfuls of rice cereal somewhat of light/medium consistency as to fill his/her tummy. That worked for my son and I never had that problem again. Do this around 8-9 pm and child will mostly sleep through the night. It will take time for child to get back into the sleep all night routine but this will give you some shut-eye. Before doing this, however try to keep the baby alert throughout the day so as to tire him/her out before giving rice cereal/formula at night (only for the first night though). After first night, you can continue to give rice cereal for breakfast and night time only.
Also, try not to pick up baby/hold too much as they do tend to learn that if they cry they will get picked up. My daughter was spoiled this way. They're very intelligent!!
Good Luck
S. let me know how things go ____@____.com
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T.B.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
I hate to say this, but I had sleep issues with my 9 month old daughter up until a month ago... for various reasons. After all the visiting relatives was over (I felt I had to jump up out of bed to quiet her), I finally went to an adapted method of Ferberizing. Let the baby cry for a limited time before checking in on her. Extend the time as you go. (If you can check on them without them knowing it, even better.) It took about 3 nights, but the sleep since then has been worth it!
A few factors have helped: a bedtime routine. Bath, book, bottle, bed. I stopped breastfeeding a month ago, so now I know she has a full tummy after her bottle.
When I put her down, her crib has about 3 pacis in it. If she loses one, she can find another.
Definitely follow the two nap a day advice! My little one sleeps so much better at night when she's napped about 3-4 hours during the day. (She naps around 9:30am and 2pm.)
At the first sign of noise, wait... see if your little one can self soothe. Even now that my daughter has started sleeping through the night, she's had a few nights where she needed me. You'll know the difference.
Good luck!
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T.S.
answers from
Sarasota
on
Is she on any meds that would make her stay awake? I have gone through the same thing with my son for 3 years!!!!! I finally gave in and let him sleep with me. Now, I get sleep at least. Or we go and fall asleep with him in his bed, and then go back in with him when he wakes in the middle of the night. She won't be little forever, let her sleep with you.
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D.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
My 5month old girl has started waking up in the middle of the night again as well. She keeps rolling over in her sleep and losing the pacifier. She is also crankier during the day which I beleive is teething. I'm not sure what to do either.
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T.C.
answers from
Sarasota
on
B.,
I ran through that same problem with my lil daughter. I'm sure you don't want to hear this but she'll go back to her usual routine in due time. Mine just started sleeping in her crib all through the night again ( at 7 months). It's going to be very tiring and sometimes stressful. BUT one thing i would suggest to you. Wake your daughter up before her 4am feeding time. Lets say... you put her to bed at 9:00pm and then she wakes up at 4am and then back to bed again. Put her to bed at the usual time. Then wake her up around 11:00pm or midnight and play with her and then feed her. I did this with mine for a bit and well she sleeps for me.
Good luck in whatever you may do.
Tess
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G.N.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
B., I knooooow! I remember it so well. Mine are 3 and 4 now, so the intense sleep deprivation does end, but meanwhile, it is TORTURE.
I would strongly recommend the method called Ferberizing, named after the author Rick Frber. His book (newly updated) is Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition.
I have to confess that I did not read the book, but someone described the process to me, and at first I didn't do it because it seemed too harsh (!), but then got so desperate I tried it and it worked LIKE MAGIC! Not only that but I then later described it to a new mom, who also reported miraculous results. She was stunned. So based on these two outcomes, I would highly recommend it.
I just checked on amazon.com and it goes for about $10.
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E.
answers from
Miami
on
Have you watched the Nanny 911 show. If you haven't you should. If nothing is really wrong, it may just a battle of the wills game. She knows she can win. Yes they start learning what stings they can pull from the time they pop out of the belly. - As far as napping - I've kept alot of different peoples kids and worked at a nursery/daycare. What I have notice even if they refuse to nap they need one (regular time, every day) wheather they go to sleep or not. Put them down anyhow. even in daycares they do it for a reason. I found that they are nicer kids when they nap and are not as needy or whiny, cranky, in the afternoon and when time to go down at night. hope it gets better.
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R.G.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hey, Yes I did have the same problem. I dont know if the same things work for everyone but here is a few ideas. Make sure that you are not giving her alot of sugar based juices or caffeine. I know you are probally like your crazy but some parents actually do that. When my daugher korah would not go down for naps at first I just let her cry her self to sleep every time but when that cotinued I thought maybe she would feel better if she could hear my voice, so I tape recorded my voice saying shhhh, I love you, go to sleep, im right here , its ok, in a very soft voice. That did the trick beautifully. Hope this works and if not hang in there it wont last long.
~R.~
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M.B.
answers from
Miami
on
Sounds to like your baby might be teething. Are her gums swollen? She's probably super uncomfortable. I would talk to her pediatrician or better yet, bring her in and have her take a look to see if that's the problem. She might say it's o.k. to give her some tylenol before going to bed so that she doesn't have any pain. If that's not the problem, then try introducing her to a lovey (a doll or blanket) so that she doesn't feel like she's alone. I've had many sleep problems with my 18-month old and out of frustration I've tried the "ferber" method of letting her cry it out. It works about 50% of the time. Last night she woke up at about 3:00 a.m. and did not go back to sleep until about 4:30 - and of course, I couldn't go back to sleep until about 6:30! It's frustrating but it sounds like she's in pain. Also, why doesn't she nap during the day? I've always heard that babies who nap during the day are more relaxed and sleep better at night. Hope I have helped in some way!
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D.L.
answers from
Ocala
on
How early are you putting her to bed? That is my first question. I am thinking maybe she has her days and nights mixed up. Maybe try putting her to bed later and waking her at a decent time in the morning. My son did this when he first started crawling he had been sleeping all night, every night and all of the sudden he was up 5-7 times a night. I had to cut out his naps but you already did that so try putting her to bed later and getting her up earlier if she is not already awake and see if it helps. I sure hope it does! I have been there it is not fun at all. If it is an issue with being alone maybe try a radio in her room playing soothing, soft music on a low volume or even a clock. I was told they like the rythem of a clock because it resembles the mothers heart beat that the child was used to from being in the womb.
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N.W.
answers from
Orlando
on
Hi B.,
My two girls are grown up now, but we had to deal with some of the same problems with my grandsons. I found that a wind machine put on at naptime as well as bedtime helped tremendously. I found one in the Penney's catalog years ago, but I think you could find one at Baby's R Us or even a vacuum cleaner tape, which works also. Have you ever heard of that? I actually taped a vacuum cleaner running and played it on a tape player. Oddly enough it really soothed them. There are all kinds of sound machines available for babies.
Hope this helps.
N., otherwise known as Nana
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H.
answers from
Sarasota
on
You need to get your baby on a scedule, including naps at the same time everyday. If she cries when you lay her down, just let her cry it out. She needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. At this age she needs to be taking at least 2 naps a day. Don't think that she won't sleep at night if she is taking naps during the day.
I recomend reading the book "Baby Wise". It tells you how to establish a routine for your baby which helps her to sleep through the night. I followed this book and my babies were both sleeping through the night by 6 weeks. It has worked for many women I know. I hope it does for you!
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P.M.
answers from
Miami
on
There could be so many reasons for the change. Your baby could be teething, could be getting ready to master a milestone and needs more contact time, could just have realized you are not there and is lonely and scared without you. After all, five months out of you is barely half the time she had inside you. You are her source of all wonderful greatness and life. With you she knows her world is perfect and safe and all is right with her. Once you are out of smell and signt, well, she is not so sure anymore that she is okay. As far as she is concerned, the two of you are one. You don't mention if you ar still breastfeeding her, but if you are, it is very normal and expected for a baby to wake up to nurse at night, yes, even at 5 months. Breastmilk is digested in less than 2 hrs. So, how long a baby is willing to be without food in the tummy varies. Some are content for longer stretches than others. If you are breastfeeding, maybe your little one is preparing for a growth spurt.
I know it is very hard for many to understand, but the reality is human babies are human beings. Haha. Little mammals. And, like all little mammals, they like to sleep with the momma mammal. Our culture tells us this is wrong, but biology could care less about culture. We can teach a baby to do just about anything. We can find ways that are gentle and calm and help the baby to ignore the biology and conform to the culture. But, the biology remains the same. Mammal young sleep with mammal adults---usually the mother.
A style of helping a child learn to sleep without momma that is kind and gentle is in a book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.
Personally, I have 7 kiddos a couple who are adults already. I sleep with them until they are old enough to understand the words "Get in your own bed, momma needs some space". Haha. I have never ever dealt with night time terrors, fights when it is bed time, battles over routines, etc. I nurse all my nursers to sleep, I rock them, scratch their backs, cuddle them, etc. They drift off with the last memory being one of being cuddled safe and loved. They sleep beside me when I go to bed even if they start somewhere else (for some 'mom and dad' time, haha) I collect them, nurse them again, and then we drift off together. They wake a time or two (maybe more, I don't pay much attention) to nurse in the night, but they can manage to find it on their own, they don't cry, and I don't really fully waken. In the morning, I wake up to smiles and giggles. I never have to leave my bed to meet the needs of a baby, and honestly, if I had to, well, it would not be good for the baby as I need my rest. Looking back, I can honestly say I have no regrets about sleeping with our children. I wish I could scoop up my 19 year old daughter, rock her to sleep in my arms and be the source of all protection and goodness in her life. Unfortunately, they grow up...or fortunately depending on the day. Haha. The time they need us so intensely and completely is a blink and perspective can change everything.
I often wonder why we are so hung up on letting babies sleep with their mommas. It really seems so much easier all the way around. Baby is happy, momma is rested. I am not sure why the fuss over teaching a baby to sleep without an adult. Heck, I am an adult and I like to sleep with my husband. No one thinks I need to learn to sleep alone or self soothe. It seems okay for me to cuddle up to him and feel safe and loved at night, so if it makes me feel good to not be alone, I can imagine it makes a baby feel even better.
I know, I know, many do not believe in cosleeping, and that's okay, I am not on a mission to convert anyone to the cosleeping side. It works great for us and I could not even imagine having my baby sleep in a separate space from me.
You can read a lot about co sleeping safely and if the space you have is not safe...a water bed, a pillow top mattress,smoke or your partner smokes, if you are on any medication including meds for depression, etc. then maybe finding a way to make it as close to it as possible would do the trick. I know lots of mommas who like the cosleepers (they are little beds that attach to the big bed) or have the crib up close to the bed. Interesting to note that the new AAP guidelines for breastfeeding includes keeping the baby in close proximity to the mother.
B., trust your mother voice and listen carefully. Ignore the rules of our culture and just listen to yourself. You will always know the right answer when it comes from inside yourself. In the end, you live with the choices you make so if you 'feel' right about them, they will be right for you and you will have the sense that you are making the best choices for your family.
Happy Mothering,
P.
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C.J.
answers from
Lakeland
on
I personally do NOT believe in letting a baby cry it out. Babies cry because something isn't right (to them) and they need to know that you are going to be there to fix it and take care of them. But everyone has their own opinion. It sounds to me like it could be a couple of things. First, she could be teething. Try a little Baby Orajel on her gums. Second, it could be gas. Try giving her Mylicon. If you've introduced her to cereal or if she's breastfeeding and you've changed your diet, this is probably the cause. Third, she is overtired. She needs two long naps a day. Put her down at the same time everyday. Even if she doesn't sleep at first, make sure that she at least has two long periods of quiet time. Eventually she will learn to sleep during those periods of time. Routine is everything at that age. My grandmother suggested giving our daughter very weak chamomile tea for sleeplessness. We tried it once and it didn't really work, but it might for your little one. If you want to catch up on some sleep, I'd suggest co-sleeping. Everyone says it's a bad habit to get into, but you know what? They don't remember it. As long as you don't let it go on forever, you shouldn't worry about your child getting used to sleeping with you. Least you'll have gotten a little more sleep. Or just take naps with her if you aren't comfortable sleeping with your child. Any little bit of sleep helps. Hope this helps and good luck!
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J.W.
answers from
Sarasota
on
I am sure that this is normal and as long as you stick to your guns she will eventually give up and sleep on her own again. Unless you want to co-sleep/family-bed. I personally am not a fan of it, but a lot of people prefer it and it is completely up to the parents.
Also, you mentioned that she doesn't nap in the day. That can also be a problem. A baby her age should be taking 2-3 naps a day totalling 5 hours. (Parenting Magazine) Her body may be telling her she is tired and since she is not sleeping there is a chemical released in her brain (sorry I forget the name) that then keeps her up. Basically the brain is protecting her thinking it is unsafe to sleep. www.sleeplady.com
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A.
answers from
Sarasota
on
My son pretty much did the same thing, and you might need to go buy a bouncy chair that vibrates. That's the only thing that would work for us. We had a fisher price bouncy chair with a never ending vibrating option. Make sure the vibrations will not turn off after 10 min., as some do. I would place my son in the bouncy chair, turn on the vibrations and then bounce him lightly till he would fall asleep. I would also make sure he was strapped in...and then just leave him in that chair all night long (you might use up a lot of batteries, but it was worth it). He slept very well in it. I don't know if it will help you as much as it helped me, but it was a god-send for us! Good luck.
A.
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B.M.
answers from
Tampa
on
FEED HER RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME. PUT SOMETHING CLOSE TO HER SO SHE DOESN'T FEEL ALONE. SOMETIMES I WOULD SIT IN THE ROOM AND MAYBE PAT AND RUB HER BOTTOM UNTIL SHE WAS FAST ASLEEP. JUST YOU BEING IN THERE HELPS THEM FEEL SAFE. IF IT IS HER GUMS, YOU COULD USE ORAL GEL.
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E.T.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hello B.. I was wondering if you has started to feed your baby solids yet. My son is 4 months and i just started to give him cereal and stage 1 baby food because he was having the same problem. my ped. suggested this is what i should do. for the past 2 weeks since starting solids he has been fine. sometimes he will wake up once but he mostly sleeps straight through the night. i hope you can get some sleep. good luck. E.
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A.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
Well I am a mother of three, 7 years, 6 years, and 5 years old (I know, I am crazy). Anyway, One thing you might try is perhaps putting something of yours, like a shirt or little pillow, something with your scent on it in the crib with your baby. Maybe she just needs to smell as if your near to her. It might work, but I am no expert. And remember, it is okay to let them cry a little, it is good for them. Good luck!
A.
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K.H.
answers from
Tampa
on
I don't claim to be an expert, but I have had three kids. They all had their own unique sleep patterns, but overall I think my husband and I were blessed with baby's that pretty much slept through the night ok.
I would suggest that you really keep your baby active during the daytime in order that she will be tired at night. Then put her down at the same time each night, checking that she is ok, not wet, etc. If she wakes in the night, again check on her and then leave her alone after that. If she thinks that you will stay awake with her then she will continue her crying process nightly. It only takes letting her cry for a night or two til she will learn that she has to go to sleep. Also, place nice small stuffed animal favorite of hers or something like a small clock ticking in her bed. That will help her not to feel lonely.
Hope it works for you, it did for me.
Good luck!
PS I remember what it was like being a first time Mom too!
K.
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A.M.
answers from
Lakeland
on
If your routine hasnt changed and the child has... change the routine... I like the thought of more naps but i personaly cant function on naps... i have a chronic illness and need recuprative sleep. So when mine stopped sleeping i was scared to death. that is untill i learned how to sleep with them. either co sleeping in the same room with there beds butted up to mine or just them sleeping in our big bed. but i did solve this many times by sleeping in there room on the floor or a pallet on the floor infront of there door. I had a christmas candle in the room... the kind you use a night light bulb in.. it was on there dresser so they couldnt reach the outlet or the light,.. and it was a very soft light... there room is very baby proofed.. they could see me and touch me.. they were not in a crib past 6 months because i was afraid of them climbing out!!... the point is ... moms need sleep... and if the child is safe, diapers changed, and a satisfied tummy find a safe way to sleep... and the only place i find the word normal being usefull is as a setting on the dryer... we all must be the bestest mommies we can be... and that requires sleep!..
A.
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M.S.
answers from
Tampa
on
i was a first time mom at the age of 39 i had to let my son sleep with me, he slept a lot better, we also had to start feeding him cererl at bed time,at the age of three month, baby also need to nap at least 2 hours in the morning, and also 2 hours after noon,that is what we did with are son and it worked realy good, babys do get overly tired,and the want sleep well at night.
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J.L.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
She is probably teething.
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E.M.
answers from
Miami
on
B., most likely your daughter is cutting teeth. This would explain an increase in her desire to nurse and her need to be physically near you. I know this may be hard to hear, but this won't last forever. Typically, the first 6 months are the most demanding. You'll see her get less dependent on you in the next few months. In the meantime, is there a relative or friend that could come over to help with the baby for a few hours so you could get some uninterrupted sleep? If not, you may want to consider finding a Postpartum Doula, like myself. They typically charge an hourly rate. It is WELL worth the investment!
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E.P.
answers from
Sarasota
on
I had this problem with my youngest, most people don't agree, but at nap time, I would lay with him in my bed, then when he fell asleep, I carefully picked him up & put him in his crib. Same thing at night, I usually held him or laid him on the sofa next to me or between my legs until he was asleep for a 1/2 hr or so, then I would carefully put him in his crib. That lasted for a couple of weeks, then he slowly went back into routine. When he was 6 months old, we bought him a couch that lays out into a bed, then after he fell asleep on my lap in the living room for nap, I would lay him on his couch, which is also in the living room. Then when he woke, he would still see me & be ok. I hope everyone's advice helps out.
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A.V.
answers from
Panama City
on
Your baby is overtired. She should be getting 2 naps during the day and a full nights sleep. All in all about 12-15 hours. It is a common misconception that a child who doesn't nap will sleep better at night. The truth is actually the opposite. Remeber this--the more sleep they get, the more sleep they get. It might be a little difficult at first to get her back on a schedule, but it shouldn't take more than a week. Just put her down at the same time every day so she knows whats expected of her. And remember, just when you get everything down pat, something inevitably changes! Good luck.
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J.B.
answers from
Port St. Lucie
on
I have a baby girl who is just about 5 months old. I know that when she does not nap during the day, she will not sleep at night. Maybe you can try to get her to take a nap. My daughter will be up for about 5 hours, and than take a two hour nap. After she has had some cereal, try laying her down in your bed and give her a bottle, this usually works for Julia. If it does not, I put her in her swing and she will take a nap. It is strange though because all babies are different. I have three children, 7. 18 months, and 5 months.
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K.
answers from
Tampa
on
I have a 13 month old son who is a horrible sleeper. He began sleeping through the night at 4 months, but by five or six months was getting up regularly. With everyone telling you what to do, it can be not only exhausting, but frustrating. My first question would be is she teething? I know any little thing causes my son to give me problems, and teeth are one of them. Tylenole and nighttime oragel before bed seemed to help there. That can last a couple weeks sometimes. The most successful thing we have done is let him cry. It is the hardest, but most successful. As well as straining on a marriage. My son had bad reflux until about 10 months of age. So letting him cry early on made the reflux worse and we had to increase his medication, but I wish that I was able to do it earlier, because now he not only has difficulty putting himself to sleep, but has started with the seperation anxiety. If you are able to let her cry it out now at 5 months she may develope better sleeping habbits for more challenges that come later on, ie: teething, seperation anxiety, etc. The first few nights we started, my son cried for a good 30 min and was actually horse the next day. After about 5 days or so, he now falls asleep faster usually only crying 10 min at the most if any at all. Ultimately, every kid is different and you have to find out what works best for you and your daughter and do what you are most comfortable with. I have a lot of friends who have read some really good books about sleeping habits, you may want to try that for other alternatives. Good luck and I completely understand where you are coming from!!
K.
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M.
answers from
Miami
on
Hi B.,
Co sleeping would be a great way for both you and baby to get some sleep and will make baby feel more secure. My baby and I and husband sleep in the same bed and everyone is happy. This way you can just roll over and nurse her back to sleep with out getting out of bed. good luck !
M.
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J.M.
answers from
Atlanta
on
With a change like that I would want to get the baby to a pediatrician to see if something is going on like an ear infection, etc.
Good luck!
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J.P.
answers from
Boca Raton
on
I had the same problem with my son and still do sometimes. If your daughter is teething than that is what is causing her to stay up. My son now 14 months still stays up if his gums bother him. You can usually tell if she cries a lot or if she knaws on her fists, or anything she can knaw on. My pediatician tells me to give him the baby tylenol or moltrin and comfort him as much as possibile. When he don't feel good I let him sleep with me and my husband, that way at least I get some sleep.
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L.S.
answers from
Austin
on
Hi, I have a friend that had the same problem. Her doctor told her to let her baby cry, just go and check her to see nothing is wrong and come back to your bed. My friend's baby cried for 3 days, but after that, she never did it again. Hope this helps you :)
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N.
answers from
Miami
on
My BF baby did the same thing, although I don't think BFing had anything to do with it. I really believe it was teething. My daughter would always get extra clingy and breastfeed more when she was teething or not feeling well. Since she's 5mnths old, it's very possible that she's cutting some teeth, or they are pushing through the gums. You might not see the teeth right away, because the process can take a little while. But they still get uncomfortable from it.
Good Luck! Those rough nights can be really hard. Try co-sleeping in the meantime to make it a little easier. The side laying technique made it easier for both of us to get some sleep, when they weren't feeling well and wanted to be with mommy.
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J.S.
answers from
Jacksonville
on
B.,
My guess is that your daughter is OVER-tired. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but the fact that she's not napping may make it more difficult to fall asleep at night. At her age, she still can use at least one, if not more, naps a day. One book that helped me figure out the sleeping/scheduling was Baby Wise. I hope this helps.
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A.B.
answers from
Orlando
on
Hi B.,
My son did the same thing six months to the day after he was born. He was sleeping like a champ from 6 weeks on, but all of a sudden, it was back to square one. It took us over a month before we could figure out what was going on, but we think it is teething. For the past two weeks, right after he finishes his last meal of the day, while he's a little drowsy, we take a qtip and put orajel on his gums. Then we cuddle him a little and either put him down when he's almost asleep, or zonked out (i know they say this is bad, but i was going crazy myself after waking up in the middle of the night for nearly 2 months straight). now he sleeps right thru the night and very rarely wakes up. If he does wake up, 99% of the time, he'll cry for less than a minute and put himself back to sleep.
Hopefully this helps! They say teething pain is the worst at night for babies, so maybe that is what is happening to you. Sounds EXACTLY like my situation. GOOD LUCK!
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J.
answers from
Tampa
on
It is most likely teething but at that age my daughter was having a lot of gas pains from introducing solids. I scaled back on that and it seemed to help. My soulution to your predicament would not work for everyone, but we co-slept. The only way that that I can function and go to work is to get her back to sleep as quickly as possible.
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C.A.
answers from
Tampa
on
My daughter just started sleeping through night when she was 9 months old!!!! We used to cosleep until she was 6 months because this was the only way she would sleep at all. Then I moved her to her crib and she would get up to eat, pacifier, wet diaper...you name it she was waking up. I was a firm believer in not letting my baby cry it out! Finally, after 9 months of sleep deprivation I decided to let her cry and see what would happen (after 1st going in to check and make sure nothing was wrong)then I left the room. She cried for an hour and fell back asleep...she's been sleeping through the night ever since. I wish I would've done this earlier...I'm a far better mom now that I've gotten some rest! Also, my daugher has never been a napper! She gets maybe 2 30 minute naps a day. It's like she has a timer and knows because I swear 30 minutes on the dot and she's up and ready to go again! I'm definitely not complaining though I'll take the night sleeping over naps any day!
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S.
answers from
Lakeland
on
Hi,
My daughter had some of the same issues. She should be taking naps during the day, some say that an over tired baby will sleep better....I don't agree. My daughter slept better and went to sleep faster if she had taken a nap. Even if it's only 45 minutes.
Also, my daughter did not sleep as well if she was having a growth spurt, or teething. She got her first 2 teeth at 5 months. She sleeps better if she is full also. We always make sure she eats something before bedtime.
I hope this helps,
S.
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F.C.
answers from
Orlando
on
I was already surfing the internet and looked this up for you. I feel your pain, my last child did not know what bedtime was.
Establish a routine - A kiss good night or stroking the baby before sleep can calm the child, or bathing and cleaning the child before bed time. Make sure to repeat these patterns. Once the baby becomes familiar with this routine, they will know that it is time to sleep. Also, make sure the baby sleeps in the same place and in the same conditions as much as possible.
Try lullaby music - Lullaby music can calm the child as can white noise CD's. The sound of a vacuum cleaner is also known to have a soothing effect.
Make sure that the room temperature is not too hot or cold and that the baby is in a location that is away from any noi! se or distractions that may cause the baby to awaken.
Shorten nap time during the day - If the baby sleeps too much during the day, then he or she may not be able to sleep as well at night. When napping, keep the lights on and try not to give the baby any cues that it is bedtime by avoiding the night routine. No need to wake the child from napping, but if conditions are brighter and a bit noisier, then the baby will probably wake up on its own.
Rocking - Rocking and massaging the baby can relax the child and this may be good as prelude to sleeping through the night.
Read a story - Read a story or spend some time with the baby before bed, instead of just dropping the baby off in the crib and leaving. This extra time will allow the baby to transition into sleep.
Feeding - Make sure the baby is getting good nutrition. If you must feed the baby in the middle of the night, make sure to keep the lights dim so as to not disturb the baby's sense of time.
Make sure that it is quiet at night and that there is activity during the day. Babies need to learn the difference between night and day.
My suggestion if you haven't tried this, warm milk, driving around the neighborhood and the Johnson & Johnson Lavender scent baby bath, lotion or powder. Oh, and girls are so hard to either go to bed or stay sleep rather than boys who will fall asleep anywhere, that's my observation. If I find anything else, I will send it to you. Good Luck!
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R.
answers from
Tampa
on
"the more you sleep, the more you sleep" Exactly! Please take my advice and go to the library or book store and get "Goodnight Sleep Tight" by Kim West. Check out her website at SleepLady.com. I had the same problem for 8MONTHS with my third child and I tried everything and only until I breezed through her book did my son finally become normal! I mean there is always some bad night due to missed naps or teething or sickness but it should only be periodically. good luck.
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N.
answers from
Orlando
on
I had the same problem with my boy who is now 9 months. He would start only sleeping for about an hour or two in his crib and I would have to holdhim. Finally i figured it out that his gums were hurting at night because as soon as those teeth cut through the gums he went right back to his regular sleeping.But to get through it I would have to have him lay in my bed with me and I bought some Humphries #3.
Good Luck...I know how hard this is
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S.J.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi B.,
I have 6mo old twins and they are going through the same thing. Like some of the other moms said babies go through cycles of disruption in their sleep patterns. It can be teething, growing pains, etc. Have you started on solids yet? Try giving her some cereal in her last bottle of the night to keep her belly fuller. Also what I have been doing with my girls is I no longer pick them up when they wake in the middle of the night but I just give them a bottle in their crib and they usually just fall back asleep.
I hate this saying but "this too shall pass"
Good luck!
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M.S.
answers from
Sarasota
on
Co-sleeping saved my sanity with my two when they were little, but if you're not comfortable with it, I wouldn't do it. Also, it can be a bit difficult to get them into their own bed later. My son slept with us and in a bassinette beside our bed. When I finally had to move him into his crib at about six months (his head and feet were touching the top and bottom) he was fine, even happy. My daughter, however, screeched like crazy. So, I can't help you too much there, but I do have an idea I haven't seen posted here yet.
Once we finally got her in her own crib, and she was sleeping fine, she had some relapses. Sometimes it was teething, other times she was getting sick, sometimes she just wakes up because she's got a stuffy nose all the time, and it bothers her. But she went through a period where she was waking every night about the same time, and I finally figured out her legs were cold. My son had always been hot, and slept in just a onesy, and she was really sweaty when she was sleeping, too, so we just did the same with her. It was warm in the house, so it didn't occur to me until she was awake screaming one night, and I felt her icey little legs. I put her in a sleep sack, or put a pair of pants on her, and then was scared to death the next morning when I woke up after having had hours of undisturbed sleep! I ran in to check on her, and she was snoozing away. This worked until some other reason to wake at night popped up.
Now she doesn't wake when she's cold, she wakes when she's hot. I pull her blanket down and crank the a/c, and she sleeps better. All this rambling is just to say that it could be something as simple as being just a little too cold or warm. I hope you find a way to get some rest. It can really wreak havoc on you...visiting message boards and talking with other people going through the same thing helped me.
A baby swing. That put my son to sleep for naps. I just let him sleep there for short periods since he had GERD and it was worse when we laid him flat.
Oh yeah, and the best advice I ever got: Sleep when the baby sleeps! Like people said below,try to get her to take naps. If she goes down, take a nap yourself. I know there's so many things that could be done so much easier when the baby is asleep, but let it go for now. The second she falls asleep, any time of the day or night, lie down. This won't last forever, though it might seem like it, and you need any rest you can get much more than you need all the dishes or clothes washed right now. This was hard for me to make myself do at first, then I realised I felt much better when I did, and had much more patience when I needed it.
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C.T.
answers from
Tampa
on
Hi B.. My kids are already teenegers but I've taken care of my nephews & nieces and friends's babies till now. I have a girlfriend who calls me about potty training help. Anyway, I hope I can help you and you can get some sleep soon.
First thing I thought about is; could the baby be teething? Just something to think about. Any new foods?
Anyway, here are a few things that helped me with my kids.
Chamomille Tea, a warm bath before bed and when you dress her before you put her PJ's on, put a little Tee-shirt (or a onezy)in-side-out. I KNOW it sounds crazy (it's an old wives tale from my family) it worked for my daughter. Try it what do you have to loose except a sleepless night.
When you make the Tea don't steep it for too long you don't want it to be too strong and put very, very little sugar.Give it to her room temperature so it'a nice and warm in her tummy.
My kids still love a cup of tea, especially when they aren't feeling well. Keep me posted ____@____.com
Good luck, C.