I Need Some Help with Potty Training Issues

It looks to me she is doing it just because you keep telling her to poop in the potty. Maybe you can stop telling her about it for even weeks. Ignore the fact that she is ready to NOT use diapers and treat her as if she was 7 months old. Keep a diaper on her and she will ask you to go to the potty. Just LET HER ask instead of you or any relative/teacher telling her. Be patient, she will decide it on her own as soon as she realizes it is not a big deal for you anymore. (I hope it helps)

I haven't tried this one myself (although I came pretty close with one of my boys!), but one of my good friends swears by it. It was a last resort as they had been through your similar predicament. But they told their daughter that if she peed or pooped outside the toilet again, they wouldnot only make her clean it up ( by holding her hands in theirs as they cleaned it if necessary) but they would also take her in the backyard and hose her down with the garden hose ...no more warm bath and soft wipeys to clean her up (no matter the time of day or night). She challenged them on this only once and after that one follow through, their daughter was potty trained litterally over night!

My son is very similar. He wears underwear all day and pees in the toilet. He has no trouble with it, but he absolutely refuses to poop in the toilet. He does let me know that he has to go poop and then I have to put a diaper on him. He walks around and does a little dance while he is pooping. I can understand why he doesn't want to go on the toilet if he doesn't sit down at all. Others have tried to pressure me a little more to get him to poop on the potty. Once a babysitter even held him down on the toilet while he pooped. He fought her every step of the way and the next two days he pooped in his underwear. I figured he did that because he was afrain to be forced to sit on the toilet again. I've accepted that this is just where he is. I bring a diaper and wipes everywhere we go just in case he has to poop. I figure I'll bribe him in some way when he gets a little older. Sorry I can't be helpful. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

K.

Hi M.- I am sorry that I don't have any actual ideas for you but you may find comfort in knowing that your child sounds exactly like mine (and she is now potty trained!). You are doing all the right things. I know you probably feel frustrated and question what you are doing wrong. I felt the same way. My first born daughter was exactly like yours and she would pee every time I put her in timeout. She is very independent and she realized quickly that she had control over me with her bodily functions. I called my doctor in tears as I had been training for a year and just couldn't take it anymore. She recommended stopping for a minimum of 4 weeks and bring no attention to it. She said not to even talk about it on the phone with my mom or friends. She wanted the attention positive or negative so by totally ignoring it we took away that attention. We stopped for 6 weeks and during that time she started taking her pull up off herself and putting on a new one. Then we started talking about her birthday party and wouldn't it be cool to be wearing panties by the time she had a birthday party. This seemed to motivate her. But the bottom line with this kid was she had to decide for herself when she was ready. If I tried to force the issue (no matter how positive I was) it just didn't work with her. She had the control and knew it.

I know I am probably not helpful except for maybe sharing some empathy. Because our daughters personalities sound so similar it may be helpful to know that this could be a control issue and backing off may be better than trying more strategies.

I wish you the best of luck and Hang in there!

My first daughter did not get totally potty trained until she was almost 4 1/2... she would pee no problem, just not poop. When she was 3-ish, I tried so many things... positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, candy, prizes, seriously everything. And I got nothing... nothing to show for it, she was still pooping in her underwear/diaper. UNTIL she wanted something- she wanted to go to preschool. I told her that only little girls who peed AND pooped in the potty can go to preschool. That was December... preschool started in August. I was sweating it to get her totally potty trained by August too! She actually worked for 2 things... a fish tank and preschool.

But I say all that to really say this... is there something that YOUR daughter wants? Not you, but her? Something big? She's gotta buy into the whole idea of potty training or she won't do it.
And don't compare her to anyone else (no offense to PP)... your daughter is not the other child. Comparing your child to another child is just not a habit you want to get into.

My second daughter is following the same path as my first daughter. My DD#2 is 3 1/2 right now and just barely getting interested in potty training. I took what I learned from DD#1 and applied it now, and I've noticed that her interest has actually peaked earlier than #1 did... and I'm very happy about that!

Hi M.,

OMG this sounds all to familiar! It was like battle of the wills with my 3 year old. I do think that you have to go cold turkey with the diapers LOL Just get rid of them (I dont even recommend pull ups, they are a waste of $ and time). At Wal-Mart, or probably any clothing store, they sell extra thick underwear (in the baby section). I would also put those plastic panties over the thick panties for nights or if we were going any where. I remember the poop piles and it actually got worse sometimes with her deciding it was funny to smear it all over her toys and the carpet! UGH!!! I did find a solution to that... this may sound evil but I read it in a parenting magazine and it worked... every time she "played" with or intentionally left me a poop mess I would give her a quick cold shower to clean her off (it doesnt have to be ice cold just not comfortable for her). And I would explain to her that every time she makes a mess we have to wash her off in the cold shower. I took maybe 4 cold showers to change that yucky habit. Well I hope this helps you ;) Keep me posted

M.

Hi M.,
I want to offer words of encouragement! My husband and I successfully potty-trained two boys (now 2 and 4) before the age of three. 3 is a tough age, because little ones want to try breaking every rule you set for them, and sometimes the wierdest things become a battle (oy!)

My first was the most like yours, not wanting to poop in the toilet. I did not try reward; or poopy-dances; or talking or punishing. I read one article from a man who teaches/encourages old-fashioned parenting. He had a simple suggestion that took a little time and effort (and dedication) on my part, and it *worked.*

At my son's normal poo-times (immediately after breakfast and before his morning nap (after lunch), I'd sit him on the toddler potty-chair, I told him to not get up until there was a poop, then I'd leave the bathroom and close the door.

Walk away.

Oh yea, he cried for 45 minutes the first day! -- but he made a poop.

The second day he cried for 30 minutes. -- but he made a poop.

The third, fourth, fifth, and sixth days, he cried for 10 minutes.

The seventh day, he didn't cry at all, and left me a poop in 10 minutes.

But we kept up the routine for another month just to make sure.

Good luck!
t

This is one thing you cant control. Don't pressure her anymore. She knows she has the upper hand. Does she have an older friend that she absolutely loves, perhaps you can be subtle & say "Wow sarah can go potty all by herself she must be a big girl". Otherwise wait 4-6 months you may be pleasantly surprised when she comes to you & says she is ready or she just may start going all on her own.

I recently saw this blog post regarding potty training and found it helpful. My little guy is only 4months so I have awhile before venturing into potty training but thought I'd share: http://sweetdeals4moms.blogspot.com/2009/10/potty-trainin...

I have had TREMENDOUS success with an ebook called Potty Training in Three Days. You can find it at 3daypottytraining.com

This lady's system is VERY involved. It requires three days of you sitting with your child every second and anticipating when your child will need to go. I have passed it along to several friends and all of them have had excellent results. It might be worth a try? My little guy was day and night potty trained in just 2 and a half days with the system... and this was after MONTHS of failed attempts. Good luck!