I Need Help... My Little Sister 16 Wants to Drop Out of Highschool

Updated on April 16, 2007
V.S. asks from Richardson, TX
6 answers

She is looking me to for advice. She is an amazing cheerleader but didn't make the varsity squad for next year. The only thing that has kept her in school this long is of her love for cheering. The tryouts were rigged by the coach due to the fact that my sister is a transfer (this school is a better school then the one closest to her) and the coach truly doesn't like her. Lexy (my little sister) HATES high school and I know, “so does everyone else...” but lexy hates it as much as I did!
I didn't graduate and feel horrible about it. I didn't have my mom pushing me to stay in and when I was young, I felt that a high school diploma wasn't that important. Now that I'm older, I realize how important it is to stick with it and finish!
How do I get her to realize it's important to finish and get her to stick it out for two more years when I didn’t?
By the way, she feels she can just drop out and get a GED and be done with it. Lexy doesn't want to go to college.
I feel her ambitions will change as she grows older.

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So What Happened?

Lexy isn't going to school. I got her to go for the TASK or TASP testing but when I left to go back home, she didn't go the other two days.
My Mom wants to pull her out to have her take the GED but I researched that and you have to be 17. Lexy doesn't turn 17 until Sept.
She's talking about moving to Cali with her boyfriend. He had a rich aunt out there that wants him to work for her. His aunt has a new car, new job and a place to live out there for him. They are talking about marriage... GOD, when did this all happen? what am I going to do... she's so young, she has no idea what that will do to her life... do I really know what that will do to her life?

More Answers

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M.

answers from Dallas on

I know if this was me, the first thing I would say is "are you crazy??!!", but it might be best to try to have a conversation with Lexy, Try to understand exactly what she "hates" about school. Could she have a learning disability? Maybe she is not challenged enough? Listen to what she has to say without interruption. Validate her feelings, but also advise her that dropping out is not a great option. You do not say if she is under your care or not, but if she is and she decides to drop out, I would work with her on developing a success plan. Find out what her goals and aspirations are. Then help her find out what she needs to do to obtain those goals. Give her a deadline for obtaining her GED, then when that is done, give her a deadline for finding a job.
Also telling her honestly how you feel about dropping out might help. Try telling her to take things day by day. See if she would be willing to at least finish this semester and re-evaluate after this sememster. Maybe there is another fun thing she would like to do as an alternative to cheering? Maybe gymnastics or some kind of dance class. Maybe you could tell her if she stays in school, you will help her get involved in another activity of her choice.
Good luck this is a hard situation!

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Valeria,
There are two ways to talk to her about it. First if she wants a GED, there isn't anything wrong with that. My brother dropped out, and with in 5 years got his GED, enrolled in Community Collage, then a 4 year school and now has his BA in Enginering. But for your sister, depending on why she wants to leave is it that she is ready to work, struggles, can't do the work? I put some links below to look at salaries of different jobs. Also a link for the AD concil on helping kids stay in school. Good luck. What a good sister to care and try to help!

http://www.adcouncil.org/default.aspx?id=34
http://www.payscale.com/?src=ov40
http://web.info.com/infocom.us2/search/web/salary?CMP=321...

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R.F.

answers from Dallas on

Is there a good counselor at school that she can talk to to encourage her to stay?

Have her look at job boards (like Monster.com) and have her see how many jobs require AT LEAST a high school diploma, and how little they pay. Ask her the type of lifestyle she expects/wants in life, and see if $10.00 an hour will pay for it. Create a sample budget and show her how much groceries, rent, car payments and insurance is. Don't even include entertainment, since that will be out of the question!

Is there an off-campus activity that she can get involved with to cheer? Or, a dance/gymnastics class that can keep her skills active for trying out again next year? If she enjoys an activity outside of school, make the participation contingent on staying in school.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Talk to her about what a mistake you think it was for you to drop out. Tell her how you think your life would have been easier/better if you had stuck with it. Let her know the things you had difficulty with... getting a job, going to school (when/if you decided to). Tell her she can cheer in college, really try to play up the things she enjoys.

Good luck!!

-A.

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

V.,

There are a lot of options and it would be helpful for your sister to know what they are. When my sister was dealing with her boys hating school and not wanting to finish, she spent so much time talking to their counselors (different boys and different years, but same issues about school). She really didn't get much help and they ended up dropping out anyway. My oldest nephew got his GED and went on to a technical school. My other nephew came to live with us and finished his high school through a distance learning program. He went on to college and was getting a 4.0 (he's still going).

Finishing her education is essential as you have learned yourself. Fortunately there are many ways you can achieve that.

I have a 16 year old daughter who was a competitive gymnast for many years. A lot of her friends have gone on to be cheerleaders. We have homeschooled for the past 9 years. Where does your sister go to school?

If you have any questions or want more information about various options, feel free to contact me privately.

M.

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D.T.

answers from Dallas on

V. - Please tell you sister to check out Drill Team. I know of several really good cheerleaders who didn't make the squad and went on to Drill Team. They have all said that it changed their lives. Actually not making cheerleader was the best thing that happened to them. Drill Team is so much more fun and fulfilling. Most squads in the area will have tryouts the first week of May. She should check with the varsity director at her school to see if she can tryout. I did both cheer and drill. I can tell you hands down that drill was much more fun. Aside from that, her diploma is the most important thing for her. I hope that she wants to continue on to college. There are scholarships now for dance/drill at most colleges. I'm sure you know that 16 is not anywhere near old enough to be making such big decisions, like dropping out, by herself. No one should drop out of high school. At 16, she's almost finished. All those other years would have been wasted. Please encourage her to check out Drill and to stay in school. She'll be glad she did.

D.

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