This is a synopsis of the conversation with my 5 year old daughter when she was picked up today:
Apparently she has been playing more with this one boy that is really nice and she likes. Well today another boy joined in and said that he likes her but he makes fun of her and the other boy when they are platying. She doesn't like the other boy because he always makes fun of her.
What a precursor to the future years <sigh> I'm glad at this age she can talk to be about this stuff and ask advice. My goal is to hopefully keep those lines of comminucation open so that she knows she can ask as she gets older.
My question is: How many moms out there have teenage or older kids that can still talk to them about anything? Was your relationship always like that or did it change and develop like that?
lol. I remember those days. So innoscent, so sweet...<sigh> when kids hit the double digits, they change. Maybe it's because they are going through puberty or something. I'm a young mom, and my daughter and I have never had a bad relationship. Even as a younger teen, she always told me all of the latest drama and gossip. She just changed in some ways when she turned about 15. Girls are sneaky. But now that she's 17, she's her normal self.
Mine tell me almost everything now. They tell my husband nothing because he blames them.
Good job mom!! Yes, I have a 17 yr old and open communication has been wide open in my house since she was born.
She does talk to me about everything. We did go through a normal stage where I could say the sky is blue and she'd swear it was not around age 13-14 but other than that I am an SO very thankful for my relationship with my daughter. You wouldn't believe some of the things she shares with me... I asked her not too long ago why she was never around a particular girl she used to hang out with... she said "Mom, she started drinking and smoking weed and I am not into that".
I do my best to keep my opinion to myself and not take sides because you badmouth the girl or boy who just hurt your baby and rest assured, they are best friends tomorrow.
Keep it up mom!!
I had and have this with my boys, too, even now that they are grown up now. At about 2nd or 3rd grade age I realized that if I listen to the small things they will tell me the big things. There will be some ebb and flow to this...the teenage years may be more silent than you are used to... but by listening you are creating a safe space for her to continue to come to you with what she likes, dislikes and what hurts her. What a treasure for a mom and a real gift to your little girl.
I have two kids - 14 & 17; I have always had great relationships with both. However, when my daughter hit the teen years, I suddenly was no longer needed. It was as if she changed overnight - doesn't really talk to me about personal stuff; she didn't even tell me about getting her first period; seems she's only nice to me when she needs/wants something. I've told her many times how she has hurt me and it doesn't seem to phase her. I just keep praying it's a phase and we'll be best friends when she's an adult; if I survive!
As for my son who is 17 - we still have a great relationship; and no, he's not a mama's boy. He and I can talk about everything. If he gets a little snippy with me, I'll tell him about it and he'll apologize for his bahavior. His whole attitude is totally different than my daughter's. It's as if they were raised in two different houses! I've always treated them the same, etc. so I'm not sure why so different.
I hope your relationship continues to be a good one!!
Good luck!!
I have 2 boys, 10 and 12 and I am amazed at the things they tell me. They have always been this way but only with me, not their Dad. They love their Dad but I don't think he wants to talk about "all the details". I think that closeness starts early and, yes, just don't be judgmental and I think it will continue. You are blessed!
