I Just Want to Sleep Again?????

Try giving him some rice cereal that will help to keep him feeling full longer. If he will take a bottle you can just mix it with the milk you may have to make the holes in the bottle a little bigger but is should help.

And why are you breast-feeding an 18 month old?????

My son went through a similar thing. He would nurse himself to sleep and then wanted Mommy when he woke. We did 2 things, not sure which actually worked. Maybe neither, you never can tell with kids, right?

First, I left a sippy cup with water in his room where he could reach it. (Not in his crib.) He didn't always get it, so we knew that he wasn't waking up thirsty.

Second, we did the Ferber sleep method. This used to be know as "cry it out" but its been recently updated to a gradual "cry it out". Basically you let him cry for a set period of time each night gradually increasing the time. The first night, IIRC was 5 minutes the first time, 10 the second crying bout that night and 15 tops for the rest of the night. Night two you start with 10 and increase by 5, etc.

They say most children don't go past 30 minutes but we had a few nights that he did. But now he pretty much sleeps through the night. And when he wakes he can put himself back to sleep. We haven't left him a sippy cup in months, but now that he has the cold/ cough that's going around, we probably should.

Try looking at Sleeplady.com Alot of good ideas there.
:) K.

Hi B.. I'm a mom of two, who had two other sisters who had become mom's prior to me. Both had used the book, "On Becoming Baby Wise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep" by Gary Ezzo (Author). Gary Ezzo's approach is quite simple and effective. We had more trouble with our son than our daughter, because he was a heftier eater than she was. With his approach our daughter was sleeping from 11 pm to 5:30 am by the time she was 5-1/2 weeks old. Our son took a bit longer. He was approximately 10 or 11 weeks old when he finally reached that nice span of sleep. They both progressed well after that and have been good night time sleepers! Our daughter is now 5 and our son is 2. My sisters both had extrodinary results using the methods in this book. Best of luck to you and may you find sweet dreams soon!!
Note: You may have to add a touch of formula at night to your babies last feeding of breastmilk (it just takes more for some babies to fill up and rest well).

I would try a little healthy snack before bed time. My little one luckily has been sleeping through the night since he was 13 weeks old. But once he was up moving around he needed a little extra snack. Now we just have trouble getting him to stay in his bed and not come into our bed in the middle of the night. Best of luck

Have you ruled out any medical reasons for waking, like acid reflux or allergies? My son (2 1/2 now) was waking up multiple times at night wanting to nurse. I had so many people tell me to wean him or let him cry it out, but we eventually discovered that he had a milk allergy that was giving him stomach pains at night and he was nursing to try to soothe the pain. I'm so glad I didn't just let him CIO because we might not have figured out what the real cause was.

Read a book called 'On Becoming Babywise' by Ezzo. It's the sleep bible for babies. Summary: You as the parent have to teach your little one what a schedule is. Your son doesn't need to eat at night to survive. He's old and big enough and has been for a long time. You need to gradually wean him off of night feedings and go longer and longer between feedings. If he cries, you let him cry. Once you teach him a schedule, he'll understand that he doesn't need to eat at night. We did this with my premature son, and he was sleeping through the night at 10 weeks. I also was told to read this book by about 10 other mothers I know. It works. You just have to follow the advice. The other mother is right. Your baby probably isn't getting enough for many reasons. When you nurse too often (9-10 times a night is way too often), your baby actually isn't getting any hind milk (the fatty part he needs) because he's not nursing for long enough periods. When nursing, even very young babies should go 2.5-3 hrs between feedings, and then they eat WELL when it's time to eat and get enough hink milk to sustain them. So if you do continue nursing (they don't recommend it much after 1 because you lose the benefit of nursing), then make sure your babies nursing properly at proper intervals. I hope this helps!

Does he have a steady nap schedule? I know it's hard with carting the others all around, but it may help. He may just be over-tired and unable to soothe himself to sleep, so he requires the breast to fall back asleep once he has "roused" from a deeper sleep.

The most valuable book I ever read was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It's a tough read at times, but the bottom line is "Sleep begets sleep". If you give your child a set nap schedule and bedtime (and adhere to it most days), they will be more rested and may fall asleep more easily at night. Plus, if you always "reward" his crying by getting/nursing him, you are only reinforcing the unwanted behavior.

My sister-in-law swears by the rice cereal and slit nipple approach. She used it on her now 17 year old when he was just an infant! I never gave it a try, because we had a set nap schedule from early on, and it works wonders.

Good luck!

Hi B.!

I'm also the mother of 5 with 4 years and 3 months between my two youngest! I'm a WAHM and run a successful home-based business doing home parties for adult women only.

My youngest also used to wake up frequently at night - but I stopped nursing him at 7 months. I've found that a little snack of crackers or something like that (nothing that'll give him gas) and warm milk helps.

--M.
www.SlumberPartiesbyMariaElena.com

I understand where you are coming from. I have 6 kids. I have breastfed 5 of them. One had a cleft palate and was unable to latch on. In our house we look forward to what we call "horizontal time" You don't always get to sleep but if you can at least be horizontal then that helps. I know you know this every kid is different. My fifth was by far the most high need. I nursed her significantly longer than the rest. I weaned her at 3 1/2 yrs. I never thought I would nurse that long but she needed it. It helped to remember that the rest of the world nurses for much longer than we do hear in the States. There are benefits to nursing past a year or two. I was pregnant with my 6th when I weaned her and did not want to tandem nurse and I did want to sleep through the night uninterupted. What it came down to is that I got more sleep by letting her continue to nurse. I would just try telling her no first and just snuggling her back to sleep if that didn't work then I would let her nurse. I also had my husband do more of her bedtime ritual and try to comfort her at night more. If you are not going to let him keep nursing then you will still have to keep parenting at night until he no longer needs it. A good book for encouraging extra sleep is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Pantley. This to will pass like all other phases.

Hi B.. Does your son nap well during the day? I don't know if this will help but I also have an 18 month old daughter who is a night nurser and just this last week we had a little bit of a breakthrough. At nap time I've started letting her put herself to sleep. I'll stay with her about 5 minutes and then tell her "Mommy has to go vacume" or whatever and tell her I'll be back to check on her but she needs to go to sleep. Without fail she has laid down and gone to sleep without even a whimper..... go figure! This translates to bedtime because she's learning to put herself to sleep so when she wakes up at night she is more likely to not need me.

Another thing that I am starting is when she wakes up at night and wants to nurse I tell her we can't nurse till the sun come up and just lay with her. I have a friend who had a lot of success with this as well. I know you've stopped nursing but maybe come up with something that you always tell him when he wakes up. They understand so much maybe it will work.

I know how tired you are. My daughter also is up countless times and I have a three year old as well.
Hang in there!
Amy

Try reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night By Elizabeth Pantley. I read this book before my baby was born and she had some wonderful ideas on helping babies to sleep--without using the "cry it out" method. She was actually in a similar situation when she wrote the book. Her advice will take a few days/weeks to implement, but she has a large following of mamas that swear by her method.

When my daughter was 18 months, she still wanted to breast feed at night. So I started giving her a glass of water every time she woke up. I'll bet your little guy is not really hungry, but nursing is a way to get YOU. If you think he really is hungry, it would be better to schedule an extra snack during the day or later in the evening. Try the water. My daughter stopped waking up within a week. S. s

This is a tough one for so many. And it really depends on mom and baby. I have four, and with my youngest two we actually let them "cry it out" when they were at an age that we knew they did not need to eat at night anymore. My son cried a few times a night for about 1/2 hour (which felt like eternity) for about 2 weeks. Then he stopped. And he slept through the night from then on! We were amazed.

So, with my baby daughter we did the same thing. She only had maybe four nights of crying for 1 hour. I did go in and lay her down, cover her and give her a paci, but I think that was more for me than her.

Leaving your baby to cry when every ounce of who you are wants you to go and help is the hardest thing to do. BUT, when you and the kids are sleeping through the night you realize how worth it it was.

Good luck, you are not alone!

A.

I agree - definately no more night feedings! We learned the hard way, too. My son didn't sleep until he was almost 13 months old, and by then - I was LITERALLY a basket case from sleep deprivation for an entire year, so I can only imagine how you feel! I also made sure that NIGHT time was DARK (blinds shut, no lights other than VERY small nightlight, etc. and that DAYTIME was BRIGHT, just to help enforce that dark = sleep, bright = awake. Letting him cry was HARD and KILLED me at first (he'd cry for over an HOUR initially, but he wore himself out eventually and would fall back asleep). It took our son almost a month to get on a "schedule", but once he did, he started sleeping through the night every now and then, until it became more and more frequent, and then - FINALLY, it happened ALL THE TIME. If only someone had warned me so I could have learned sooner, like what you're going through! But hang in there, if you stick to your schedule, your little one will come around and you'll start getting sleep again! Good luck!

You poor thing. Nine times a night at 18 months? How are you still alive? If I were you I would definitely not feed him at night. Just make sure he eats during the day according to AAP guidelines and then just know he doesn't need to eat at night. I think routine makes the biggest difference in helping your baby sleep through the night. I would try to find something to replace the closeness with nursing, like a slinky blanket. Even if he doesn't particularly care for it, I would just make it part of the routine. You could try a bath after dinner, story time, rocking him and singing and then putting him to bed. If he wakes in the night I would just let him cry for a bit. If you feel like you need to go to him, I would try to sooth him from his crib and not pick him up, rub his back, stroke his head or something like that. I think the key is routine and consistency in how you deal with him. It takes a few days to get a routine down but stick to your guns, it is so worth it in the end. Then he just knows what to expect. Kids wake up for so many reasons. They may have a cold and can't breath through the congestion. They may not be warm enough in their crib. Maybe they need warmer jammies or the heat needs to be turned up. But if they are warm, fed and tired, they just need to be left to sleep. At 18 months, they can get scared too. I've found that if my 13 month old son doesn't sleep enough during the day that he'll wake up with night terrors at night. And crying from a night terror is not a type of crying you can ignore. It is more screaming than crying and it is blood-curdling.
My biggest suggestion is that if he is nursing but it seems like he can't get enough, it is probably because he isn't. I would just give him whole cow's milk during the day but not too much(approx. 16-20 ounces). I think that at this age, kids get most of their nutrition from solid food and nursing is more of a comforting thing, something you do right when they wake up to say good morning, or before they go to bed at night to be close before they go to sleep. But as far as nutrition goes and hunger, he should be eating 3 meals and 2 snacks a day and not eating in the middle of the night. At this stage of development your son is growing in ways other than weight. In the first year it seems like it is all about putting on weight. But at 18 months, the big things are walking and talking and playing, not eating.

I quit nursing at night when my son was 9 months, when the doctor told me to quit doing it. i wanted to do it, in my heart, but needed her to tell me to quit it. i think he woke up a little but when i didn't go to him, he went back to sleep.

granted my son was a lot younger than 18 months, but i've come to believe that if you leave them alone they will fall back asleep. because again at 18 months we had to do the same thing again because he was waking up in the middle of the night and not going back to sleep even with massive amounts of rocking and holding. conclusion -- rocking and holding weren't helping him sleep, he needed to just lie down and sleep. easier said than done, but we encouraged him to learn how to do that by not picking him up. we would lay on the floor next to his crib and get up at 5, 10, 15 minutes to lay him back down. after a few nights (literally 3 nights) or so, he finally got it and would lay down and sleep through the night. SWEET RELIEF! Good luck.

"Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy."
-Robert A. Heinlein

I hate to say it, but there are just quirks to every child... My daughter who is now eleven slept through the night by three months. My son who is now 5 didn't sleep through the night until he was three years old. My mother said it best--- It is the hardest job you will ever love.

Truly, kids are just like people, only smaller. With five little critters I'm sure you understand the value of teaching them that you are not their slave, you are their mother. 18 months is perfectly fine to stop nursing. The milk starts to tastes bitter/odd by then to encourage them to wean themselves anyway.

Your son just doesn't sleep well on his own. He's the baby of five! He has found his lever and his particular attention from Mom. Never, ever underestimate children's perceptiveness, and ability to gain what they want from what they perceive. They are far more aware and responsive to subtle cues of behavior than most adults give them credit. Just because they cannot "reason" yet does not mean they cannot manipulate.

He's old enough to try to reason with him. He may not understand what you are trying to convey just yet. The words and ideas will stick in his memory until he is capable of understanding them. That is how my daughter is a shining example of the fact that the diagnosis 'opposition defiant' is not the absolute indicator for a lifetime of misery.

Despite your maternal instinct kicking and screaming at you, let him solve it on his own. Go in. Kiss him. Hug him. Tell him you are always there. Tell him he is safe, and you love him, but he needs to sleep by himself....

And go back to bed!! Remember it your job to raise them strong and independent, as well as loved and nourished.

If you want to know some of my 'mommy story', and why I feel as though I have diddley-squat of value to say on the issue...

My darling daughter, though early in sleeping through the night was so challenging in terms of her behavior even the doctors were stumped. Diagnoses: ADHD, oppositional defiant, bipolar, and characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome. Translation: 10 straight years of screaming 4-8 hour meltdowns 4-5 nights a week, and very, very intensive 'Mommy and Daddy playing early intervention occupational, and cognitive therapist'. Yarg!!!

But in the end, it worked. The reasoning with her as a person, even though she didn't comprehend it yet, finally just clicked and everything fell into place. A decade of hellishness has been amply rewarded with a formidable, interesting, reasonably well adjusted, and extremely talented young woman I am deeply proud to introduce as our daughter.

It's really strange the way that works with kids. *poof* Suddenly it's all fine. My nephew that I watch several days a week was so behaviorally challenging my neighbors asked me if I got medication with the job. Just like my daughter, *poof* one day he just comprehended everything that had been said but seemingly ignored, and has been easy ever since.

My son... weeeellll. There is a reason we nicknamed him the 'biological trap'. Despite his determination to not let me sleep for three years, behaviorally, the child is disturbingly easy. You know that bizarre child that is so cute, charming and perfectly well behaved even at 2 and 3 that even the most resistant to having children want to have kids? That would be my son. Mind you, he took apart the screen door, screws and all, at 2 1/2 because he wanted to go outside. I sat and watched out of amusement, and pride... He's not all THAT easy to handle with his delightfully creepy intelligence, sweet or not. Still waiting for the guys in matching suits to show up because my son is hacking into some government agency when I think he's playing Sesame Street Preschool. :) Sooooo not kidding....

Why are you breast feeding an 18 month old? My son, now nine, was bottle feed and slept through the night @ five weeks old. My daughter age 5, bottle feed, slept through the night @ six weeks old. BOTH of them were off the bottle @ a year! Most 18 month old's are eating people food, is your's? If you are feeding him enough through out the day, he should not be hungry there for he is just pacifing himself. I think need to let the toddler cry, he will eventually get that you are not going to get up a stick your boob in his mouth!!!!! Then you will be able to get some sleep!!!! You are not dealing with a newborn!!!!

My first son had a similar problem, but he was just thirsty. I left him a bottle of water in his crib that he could get access to, and after that if he was still fussing it was because it was just a habit that I had allowed for too long and I had to let him cry it out. Hope this helps. Also maybe try a solid bedtime routine of a bath and a story, some rocking and then bed. If you do this consistentely enough, your little one will get re-programmed in regards to bed time and may start drifting off at bed time by himself eventually.

Have you thought about FEEDING him people food? the boy is hungry.

First of all it is discouraged everywhere not to feed cereal out of bottles in fact I don't know of any day care that will feed cereal to their students out of a bottle because it hinders development of good eating habits so I have to say disregard that advise but do try to feed cereal from a spoon before bedtime-the suggestions of trying to make sure your son is full before bed with something that will stick to his ribs for the night will be very instrumental in solving your problem.

I have a 6 month old that is not lacking in diet at all eating 2.5 oz of cereal for breakfast and lunch, ~2 tbsp. fruit with breakfast, 2.5 oz fruit mid morning snack, ~2 tbsp. veggie with lunch cereal, and either 2.5 oz cereal or 2 tbsp meat with 2-4 tbsp veggie for dinner. She also has 4 bottles a day from 2-5 oz at a time, nurses for ~10 min in morning before school and again before bed until last night she nursed before dinner and let me tell you why.

I am also a suffer of sleepless nights despite my daughters hardy appetite during they day, she still would wake every 2-3 hrs to nurse and if I let her sleep through a dinner she awoke every hour. I always wake her for dinner now-no skipping.

Night before last, taking her nurses comments to heart, I stop nursing her after her bedtime feeding. When she got up in the middle of the night I tried to force a bottle with warm water and her binky on her. I explained to her that "mommy is not a binky (pacifier) and that she can't be hungry" and that "if [she] was thirsty [she] could have water". She had me up for 2 hrs before giving in and going back to sleep in my arms without nursing. Last night she was hard to awake for dinner so I nursed her before her meal and then instead of sitting down to nurse at bed time, I got a bottle of water and the binky and did the same thing. Rocking her to sleep (without her using me as a binky-security instrument). She slept for 8 hours for the first time. I hope we can repeat this tonight and am glad I have not had to resort to the cio technique yet-although she does give me an attitude trying to get me to give in. But between her dad and I she was destined to be one stubborn and persistent child. Hopefully I will continue to prevail.

Please B., do not do Babywise as another has mom has suggested. Gary Ezzo is NOT a doctor, nor professionally trained in child development, medicine, or breastfeeding. To make matters worse, "Ezzo babies" are associated with failure to thrive. Babywise is the only program that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against. See http://naturalchristianparenting.com/2008/03/08/beware-of... for more information.
I would suggest reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. from your library. Tons of great advice and even a section of advice on common problems. And good for you for nursing him so long. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about that!