I Have Baby Fever Really Bad, Help!!

Do you want to borrow my hyper active niece? That's enough to stop me from wanting anymore! I love her to death, but am so grateful for my 3 that I'm good to go! I love to hold other people's babies and spoil them, but give them back. And keep in mind, the baby fever that you have will come and go with a new baby. That baby will also outgrow the stages you (and all of us) love so much.

I think it's very smart of you and hubby to come to this decision together. Kids are a lot of work, but a lot of love. If another baby isn't in the cards for you, I hope you can find a way to be okay. I know how hard it is to want one and not be able to have one. Maybe babysitt for friends with babies, or as friends have babies just spend time with them.

Picture you life raising three children on your own and your husband out of the picture. Then appreciate the life you already have with a good man that loves and supports his wife and children that allows you to stay home and be a good wife and mother.

You could also volunteer at the Children's hospital or a homeless shelter in your area.

Blessings.....

I know three women that both wanted girls after having boys too. Two of them have four boys and another has five boys and no girls. Offer to babysit for infants after both of yours are in school.

Wait 6 months.

That's the only way for the hormones to ease off so you'll know if you ACTUALLY want to add a child to your family, or if its just baby cravings.

Hint: if you CAN'T wait 6 months... Its just cravings & hormones.

Get a puppy.

Dead serious. Not a dog, a brand new, not housebroken, cries all mught, needs walks every 30 seconds (okay, minutes), 8 week old puppy that needs 24/7 care (but that you can kennel when you need a break... Unlike a kid!).

I can't believe how insensitive some of these responses are! How can someone think that a puppy could replace a child?????? I'm in a very similar situation. My son is 6 and in Kindergarten, and my daughter is 3 and starting preschool in the fall.

The best advice I've gotten regarding having a 3rd child came from a blog post I read a few months back. Ask yourself this: In 5 years, will I regret not at least trying? My answer was an instant YES!

My husband feels the same way, but we have some hurdles that we're having a hard time overcoming. We already have all the clothes for a boy and girl, we have all the toys, carseats, crib, everything like that. However, we'd need the money for our home birth (insurance is way behind on covering things like that, and I won't birth in a hospital unless absolutely medically necessary), and we'd need to seriously consider a bigger car (fitting 3 car seats across the back of our Escape is challenging when everyone's in the 5pt harness, let alone 2 in seat belts). Those are two HUGE expenses that we're having a hard time finding a way around.

Absolutely we would if given the opportunity, but the other thing holding us back a little is the fact that even if we get pregnant today, I'd be 36, and he'd be almost 39 when the baby is born, and that's not something we're sure we want. If I were 30, I'd probably be pregnant by now :D

Good luck with your decision, but I suggest you pose that question to your husband about how he'll feel in 5 years if you don't at least try. He may surprise himself and say that yes, he'd regret it. However, be prepared if his answer is a quick resounding no.

Please know this is a decision between you AND hubby. If one of you are negative towards having more the answer is NO. Many divorces occur when a woman wants more children and " accidently" concieves. Men are not that stupid.

Your husband is working hard to provide for your family. If he starts stressing about more children, which requires more $$$ which does not take into consideration of college funds, retirement finds, etc... Imagine that pressure!!!

I know many moms mourn that baby stage. Go volunteer at your child's school, the children's hospital, a maternity ward at your local hospital, women's shelter, etc

I feel for you. I knew I was done with one and 18 yrs later I continue to have no regrets.

Have a good conversation with hubby... Don't be confrontational, emotional or what he'd call irrational. Listen to what HE says.

You can't guarantee a girl! Maybe fostering or adopting in in your future if you are on the same page as hubby.

Awwww...You don't want another baby. You want a little girl. You will find yourself happy with your third little boy or even your new little girl until it is time for them to start pre-k or kindergarten then you will have "baby fever" all over again. I think what you ultimately want is something in addition to your wife and mom duties. Something that is all your own that you can be further fulfilled by. What is it? Seek that instead. Embark on that journey and see how you feel. I don't think 30 is old so it really won't hurt you to hold of for another year or two while you do something else.

Get a puppy or kitten or another animal, something to fill the void for now. It will divert your mind into other responsibilities. Borrow a baby from a friend if you can. LOL There are mothers out there that would love to have a break for a day, a night or even a weekend. I had three boys and I wouldn't trade them for the world but I became a single mom early and I never had family to help me out. I resorted to Big Brothers/Big Sisters that is a great organization but bad came out of it for us. Luckily for me they were all boys and they were able to share one big master bedroom. It worked out great too but at times it seemed three was a crowd. Someone always had to bring a friend to offset and balance the situation. I hope this helps give you ideas as to how you can somewhat overcome your feelings.

Have you considered watching a baby during the day as a way to calm your baby fever and bring in some money?

Have you considered becoming a foster parent?

Get a puppy?

If it is just that you want to be able to buy the cute clothes and such, you can do what I do. I work with a non profit group called Soldier's Angels. We have a group called Operation Top Knot. We provide 'snail mail showers' for expecting military moms. Sometimes there husbands are still states-side. Most of the time they are deployed. Right now I am staring at 3 piles of clothes for boys and girls that I need to send out to unexpecting moms-to-be. :)

http://soldiersangels.org/top-knot.html

I feel badly for you that you've felt like this for a year already, but I would say to give it some more time. Being that you are only 30, you have plenty of that! If you and your husband (which I think it is GREAT that you are being patient with him... he will be much more receptive to you since you are that way :) decide to have another, it will be at the right time and then you'll feel much better about it.
Having 3 is a lot different that 2, but ours are real close together (5, 3, 1), and we are having a 4th even closer together.... sometimes you don't have as much control over the planning as you think! Good luck!

Give him time and space. You have lots of time. It took my hubby and me a long time to get on the same page with a third. When I'd be sure I wanted one, he wouldn't, so I'd convince myself otherwise, then he'd want one.

I'm sorry. I was so depressed for a long time with baby fever, but I hung in there and just had my third! Give it some more time.

My two boys are the same ages as yours and I am just getting over a bout of baby fever. We both always wanted two, got two, but suddenly a few months back I decided I wanted four! What can I say, I like things to be symmetrical!

Anyway, husband was totally on board, but ultimately left the decision up to me since I pretty much do all the work with the infants. He was even willing to get his vasectomy reversed and pay for it. Yes, he's a good guy.

Anyway, a few months went by and the urge has subsided. We truly enjoy getting out as a family and the freedom to take the kids everywhere and not be on a schedule or deal with diapers or naps or any baby things. I think the kicker for me was watching my girlfriend (who has 2 kids the same ages as mine) have her 3rd child. I'd get my baby fix with him and then be grateful to go home and get a full night sleep, or be able to take them both to school in the morning and have my own time.

Bottom line, for me a little reality check about the commitment and a few months helped the baby fever go away. Wishing you the best in your decision!

Im right there with you. We decided not to have any more due to mainly financial reasons. My ds is getting bigger and so I took all the baby stuff to consignment the other day, very sad. My younger one is only 14 months, and is still nursing, so my baby fever is still managable. Theres nothing quite like that new baby smell though...

don't think about cuteness, think about no sleep for at least 6 months , think about diapers , think about how much laundry those little creatures add. Think about how much money it costs to have a baby then about how much it costs to put one through college.

that right there cures my baby fever every time.

You are smart to not pursue it unless your husband is 100% for having a baby. It is perfectly normal to want something but it is not good to obsess over it. Whenever you start to think about having a baby, think about your kids and ask yourself if they are not enough. Is your husband not enough? Keep asking yourself these kinds of questions so that you can start to change your mindset. Look around and ask yourself if you are not being thankful for what you have and instead focusing on what you don't have.

You won't be able to get rid of the feeling. We all want things we can't have. But you can see it for what it is and not feel comfortable keeping the thoughts in your mind. Picture me wanting a newer house in the city. I can obsess about that so much that I don't appreciate that we have a manageable rent payment, a beautiful setting in the country, plenty of room for empty nesters, a happy hubby (who loves living in the country), and my husband sacrificed for me to live in the city many, many years prior.

Sounds like me when my kids were 7 and 4, except I always wanted 3. My husband not so much. But, he decided finally that he wanted me to be happy so he relented and we had another. She is a wonderful little girl. It is hard to go from out of baby stage to back in it, esp when they get to be toddlers. As an infant it was easy peasy. Not so much at age 1. We had to move to a bigger house to accomodate a bigger family. And, he reminds me daily that he did it all for me. I will tell you that your chances of having a girl are slim if you have 2 boys already. Have a heart to heart and see where it lands you. Good luck.

Well I had that third BOY, and I do just adore him, it's true, just sayin' the odds of another boy are high! However boys are the bomb and of course you know very well how to raise them! I wish I had some awesome advice about the 'fever' I know that is hard, but as all the others say he has to be on board, and since he's not, you just have to table it and pray about it. Maybe focus on the fact that by chilling on the subject will be showing love to your man, and who knows, maybe he will come around! My dear frie d just went thru this, she thought three kids were a sure thing, then her hubby said maybe but probably no. She chose to let it go, we talked about it it, and she moved on. Well come valentines, he gave her a third child! So it does happen, good luck!

Ah... Yes. I have baby fever like crazy right now (But hubby and I are actually trying to conceive, so maybe my "fever" is just impatience).

My hubby was like yours. We had our son after only 1 year of dating. I started having baby fever when he turned 1. "I want to be living together before we have another one" - A few months later we move into an apartment together. "I want you to have a job before we have another" - A few months later I have 2 part-time jobs. "I want to be married before we have another one" - A few months later we are married (We had already been engaged). "I want to be in a HOUSE before we have another" - No. That's a couple years away still and I'm not waiting that long. Lol. We talked about it and I finally led him over to the "dark side" and now he wants another one as much as I do :)

Suggestions to cure the fever:
Get a puppy
Or
Get a part-time job as a nanny/babysitter for a baby. You will find lots of jobs on www.care.com and www.sittercity.com