I Had a Miscarriage..

I'm an OB-GYN and I agree with everything Theresa, the midwife, told you. Follow that advice and I don't think you necessarily need to go to a doctor.

All I would add is:

(1) Don't blame yourself. You had no control over this happening.
(2) If you are still bleeding two weeks after your miscarriage, or if you don't get your next period, go to a doctor.
(3) Keep taking prenatal vitamins.
(4) It's okay to start trying soon to get pregnant again, but I always advise my patients to at least wait until they get their next period.

I know it doesn't necessarily help, but probably 25-30 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage--that's how common it is. I went through this myself after having my son, and it really sucks. I'm pregnant again, and I can tell you I'm nervous as can be. Just hang in there and know you're not alone...

A., I'm sorry for your loss. Though it was an early pregnancy, since you were anticipating and readying yourself for a baby it is very important for you to give yourself what you need to grieve.

However, as far as your question, I am trained as a midwife and the fact that you were only a few weeks into your pregnancy does make a difference for your physical health. Basically, if you think about it, a generation or two ago most women didn't even know they were pregnant until around 6-8 weeks. Many miscarriages happen that women do not even realize, and your body will most likely do exactly what it needs to do. Everything you describe sounds completely normal. There is no need for a D and C or any other intervention as long as you do not develop any signs of a problem. The bleeding should be like an extra heavy period, perhaps with some cramping or clots. Don't use tampons--this may seem obvious, but I just wanted to mention it. You should not place anything inside your vagina until you have completely stopped bleeding, but don't worry about taking a bath if it helps you relax. Keep a clean tub, but feel free to use water. Water does not get pulled up into the uterus.

Here are the signs to watch for in case a problem is developing:
1) Bleeding may be heavier than a normal period, but should not be excessive. If you soak more than a maxi pad an hour, call a midwife or doctor. Otherwise, bleeding should taper off and go from bright red to darker and then brownish within a few days.
2) You should not develop a fever. If you do, it is a sign of possible infection, which may mean your uterus has not completely expelled everything. You should call a midwife or doctor if this develops--they will want to do an ultrasound, most likely and would put you on antibiotics as well as recommending a D and C at this point if they find anything remaining.

I'm sorry to be so matter of fact, but I wanted you to have the information you need to monitor yourself. There is no need to go to a doctor or midwife unless something like this develops, unless you just want to.

I know you must be very sad, and it is always hard when you have been trying to have a baby and this happens. It has happened to me as well, but I have gone on to have beautiful, healthy babies afterwards, and that is true of nearly every woman I know who has had a miscarriage. Remember that an early miscarriage usually is because something wasn't quite right with the development of the baby, but you will have many more chances, and this doesn't mean there will be problems again. We are born with all the eggs we will ever have, with one being released each menstrual cycle--some of them simply get damaged over time, and our bodies "know" to not let that pregnancy continue. I do not know what your spirituality is, but over time and being involved with many pregnancies, I have become convinced that at this early stage of pregnancy, the soul is not "attached" to a specific body. It's kind of like when you build a house. The first stage is pouring the foundation and building the framework--you may go visit it to check it's progress, but you can't actually live there yet. Your baby's soul did not get harmed or lost--he or she will be back when your body is ready to be pregnant again.

Many blessings as you go through this.
Fiora

A., I am so sorry for your loss. I can totally relate; I've had two. You don't need to go to the doctor, it sounds like your body did what it needed to do. Try to be optimistic, miscarriages are actually very common and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or that you won't be able to have another baby. I think most doctors recommend that you wait at least another month, let your body get back to normal, before you try again. And also try to let yourself heal emotionally.

i know how truly devastating a miscarriage is. To answer your questions- I would go to the doctor in a day or two- the check will be fast, but they will probably want to make sure that your body fully cleans itself. If anything is left you can get an infection. There are different recommendations about how long to wait. Often times you body will not be ready to get pregnant on the next cycle, and many people say you should wait a couple of cycles to let your body get back to "prime". You might want to ask your doctor about possible causes of miscarriage. Many miscarriages are due to abnormal development of the embryo, but sometimes it has to do with your body. I know that for me, my thyroid was off and i had a blood clotting issue which caused my miscarriages. Both were easily fixed with medicine. Since your son is pretty young, your miscarriage was probably just a result of abnormal development, and your next pregnancy will turn out beautifully!
Take care, and good luck.

Hi A.,
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I have had 2 miscarriages and my heart goes out to you. I know the deep loss in your soul of losing a child you never met. My miscarriages were right after each other and we still don't know why. I was right around 8 weeks with both of them. I had 2 great pregnancies before them and 2 great pregnancies after so you miscarriage is unfortunately sometimes a part of life. I thankfully have a midwife who understands how the body works. From talking to a lot of friends of mine most drs freak out if you don't have a D & C within a week of starting to bleed. SOOOO NOT necessary. There are warning signs you need to know about to make sure everything is ok. The main thing to remember is that in a miscarriage your utereus needs to empty just like after delivery at 9 months. Since you had a C-section I am not sure how much you bleed afterward but after a vaginal birth it is quite normal to bleed for around 6 weeks. My midwife told me that a miscarriage is very similar and to expect to bleed for around a month give or take. I did with both but with my second miscarriage I bled A lOT. The warning signs are foul smelling discharge/blood that smells like rotting fish, a high fever, sharp pain in the uterus, these indicate an infection. You also need to watch for a sudden stopping of bleeding where you go from say, heavy flow to no flow not even light spotting. My midwife says that sometimes the cervix will close prematurely and there will still be blood and tissue that needs to come out. This happened to me and sure enough about 12 hours later my body being wonderfully designed knew that and I went through horrible cramps again which was my cervix reopening (like labor) and I passed some tissue. I never did find my little baby but thats ok. Sometimes D & C are necessary but most of the time it is for the Drs malpractice insurance because he/she is uncomfortable with this natural process and you are a "risk" to him. Miscarriage is a very natural process and your body knows what to do and how to handle it. Educate yourself on what to look for to take care of yourself. D & C's no matter what docs tell you are not that safe of a procedure. You run the risk of a perforated uterus from the drs curette and other issues. Trust your body it knows what to do. I have been told that it is good to have one normal cycle before you try again to make sure there is an adequate lining in the uterus for the next baby to implant. Also be on the watch for your iron being low. THere is a great supplement called Floradix. It is an all natural veggie source and your body absorbs the iron great and has NO constipation. It tastes like prune juice:) I pray that your womb is blessed with life again.
J.

I am so sorry. Please go to the doctor. You will need an ultrasound to confirm that all of the material has been expelled. You can get a terrible infection if not all is out. I had a miscarriage and needed a D&C as my uterus did not completely empty.

In some cases, although there is bleeding, there is no miscarriage. You need to check and see if you might still be pregnant.

PS Contrary to some people's belief, you don't have to wait to get pg again. Sometimes you can get pg again after a miscarriage really quickly, as your hormones are all up and running. Just make sure your heart is ready. Good luck.

Dear A.,

I am so, so sorry. I know personally how much this time hurts for you and your family.

I won't tell you what to do, but rather, tell you what I have done in the past.

I found it was good to see the doctor while I was miscarrying and afterward. I was able to get some pain meds for the actual loss, which really helped. Afterward, I went before my next period and was checked out to make sure that my body had passed everything and nothing would be left that might cause pain or infection, which could complicate or prevent a later pregnancy.

The medical community usually recommends waiting at least one full cycle before trying to get pregnant again, for the health of the child. I also know of a lot of immediate pregnancies that have also gone well. Whatever you decide, it's your decision.

If your body was pregnant, there's a good chance that you will get pregnant again. More pregnancies than we know end in miscarriage, and many women who miscarry (even repeatedly) end up having babies, so don't give up hope.

My deepest sympathies.

H.

Hi A..
I am so sorry for your loss. I really hope that you will call the doc as soon as you can. You just want to make sure that you don't get an infection. Plus, the doc my be able to give you more info on what to expect or an answer to "why". I had two miscarriages before I finally was able to carry. It is sooooooo frustrating, but soooooo common. It happens all the time, but no one seems to talk about it. That is truly sad because we need to talk about these things. Good for you for asking on Mamasource. The doctor will probably tell you to wait for three months before trying again (two periods, I think). Once your horomones get back to normal, you will feel better. Hey, look at me. I had two miscarriages and then all of a sudden I found myself with three kids!!!!!! Life happens after miscarriage. You will be ok. :)
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself,
A.

My dear A.~
I am SO sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter at what point of gestation you were at, a miscarriage is that--a miscarriage--but it doesn't mean that YOU did anything wrong.
I was in your shoes a few different times, and was able to concieve many more times. You will be able to carry another baby, that is healthy and wonderful.
As far as going/not going to the Doctor, I would go, just for an OB check up--to make sure that your body did "the job" completely. I know this sounds morbid, but if there is still any foreign matter in your uterus, conception in the future will be very difficult, if not impossible. MAKE SURE that you get a clean bill of health from the OB/GYN, wait a few moths to try again, and then, GO FOR IT!!
Keep yourself healthy, and understand that although what you have gone through is a very sad thing, you wouldn't experience the extreme happiness of having your future children. I hope that sounds right---not meaning to be "macabre" or insensitive.
Just take care of YOU, love yourself, and know that life will get better.
Big Hugs~
Becca

So very sorry. I to know where your at. I've had 7 myself and they were all hard to go threw. But I have my second child now and I'm so happy and he's my little miracle. You body does it's job and going to the doctor is so up to you. But your fine. I to would wait at least a month or two to get the body regulated have a period or two and then by all means go for and have fun doing it!...lol It will be emotionally better to by waiting. It's hard but you always ask yourself why especially right now so soon after it happens. Let yourself be sad and cry. But know that it's all for a reason. We might not know the reason but feel good and knowing that it was probably for the best. You and your husband will have that chance again to be all happy and giddy about carrying another baby to full term. Just take care of yourself. And if you have a girl friend to talk with about it all it really helps to have a girl friends day out and talk about it.

Take care.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss...Yes you should go to the doctor just to make sure that you are alright physically as well as to make sure that everything is clean...A friend of mine had to have a D & C after losing a baby. As long as you are physically healthy and the doc ok's it there should be no reason not to try again as soon as you and your hubby are emotionally ready.

One out of five pregnancies end in miscarriage. It is VERY common!! And most of the time it means that something was wrong with the fetus, usually due to an incomplete sperm fertilizing your egg. What I'm trying to say is that it didn't have a chance of living, it's not YOUR fault in any way, or your body's fault. There was something wrong with the fetus and so your body let it go. I know it's still sad, but hopefully that helps. When I miscarried the doctor told me to wait a few months before trying again, and I planned on that, but I got pregnant right away, before even having a period after the miscarriage. And that pregnancy resulted in my beautiful daughter. It is important to have things checked out though. Sometimes it won't be a complete miscarriage and you can get VERY sick if that's the case. Or it could be like one of my pregnancies (I've been pregnant three times, one miscarriage and two darling children) where I bled and bled, and went in to the doctor and the baby was still there. I bled off and on for the first half of the pregnancy, but my baby was born completely healthy and at full term. Hope this helps!!

I have had several miscarriages, have 6 living children, and am a midwife as well. Condolences to you in your time of loss.
I know what a challenging time it can be, and many people in this society feel very uncomfortable in dealing with grief issues and death. People may say very inappropriate things, even though they mean well and care about you.

You are young, and likely can conceive again. If you have Rh negative blood, a midwife or doctor would offer you a shot of RhoGam, preferably within 72 hours of the pregnancy loss, which helps to protect future pregnancies if your partner has RH positive blood. So,I would recommend that you call your prior midwife or doctor to find out which type blood you have. If it is Rh negative, seriously consider getting the shot right away BUT be savvy about which shot you would get- many of them contain thimerosol as a preservative, a mercury derivative.BayRho D is a brand that does not contain the mercury. Mercury ingestion may be correlated with many health problems, and possibly even autism although it is not conclusively proven at this time.Nothering Magazine published an excellent article by a physician mother several years ago documenting the increased incidence of autism in children whose mothers had received the mercury-laden Rho Gan shot in pregnancy and postpartum. The author herself has a child with autism, and the author had received the shot both times.

Next, if you have or have had cramping on the side where your ovaries are, rather thsn in the center where your womb is, then you may have had an ectopic pregnancy, which can be dangerous to the woman because of undiagnosed internal bleeding and should be checked out by a healthcare professional.

If neither of these things apply to you, your bleeding is subsiding gradually, you have no fever and don't feel dizzy, then you could confirm the loss of the pregnancy with a home pregnancy test and you are probably fine.

I usually recommend for women to try to wait 3 months before conceiving again, to give your body a rest , build up your iron stores post-miscarriage, and re-balance your hormones.

Many times a miscarriage results when there was something defective about the embryo. The second most common cause that I have seen results from an imbalance in the woman's hormones, which I have started to see in younger and younger women, as a result of all the chemicals in many foods and in our modern life. This results in an imbalance in the estrogen/progesterone balance. It could be very beneficial to switch to organic and free range foods because some chemical pesticides unfortunately will mimic estrogen and the body will be tricked into absorbing and storing them, especially iin the fatty tissue of the breasts and buttocks. Progesterone is needed in a certain ratio, so if estrogen-mimicking chemicals are on board at significant levels, a woman may experience repeat miscarriages, but the problem can be resolved by eliminating the culprits and sometimes by the addition of phytoprogesterone foods and herbs such as yams, wild yam, sarsparilla, ginseng, and limiting ingestion
of phytoestrogenic foods and herbs such as soy foods, carrot juice, anything flavored like licorice. Stress also increases estrogen levels, so practice reducing your stress in whatever ways work best for you.

Eat iron foods such as free-range organic eggs and red meats,beets and dark leafy greens, blackstrap molasses, seaweeds, raisins, etc. And when you plan to conceive again, take a high-quality prenatal vitamin with folic acid in it even before you conceive to minimize chances of certain kinds of birth defects such as spina bifida.

If you learn to recognize the signs of impending ovulation, you can maximize your chances of conceiving in a timely way. Consider working with a wholistically-trained midwife for the best and most thorough answers to your childbearing questions.Blessings to you on your mothering journey.

Shaheeda, mother and midwife

Hi A.,
I had a miscarriage in Nov. I was 5 weeks pregnant.I started spotting blood and went to the doctors right away. Yes, it was difficult to go to the doctors ,but my doctor told me alot information to help me. I was very sad ,also. I am 41 years old . I stopped thinking about it so much and ended up getting pregnant again. I am 9 weeks pregnant this time and still worry and know we have a long time until I know everything is ok with the baby.
I know that we are very lucky to have our 2 year old daughter. I think of it this way -we are all different and we have miscarriages for a reason. It is God way of saying that the baby had something wrong (abnormal)
. This might be difficult for you to understand right now ,since you just had a miscarriage. Hopefully you will understand down the road. Go to your doctors and she/he can help you with the process. Hope this helped you alittle and good luck.
E.

First off I would like to start with I am so sorry for your loss. I have only been able to get pregnant once (with medical assistance) and miscarried. I know how devasting it feels.

I was told that there is no need to go to the doctor, unless you continue to have pain and/or bleeding. Your body should purge itself, but if it doesn't you will probably need to go in to have a DNC. That is what happened to me.

I have several friends and family who have miscarried and had successful pregancies right after the miscarrage. My doctor recommended waiting 2 months prior to trying again, due to letting your body cycling through. I know of some people who didn't wait and did just fine.

My prayers will be you and once again I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that you'll be able to conceive very soon.

Sincerely,
L. M

I am so sorry for your loss. I have had two losses but now have two healthy children. You should see a doctor just to make sure the miscarriage was complete, otherwise you could get an infection. Please take time for yourself to heal, physically and mentally. Ask your doctor how long you should wait. Every woman and every miscarriage is different. I was told to wait for two cycles but other doctors have different opinions.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. Years ago I had a miscarriage just as you described. I went to the doctor and he checked me out. Physically I was OK, but the emotional pain was another story. How long do you wait? As long as the doctor doesn't find something physically wrong, that's up to you. I think once you and your husband don't feel the overwhelming pain of the loss of your child then you'll be ready. The two of you are the only ones who will know when it's time.

Hang in there. E.

I went through this before I had gotten pregnant with my son. It was devastating for me. I was 3 1/2 mo pregnant. My world was upside down. But, life did turn around. Within a year, I was pregnant again, with the handsome son I have today.
Wait for your body to cleanse itself. When your body starts the cleansing period, just take a deep breath. If you should start to have dizziness associated with some heavy bleeding, then I would go to the hospital. Drink plenty of fluids. Too much bleeding could cause you to hemorrhage. Which is something you don't want. I would go to the doctor just to get a checkup and to let the doctor know what is going on.
As for getting pregnant again? Chances are you will. Have faith in your body and faith in God. Everything will work out. So sorry for your loss. *hug* God bless.

I am very sorry for your loss. I have been there so I know it is very sad and confusing especilly when you have been trying and wanting another child.I would go to the Dr. and talk.He or she can explain so much to you and give you the best medical advice.Good luck and God bless.

I had 3 before my first son. Two back to back with my husband so you will be able to get pregnant again. The last two were at 6 and 7 weeks so I was about the same way. You just find out and get so excited and then have to deal with the loss. Especially that early, although it is not comforting, it is very common as I was told so many times. My sister also had one about 10 weeks before she had her first child.

I would recommend calling your OB-Gyn and ask what they would like you to do. With mine they wanted to make sure they had them documented so that if a pattern continued they could try to do something about it. Probably nature is taking care of itself and they won't need to do any procedures, but they may want to check your hormone level to make sure that it has gone back down.

With us they said they wanted us to wait one cycle before trying again. This was also because they were so early. If they are later or they have to do a procedure they like you to wait a little longer.

There is hope and you just got to keep holding on. I have a beautiful baby boy who is 6 months old, and I just feel like he was meant to be mine. Good Luck with everything.

hey there...so sorry. i too had a miscarriage in the fall at 12 weeks. it is disappointing, but be grateful it happened so early on. if we miscarry, something is wrong with the developing embryo...it's nothing you have done. i was glad it happened at 12 weeks rather than in my last trimester or at birth. what helped me through it was my 3 year old daughter. the love i have for her flooded my heart that morning when i saw her face. i felt so blessed to have her. since i was further along, my miscarriage was actually quite painful, though i was able to stay at home. my body shed everything. i was also given some angelica archangelica root tincture from my midwife to help complete the process. i never had to get a dnc. you are probably fine, since you were only a few weeks. but if you feel cramping, smell a foul odor, and start to bleed very heavily, call your doctor or midwife. i did end up going to the doctor because i bled for about 2 weeks following the miscarriage, (dr. stafle is amazing...look him up) and the doctor did an ultrasound to see if anything was left and if there was an infection. i was fine though. because i was farther along, it was taking longer to heal. you should be fine. and most people wait about 3 months to try again. don't you worry. you'll have another baby. but for now, love the one you have, heal yourself and try to find yourself in a positive mind set. much luck to you. ~S.

GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!
I don't want to give you false hope but you need to check with the doctor and make sure that it was indeed a miscarriage.
When I was just about two months pregnant with my daughter, I was getting ready for work one morning and felt a kind of "pop" and I started bleeding very heavy. I was devastated all weekend knowing that I had lost my baby. When I went into the doctor on Monday to see if I had passed everything or to find out if I would need to have a procedure to clean myself out....only to discover that I was still pregnant.
What happened was that my placenta had partially separated from my uterus causing the bleeding. For a while there was a 50/50 chance that I could have lost the baby, and I bled for a few months, but I am happy to say...My daughter is now 16 years old!!
Now like I said before, I don't want to give you false hope but definitely go to the doctor ASAP just to be sure!

My prayers are with you....

J.

My daughter just went through this after trying for a second child for 4 years. She was about 10 weeks. It sounds horrible to say but ...there is always a reason this happens. There was something not right or it would not have happened. One thing her dr suggested is...have a d&c done to make sure that everything is cleaned out and ready to go back to work. He said the first period will be a bit longer....6 wks from d&c but then things should go back to normal physically. He suggested waiting trying to get pregnant for about 3 months. My older daughter had 7 misscarriages and the only successful pregnanacies she had were after a d&c. Hang in there.....lots of hugs to you and your family. It is tough to go through but you will make it.

I know you have a lot of feedback on this and my story is similar to the others but I want you to know just how common it is to miscarry and then carry to term again. I was 34 and six weeks pregnant when I started to bleed and cramp. I was sure I was losing the baby and went to the ER. They did an ultrasound and blood test to confirm that I was miscarrying. My doctor wasn't sure if all of the material had expelled or not so they did a D&C (it really wasnt' bad at all) to be sure. I was advised to wait six weeks to try again. Well, there was a "slip up" at five weeks, just once! Guess what, that's all it took and I was pregnant again. My daughter is now five and healthy as a horse. I was told by my doc that the older you get the higher the risk for miscarrying but that this does not affect your ability to get pregnant. It's hard to know why we miscarry and I have to assume that God knows when the timing is right. Grieve your loss, but be positive that you WILL get pregnant again.

Dear A.,

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I personally can not give you any advice, but I think you should see a doctor to make sure that everything is alright. I hope that you can bounce back with great health and may you get a gift from heaven soon.

Don't waste another moment. Go to your doctor now.

Regards,
C.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I have had 3 miscarriages and 2 successful pregnancies so I would say that since you have had a successful pregnancy you should be able to have another one. Had you gone to the doctor regarding the pregnancy yet? I would call your obgyn's office and tell them what has happened, they should make sure that everything has come out. My miscarriages were before one birth and then 2 between them so don't feel like you can't have another baby but give yourself some time to heal emotionally as well. Your doctor should have some good advice on that subject and if not find a new obgyn. It's a painful loss that no one else can fully understand so give yourself a chance to mourn the loss and heal share your feelings with your husband so he can try to help, I think they feel completely helpless in this as they can't fix it.

take care and call your doctor.

I had 2 miscarriages both at about 13 1/2 weeks before I had my oldest. At the time it was so hard to see and understand why but now I can look back and know they are better off. I know in my heart they will always be a part of me but for whatever reason could not join me on this earth. My first miscarriage cleaned its self out and scared the daylights out of me. I had started bleeding and couldn't get it to stop or the pains. My second miscarriage about a year later was quieter. My body had just absorbed the baby back into itself so I had to have a dnc to clean me out. Then a year after that I had a beautiful baby girl. I learned to be more careful and to cherish my baby from the very first moment. Since my oldest was born 8 yrs ago I have had 3 more kids and retired from baby making. Everyone deals with it differently but the general rule is its Tough! But you can get through it!

YES, GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! If you can get an infection, it can be deadly or can affect your chances of having another baby!
I had a miscarraige years ago, I had a D & C in the emergancy room.
I'm sorry for your loss. Just please remember that there was a reason why your body miscarried.
Bless you
D.

I haven't read the others advice so sorry if I am just repeating..............
I miscarried at 7 weeks and 3 days with my first pregnancy. I didn't have to do the D&C thing (thankfully) but I did go into the docs office first thing monday to see my doc. ( I went into the ER when everything happened because others felt I should be seen )We ended up getting pregnant 12 days later with twins.....that I successfully gave birth to at 39 weeks, with them weighing in around 7 lbs each..... I have also had another kiddo after the twins. Both pregnancys were "text book" and I had no problems at all.

My only suggestion would be to wait a while before trying. I didn't realize I could get concieve even before my body had a "cycle" and they figure the reason I got my twins was because my body was still a bit topsy turvy and released 2 eggs!!! It was pretty tramatic to so quickly be going through the whole being pregnant thing again.

There are not many words that can express how hard it is to go through what you have, just know that there are many of us that have been there and understand what you are feeling.

Dear A. A Hello my name is D. and I had a miscarriage 9 months after my first son was born. I felt just like you
do right now. I am not sure that you have lost the baby yet by what you described. Please A. go to the doctor because you need to know if you have lost the baby yet or if you are having a problem that your doctor can help you with. If you have lost the baby they may have to do a dnc to know for sure that all of the baby and everything has come out of your body. If it hasn't and it stays inside you it can make you very sick. I don't want to scare you but if you go to a doctor they can help you know just where you are and what you are dealing with.

I want to give you some hope. Just because you have a miscarriage doesn't mean that you can't have another child. Six years after I had my miscarriage I conceived another child and he is now 18 years old. Until you are through the menapause its never too late to get pregnant again. Don't worry you still have plenty of time.

Please do me a favor and call your doctor. If you don't have one find your county health clinic. You need medical
advice that I can't give you. Please don't hesitate because this is an important thing for you to do for yourself. Be sure and mension the depression to your doctor. Its normal to feel this way for awhile because I know that you wanted the baby so badly and your hormones will change after you loose the baby. Best of luck to you.
D.

I'm so sorry A.. I have been there several times. I am not a big one for Drs now as I do most things with nutrition but in this case sometimes it's a good idea to have things checked out. Make it safe for the next one. You may want to ask about your blood type. That was my problem.
My thoughts are with you. Agape' D.

I am very sorry for your loss! God be with you and comfort you! Please do go to the doctor soon! You need to be checked!

Hi A.,

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and I pray that you heal emotionally and physically soon. I had a miscarriage with our first child; December 7 2007 at about 7 weeks…we were so excited after having waited for a couple years to have our first child. The experience is one of the worst ever. I would recommend going to the doctor or at least calling your nurse to see what they say and suggest, because each person is different. On the great and positive side, January 1, 2008 my husband and I conceived again (I was shocked that we were blessed again so quickly) and now I’m 24 weeks along and all is well. I was concerned because of how fast I got pregnant after the MC but it’s just a true and abundant blessing and ALL tests, news etc for this pregnancy have been positive. So do be too cast down, allow for the proper time to heal, but trust that you will be able to have a happy and healthy pregnancy and baby. Wishing you all the best, J.

I am sorry for your loss, it is very difficult. Most likely, your body will take care of things but I would at least call your doctor to be on the safe side. Your doctor can also advise you on when to try again. I had a successful pregnancy following a miscarriage, so don't give up hope! S.

Hi A.

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage once, too. It is a good idea to go to your OBGYN to be checked out. They will take Blood tests to see if your levels of hormones are coming down. If not, you will have a little procedure done ( they basically will "clean" you out ). Either way, you probably will /should have to wait ONE MENSTRUAL CYCLE before you try to get pregnant again.

I sure hope it will work out for you the next time!

Blessings,
Chris

Hi A.,
you should go to the doctor. I had bleeding and cramping at about six weeks with both of my pregnancies and both times I thought I was miscarrying but to my suprise the babies were just fine! Bleeding can come from the placenta sometimes and in my case it was as heavy as a period and lasted for a month - it's hard to believe that my son made it through that! Also the egg implants around 4 weeks and some have bleeding from that too. Ask for an ultrasound to find out for sure. I hope this is the case for you, but if you find that your baby didn't make it then allow yourself time to grieve the loss and do something special in your baby's honor and all of our hearts are with you. I'll hope for the best .. D.

I am so sorry to hear your bad news Ms. A.. I went thru that also. I just thought I would respond and tell you that I had a miscarriage and I was probably around 3-4wks. I didn't have to much pain. I lost my baby in Sept of 2003. I didn't go to the doctors, I figured that I would give my body alittle time and see what happens. The bleeding stopped and the pain was gone after a few days and my husband and I ended up pregnant by the mid of Dec 2003. Sept 30th of 2004 I gave birth to a big, beautiful, healthy boy. I had a hard time losing a baby and I was sad and mad at the same time. I have to say it took some time for me to finally tell myself that there is a reason for everything and that God had a plan and a reason, which I don't understand. I was scared to try and get pregnant again and I didn't even know I was at first. My husband and I still think about the baby we once had and wonder, but I know that everything is ok. It will get better. I hope this note helps you. Take it easy and things will happen.

I'm sorry for your loss. God bless and comfort you during this difficult time.

Miscarriages are actually pretty common. I've known a lot of women who had them. Normally women go on to become pregnant again. It's nature's way of letting what would have been a very sick baby go to God before having to suffer a great deal. If you consider the wonderful miracle and complexity of conception, it's bound to happen that occasionally things go wrong right in the beginning.

I would go to the gynecologist and get examined to see if your body has expelled all of the material. Women I know who have miscarried went on to have normal children. Often the doctor will want to do a D&C (cleaning of the uterus) to ensure that there is nothing still left behind. I don't know whether or not that is a good idea. A good midwife is worth her weight in gold for advice in this area.

God bless you.

I am sorry for your sadness. I too, tried for about 6 months to conceive and I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks last Septmeber. I was also quite sad, as we jumped the gun and told family and friends too early, as this was the first child for my new husband. Then soon after a close family member gave birth and another announced their own prgnancy. Miscarriage is difficult under any circumstance, but your body must have known that there was somthing not quite right with the way things were developing and did as nature intended. I am confident that you will have luck in the future, as I found out from my Doctor after my own experience that many more people have miscarriages than we hear about as it is pretty common. I did have go into the doctor to get an ultra-sound to confirm that all was ok and I was not bleeding due to a tubal pregnancy, etc. I was told to wait for one month before trying again - through my next period. By late November, I became pregnat again, this time with twins. So don't give up hope or fear another miscarriage. I was sad for a few weeks myself and I would cry from time to time, I think your pain is very normal. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

Oh yeah, I am older than you at 37 with 3 kids - 17, 8 & 7. So don't let being 35 be a concern for you. :)

Definitely see your doctor to make sure everything is okay, it will give you peace of mind. You need to make sure that your body is okay and you can have another child if you want to. Only a doctor can tell you that.

Then give yourself and your husband the right and time to be sad, to morn this little one who did not make it. If the two of you or just you, become so sad for too long then you need to see someone to talk it out.

W.

Yes, you should go to the doctor to be sure that everything is alright. My daughter had a miscarrige and then had a D and C to clean out her uterus. Since you want to get pregnant again it's important to be sure that your uterus is in a good condition. An OB/GYN may have some ideas about why you miscarried.

Yes, this is a very sad time. I would advise not only letting your body heal but also your spirit. Wait until you're past the initial grief and ready to welcome a new pregnancy.

A., I am so truly sorry. You are not alone by any means. I know how painful losing a child is. Please call your doctor. She would've known you were trying to get pregnant, right? If for no other reason, seeing your doctor can give you some reassurance that everything is fine physically. It may help to hear that a miscarriage doesn't mean you can't be successful another time. Give yourself a little time to grieve, as this is a big loss. My guess is you will be welcoming baby number two in the near future. Good luck to you!

I am really sorry. I had a Tubal and then three months later a miscariage when I was trying to get pregnant with my second. I think that usually your body will cleanse itself. But I would really watch it. If you feel like the bleeding is getting fairly heavy I would contact your doctor imediatly.

I was told after my tubal to wait three months. So I did and then I had a miscariage. After that I waited a year. I now have four kids. After talking to people I realized how common it was to have problems after your first.

first I am sorry for your loss, even though you were early in your pregnancy it doesn't mean you hadn't hoped for and loved this new child. It is alright to say it is painful and sad.
Yes you can get pregnant again. Many people do and have successful pregnancies. Timing wise- I don't know about physically that is were talking to your ob would help. Emotionally wait till you are ready don't rush into pregnancy to replace the one you loss, let grief run its course.

Hi A.,
I'm very sorry for your loss :( The very most important thing for you right now is not to blame yourself & seek medical attention right away.
I had one miscarriage about 16 years ago. I was able to get pregnant again as I'm sure you will. When I went to my doctor after my miscarriage, he told me that often times our bodies recognize that something didn't develop right with the fetus and "self aborts", and that it's absolutely NOTHING that I did to cause it and nothing I could have done to prevent it. I was all ready to blame myself, must have been something I did, or ate or even thought that would cause this...but it's not, it's just natures way of correcting something that wasn't right. He also gave me permission to be sad, which may sound silly, but I really did need permission to grieve for this child that I never met. You need to do that also.
I would strongly recommend going to see your OBGYN immediately and getting checked out really good. If your body does not clean itself out like it should, you could end up getting an infection which could result in reproductive problems later.
They will probably recommend waiting about three months before trying again.
Best of luck to you, try to get plenty of rest & eat well to get your body ready to try again in the future.

First of all i am sorry to hear about your loss. I have gone through 2 miscarriages in a row. I lost them both at 8 weeks. So i know what kind of emotional stuff you are going through. I would HIGHLY recommend you seeing a doctor!!!! Better safe then sorry. He/She can tell you where to go from here. And yes, you can get pregnant again.... I have 2 beautiful children now... they don't know why i had miscarried, but they thought maybe it was a blood thing... clotting of my blood and so they (my Dr.) recommended i take a baby asprin to help thin my blood. (i started taking that every day once i found out i was pregnant and took it until the end of my pregnancy). BE encouraged and don't give up. I am 35 years old too and i am NOT done with having kids!!! Good luck and don't give up hope! Be Blessed!!!

I lost my first baby when I was not quite ten weeks along. She or He would be five years old now and I still think of her with sadness.

Normally your body will clean itself out, but its a good idea to go to the doctor and be checked. That way if anything goes wrong with the process, you can get help quickly - it could be important. My body had a hard time getting back on any cycle. It took months and some hormone help.

With some reading and questions after the miscarriage, I was told that about 1 in 4 babies are estimated to be lost before ten weeks, just that most mothers don't know that they are pregnant before it happens. A nurse told me that so many things can go wrong, and that it didn't depend on anything the mother did, it was just kinks in the process and during that time all the major systems develop. She said its truly a miracle that anyone can be born.

Likely you'll be able to concieve again once your system cleans out and you get back on a normal cycle again. I concieved almost exactly one year later and now I have a four year old and a 2 1/2 year old.

God Bless, I hope you find comfort during this time. It helped me to name my baby. Her name is Jewel.

Just wanted to say I am sorry you have to go through this. And to let you know from experience what is possible. I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks...had no D&C and got pregnant the next month...literally...miscarriage in August and pregnant in September. I carried her to term. Your body can heal itself. Keep an eye out for pain, excessive bleeding...remember to take it easy and let yourself feel the pain of losing a baby. Or do whatever you need to to get through...some women can't feel the pain right away, and need to find ways to busy themselves or whatever brings them comfort. Be yourself. Follow your heart. Blessings.

Have you gone to the doctor yet? You should ask to be tested for MTHFR. It is a gene mutation. I have it and I had fertilty problems and a miscarriage. I didn't get diagnosed until afterward. There are things you can do to help prevent further problems in the future if you get diagnosed.
One more thing, not to give you false hope but you might still be pregnant. You really need to go to the doctor to find out. I had heavy bleeding and passed clots with my second baby and I was convinced that I had miscarried but the ultrasound showed the baby was fine! She's 14 months old now.
Take care,
J.

go to the doctor, they need to make sure it is all gone if you actually lost it. I had a friend who got pregnant and they found out it had been twins when she started bleeding. she stayed pregnant with a little boy and bleed off and on the whole pregnancy. he is now 5. her next pregnancy was totally normal. just shows you never know!! GO TO THE DOC AND CONFIRM AND GET ALL THE INFO YOU NEED FROM THEM!!!! Good Luck!!!

Hi A.,
First ((((hugs)))) to you. I went through something very similar a few years ago. We had a healthy 14 mo old son and got pregnant with our second. Around week 7 we had the same thing happen--started brown, then heavy. I went to the doctor and she told me that the body typically cleanses itself. She said we should wait at least one cycle before trying again. We had the miscarriage in June, and were pregnant again in August (thankfully it was an easy pregnancy and we now have a very healthy 2 yr old).

Best wishes,
E.

Hi, A.-

I can relate to your pain. I miscarried our first baby about 5 years ago. I was also pretty early into the pregnancy (about 5 weeks) but that didn't make it any easier. I'd already had dreams of meeting that child and already loved them completely.

It's a good idea to get checked out by your doctor. they'll probably want to do an ultrasound and make sure everything's gone (you can have further problems if you don't). I think I waited about six months after mine before I really tried to get pregnant again, but that was mostly due to the fact I was still grieving my loss and did not yet feel ready. I'd also ask your doctor what they recommend.

Meanwhile, don't be afraid to grieve for this little one. I found writing a little journal about my experience very helpful. I also named the baby. And just so you know we went on to have two kids and are now expecting #3.

God Bless!
-J.

Please do go to the doctor. I had 2 hemorrhages during my last pregnancy (#3). My prayers were answered and my little man stayed strong and made it through the pregnancy. He was born 3 weeks early and is now 17 months old. The doctor needs to check to see if you did indeed miscarry and to check to see if everything is ok. You usually have to wait a couple of normal cycles to try and get pregnant again. My prayers and understanding are with you.

I had a miscarriage in October so I know what you are feeling. I went to the doctor to make sure that is what it was and that everything was going the way that it "should." They had me do blood tests to make sure the hgc levels go down to where they should and that is how you know if everything took care of itself. My doctor said that if you are emotionally ready, right after a miscarriage is when you are most fertile to get pregnant again. We got pregnant two weeks after the miscarriage. I hope that everything will be all right with you. Write to me if you want to talk about it.

Hi A.,

I also wanted to extend my deepest sympathy to you in your loss. That is a devastating thing to have happen. May God bless your family and help you heal emotionally and physically. I will pray he sends you another bundle soon. Love and hugs to you!

Yes A.. Do see a doctor. Mostly to put your mind at rest and help you deal with the loss. I think you will be strong enough in the future to try again, but get some help now. It is one of the hardest things you will go through. And you need lots of support now. Telling you that "something was proably not going to be viable about the baby is usually why women abort spontaneously" is not very helpful. You already know you're a good Mom.
T.

I'm sorry for your loss..... I know how much it hurts.... I had a miscarriage at around 16 weeks after trying for a few years. The doctor told me to wait 3 months and try again. Thankfully as soon as we started trying we got pregnant again and now we have a healthy happy little boy. SOme people actually have a miscarriage in between every successful pregnancy. One theory behind this is that the body cleans itself out and gets ready for a baby. It is sad and it's okay to grieve... I know I did. There are support groups that are available to. Good luck!

Go to the doctor and make sure all the tissue is gone. This will help answer your questions and make sure you don't get any type of infection.
My thoughts are with you. I've been there. Talk to your doctor about all your concerns and if they don't answer change doctors. I did.

A.,

I completely understand where you are coming from. I had a miscarriage at about 6 weeks in Feb 2007. I was 34 and a mother of a bright 16 month old boy. I was so sad as I was really hoping to have my children 2 years apart. I did go to the doctors just to make sure my body did what it was suppose to due and verify that the hormone levels dropped properly. We just wanted to make sure that I hadn't had an ectopic (spelling) pregnancy and that I just had one of those random miscarriages that happens in about 1 in 3 or 4 pregnancies. Just take care of yourself and have hope. This little one just wasn't ready for the world yet. Give yourself a cycle or two to recover and then try again (that was the suggestion of my OBGYN) if all is well. We started trying again based on my doctor's time-line and we had a beautiful baby girl on December 30th. Sending warm thoughts your way.

B.

That happened to me back in October, my husband and I had been trying for a while and he was out of town and I took the test and it said positive and soon after he got back I started bleeding. It was over within a week. I did call my doc and they had me come in and do some blood tests to check the hcg levels to diagnose it...they told me to wait two more cycles before we started trying again, but I couldn't wait that long and we ended up getting pregnant again pretty much the next week!! I'm 7 months along now and haven't had any problems since! Hang in there and remember that everything happens for a reason!

Hi A., I know this is a really long response, and maybe you've already read it, but I've added some more thoughts and would encourage you to read it again! Thank you so much for reaching out to Mamasource!

I really understand how sad you feel. My miscarriage (after 5 years of trying for a third child, at the age of 40) was the saddest thing I have ever gone through in my life. I would encourage you to grieve fully, create a meaningful ceremony to celebrate this being's short life, and talk about your feelings with people who will understand (many people don't understand how painful miscarriage can be). I think it's important to take some time to grieve before planning to conceive again, also time to allow your body to heal. You can trust yourself to know when it is time - it may be right away, or in a few months.

Miscarriage is very very common (I have heard figures as high as 85% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, many of them before the mother is aware of the pregnancy). It is not your fault, it's nature's way of ensuring that healthy babies are born, by allowing those who are not healthy to pass on. There are also many spiritual ways of looking at miscarriage - such as that the soul only needed to come into physical form for a short time to fulfill its mission; and/or that this being came to you for this short time in order to help you grow in some way. Maybe this same soul will come back to you again, or maybe this time was all that was needed, and a different soul will come next time. You could create some quiet time and have a dialogue with this being, appreciating the short time you had together and expressing your love and maybe gaining some understanding of the meaning of this.

I would encourage you to really appreciate the extra time that you will now have with your son and husband, before adding a fourth person to the family, and that you welcome all of your feelings and your husband's as well (in addition to sadness, you may experience anger, fear, relief, guilt, etc). Your husband may have similar feelings to yours, or may be quite different, and it's important to acknowledge that. And although your son may seem too young to understand, I think it's really important to include him in your process, realizing that he can at least sense that you are sad and probably wonders if he did something wrong (as is natural for young children to do). You could offer him a simple explanation, I'm feeling really sad right now and it's not about you, I love you very very much and am so glad you're here. (or you could give a more detailed but still simple explanation if it seems like a good idea - like, I really wanted another baby to come, but the baby isn't going to come right now, and I'm really glad you're here). Really paying attention to how he responds as you talk with him, and empathizing with his feelings too. He may have had a connection with this being and may be feeling the loss himself, so I'd just be aware of possibilities like that and be extra attentive to him and use your intuition about what to say to him. And if it is sometimes hard for you to be present with him because you are having feelings, please find ways to give him special care and get good support for yourself.

Also, and this is not meant to diminish in any way your sadness, but it may be better for your son that his sibling will be born when he is a little older (some people consider that 2-1/2- to 3-year spacings between children are optimal). I realize that at the age of 35 you are probably concerned about your biological clock, but, unless you have other health problems (and it sounds like you don't), it is highly likely that you will be able to conceive again, although there are certainly no guarantees (I wasn't able to have another child after my miscarriage, and it took a while to really come to peace with that - but now I have three wonderful grandchildren!). And, again, this is not to try to diminish your pain but to offer another perspective, there is much to be said, in these times, for having only one child, to whom you can more fully devote yourself and who can grow up feeling perhaps even more loved and cared for and therefore more able to love (and there is also the serious issue of planetary overpopulation). Of course children need to socialize with other children, but that can happen in many other ways besides having siblings.

As far as going to see a doctor, I would say there is no need for you to do that (especially since it sounds like you'd rather not), as long as the bleeding stops and you have no signs of infection or anything. You can trust your body to clean itself and prepare itself for conception again when you are ready. I'm sure there are herbs that can specifically help with this, that you can find out about. Otherwise, I'd encourage you to really focus on taking good care of yourself, get lots of good exercise as it feels right to you, eat really well, and do whatever you can to cleanse and prepare your vessel, your temple, to welcome a new being when the time is right. I'm sure there are some books and internet sites that could be very helpful for you as well, but even more important I think is to trust yourself and really appreciate the family you have.

I've just read the other responses and really agree with Janet H, Andrea H, Theresa S, and I really think the best thing for you will be for you to tune into yourself and trust yourself to know whether you need to consult with anyone else. If you do have any signs of problems or just want to check with someone, I'd call a midwife rather than a doctor. I agree that D&Cs are usually not necessary, are very invasive, and can be quite traumatic, and doctors are probably motivated by fear of lawsuits rather than your wellbeing. I feel sad that so many women turn so much power over to doctors. I'd encourage you to empower yourself by accessing information by internet or books, and especially to take this opportunity to really tune into your body and further develop your own bodyknowing (which will help you greatly in your next birthing). (one issue though you might want to consider - if you have Rh negative blood type, it might be good to find out if a Rhogam shot might be a good idea. I don't know what the current thinking is on this, but when I miscarried 20 years ago I did go in for a shot, at the midwife's recommendation).

With both of my births, even though the second one was at home, I experienced way too much intervention and intrusion into the natural process, and in a way my miscarriage actually helped me to heal from those traumas because I went through it at home, in my own way, in my own time, with only people around me whom I really wanted to see. (it did, by the way, hurt quite a bit for a while, the cramping). I was actually going through a difficult divorce at the time and so had no husband to turn to for support, and for me it was really important in the first days to have supportive friends come over, just to be there with me, as I didn't want to be alone. I named the baby and had a ceremony, planting a rosebush over the tissue. You may also want to have some peaceful time where you can be alone for a while (ask someone else to take your son somewhere fun), maybe spend time in nature, maybe do some journaling or artwork or dancing or singing. Maybe find a good therapist or counselor to help you through this (especially if it seems like this miscarriage is bringing up feelings from something in the past - this could be a really good time to work through some other things). Also, if you have any unresolved feelings about how your first birth went, this could be a really good time to work through them before getting pregnant again. Also a good time to learn more about pregnancy and birthing (I'm a strong advocate of homebirth, and especially waterbirth, allowing the natural process to unfold without intervention, with a supportive knowledgeable midwife holding space and encouraging the unfolding, only intervening if necessary). If you do want to consult with someone about the miscarriage, this could be a good time to call different midwives, to find someone you resonate with, to check you out and help you through this time, and to begin to develop a relationship tha you would continue after you conceive. Wishing you the very best and sending you love and light!

I've been down almost the same road. After trying for 8 months, we got pregnant, then I miscarried at 8 weeks. That was back in January of this year, and I'm 6 weeks pregnant again. Yes, you need to go to the doctor to make sure all the tissue in your uterus has been "cleaned" out. Sometimes the body does this on it's own but sometimes you may need a little help. I had a D&C with my miscarriage, and although it was scary for me to think about, the procedure itself wasn't bad at all and I recovered physically very quickly. Odds are good that you won't need to worry about a D&C, but if you do, try not to worry too much. My Doc said I should have two regular periods before trying again and we got pregnant within a few months after that.
I know how hard it is emotionally right now, but try to remember that miscarriage is the body's way of taking care of itself. Usually, a miscarriage is due to some kind of genetic defect that would have made it impossible for the baby to survive. For now, enjoy the little boy who is already part of your family and focus on keeping yourself healthy, both physically and emotionally. When the time is right, baby number two will come to be part of your family, too. But do call your doctor to make sure things are taking care of themselves properly.

First i just want to say sorry about your lost I'm expecting our fourth in janurary and I couldn't bear going though that.Well about you going to see a doctor I would say yes cause they need to make sure that everything has been cleared out so you don't get an infection and about you trying again I would say about a month once your doctor says that everything has passed from the miscariage but I will say that I had one before my first child and I got pregnant again about a week later and she was fine so its your choice. and about why this happens I don't there is only one reason and everyones experiance is differant. my doctor told my that it was cause my baby just didn't have all the chromosomes it needed to develope normally and I was right around 10wks along. So I hope I was so help good luck with trying again.

Hi A., you need to go to the Dr. right away. They have to mka esure your hormone levels go back to the pre-preg levels.
I don;t want to get your hopes up with this story but my last pregnancy at about 7-8 weeks I all of a sudden had a ton of blood. I thought surely I had miscarried but it turned out the baby was fine and that my placenta had seperated from the uterus slightly. My daughter will turn a year in one week.

Please go the Dr. ASAP!

I have also had miscarriages. Having a miscarriage does not effect your fertility.

You will be in my prayers!

S.

I'm sorry you and your family is going through this sad time. My thoughts are with you.

You should visit your doctor to make sure you did indeed miscarry (you don't want something dangerous, such as an Ectopic Pregnancy) and they will be able to help you with your medical questions. Some women do bleed when they are in their first trimester (that happened to my friend). Some miscarriages require a DNC to clean everything out.They will also let you know how long you need to wait before trying for a baby again. Also, I would ask your doctor if they have any support groups or information they can give you to help you to grieve and get through this sad event in your life. I wish you only the best!

A.,
I am sorry to hear about your misscariage. I had one too and it is very sad! However, It is very important to see a doctor so you can be sure everything is gone and ok for you to try again. We were told to wait in sex for 2-3 weeks then wait to try again for 3 months. The 3 month wait is for emotional reasons. We did not wait the 3 months and got pregnant right away. But you have to decide what is best for you and your family.
Good luck and I am thinking of you.
K.

I'm so sorry for your loss! If you know your body well and you feel (physically) fine then you don't need to put yourself through a Dr. trip just to have them probe you and confirm that you had an early miscarriage. If, however in the next 7-14 days you develop cramping, excessive bleeding (as much or more than a period but you're not ON your period), or a fever even of just a few degrees then you need to IMMEDIATELY go to the Dr. Those would be signs that your body hasn't done the job and you need some medical intervention.

As far as how long you need to wait to start trying again...only until you feel emotionally ready to get pregnant again. Don't worry, having a miscarriage doesn't effect your ability to concieve agian. If you are concerned, though, that there may be something wrong with your body/health that may have caused or contributed then I would encourage you to see a Dr. to have those concerns either confirmed or denied.

Hi A.,
Have you been to see your doctor? You should go as soon as possible to get checked. I had a miscarriage many years ago and went on to have three very healthy boys. You have your son to love and care for. Focus on that blessing. Go to the doctor and make sure you are well. My prayers and best thoughts are with you.
K.

Hi A., I know it is hard and emotionally upsetting right now. I, too, miscarried my first around the same time as you. I now have two beautiful boys ages 16 and 12. I would advise going to the doctor to make sure everything expelled completely. I still had tissue remaining inside. If it is not removed it will rot and cause complications. I had to have the tissue removed through a D & C procedure. After that everything was fine. Again, I am sorry. I know how hard it can be. I waited 5 years before trying again and made sure that my body was completely cleansed of birth control pills. My doctor suggested that it occurred as an effect of having taken birth control pills.

i am so sorry for your loss. i too have experienced this and it's painful on many levels.
i would visit a doctor just to ensure your system has cleared itself. my miscarriage was not clean and i actually had to have a dnc. i would go as soon as you can get an appointment.
how long you need to wait is up to you and i would also recommend talking to a doctor to get some input there......

I would go to the doctor to make sure that everything is okay. I am really sorry to hear about you're loss. Like I said I would go to the doctor and they should be able to answer all of you're questions and concerns. I had a lot of bleeding with my 2nd prgnancy was conviced that I had miscarried and went to the doctors to find out that my baby was just fine. Not to give you flase hope. I wish only the best for you and you're family.

A.~
I have read just a few the great responses you have already received so I won't offer much more advice. Just let you know that I've been there. My first pregnancy was a miscarriage and an awful one at that. I was too scared to try again and waited for 6 years - I now have a wonderful almost 11 year old daughter. After waiting several more years my husband and I thought we'd try for a second child. Another terrible miscarriage - bleeding, no pain, had three ultrasounds that were all normal. Then on Christmas eve, still bledding had another ultrasound - no more heartbeat. It was devastating. I told my husband I just couldn't go through it again and that was it. We wouldn't have any more or we would adopt. Well, after a D&C in January and regular period in February I was late in March. I couldn't believe how quickly I had gotten pregnant (it had taken many, many months of trying with all of my other pregnancies). And now I have a beautiful 3 1/2 year old little boy who melts my heart everyday. My doctor said that often after a miscarriage women get pregnant quickly. Sort of like their bodies are "primed" and ready. I was advised after both miscarriages to wait through at least one normal menstrual cycle before trying again.

I tell you all of this because I want you to know you are not alone. Unfortunately miscarriages are very, very common. As hard as it is you can't feel guilty, you did nothing wrong. It just happens. It really more amazing that anyone ever gets pregnant at all. There are like a million and one things that have to happen in a very particular and all at precise times and if just one thing isn't just perfect - the result is no pregnancy. You are surrounded by women who have been through this and know how you feel. And all of our hearts and thoughts and prayers go out to you during this very difficult time. And we know you will survive it.

Best wishes!

I am sorry for your loss. I am a nurse, so here is some medical advice. You should definately go see your doctor to confirm the miscariage and if so, make sure everything has been expelled. If there is still tissue inside the uterus, it can cause continued bleeding or infection. Your doctor may feel it is necessary to perform a Dilation and Curettage ("D&C") to thoroughly remove all tissue. This is a day-surgery procedure, so you do not have to stay in the hospital... you are usually discharged about 3-4 hours after the procedure is finished. Most women are able to concieve again after a miscarriage. Your doctor will tell you how long to wait before resuming sexual activity and trying to concieve again... I think about 6 weeks.

Go to the doctor! You may not have lost the baby and if the baby is still there and alive, you need to know that. If you are right, you need to know that too. Sometimes, depending on how far along you are, your body can still imitate a menstral cycle. But, if you're right and a miscarriage occurred, you need to see a doctor to make sure your body expelled the baby. If it hasn't, you could have serious infections to delay the process of getting pregnant again. If this is true, I am sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the anquish you must be having. I have a very good friend who went through 6 miscarriages before getting pregnant with her last child. I'm not sure how long they waited in between to start trying again but, remember to give your body a couple of weeks to heal. If it takes six weeks to heal from a full term pregnancy, I would imagine that to be a close estimate even with a miscarriage. Keep your chin up! I believe, as hard as it is to accept sometimes, these things happen for a reason. Good luck to you and your family.

A. I'm so sorry for your loss and hope you heal emotionally and physically soon and try again.

Best of luck to you.

~Kate

Oh Honey, I am so sorry!

My Aunt went through what you just went through many, many times.

She ended up with a son, after watching my Mom (her younger sister) pop out children left and right (I'm the oldest of them all). My Aunt couldn't help but feel jealous, but tells me that she would do it all again. Every pain and all the suffering for her one blessing. But, also says that she let a few issues get in the way of moving forward in her life that she regrets and she is 64 now, and just patching up the last of her issues.

I see things differently, I am in my 40's and have children and step children. One of my step children is a severly mentally handicapped child. I love her dearly and so does father, mother, siblings, and so many other family members, and I would never even think about her not being with us. She is the puriest person I know, though a bit of a challenge a lot of the times (a bit of a brat too) : ). I have to tell you that she has made me a better person just knowing her.

But, I am deeply sad sometimes because we can't communicate. She doesn't have the abilities to express herself and live her desires past a 2.5 to 3 year old, but she is now 21 and graduating high school. I often dream of having conversations with her and going places and doing things with her.

But, we can't think about the things we can't change for long. And, we can't all together forget forever either, it's good to want - there is a good reason for it.

I want you to remember and know that there are reasons why women loose their pregnancies and that sweet beautiful child isn't born into this world or doesn't stay with us in this world for very long. And, pregnacies do produce healthy and unhealthy babies (all sweet, beautiful and prescious).

It is the truth, but everything is as it should be too, and never feel like it is your fault! or that there is anything that you could have done differently.

I think it is very important and you should go to see your doctor. You have to take care of yourself.

Don't give up on yourself, your future, your faith or your hope - faith and hope are really all we have in this world. I know that I can't live without them. And, neither can your future or the family and friends that count on you.

God Bless You, and give you peace and strength.

K.

Hello A.,
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your little one. It is very important that you see your doctor. They will check your hormone levels to be sure you are healing appropriately. Please take the time to take care of yourself and your husband. Also, remember that 6 months is a very average, even a bit under the average, amount of time it takes to get pregnant. Also, the loss of this pregnancy does not mean you will not be able to have another healthy pregnancy. Many, many, many women have miscarriages and continue on growing their families.
As far as how long you should wait, talk to your doctor. And please take time to heal emotionally too. Losing a baby should not be underestimated. I'm sending you love today.
L

Hi A., I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your husband are able to talk together about it. If not, make sure to lean on a friend. I would definitely go see your doctor to make sure everything is okay and ask all the questions you're having about when to start again, etc.

A.,

My prayers are with you. I just had a miscarriage myself - and I was 4.5 weeks along as well.

I did go to the doctor and I wanted to share what they did, so that you are informed.

When I went in, my cramps and bleeding had been going on for about 2 hours. They did two blood test - one tested for anemia and the other tested to see if I was pregnant - they really just wanted to know how high the pregnancy hormone was in my blood. It was about 2,000.

They did an ultrasound and they could see the sac and the baby.

They asked me to come back in 48 hours for another blood test. This would test the pregnancy hormone - if I didn't miscarry, the hormone should increase 100% in 48 hours (from 2,000 to 4,000). Otherwise, it would drop.

Over the next 48 hours, I bled a lot. Even though I was barely pregnant, I could see when I passed the baby - sorry, hope this doesn't gross anyone out.

I knew what the blood test would say, but my husband encouraged me to go. Sure enough, the pregnancy hormone had dropped to 105.

Anyway, the advice they gave me was: (1) to come in once a week for a blood test until the hormone was under 5. This would ensure that no tissue remained in my womb, which could cause complications, and (2) to call/go to ER if my bleeding passed through a Maxi pad within one hour or if I felt very faint/light-headed or if I started to run a fever.

They also suggested that I wait until the completion of my next period to start trying again.

I hope this helps - my heart is with you - I'm going through the same thing at the same time. M.