I Dont Know How to Handle This Mom?

do you think she doesn't WANT to go home? Maybe in an abusive relationship? That's weird behavior so I'm wondering if there is more to the story.

Oh gosh that behavior would make me nuts.

Honestly - I would cut ties with her as much as possible. There may be no graceful way to do it though. If necessary, I would be blunt: "Look, this just isn't working out and we are making alternate arrangements for school pick-ups, etc. We don't have time to entertain other adults and I'm uncomfortable with you sitting out in the driveway."

JMO . . .

i'd have seriously considered calling the cops the FIRST time it happened... what's wrong with your husband that he couldn't handle it the first time? were the car doors locked? could he not tell your son "get out of the car now"? i guess i'm confused on why you two have tolerated it this long, why your SON isn't being held somewhat accountable for going with someone other than who he's told to after school, and why the school is allowing someone that's not authorized to pick up your child?

i would say you're sending this other woman mixed signals... if you and your husband truly don't know where your son is, why are you on mamapedia and not calling 911 RIGHT NOW? i'm truly not trying to be rude and hateful, but i'm at a loss...

edited to say: in your update, you say your son is now home? so your husband called and she sent him home? why didn't either of you do that to begin with? if your husband is home at the end of the schoolday, why doesn't he walk to the school and escort your son home? this situation is very unusual, i'm baffled by this other woman's behavior as well as that of you and your husband... anyhow, glad to hear that he is home safe!

Ummmm. Ok-why is she permitted to take your son home from school?? That would be my first and biggest concern. Not sure what kind of school you guys have but the last thing that would EVER happen at my school is for a parent to take home a kid without the other parent's permission. If it were me I would be at the school tomorrow to discuss this and to leave instructions about who can/cannot take my child home. And then to express my serious concern about the saftey of your student population in general.

As for the other mom-I don't want to be harsh on you but really-you are SO letting this happen. She needs to be TOLD OFF. I would not expect to be friends with somebody after they felt my full rage for taking my child when not asked-repeatedly. Even if you don't or can't go off on her like I would you need to have a FIRM discussion with her. But seriously-what I really would do is to not allow my child to play with this boy outside of school. She sounds like a major kook.

You say in your SWH that you never thought about calling the police because it was too extreme???? Yet it didn't seem too extreme to you met this woman for the first time the day your son wouldn't get out of her car??? Did I read that right?? Your son was in a car with a stranger and your husband couldn't get him out of the car so he called you to do it??? And no one called the police??? What the Hell is wrong with you??? I am going to be really not nice to you. You and your husband are the reason that this is continuing. You should have called the police the first time this happened. By not doing so that woman "got away with it" and she is continuing to do so. She should be arrested for kidnapping and you should have your children removed from your home for neglect.

???!!! This is NUTS. What's UP with your school? You can't just pick up any kid at school! Don't they have rules?

Call ASAP and demand that she return your son immediately and make sure the school understands that ONLY your older child is authorized to pick him up!

My first reaction is with regard to your son - he should, at age 8, be old enough to know the rules and follow them. That means no leaving with this lady. Have you discussed this with him?

Secondly, is something wrong with this woman, or are you just not being stern enough? No one takes my child without my permission, and I mean no one. You should be able to put a stop to this. Talk to the school, the woman AGAIN, and your son. Tell her this is not acceptable and that your son does not go with her without your permission - I mean, what is not clear about that statement?

And have your husband step up and make some phone calls and be involved in the protection of your child as well. He may not "make phone calls" but he makes babies - time to be the man of the house and fix the problem. You both need to get on board and talk to who you need to to fix this!

Good luck!

CALL THE POLICE. she is taking your son without your permission - that is KIDNAPPING. Sitting in your driveway after being told to leave = trespassing. Following your son home = STALKING. CALL THE POLICE.

My bff's son is 8. He KNOWS that it would be death to his social life to ever break that kind of rule. If he is to walk home from school, then he is to walk home and not stop for anyone or anything that is not on "the list" of appropriate adults (whether he's off property or not, he should know if he is supposed to go with someone). It concerns me that he would just get in the car with someone. I agree that he should be stuck in a chair at the school office for at least a week (I'm thinking 3) until your husband picks him up or your son gets him, until he can get it through his head that he doesn't get in a car or sit in a car without permission. Consider it grounding or embarrassing him into thinking for himself.
I would forbid him to play with this little boy at all outside of school, and I'm not joking about that at all. No adult is that stupid. She's either mental (in which case you don't want her around him) or she's directly usurping your authority and not respecting your wishes, which to me is very very dangerous. I can't explain that enough---that is very, very dangerous. I am by no means a hovering or overly protective parent, but it is seriously messed up for an adult to start taking liberties and usurping parental authority. PM me if you want to know why.
I would phone her when you are off work and say "Listen, what happened today is NOT ok. I cannot understand how you would think that is ok, when you won't even leave your own son for a playdate, then I KNOW that you know it is not ok to take someone's child without permission. Because of this breach of trust, let me tell you in no uncertain terms that you will not be allowed to contact my son, or come near him, or follow him at all. He will not be able to play outside of school with your son. This has upset us greatly and I'm sure you can see why. If I ever hear of you making contact with my son, I will call the police." I would call the police department and request to put it on record somewhere---I would want someone to something odd has happened, though not pressing charges at this time, and to let them know you have made that phone call and exactly what you said so it can be known that you were VERY CLEAR in what was to happen now.

CALL THE COPS! This is ridiculous. This woman is crazy and you don't know what the heck she could do to your son. You are grossly irresponsible if you continue to let this happen! No offense but I would be way more aggressive over my kids safety than you are and thats a little scary.

added** this really does seem like it's made up. What parent in their right mind would allow this woman to pick her kid up from school more than once?!

I would tell her in NO uncertain terms that is she EVER takes your son again without your express consent you WILL call the police. Tell the school that your son is NOT allowed to go home with this woman. And tell your son he is NOT to go anywhere with her again; his friend can come to your house to play (if you want), but he is not allowed to go there anymore.

I dont understand this at all. You said the first time you met her, your son was in her car? Ummm, No. WHY is she able to bring him home from school? So basically anyone can pick your son up from school. Why havent you called the school? I would be LIVID if my child was picked up from school from someone that didnt have permission. Wow, Im really glad my kids school is not like that.

Your son is old enough to know better than to go home with her, so you need to be having a talk with him also. If your husband is unemployed, then can't he pick him up from school so this won't happen anymore??

First of all - your son is old enough to know better than to go with her anywhere and that is where I would start!! It sounds like you have already told her that this is unacceptable behavior, but have you told your son? He should know that he is not to leave the school with anyone other that his brother. (or you.....) unless you direct him otherwise ahead of time.

I would be flaming mad. I am not sure what I would say to her, but I would bet that I would not be seeing or hearing from her again.....seems to me that she is pretty protective of her own son and will not even leave him over for a playdate without sitting in the drive way - so she should understand where you are coming from. I don't know why she is having such a hard time comprehending, but I would make it pretty damn clear to her that she is not to have my son in her car or take him somewhere EVER AGAIN!!!

It is too bad that your son and her son will probably not be able to see each other outside of school because of her actions and disrespect. I hope that you get things figured out and that your son is ok.

What does your son say about getting in her car? He should be the one you stress the importance about this to. He should know to double check with you or dad about going somewhere with her or anyone.

She can't take him places if he won't get in the car. I would set up a punishment for him for listening to her and not you.
It does sound like a scary situation. After I made sure my son "got it" I would let her know that if it happens again you are calling the cops. It can be considered kidnapping.
***
Yeah, I bet tempers got flared. Good for you. There really no way out of that one without offending someone.

She sounds mentally unstable. Have you called the cops yet? She has basically kidnapped your son. In fact, she has done it several times in the past by picking up your son at school without your knowledge or consent. You have talked to her and tried to establish your boundaries but she's obviously not getting it. Call the cops now. Probably your son is safe and will be return to your house soon but that's not the point. The point is that this should have never occurred in the first place.

Oh yeah, make sure you call the school first thing on Monday morning and advise them about this woman's erractic behavior and make sure that they are not to release your son to this woman at anytime ever again. Also explain to both of your sons that they are no longer allowed to go anywhere with this woman or get in her car without your expressed permission. You need to also talk to your sons about the rule where they are supposed to get out of a car when you tell them to.

Please post a So What Happened and let us know what is going on with your son. Keeping you and your son in my prayers.

ADDED: Just saw your SWH. Your sons need to know that they are never to get in anyone's car without your permission. Doesn't matter if they know that person. This is an appropriate rule for an 8-year old.

Wow!!!!!

The woman is weird. I think you should tell her, "Don't ever take my son without permission again." And you should also say, "I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with you sitting in your car in my driveway."

If that means the boys never play together again, then so be it. That's pretty bizarre behavior on her part, and taking someone's child without asking is unconscionable.

You'll have to be the judge on this, but her behavior shows such a lack of judgment that I don't think I'd want my kid at her house at all.

This is NOT ok!!! You need to dissolve this relationship immediately and I think I would be calling the police about a possible restraining order. She is completely out of bounds to pick up your son and take him some place without your permission. Good luck with this. I would be LIVID!!!
A.

I must not be as nice a person as I have always thought, either that or you are a saint...because I would have been Furious the first time someone picked my child up from school without my permission, and the second time anything even remotely inappropriate had happened concerning my child at the hands of the same adult they would not have ever forgotten the ear full they would have received from me. I would go so far as to warn the woman that if it happens again you will call the police. I would contact Both the school and the police and let them know what has already occurred. Making it known to the school that she does not have your permission to pick up your son is something you should have done after the first incident.

She seems like the kind of person that you have to be very blunt and straight forward with. You can not pick up my child without permission or I'll call the police. And if she's on your property and won't leave, tell her to get off your property or call the police. I wouldn't allow my child around a psycho like that. Good luck!

W.I.E.R.D.!
Really, she just picks your son up and doesn't take him home without telling you?? She sits in your driveway and doesn't knock on your door or come in and chat with you?
She sounds really really wierd. I don't mean to panic...but it almost sounds like "grooming".
Maybe, since school is close, than you could walk with him...or is there someone else at the school that can walk home with him? You can also talk with the school and let them know that that woman is NOT allowed to pick your son up.
I just think it's creepy...you are right to be concerned. You may just have to get mean.
L.

Oh dear.......if you have talked to this mom before then my solution (if I were in this situation) is my son would no longer be allowed to play with her boy outside of school.

And it sounds like you are going to have to get your son's teacher or school involved in this to make sure she doesn't take your son home from school.

OH NO SHE DIDN"T! If I were you I would call the cops the next time she picks him up from school without permission. Or wont let your son out of the car in the driveway. I honestly think you have tried hard enough trying to talk with her. She is leaving you no choice but to call the law. She is acting as if she is your sons parent. I don't know how you haven't blown up at her yet. You are a better woman then I am I would have lost it the 2nd time.

I would def talk to your son let him know under any circumstances he is not allowed to get in her car.

Good luck

You have a lot of responses but I cannot resist chiming in, so here it goes:

Why the heck is your son not minding you or your DH? I am baffled that this was ALLOWED to continue. Your son should be in hot water over him not getting out of the car after his dad told him to a few times then you had to come home & have him get out of the car, this is terrible!! THEN your son continues to go home with her in her car & not wait for his brother, OMG my kids would NEVER think of continually disobeying me. But the kicker is that you continue to let the boys play.

Honestly, this womans behavior is strange but I also question your parenting, maybe I'm missing something but I am still baffled about how you could continue to allow this all to happen

You must tell her and the school she is NOT to take your child ever.
You must back it up with actions, including phoning the police, if she does.

Enough people have already said enough about not allowing this woman to be anywhere near your son or your home ever again - and about calling the cops.

You need to teach your son to only get into someone's car if they give an agreed-upon code word. If the person in the car does not give the special code word, your son does not get in. At 8 years old he should understand the danger of getting into anyone's car who tells him to, even if he knows them.

I didn't read all of your responses, but I'm glad you know this lady is crazy. I don't think you're a bad mom--she's just crazy. I'm sure you told your son not to get in the car with her anymore. Hopefully it is over:)

Okay, you've gotten 40 responses and I am not going to read them all. You probably are sick of the answers, but I say ...... go with your gut here. You are uncomfortable with this woman.

8 years old is old enough to get the rules. Time to put this on your son. If he gets in the car with her then he pays the consequences, etc...

Be upfront and tell this woman you think the kids need a break from each other. Your son has not followed your rules and either has she. Be upfront.

Again, follow your gut. Something is amiss.

I would've called the authorities as soon as she took off w/your son. That's kidnapping...even IF she was going to bring him back, she still did not have your permission. If this starts happening again, definitly have someone from the authorities talk to her & take care of it & see if that helps. If it's all done & over with for good then great, you solved your problem but just be wary that while it's overwith now, it very well may start up later on. It may not of course but there's always a possibility. Best wishes!

I wouldn't dismiss the school. People are asking because the school can help you keep your child safe. You need to act on this in a strong clear manner, it means keeping your child SAFE and the school is a logical place to start! Let them know who has your permission to take him in the form of a letter (we actually have forms we fill out at the beginning of the year) Ask that he wait in the school office for his brother so someone sees that he is safe. Personally I would have called the police if someone took my child and filed a restraining order. You have said this woman is strange and has odd behavior. Do you know how odd? How strange or how far she will go? I don't think you can know until it's too late. She already took your son without letting your husband know! I recommend being VERY strong with her. You DON'T need to give her excuses YOU are his parents. As far as the phone call to her my suggestion is to ask the police for advice on how to proceed. If you do call follow up with a letter. Communication with her should be - You are not to talk to my son or take him ANYWHERE. I am currently consulting the police and school about this situation and will press charges, get a restraining order or whatever I need to do to if this doesn't end immediately. DON'T answer any questions from her, this call is for her information and for YOU to control. You are the parents and that is that. Role play this if you need to so you are ready and unwavering. She is NOT your friend or someone you need to be polite to, she LOST that priviledge by the way she is acting.

About coming home from school. Make sure your sons know they are to be together no matter what! They need to understand her behavior is NOT OKAY and they shouldn't go off with someone you have asked not to interfere with your family. When my brother and I were little it was impressed up on us to watch out for each other. It wasn't always fun or convenient but we did it. They may not like it but hey that's a good life lesson, you do for your family to keep them safe. Your Mama Bear instinct is speaking to you! Let Mama Bear out NOW! Let her ROAR and take a few swipes at this crazy person!

Cut off this mom IMMEDIATELY. Call the school and let them know that under absolutely no circumstances should your son get in a car with her.

I think you and your husband have been very patient, but obviously, she doesn't get it and you either have to say "the next time you take my kid without asking, we WILL file charges", or just say "no more playdates because we have asked you not to do this and yet you still do".

What an awkward situation... Take charge because you are right- he is only eight years old and this IS NOT okay!!! Good luck and please keep us posted on what happens!

I'm sorry if I am wrong, since it was a little tough for me to follow the situation, but where is your son now? If I was your husband and saw the car gone and your son, I would have called the police!

I understand if she might be uncomfortable with her son at your house alone without parental supervision, but then she should just wait to bring him over after you or your husband are home.

I don't get how the school will let her take your son home if you did not send a note. It just does not make sense to me. What right does this woman have to take your son off school property?

I think I would just lay it out for her on the phone call with bullet points such as:

What right do you have taking MY son off school property?
What right do you have taking MY son from his own home without telling us?
Who do you think you are telling my husband that his son is sitting in the car doing homework and not listening to him?

This woman does not seem stable. Again, I may have misunderstood what you were saying and I am NOT criticizing you in any way! I would just be flipping out! You should tell your son to stay away from her and also notify the school that she is NOT to take you son off school property.

Good luck!

I did not read all the responses, but honestly, based on the SWH, I think this situation is beyond speaking to the mom. I think you need to lay some ground rules - with your son - that in no uncertain terms is to enter this woman's car for any reason!!

This whole thing sounds creepy. She is a mom, what is she thinking? Not asking for permission before taking your son from anywhere to anywhere?? How she treats your son is how she treats her own and IMO there is a definate lack of caring here.

I'd keep an extra close eye on your son. Something does not seem kosher here. Sorry.
~C.

I would seriously consider getting a restraining order against this woman. She sounds like a nutcase and has a weird obsession with your son. Her behavior is really disturbing and NOT normal especially if you and your family have been setting boundaries and telling her not to come around and not to drive your son around. Next time she comes around, file a complaint with the police and then get a restraining order.

Yikes. I think this woman has some kind of mental illness or social disability - she clearly does not have the ability to pick up social cues that are anything but blatantly obvious. I suspect she's probably got some type of Asperger's Syndrome - she just doesn't connect to people, she doesn't "get" social norms - it's like a foreign language or secret code that she just can't understand.
Unlike most other posts here I don't think she's a harm to your son - I think she's just emotionally dysfunctional. BUT - I am with the other posts in that the "going home from school" guidelines that you've established must be followed - no exceptions. I suspect that the reason she's stuck on your son is that other moms have found her behavior so odd that their kids aren't allowed to play with this boy. Write up the rules for your son,set up a code word that anyone other than you, dad or brother who picks him up has to first use - like "chocolate chip cookies", or "rainbow unicorn" before he'll go with them. If needed show the rules to this other mom. Tell her that you're pretty strict and all playdates must be at your house.

Good luck. Somehow I end up beign a magnet for odd people too - you must be very compassionate - but you do have to protect your kid.

I am going to ammend what I said. You need to DEFINITELY press charges for all the times. You need to call the police. It's absolutely wrong to allow your son to walk home. This woman is unhinged and one day he'll be missing.

The next time my son gets in your car-I will call the police in order to protect you-because the second time, I won't call the police-I will handle it myself.

I do think it would be a good idea to call the police and let them know what has happened. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOU CAN REMEMBER AS WELL!

And I also suggest calling the school. They should be made aware of the situation too.

Good luck.

PS> Your husband is laid off? He should be picking the kids up at school and walking them home himself. ESPECIALLY with this kind of stuff going on!

I think that if this lady actually took off with your son you would second guess your thinking that calling the cops is a little "extreme".
There is no one anywhere that would think it ok to pick up someone else's child without permission! You need to get the school involved and the police. It simply is not ok for her to do that. You are not over reacting, infact I think you are under reacting at this point. If this lady is going though a divorce and doing weird things, you haven't a clue when she may go off the deap end.

I think in addition you need to go over the rules of your house very clearly with your son. If he gets into her car and goes off without anyone knowing, he is in danger of going off with anybody who might say, "I'm a friend of your mom's and she's hurt. Come with me." End of kid.

I think that while she was very weird and her behavior was wrong, it is also something you need to teach your son, too. He needs to not go off on his own without permission. If someone followed my son home, I would be looking for ways to stop it. While I get that there may be language or other barriers, it still doesn't mean it's OK. I worked with a guy who has autism and he could still understand that you don't do certain things.

You don't want to be mean, but at some point your family comes first.

That would really scare me - it seems strange to me. It sounds like you have tried to do the reasonable thing, invite her in, talk to her, offer alternatives. I would definitly talk to the school and let them know the situation and that is not ok for your son to go with her or be picked up by her. I hope it all works out ok, sounds like unfortunately you are going to have to be more aggressive in telling her to back off.

Wow, this is so weird it almost seems made up. It is time to stop being nice. (actually, that time came awhile ago.) I understand we want to get along with our neighbors and childrens parents, but this lady has no common sense and is deliberately going against your wishes.

You need to call her today and tell her very clearly: "My children are not allowed to get in your car. No matter what. Do not pick them up from school. If this happens again, it will be a problem."

Next, you need to call the school and make sure they know this lady is NOT allowed to pick your kids up from school. I would not put it past her checking them out of school at this point!

Honestly, if it were me, I would be past encouraging or allowing my children to play with hers anytime besides at school. It just does not seem likely that it will work out. If you do want the kids to remain friends, though, you need to make it very very clear to her: "Our kids can play, however you need to call us to set it up with us 24 hours in advance. We have busy schedules and this is what will work best for us." If she hangs out in your driveway again, be very very clear with her. No hints. "Hello, Mrs. __, we are very busy right now and it is time for you to go home. See you later". If she keeps up with the creepy behavior, please talk to your police dept. Good luck.
**Added: Please also talk to your kids ASAP they are not allowed to ever get in someone's car, without your permission. You might consider setting up a safety password for if you ever have someone else pick them up.

First of all without reading any other response, I am appalled that you would allow her to even take your son more than ONCE to any venue EVEN after being told. I would have to get real firm and report her as being a nuisance. I would not feel comfortable with that unless she was open enough to explain her reasoning behind this mess.

Your son is old enough to be told to not get in this woman's car. Yeah, she's weird, but you can't change her, but you can lay ground rules with your child, that he is to either walk him with friends and brother, but not get in her car. Seriously, you son needs to be disciplined for disobeying. She isn't forcing him into her car.

I would definitely talk to her face to face about this. She obviously doesn't know it's bothering you. Yeah, it's weird, but you have allowed it to go on.

wow serious weirdo. Put a stop to her spending time with or picking up your son. Explain it to her. Tell her straight out not to even think of offering or asking your son to ride in her car. Who does homework in a car anyways? I would also speak to the principal or vice principal and school counsellor. They should be aware of her behavior. Maybe they already are? Did she talk when she was in your home? I wonder what is up in her mind, to make her think that any of this, in any way could be ok?

I would approach the school and ask that my son stays in the office until his ride is there whether it's his older brother, you, or your husband. Tell them what's she's doing and that you can't get her to stop. It may be that you'll have to enroll him in after school care for a short time just to get the message to her.

I didnt read through ur answers but just after your follow up I just want u to know that it was a very odd situation and hell all I would say is tell your son not to get in the car with her and I would tell her she needs to speak to someone because she has issues, clearly major boundry issues. I wouldn't let her around but it makes you wonder what is up with her. I'm glad to see that the boys can still play together. Hope she doesn't start being wierd to another kid whose parents are less concerned. We need to face it when women act wierd about kids that aren't theirs this is cause for concern. Good Luck you seem like very involved parents.

Sorry, you should have nipped this in the bud after the 2nd incident. You allowed it to go on and she probably thought nothing was odd about her behavior. #1 you should have told her point blank not to bring your son home from school and notified the school and put it in writing. Anyway, I'm glad no one got hurt.

My husband is a cop and I am quite sure he would say, "Call the police." Begin logging what she does and each time you have an issue call police right away. You need to have a record of what is going on. I would contact the school and make sure they understand that under no circumstances is she to take your son anywhere. I would also discuss with your younger son that he cannot be in her car ever. If she tries to get him to enter her car he is to go to the nearest adult and tell them to call you right away. This is crazy!!

I would totally call the cops.
What happens if this happens just one more time, and snaps and doesn't bring him back? Doesn't pick her her phone when you call? Takes him God knows where? If she's stressed with the divorce, isn't handling stuff well, and obviously isn't getting what you and your husband are telling her, she can totally snap and do something even more extreme.
I would call her and tell her just one more time and the cops will be called.
Maybe saying those words will snap her into reality.
Good Luck.

This woman is a f***ing lunatic.

Report her to the school, report her name/car/license plate number/address to the police as well as a picture of her (if you have).

You don't know her motives. Do you know her history? She may have lost a child and is trying to "replace" him with yours. Ok, I watch too much tv, but you never know.

For now i would make sure that you pick your son up. That way there is no reason for her to come to your house.

I know in your update that you said you handled it with her ex-husband, but I would pick your sons up from school for the rest of this school year. I just would. If she makes any more moves in spite of her ex-husband's attempts to control her, I would take out an order of protection against her to force some boundaries.

My first call would be to the school, I CANNOT understand that they would let your son go home with someone who is not authorized to pick him up.
Make it 100% to the school officials and your son that he is NOT to get in her car EVER again. If your hubby is unemployed and your sons are walking home from school and he should be picking them up.

Frankly this person would totally creep me out. Sitting in your driveway, seriously?! I would think about a restraining order and stop the playdates. I know it sucks for the kids, but this is just not normal...better be safe than sorry.

I must say I am a little confused, when you say the first time you meet this women was really at your driveway after she drove your son and didn't let go even after your husband ask her to? It sounds like you already knew the boy but maybe not the mother? I don't understand why you let her get away with this more then once, even if she was your friend (which obviously she is not) this would still not ok to take your son without telling you specially after your husband told her she would take them out, I would have being freaking out, called the police and probably slap her when she went back.
Anyway, she sound very very weird but taking your son away from your house without saying anything I would considerate unforgivable.
I am glad you talk to her but if I was you, I really would keep her away from my kid completely.
I also think is important to talk to your son and let him know that he is not allow to get in other people's car without asking you and totally not leave your house with anybody either.
This must have being very scary, I am glad it all end well, hopefully she would understand and keep her distance, other way I would call the police.

I had a hard time following this and I see you have postesd a what happened, which has confused me even more.

When i read your post (and i read it twice!) My first thought was I COULD BE THAT LADY. Here is why, maybe I pick my son up and he says "oh there is my freind from next door Joey and he for what ever reason needs, wants or accepts to be polite a ride from me. So now i have my kid and your son -Joey in the car, and pull in the driveway, and it seems as if no one is home, so i decide to stay and makesure there is a responsibe adult. SOME GUY comes over and i have no idea if this is dad or some scary perv and for some reason Joey isn't expressing any desire to get out of the car and go with scary guy, and scary guy for what ever reason isn't making it known in a convencing way that he actually is dad and wants joey in the hosue. Finally you come home from work and since either i recognize you or Joey finally says "hey that's my mom" and convinces me that it is safe to let him go, i leave. I"m not sure how i follow that this keeps happening unless i just don't trust you to parent Joey safely and i'm keeping an eye on him before i call CPA on you, But then i'm confused on why i would let my son go into your house and play with Joey, hmmm. Weird Weird situation all the way around. Hope you get this resolved.

I would keep my distance from her. This is not the type of child I would want near my child.

Got to say this woman is bad news. I would be so nervous to let my son outside now. I would be afraid that she would take my son and run away. What a weirdo!!!

I really like what Nicole P. said, it's probably what I would do.

Hope this never happens again. What a scary situation! I wish you the best. Please talk to your son and tell him that he should not be getting into peoples cars. Even people he knows. Unless he has your permission to do so, he should be with his brother while walking home.

Wow, that would really freak me out. I'm not sure if it's time to call the cops although since she just took off with your son without asking, it may be. Especially since you don't really know her, if I understand correctly? And could you clarify how she's able to pick your son up from school? At my children's school, they're not allowed to leave with anyone unless that person has been previously authorized on the forms (to clarify, we live in smaller town, not a huge city, and there are only 100 students that attend BUT that is the smallest school in our community and ALL of the schools has this procedure so I can't see a school NOT having it). If they're unsure, the school will call to verify or have me come down. Have you notified the school she's not allowed to pick up your son? If you have, they're being very lax and you need to complain. If you haven't, why ever not!? I would tell her to stay away from your son and your property or the authorities will become involved. It seems like you've tried to make overtures of friendship and she's rebuffed you. She's not in a position of trust so this needs to be taken care of, even if she actually means no harm to your son, which I'm sure she doesn't. But he's too young for anyone, especially someone you don't know well and don't trust, to be just taking him without a by your leave.

I think first you need to go to your son's school. Speak to a guidance counselor or principal or someone in authority. Reveal to them that a stranger has removed your child from the school. Set in place some kind of system where your son waits in the office or something.

Then you need to take action in other directions as well. There are two kinds of restraining orders: one is for someone you have a relationship with or who legally has access to your home, like a spouse, etc. The second is for persons who are stalking you or threatening you but with whom you have no legal relationship. You need to go to the police station immediately and report that a teacher (a person in an authority position in the town) has taken your child from school grounds and sits in your driveway and illegally takes your son from his home.

Do NOT worry about her situation; worry about your child. Even if you think she won't call again because your husband yelled at her, you can't predict what she will do in the future if her situation gets worse. Protect other children! Think about that! She may move on to someone else, and you will know that you could have prevented a tragedy. Calling the police when someone has kidnapped your child is not extreme!!!!

I would report him kidnapped.

I mean, you talked to her and she has not made any changes and continues to take your sone without permission. Can you trust that she will keep him safe if she is just taking him willy nilly?

sounds like the police need to get involved....I would've freaked out if my son came home in someone else's car without my knowledge or permission.

I would be INCENSED with the school!!! They should NOT be releasing your child to ANYONE who is NOT on the pick up list - if she's on the pick up list - she needs to be removed - IMMEDIATELY - this MUST STOP NOW!!! This IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!! (I know - you agree) just making the point - I would FREAK! And I don't panic - I teach my kids not to panic - but I would FREAK! I would've called 911 if my son was gone like that.

Your son must be told that he is NOT get into ANY car without YOUR permission - NO ONES - you will contact him at school if there is a change in plans and make a password that's only known to you guys - so that he KNOWS it's right and okay - so this other W. cannot say "Your mom called me and said it was okay"...if it was - then she would know the password!

Now, to handle the phone call? This isn't a phone call situation - this is a face-to-face situation. I don't know who would think that - this W. NEEDS to be confronted face-to-face - so there is NO BONES about the lines she has crossed. If it happens again - call the police. She needs a wake-up call. GOOD LUCK!!