I Cannot Believe I Just Did This

So tragic, ice cream is such a special treat!

I bought groceries the day before we were having guests over for dinner. I went to make dinner the next day, and oh my gosh, where is the raw chicken, and gallon of milk? It was in my car... had slid under the seats. Deee-sgusting.... especially in a hot Texas summer.

Last night I was making dinner and grabbed the big jar of sauce that i just bought. This was enough for 2 or 3 pots of spaghetti. I somehow dropped it.....sauce everywhere! under the cabinet, in the cabinet, on the wall, stove, dishwasher......luckily there was still enough for one pot in the jar. Yeah, ultimate mess

I call it the Great Jello Incident of 1997.
I made a large bowl of ORANGE Jello & was walking to put it into the fridge to set (door to fridge was already opened and it always did the s-l-o-w close) & I thought I could make it. Door knocks the bowl out of my hands and I had orange jello EVERYWHERE--floor, side of fridge, inside the crisper drawers and ON every food item that was in the fridge. What a mess. I thought for a minute it would actually be better to just get a new fridge. It was hardening as I was cleaning it. I think I found Jello remnants for about two years!

A few weeks ago, I opened a new can of cocoa powder to do some baking. There must have been some pressure in the can as it was sealed. As soon as I pulled back the seal, It POOFED all over my face, hair, clothes, feet, the kitchen....I looked like a cartoon. My girls sat there frozen, just waiting to see what I would do, and I sat there for a minute and then just burst out laughing uncontrollably. Every time I talked, poofs of cocoa powder would go everywhere. I had it in my nostrils even! We had company coming over shortly, too. But damn, was it funny!

I took the time to cut up a huge watermelon in chunks so it would all be ready in the fridge. Sure good idea if I wouldn't have let the stupid door go to fast and knock the entire bowl of sticky watermelon all over the damn fridge and floor and cabinets. I was so mad at myself. Stupid watermelon!

Well, this isn't exactly along the same lines, but it will make you laugh...a friend of mine was at a huge festival in Chicago and used a port-a-potty. As she was exiting, she dropped her purse down the hole...and yes, she fished it out -- up to her elbow. She stepped out of the port-a-potty sobbing in front of hundreds of people. It still makes me laugh and gag when I think about it! Poor thing.

I didn't do it but once my grandmother had a pressure cooker of cranberries (she was making homemade cranberry sauce) explode in her kitchen. The white kitchen was pink and had to be re-painted to get the stains out.

My worst accident was leaving a can of Diet Dr. Pepper in the back seat of my car...it wasn't opened. My husband told me several times to be sure and get it out of my car because of the summer heat in Texas. I will admit in my mind every time he told me I was thinking "blah blah blah" and then said, "Yes, honey I will bring it inside with me next time I go out." Then I promptly put it out of my mind. It was in my car for at least three months.

Then the only day my husband had driven my car all year...it exploded, sounded like a gun shot...I am still amazed my husband didn't wreck the car from the sound alone. It shot up covered the headliner and then rained Dr. Pepper down into the front seat all over my husband...he was wiping it out of his eyes as he drove home. I felt so bad...and my headliner was permanently stained.

not me, but my husbands family decided to spare his grandparents a trip to the pump station and filled a garbage bag with RV sewage to flush down the toilet. Although there was more sewage than expected and the whole thing went south when someone thought to put a knife to the bottom of the bag as a good method of draining the contents into the toilet. But the whole thing burst open and onto the bathroom floor.

tupperware container accidentally left in the back seat of my car in the summer....then I slammed on the brakes and the whole thing exploded....very very nasty. Nothing quite like have to drive 2 hours in 100 degree heat with rotten eggs, potatoes and mayo.....Huge mess to clean up.

Ugh my husband one time tried to blend apples in the blender. Well he didn't get the lid on all the way it shot off. So when I came home there was apple everywhere. On the walls, the ceiling, the counters, just EVERY FREAKING WHERE. He only cleaned the stove and the one counter and left the rest, which of course dried and was twelve times as hard to get off. The worst was that we had tiled walls in the kitchen and the tiles were tiny, like two inch by two inch squares, it took me forever to get that apple out of the grout. Grrr.

Once when I was dating this guy he told me he really wanted some chocolate pudding. So after I got off work I went to the store and left some in the drivers seat of his car for him. Surely he would see that right? Nope he just hopped in an SPLAT chocolate pudding explosion. The next day he came into work and I asked him what was on his hat answer....pudding! Ahhh he was a putz anyway.

Romantic dinner - not! Steak and fries, but did not realize
the ice crystals in the fries would make the deep fryer oil explode all over everything, including the open toaster, stove, canisters. Smoke alarm went off and steaks burned while I was cleaning it up, Ick!

I dropped a six-pound lasagna on the floor, which of course splattered all over the ceiling, the cabinets and under the island and the fridge. The kicker...it was 15 minutes before lunchtime and I had 9 hungry daycare kids to feed. All I could do was swear like Yosemite Sam (Raz-a-frazzle!), call the local sub shop that delivers, confess to my mess and ask them to work some frequent customer magic (which they did, lunch was on time) and take a picture to post of Facebook. Couldn't even start cleaning up right away, because the lasagna was fresh from the oven and too hot to pick up with papertowels.

Not as bad but with a twist. I knocked a full box of Corn starch out of the cupboard. What I didn't know is the static shocks you would get trying to vacuum that stuff up. Argh!

Back in the 90s-- when "cool" people like us made thier own beer we had our CAT jump into the beer bucket when we were bottling it. My husband had just dumped the HOT primer mix (off the stove) and here comes Stimpy and jumps into the big bucket sitting on the kitchen floor. He was literally in and out within a second. Wet, beer soaked, INSANE cat running thru the house. Beer everywhere!

Since this was almost 20 years ago we didn't have our son yet so our animals were our furry kids. I grabbed the cat to check him for burns and he was just fine. Stinky but fine.

My husband had to make the 'excutive' decision on what to do with the almost $30.00 ingredient investment and he opted to forge on and keep bottling the beer.

Btw, our friends knew the story and named it "Stimpy Stout" and thought it was our BEST batch of beer EVER!

Ah feel your pain!

I dropped a whole uncooked meatloaf with ketchup on top on the floor as I was trying to put the pan in the oven one-handed. It was a huge mess and I cried my eyes out.

Needless to say, we went out to dinner that night!

Making pureed green peas for my baby. I didn't put the blender in securely. It spun around and opened up the bottom. Green puree spilled out the bottom and into the buttons on the blender and just about every where else. Not my finest cooking moment.

Not really my fault but I bought a highly recommended Maytag Refrigerator that required constant repairs. Literally I had it serviced at least once a month for the year that I owned it. The Maytag repairman had even given me his home phone number because it liked to have issues (mostly the ice maker) on Friday evenings before long holiday weekends when we were expecting company.
I HATED that refrigerator even though it was the only one I ever researched and really "shopped" for. I am certain someone at Consumer Reports was sleeping with Mrs. Maytag when they wrote the report on it.
Anyway, I come home from the grocery store one day and start to put the groceries up. The container of milk goes into the fridge door shelf like it is supposed to-and the shelf falls, taking out the shelf below it and the shelf below that one. My daughter drinks soy milk and that container fell and spilled. The pickle jar fell and broke. Ketchup, condiments, butter, eggs all on the ground in a huge stinky mess.
I did not even close the refrigerator door. I stepped over the mess, went into my office and called the Maytag service department. I calmly told the service girl what had happened and to come get the GD refrigeraor NOW. A few moments of "uh, we don't take refrigerators back after a year" and me saying "look at my service record" resulted in a nice manager coming on the phone. That fridge was gone in two weeks, I got a full refund on it and it was truly one of the happiest days of my life.
Soooo.... HUGE mess-food everywhere- but the straw that broke the camel's back! And sometimes out of those horrid moments, a little good shines through. Your ice cream mess will make a good story one day-when you can see the humor in it and not just the extra clothes washing.

.

My foreign exchange stident made stuffed peppers. She put a pyrex 13x9 on the stovetop and turned on the burner, then put cold water in it. I was not really paying attention, she was 16, my 14 yo was in there with her.
The whole pan exploded and there was tomato sauce on our ceiling for months afterwards.
I would think I had it all cleaned then I would look up and yards away there would be a spot.

Not me but my husband. He takes carnation instant breakfast to work in a steel canteen every day. One day he didn't rinse it out very well. When he went to wash the bottle two days later it exploded. The bottle took off across the kitchen like a rocket and even took a chip of paint off the wall. Curdled milk was everywhere. The ceiling behind the stove the floor. I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and the smell of rotten milk was all over the house. I barely made it to the bathroom. It was awful.

Nothing in particular comes to mind, but I'm sure that that's because I have blocked it out. This week I had a day at work on which EVERYthing that I consumed had to spend time on my all-white outfit.

I have two: recently I bought a 1.5 liter jug of raspberry Simply Lemonade and as soon as I got home, it fell on the kitchen floor...yep, that was that!

Apropos of the other homebrewing story...years ago, before we had kids, my husband and I were living in a small "railroad apartment" and kept our carboys (large glass fermentation containers) in the kitchen closet. We had a pretty active raspberry wheat going and it was still blowing off air pressure (this was the first weekend). We went to a street fair at Brooklyn Brewing Company (beer and BBQ)...and just when we were going to head home, I started talking to some Irish guys...

Several MORE beers later, we made our tipsy way home, only to find that the raspberry wheat beer was all over the ceiling of the closet! We were mopping the ceiling, cooking up some steaks, and falling over with the giggles. What a day! (We still tell this story.)

Oh, and after that, we put in a blowoff tube to relieve some of the pressure! The beer turned out great, BTW.

Oh my gosh -- I JUST dropped a full bowl of dinner for the dining room table last night! First time I could remember doing so. It was pasta, cheese, tomatoes. A total mess. Don't know why!! I was sad, but the family was understanding :) Ack --- why did it happen - who knows???

all I have to say is, "yummm.... blue bell.... yummm"... I might have licked it off the floor! just kidding. kind of ;)

Two large messes of note, and both were in the kitchen. The first one occurred when I had just moved out and into my first apartment. I had a friend stay the night and the next morning got to cooking breakfast. I shredded potatoes by hand to make a hearty breakfast, with hash browns and everything! I put the pan of oil on to heat and I got a phone call. It was my father. I put the lid on the pan because it started to fleck at me and continued to converse with my dad. After some time passed I lifted the lid to start adding the shredded potatoes and a shimmering wave of gaseous fumes wafted up in front of me. I thought, "This can't be good." and turned on the over stove vent.

The fumes caught fire starting from the top near the vent and ran all the way down to the oil in the pan in a split second. I had a towering oil fire in my kitchen licking at my cabinets! Panic. Pure panic. I yelled, "My kitchen is on fire dad! Call you back!" then chucked the phone behind me. My mind whirled about how to take care of this catastrophe. Water. I thought I needed water but then no... brain kicked in and said, "If you dump water on a grease fire the flaming oil float around on top and spread all over and then it's game over." Then I thought, "Flour!" but then my brain started to process that. This time to my determent.

Flour dumped all over my stove? What a fracking MESS! I know! I'll take the hot flaming pan right outside onto the cement and dump the flour on it out there! I put my pot holders on and grip the pan's handle and start to walk this towering flaming frying pan through my living room to the front door. My friend leaps off the couch to get the door, but but when he opened it, it brought a small gust of wind which pushed the four foot high flames that danced mere inches away from my arms into my direction. I freaked out and dropped the pan in the middle of my living room.

Shock. I bolted to the kitchen and ripped open the pantry door to grab the flour and realized I didn't have very much, not enough for a problem of this magnitude, but then I saw the large tupperware container filled with salt that I had just bought at Costco the week before. (Salt doesn't ever go bad, right? So why not buy eight million pounds of it for three bucks! What a deal!) I upturned the entire container onto the smoldering mess then sat down and cried. My friend looked at me and said, "Soooo... ihop for breakfast then?"

The frying pan had burnt through the carpet and through the padding below. When I pried it up... what lay below was a devastating mess. I had also splashed hot oil onto one of my boyfriends speakers which ate small holes through the casing giving it a bespeckled look.

A week later I was driving down the freeway when I saw a billboard advertisement that showed a pan with a lid on it and in large bold letters "Put a lid on grease fires!" Thanks. Thanks a lot billboard. Where where you LAST WEEK!

Second mess was far less dramatic but just as scary. I was cooking a casserole in a large pyrex dish. The timer went off so I opened the stove all the way and removed the dish. Before I could set it on top of the stove to cool, it exploded. There's no other way to explain what happened. The dish just disintegrated in my hands with a bang showering broken safety glass and dinner onto the open lid of the oven, onto the floor, onto me... just everywhere.

My husband raced down the stairs to find me standing in a sea of cullinary horror. Splatters everywhere. Glass everywhere. He asked me what happened and I said, "I'm not really sure. It just... exploded. It was supposed to be tempered glass! It's PYREX for cripes sake!" Then I started crying, afraid to take a step since I was bare foot and I didn't want to step on the glass. I stood there weeping as my husband started cleaning the mess up around me. To this day I'm always afraid to pull a Pyrex dish out of the stove quickly. I always turn off the heat and let it sit there for a while with the stove open before I pick it up, just in case I managed to be lucky enough to purchase another booby trapped dish.

When attempting to make a smoothie, didn't realized the parts to my blender were not screwed in...they were just sort of resting together. Sounds like your ice cream mess. There was smoothie all over the entire kitchen, even on the ceiling!!!

I have loved reading the other stories so far!

I was in the check out line at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago. My three year old son decides to help and get things out of the cart and put them on the belt. Well, he misses and a glass jar of minced garlic shatters on the floor. Embarrassing! And what a lovely smell to leave for the other customers. The staff at the store were awesome. No dirty looks or anything. I have to say though that it's no fun having this happen with a whole line of people watching you!

Was kid-sitting my 5.5yo grandson at his house one morning recently. He volunteered to make us scrambled eggs. "That's a great idea!" says I, still occupied with unpacking my granny bag. Before I realized it, he had run to the fridge to get out the eggs.

Terrible, wet, crunching sound ensues. "Oh, dear!" says I. "That didn't sound so good…".

By the time I made it across the kitchen, all but one egg from a new, 18-egg carton was oozing down every refrigerator shelf, out the door, onto the floor, and under the appliance. Grandson looks up at me sheepishly and says, "I should have used two hands."

Well, I should have realized he was going for the eggs.

sorry, but i had to laugh...mine was a few weeks back when i was sick and super exhausted, twins were both cranky and crying and hungry, my toddler was running around like a crazy person and I was trying to get a bottle made as fast as i could. in the middle of putting on the nipple with the little disk thing so you can shake it, my toddler fell and bumped his head so I stopped the bottle making to go check him out and give him some hugs. went back to the kitchen, picked up the bottle, and proceded to begin the shaking to mix it together.....lid was not on, and formula went everywhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for those of you who dont use formula, for some unknown reason formula can be soooooooo sticky if you dont get it cleaned up right away....it was such and mess plus not to mention a whole bottle wasted...i wanted to sit down and cry.

UGh. Sorry to hear that L.. Dropping a bottle of sesame oil not too long ago was the worst. It was greasy and spread everywhere including under the stove. HAve you ever smelled sesame oil? It took a while to rid our house of that one. Chin up. A three day weekend is around the corner!

Once a gallon jug of cranberry juice broke in the trunk of the car!

OMG L., I have done that SAME exact thing!
So funny, but not funny.
I can relate!
;)

Oh I have made SOOO many lol... I have dropped a bottle of ketchup (plastic) that somehow shattered, dropped a gallon of milk that burst, dropped a pot of cooked pasta (bye bye dinner), dropped a container of yogurt that splattered EVERYWHERE... as you can see I drop things often, lol

I was baking one of 8 layers for a wedding cake. I worked long days, so each night I baked one layer late at night, and put it in the freezer in the morning. One night after 11 o'clock I screamed so loud that I'm sure the whole neighborhood shook. I dropped a 16" layer SPLAT all over the kitchen floor. Did I mention it was chocolate fudge cake, the bride's messy favorite? My husband just stayed in the living room, saying nothing, sure that I'd harm anyone who came into the kitchen. He is a very smart man. P.S. The wedding and the cake were wonderful.

The worst mess I've had to clean up was when my son dropped a glass jar of applesauce on the kitchen floor. Silly me, I thought having the applesauce coating the glass would make it easier to see. Nope! After sweeping and mopping the floor three times each, I was sure enough that I got it all. Came into the kitchen barefoot the next day and promptly stepped on a small glass shard. So then I got a flashlight and took an hour shining the light over every inch of the floor and found about 10 more pieces of glass. One of which was in the next room!

The one time I actually cried over spilling something was the day before my son's 2nd birthday. I had baked his cake and spent an hour decorating it with a Cars theme. As I go to move it to the table, the tray the cake was on slips out of my hand and down goes the cake, decorated side down. I stared at it in disbelief and then burst into tears. I hadn't even gotten a picture. I already had a big cleanup with all of the icing bags and tips and then I had to clean up the cake on the floor too. My son finally did get his cake, but it was a day late and was not nearly as elaborately decorated as before!

Orange soda explosion... in the kitchen...
Need I say more?
LBC

My papa is first generation, and comes from a long line of meticulous Russians (Georgians actually). He LOVES order. It gives him incredible pleasure to see sparkling surfaces and organized tools. It's his thing. He freaks out when everything isn't in it's place.

My husband is quite the opposite. He flies by the seat of his pants, and doesn't see mess.

Five years ago they met for the first time. They got along famously (both have a crass sense of humor and a "to-hell-with-what-they-think" attitude.) I was sighing a breath of relief. Phew, this is going over well, I thought.

And then my husband started to make a snack of anchovies and crackers. As he pulled the can open, he lost his grasp, and the *entire* thing went flying into the air, landing twenty feet over onto the carpet. The oily juices trailed behind in all direction. On the painting. On the piano. On the bookshelf. On the floor. On the *carpet*. Little specks of stinking fish oil. Everywhere.

Ugh.

It took a long time to clean up to my dad's standards. Now it's a funny story that I (sort of) laugh at remembering ;-)

Hope your week gets better!

Ugh. NO FUN.
Transferring my husbands homemade spaghetti sauce from the huge pot to the sink to put into tupperware containers. Did not know my daughter was standing right behind me! She was fine but the way i had to turn n fall to avoid her...huge SPLAT! I have amaretto creme cabinets n same color backsplash. NOT COOL!!! I bet there is still crusts of sauce under cabinets and under over range microwave!!! GROSS!!!

That is SO something I would do!!

DH knocked my flavored coffee syrup out of the pantry, and it proceeded to break all over my tile. It was a messy combo of broken glass AND syrup. It was awful to clean up.

UMM...when I was on the phone and not paying attn. to my then almost 2 yr. old who decided to help himself and the dog to a freshly baked red velvet cake. When I heard the giggling and turned around, there was cake all over my son, the dog and my kitchen floor, walls and ceiling. You see, he was feeding the dog by throwing it at him!! I had to bathe the kid, the dog and my kitchen!!
Remember, honey, this too shall pass!! Have a great weekend!
KP

I am a nurse and was working at a summer camp for disabled children one summer. As I was preparing medicine I was trying to get the air out of the measuring syringe and Senakot went everywhere. It is a brown liquid used to help with bowel movements. I had quite the mess to clean up.

So sorry!
A few times when my husband has gone in the freezer for ice cream, I've found the melty ice cream in the fridge the next morning! It's been several years since he's done that--he's really embarrassed about it, especially after I teased him mercilessly for weeks...

Twice I've knocked the laundry detergent out of the grocery cart and the container broke on the floor. I have no idea how it broke--both times it was on the bottom shelf of the cart, so it didn't fall far! (I guess HEB Bravo brand makes easy-to-break containers!)

And when I turned my back in the grocery store to get something out of the freezer, my 2-year-old grabbed the eggs out of the cart (still can't believe he could reach so far in the cart) opened the carton, and dropped and broke each and every one into my full cart of groceries!

You had to throw away BLUE BELL ICE CREAM? That is a travesty! I am from Austin, but I live in Michigan now. NO BLUE BELL ice cream up here! It's awful. And to hear that some was wasted. What a shame. Can you scrape some of it off your floor and mail it to me?

Just yesterday I had some expected guests drop by. I put a few hot Diet Cokes in the ice machine to chill them faster and then pulled them out later to find that two had exploded in the ice compartment, spewing DC all over the frozen food. Everything needed a good wipedown.
Last Thanksgiving, we fried some turkeys. To recycle the oil, I put it in the back of my SUV in its original 5 gallon plastic jug, without the lid. Well, the oil splashed all over the carpet and RUINED it. We tried cat litter, shampooing multiple times, still limited success. My car still smells slightly like turkey on a hot day.

Dropping an open can of red paint on light brown carpet.......yikes theres just no cleaning that up

O, I have so many...but I think the one that sticks out most...I had made a LOADED taco pizza and I always bake the crust a little first, so it's not doughy. Well, got the crust out of the already HOT oven, loaded it up w/ everything you can put on a taco pizza (this was a 16" deep dish pan.) and as I went to put it BACK into the oven, it slipped and landed upside down in the hot oven!!!!! I looked at it, left the oven open and walked out of the kitchen (I was not a mama yet!) Bless my husband, who cleaned it up while I sat at the top of the stairs and cried! What was funny...I had enough of everything except cheese to reload the crust and make a second pizza! We ran to grocery store and bought the cheese and had a pizza anyway! But that was after my husband got on me for having a temper tantrum! LOL!

Mine's not so messy but it seems like I do it every year or so...pick up the sugar canister (invariably when it's full), let it go and OMG!!! Sugar can travel a long way, let me tell you. You scrub and scrub and then get ready, cause the next day the ANT PARADE begins.

My mother once broke a full bottle of extra vergin olive oil...it went also btween the floor and the cabinets, it took FOREVER to degrease the surfaces!

Woah girl. That bluebell is like gold! I haven't bought it in ages b/c it's just way over my ice cream budget (of $0). I hope it goes on sale soon and you can get another pint/quart/1/2 gal again soon.

My biggest mess? The first thing that comes to mind wasn't really that messy, but was quite upsetting. I put the pizza in the oven. Waited the necessary 20 minutes, salivating. i think I was pregnant at the time, maybe not. I don't remember. But I love me some pizza! So we cook it right on the rack and then slide it onto a large wooden cookie sheet. I did that part and was holding the cutting board lifting it to the counter top and the whole entire pizza slipped off the board and onto the floor. Wouldn't have been that bad (I still would have eaten it), IF it hadn't landed topping-side down. So all the sauce and cheese and pepperoni was on the floor. The only thing salvageable was the crust. BORING! IF it had landed right-side-up I think I might have eaten it, I like pizza that much, plus my floor wasn't too dirty I don't think. :P Still do pizza the same way, but I am MUCH more careful about putting the large cutting board on the counter. Haven't dropped a pizza in a few years now. :)

ADDED: You ladies are cracking me up. HILARIOUS! Galway girl - you win for the best story. I am imagining this all and laughing here in my seat. My husban probably thinks I'm crazy.

I'm late responding but I was getting gas today and opened the back door to get something out of my car. I got my gas and went on my way when I realized as I was driving that I didn't close the door all the way and it opened on me! Luckily I was on a side road so I jumped off, ran to side and closed it, and jumped back in car and took off. How embarassing!