I Am a Pacifier

I would use the soothies pacifiers and I would put them on my breast at the nipple. Once they got used to sucking on them, I would slowly move them away from my breast and it wasn't long before I just had to pop them in their mouths in the crib.

Enjoy it :) I was a pacifier too... now I have a beautiful, smart, healthy 2 year old & I miss the snuggling. Enjoy it- they grow so fast! I also recommend a sling. I loved the hotsling!

Hi
There is a wonderful website, called www.sleepsense.net. The lady is Dana Obleman, you can ask her any question and she will be able to help. I used her when I was having problems with my son.

I know everyone recommends different books they swear by, but by the time my 3rd child came along, I really needed somthing that clicked! Someone bought me Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and it CHANGED MY LIFE!!! I think my son was about 9 weeks old when I read it and started the methods, so you can never start too early or too late. It really helps to read through the explanations from the author to get the full idea of what you are doing and why... but the jist of it is called E.A.S.Y.... most parents (myself included) wait until the baby gets fussy and nurse so she can eat, be happy, and fall asleep-- right??

Well, according to this brilliant woman, what you SHOULD be doing is feed her when she wakes up (E=eat)...
Then the baby has awake time (A=activity... which at her age is staring into space and absorbing her surroundings while trying not to get overstimulated)...
Then sleep time (S=sleep)...
Then you get time for yourself (Y=You time)
EASY!

Well, I didn't understand if you were nursing when the child first wakes up, then how do you get him to sleep??? Well, the idea is to remember that when a baby is fussy, it does not mean he needs the boob! I used to make the mistake of offering the boob every time my baby would fuss because I had no idea what else to do! But basically this author tells you to watch your baby's cues. You know you fed her when she woke up, so when she starts to fuss, she is more than likely NOT hungry-- she is getting sleepy. So catch her BEFORE she gets full blown exhausted-- do whatever your baby likes to calm and soothe her. Some like to be rocked, mine liked to be held and bounced up and down a particular way. Swaddle her, then do the soothing thing until the baby is calm but not asleep, then set her down where ever she is going to sleep (ie bassinet or crib)... if she starts to fuss, give her a sec and see if she is just settling in or if she needs to be soothed more by you. If you do pick her up, do the soothing thing (rocking, bouncing, whatever) for as long as needed if she is fussing or crying, but the second she stops fussing, place her back down to sleep. It sounds unbelievably insane but I know it works because I did it myself, but you have to understand that it will not be a miracle thing that will work in 2 minutes. You may have to soothe her, place her down, pick her up and soothe her, put her down, etc over and over and over and over and over and over again. I know you have a 3 year old so it may be very hard to do without her interupting, but I know with my 9 week old I had to pick him up/put him down over 30 times the first night. It took a few weeks and most nights I still had to pick him up and put him down on average about 10 times, but by the time he was a few months old, all I had to do was as soon as he was fussy I would bounce him until he stopped being fussy and then laid him in his crib and he drifted off to sleep on his own -- no boob, no crying it out, no pacifier that would fall out... and he was my best sleeper (still is at age 3!!) of all of my children because he learned very early on how to drift off to sleep on his own, so when he woke in the middle of the night, he would fall right back to sleep-- unless he truely was hungry.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but your daughter will only use you as a pacifier if you allow it. I didn't know any better so I nursed my daughter (my middle child) every 1.5 hours for several months because I assumed every time she cried that she was hungry. Now I know better and my 3rd child was the happiest and most well rested of all of my kids.

nurse her.
wear her in a sling or pouch and
wear a nursing shirt w/ an empire waist opening
and no one will see a thing
she has only been on the planet 6 weeks!

here is the kind of opening I mean for a nursing shirt- no one can see a thing & your belly is covered!
http://www.motherwear.com/shop/search_advanced_all.cfm?ns...

there are actually other kinds of nursing openings to keep you body covered and only fuss w/ the top part of the shirt- perfect for walking around in a ring sling with your baby nursing ans you chase and play with your 3 yr old :)
http://www.motherwear.com/cs/openings.cfm

I think even if you stopped that, you would just have to sub it for something else. My little girl wouldn't take a pacifier. As a newborn, any time she needed to sleep (you know how many times that is!) I had to walk her. Either in the stroller of just holding her against my chest and walking around the house. I could not sit and rock her, she wouldn't allow it! I walked MILES in my own home and outside, it helped with the baby weight though! Mostly, age will make her stop. I know, it is really hard since you have a 3 year old that needs you. Do you have a sling that she likes. Then she can still use you and you can be there for your other girl. My girl hatted slings too, but maybe you will get lucky. When she is a couple of months older, things will get better. I wish you luck and some kind of rest!

I too have done motherhood alone alot (hubby in residency) so I understand completely. I had my daughter when my son was 3 also. At this point she is also regulating your supply so that factors into her nursing habits right now as well. Try using a mayawrap or a moby and carrying her with you. My mayawrap saved my sanity with my first born who was a high needs preemie due to some health issues. It freed up my hands but kept him close which is what he needed and wanted. One of the best tricks/tips I learned was from The No-cry sleep solution. When the baby is nursing and they are asleep and just comfort nursing you break the suction with your finger and immediately put your finger under their chin for a few seconds to keep their mouth closed. It works wonders. I gleaned tips from the no-cry book, the baby whisperer and Dr. Sears baby sleep book. All had ideas/ideals that spoke to me and the way I wanted to parent my infant.

Hi, W.!

I know it seems endless and I felt that way with both my nursing infants, but it will pass! I do believe six weeks is a growth spurt, so bear that in mind.

Also, I really agree with the mom who got a sling. Having a sling when I had my second made it SO much easier to help my three year old--you can bend over, use both hands, walk around more easily. Plus, the comfort of being so close to you really helps the baby. I used a wrap sling (just five yards of stretchy cotton material--I can email you directions for wrapping if you want) until about two months, then I got a Hot Sling--www.hotslings.com. There are lots of other great ones out there, too.

Please be careful with baby books--the ones that work for some moms don't work for others.

My oldest is the personality that (I believe) Dr. Sears calls "high needs" and that the "Raising Your Spirit Child" book is about. When she was an infant, my former pediatrician recommended The Baby Whisperer to me and it didn't work for us at all. I was suffering from serious PPD, so "failing" at the author's foolproof system didn't help me much.

Eventually I found the right way for my baby and me. I know you've got an older child, so you probably know that. I just want to encourage you to trust your own instincts for your baby--all of us moms need to hear that!

Enjoy the precious days of infancy--they go by so fast!

I would say you are a fantastic mom. Keep going with it! Right now this is exactly what your 6 week old baby needs, and you can be sure if she is nursing frequently, even if it's just for comfort, she's not going to have any problem growing into a healthy, well-adjusted child who knows her needs are being met (and who you aren't always worried about stuffing formula into to keep her on her "percentile," etc.)

It can feel like all you do is nurse all the time, but as you know with your first-- this period in their lives is so short. Why not do the very best for them?

I see that you are home alone most of the time since your husband travels. I would invest in a sling of some kind that will allow you to nurse and carry your baby while getting other stuff done around the house or entertaining your older one.

Here's an article on slings: http://infantstoddlers.suite101.com/article.cfm/guide_to_...

Congrats on your new little angel and keep nursing, (don't be a weaner). :)

They all do, some more than others. This is their way to get grounded in their bodies. They've been flying around in the spirit world, and it's hard for them to adjust to their physical form. Nursing unites your root chakra (energy center) with hers and helps her root to grow, well..roots. Get a sling. Nurse her while you're moving about. Enjoy being in the nursing chair. Have things to read, snacks, drinks etc handy. Read to your 3yo too. Do chores together that's what 3yo's like to do...mimic.

W.,
Congrats on your little one! Like most moms said, this is very normal and just what it takes at this stage of her life right now. I have been there and it is very draining, especially when alone. My hubby isn't arond much either and I am often exhausted, but whenever I wish it was different I look at one of my little ones and remind myself that this time period will be gone in the blink of an eye and they won't need me for whatever I am fussing about having to do for them.... She will NOT be doing this forever and you are giving her the VERY BEST thing you can,which is breastmilk and the comfort of nursing whenever she needs it. She needs it at this stage not only for nutrition but for comfort too and help in her bonding and creating security.

I wouldn't worry too much about this book or that book for training her to be the way YOU want her to be or to change her natural habits to suit YOUR life....there seems to be so much focus in the US on changing our babies, just let her be herself and meet her needs. Dr. Sears Baby Book will cover lots of your situation and help you work together with her, not change her. His Attachment Parenting and also his Night Time Parenting Books offer good support too.

Have you gotten the latest issue of Mothering Magazine? There is a wonderful article in there about babies/moms nursing in Mongolia, I highly suggest reading it for comfort and to know she is normal and you are responding well! Have you joined a nursing support group? I don't know where you are but the Morton Plant Hosp in Clearwater has one that meets the 1st and 3rd Fri of each month from 10-12 with lots of onfant moms and a cert. lactation consultant. Its WONDERFUL and helpful/supportive. There is also a Pinellas Babywearing meeting monthly that is always posted to the Morton Plant egroup which you may want to go to as well as the Le Leche League meeting. Get a great sling or wrap that you love and nurse her anytime without having to stop doing things....great closeness and comfort for her (and lots of nursing) while you won't be tied down. Best wishes and hang in there...she's doing what she is meant to ne doing:-)

She is probably going through a growth spurt and trying to increase your milk. Let her nurse when she needs it and it will return to normal in no time. Believe me I know the feeling I'm still nursing twins so I know how you feel. I felt like one big boob when they were that age. Good luck. I promise it gets better and good for you for nursing it's great.

Whatever you do, don't start using a pacifier. It will be a nightmare to get her weaned off of that.

The Baby Whisperer book is a great book to read, like the other lady said. It saved my sanity.

My daughter was also using me as a pacifier. I did not want to use a real pacifier but finally after she was three weeks old I had to introduce one because my nipples were so sore and I was not getting any sleep. Apparently, the soothie pacifier is supposed to be very similar to the nipple to avoid nipple confusion but you should be past that if your baby is a month old.

W., of course you are a pacifier if you are breastfeeding a 6-week-old baby.

Chances are that she's actually hungry almost all the time when she cries for the breast. Babies at this age can feed every 2 hours for at least a couple of months. When they go on growth spurts, they will do this frequently.

It's also possible she's thirsty some of the time that she's demanding to nurse. Try giving her a bottle of sterile water. If she refuses it and keeps giving you a hunger cry or a fussy cry in general, then she needs to nurse.

Being a human pacifier comes with the territory. It's a good time to bond anyway.

Peace,
Syl

Are you sure you have enough milk? Usually when a nursing child continues to suck it's because they are hungry. Children that nurse do not need pacifiers because they have to suck a lot harder to get milk then a bottle fed baby.
She may actually be trying to get more milk.
And you may be like I was with my first daughter. She would nurse and the milk would run down me. I thought she was just playing but the doctor told me I had to much milk and she couldnt' drink it as fast as it was coming out.
Relax, enjoy the nursing experience. She will be grown and in college before you know it

She is right at the age for a growth spurt now - and she may continue to do this for a few weeks longer before she becomes more entertained by her surroundings. I am exclusively breastfeeding my almost 9 month old son now and I did offer a pacifier to him at about 4 weeks (he now only uses it at bedtime or occasionally in the car - so it doesnt have to be an all or nothing situation, you can chose certian times/places you feel acceptable).....he was still eating every 2 hours at least at this age - which is totally normal. I know it can be tiring, but I promise you it will not last forever.
Since you have another LO at home try getting yourself a ring-sling (they are adj. so IMO they are alot more user friendly than a pouch, ect) and you can nurse while walking around - it takes a few tries to get it right but it will save you alot of time - you can walk your other LO to the park while nursing the baby and everyone wins!
I would caution you to start reading some of the suggested books which can be considered an extreme style of parenting.
Kellymom.com is a GREAT breastfeeding resource, and Dr Sears offers wonderful advice as well (him and his wife both have children, so they have expereince and their children actually like them as adults which is more than can be said for alot of other "parenting experts" that you will find at your local bookstore.)

She really cannot help but to love being held and nursed, whether "eating" or not...Have you tried those tiny pacifiers for infants? She probably does not want to be laid down, either. It's a matter of you letting go so she can adjust to a new scenario...the crib, the car seat, the rocker...
It's tough to adjust; but you need to be able to set boundaries and stick with it. You have other children to attend to. Not to mention the house, the meals, the laundry, etc...it never ends, dear.
Blessings, S.

Not sure what you are experiencing. Does she feed often? Does she just hang on without feeding? If she is feeding often (every hour-hour and a half), it may be that she is not getting enough hind milk during her feeds so she is not filling up with the high fat that lasts a bit longer than the high sugar foremilk. Try keeping her to one breast longer per feed and see if that helps. If she is just hanging on without feeding, just separate her from the breast and hold her close until she calms down, rocking her, gently bouncing her, walking with her, etc. Remember she is VERY young, and physical contact is VERY important.

Noooo you are NOT a pacifier, she is preparing your body to increase your milk producction. It seems to be just for entertainig but it is not. In a few days she is going to grow and she´ll need more milk and suck all the time is her instincts way to ensureher milk.
You can find information at La Leche League
http://www.llli.org/FAQ/FAQSubject.html
or this
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.ht...
both have FAQ and specifics breastfeeding forums
Good luck
Mafe

Babies have a natural need to suck and many babies meet their non-nutritive needs at their mothers' breast in addition to their need for milk. Many Americans seem to find this bothersome, but I understand it to be a natural tendency. The reason they call pacifiers "dummies" in some countries is because they are not the real thing.

Victoria, mother of 2 breastfed babies

You are your baby's form of comfort, you are her source of nourishment as well. She seeks your breasts for both reasons and with my experience (I have 3 children), this is quite normal. Some mothers do not like being their baby's source of comfort, hence you feel like a pacifier. This "phase" does not last forever. When you know that your baby is not hungry, perhaps you could try other things like a swing, sling, or bouncy chair. I enjoyed the times I could sit down with any of my children and just enjoy having my baby in my arms, at my breast. It never mattered to me if they were seeking my breasts for hunger or comfort, or both. Try to embrace these moments. Before long you will have a baby who is no longer interested in your breasts for nourishment or comfort and these days will all be a thing in the past.

Hi W.. It is COMPLETELY normal for a baby that age to use nursing to soothe her. It helps reassure her that you will provide for her needs. It helps establish a bond and a nursing routine. She is still very young. Most breastfed babies, at some point, use nursing to soothe them; whether they are upset or sick or scared or whatever. That is what it is for! It can be very draining to have two little ones, especially when you feel like a pacifier. I agree with the post about trying a sling; it will free up your arms and hands so you can play with your older child, cook, clean, etc. There are a good variety of types of slings; you might want to ask around to see if any moms you know have one you could try out before you buy. The more adjustable the better, in general, because they will adjust to fit your baby as she grows. Some slings are better for newborns, some better for older babies. My best friend went through several different ones and swears by them. Good luck to you. Get as much rest as you possibly can; sleep when they sleep. Enjoy your girls! You are lucky to have them.

I am so glad you got a lot of help! It is COMPLETELY normal for a baby to do this at 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 3 months and sometimes again at 6months. They are growing and if they don't cluster nurse they won't get the message across to your body that they are going to need a bigger supply in the coming days.

With my son there were evenings (it seemed to happen more late afternoon, evening times) that he would want to nurse for 3-4 hours with just taking a few 10 minute breaks. I thought I would lose my mind. But, he knew better than I did at the time and would generally slow down after 4-5 days, when my supply suddenly increased.

Nursing is hard work in the early weeks....but so worth it given the improved health of your child, the money saved on formula in the long run and after you get past the first couple months, it's soooooooo much easier than bottles. :) Enjoy your new little one.

give it time. that is pretty normal. i had a 3 year old too while i nursing my son and it was hard but before you know it they are no longer interested in nursing as much.
i had a sling and i would nurse my son while playing with my daughter or cooking dinner. it was great.

W.,
Congrats on your new baby. I too, have a 6 week old. Have you tried using an actual pacifier so she wont use you as one?
H.

Enjoy the quiet time, it will be gone too soon - I know you feel like you can't get anything done and you want your body back, but before long you will miss that time.