Husband with Issues About Being to Old to Have Another Baby.

Hi L., my name is S.. I am 44yr. old and will turn 45 this year. My daughter Alexis is 4 soon to be 5. This makes me having my daughter when I was 40. My husband is 5yr. older than me. Our son is now 17yr. old. When I became pregnant I had to question what I was doing? Did I really have to energy for this. My husband was excited. Strangely enough several things happened with us and we got a divorce and I literally started all over. Long story short, after four years we found our way back to each other and remarried. Our little girl lights up our world. I hope we don't short change her in time with our "oldness and lack of energy". I don't think we will. I think she will keep us young and now that we have learned a few things thru the years that she will be better off for it. She adores both of us and our son is enchanted with her. She brings a new energy into our world. God has a way of knowing the blessings we need. By the way my mom had 5 kids. The oldest one is 56yr. old the youngest is 39yr. old.....she her last one when she was 40yr. old and has rhuematoid arthritis...a bad one. She has told me over and over that her kids have kept her young. She is 78yr. old and now living with the youngest child. We have all looked at my parents as that....parents. Never ever have we been concerned with them being older than anyone elses parents.....didn't even notice that growing up. Your husband will be fine once that baby comes into his life. Hang in there!

I had an unexpected "surprise" when I was 41 years old, with a 15 year old son and a 12 year old daughter at home. My baby daughter, who is now 7, is a blessing in all of our lives. I can't imagine life without her! I think men tend to think of their jobs and of never being able to retire when they find out that they are expecting another baby later in life. I know my husband felt that way initially! But as soon as they see that child, all their priorities change..they fall in love again! It is such a blessing!! Good luck to you! I consider you to be one of the lucky ones..like me!!!

We have 4 grown with 6 grandkids and a 14 yo at home. We have also adopted 2 babies (from birth) that are now 10 mos and 25 mos. We turn 50 this year. Wouldn't change a thing either. I think he may just need to get used to the idea. Good luck!

Hi L.,

Perhaps your husband had started to feel like you two were on your way to being on your own again. You know, looking forward to life together, just the two of you, without kids. So to be presented with the prospect of another 18 years before that can happen - I can see where he might be a little bummed about the idea. If you can separate those feelings from the baby, it's actually kind of sweet.
I'm sure, as this pregnancy progresses, he'll start to warm to the idea of a new little addition. And certainly when the baby arrives, all his melancholy will be replaced with that special kind of love you feel when you see your child for the first time.
My advice is to just let him work through it. Don't invalidate his feelings. Don't tell him to get over it or try to reason with him. Just let him feel it. If it's okay for moms to feel all sorts of things about impending birth, it's got to be okay for dads too. I bet if you just continue to be happy and feel your feelings and let him feel his feelings, he'll work through it a lot quicker than if you try to push him into feeling what you think he should feel. he'll get there eventually.
I'm sure your husband doesn't want to hear this - or at least maybe not now, but my husband - who is 40 - and i just had our first child.
hope this helps. good luck.

Hi L.!

Don't be discouraged! Stay positive! I had my first child at 40 and my second at 42. Both children are beautiful and healthy. At 39, I truly believe you are not too old to have another baby. In addition, I don't think your husband's age or the ages of your other children matter! Try to enjoy the miracle growing inside of you in spite of what your husband is going through right now. His perception is his reality right now and hopefully that will change as he sees the loving, glowing look on your face as your belly grows with the child the two of you created. It really doesn't matter what other people think!

About me: I'm 42 (almost 43) Work PT/SAHM PT with a 2 yr. old boy and a 5 month old girl.

I am the oldest of 5. I was 15 when #4 came and 17 when # 5 came.My parents were 42 and 41. Having children at this age has kept them young and involved As the oldest, I loved it. It brought us all closer together. When I married and had my first child, we moved closer to my parents. My youngest 2 siblings became our babysitters. Now, I am 37 and the youngest is 20. We are a close nit family and I firmly believe that it was the 2 youngest that really kept us all so close. I can't think about what it would be like without them. My parents are both retired and in their 60's. They love traveling to see my younger siblings compete in collegiate events. They are vibrant and young and super involved with all of us and our kids. Congratulations!!!!

You just need to worry about yourself right now and be happy...for you and for your child. You are only responsible for your feelings and you can't MAKE him feel what you want him to feel. But, you can HOPE that his feelings change. Truely the only answer is for you to be happy now and know that he will come around. I'm sure you've heard the saying...don't worry, be happy. Worrying only gets you more things to worry about. Being happy will bring you more happiness and things to be happy about. It's the Law of Attraction in action. Peace

Hi L.! Hope this helps. I am 45 and had my last child when I was 40. I turned 41 the next month! I have two other children aged 16 and 24 with my baby being 4 now. The 4 year old was the only child we planned!!! It has been great having a little one at our age. We are more settled and a lot more patient. She helps keep us young! Her dad is wrapped around her little finger. I know there are some down sides to having a small child at this age but I do believe the good outweighs the bad by far. I have two neighbors that have babies and one is in her late 30's and the other in her early 40's so it is not as uncommon as you might think. I wish you the best of luck and just remember to enjoy all the precious moments with your new little one because they grow up FAST!

My husband and I were having the same issues, but with me. I was concerned that at the age of 44, I was entirely too old to have a child. Our family consists of a 22 yo son, 17 and 16 yo daughters and now....WONDERFUL 9 month old identical girls.

We discussed the possibility of having a baby with the two older girls who are still at home and are now an integral part of their lives. Once the decision was made as a whole, we were lucky in our first month. (we are now DONE!) This is my second husband so his first. To say the least, our family has responded quite well with the transition from a super active family of four to six.

The extended family has done extremely well with the newest addition too. For me, it was a concern about giving up our active lifestyle for a while to begin our lives with new babies. Life makes a huge change and it does bend and flow to accommodate for the baby. We had a larger gap in our children than you do, but if everyone is "on board" with the change, you should have little resistance from anyone. Adding a baby to the house is going to be a great experience for the older children as long as you remember to not put their childhood on hold to become psuedo parents and babysitters for the baby. We have done extremely well with the age difference in our family, the twins have very close to 4 adults in the home (with their school friends) to help at any given time.

Good luck and feel free to email if you would like!

Deb

Don't fret and tell your husband not to. There are more and more older dads out there, including my husband. My husband is 51 and our youngest son is 2 1/2. My 7 year old daughter went to a father/daughter dance recently and one of the dads commented that he has never seen so many 50 Yr. old men with 6/7 yr. old girls in his whole life! Your husband will get used to the idea when he sees more older dads like himself. In the meantime, he may need a new pair of rollerblades!

I was 38 when my youngest was born and he too was a surprise (I had been told that I was incapable of having any more children.) There will be times, as with all children, that you too will ponder the wisdom of more little feet but, all in all, my son has been a godsend. He is an honor student, helps around the house, helps his grandparents and sisters and brother (35, 30 & 19) and our neighbors. Experience comes with maturity and he seems to have absorbed a great deal. He is also closer to his brother and sisters than any of the others were at the age of 16.

Since my husband and I had our FIRST child when I was just turned 41 and he was 46, and then we had our second a year and a half later ath 42 and 48 I kinda understand. I do have a daughter from an earlier marriage who was a teenager when they were born. Were we more tired than we might have been? Sure. Did we have more wisdom and patience do deal with children as "older" parents? I think so. The 2 younger kids, now 20 and 19 and college students, have a great relationship with their big sister, who is something like a really cool backup mom and "fairy godmother". I've seen similar relationships with my friends who have 2 generations of kids. The biggest downside is juggling college costs with our being retirement age. But we had 18 years to plan. My son and younger daughter seem no more embarassed to have older parents than any teens are with their parents. If you look around you'll find lots of us having children in our 40s. I can think of 6 or 7 without having to dig for them. So tell your husband he is by no means the oldest dad out there, and no one is going to think you're "too old".
C. B

I can only imagine! Children are a blessing. I believe this with my whole heart. Lets hope the new baby is not coupling with mid-life crisis during the Bush-recession crisis. This will make anyone think of the expense of raising children and putting them through college. I do have a hopeful story for you, though. My grandparents are now 80 and 81. After three children, 14 years after the third child came number four. We're constantly told how my grandpa hit the ceiling, was grumpy the entire pregnancy and to top it all off...ANOTHER boy! They now had 1 girl and 3 boys. Well, he's a happy trooper now. My uncle became a pilot. They can fly all over the world for less than $50. My grandpa flies out to California often to see his siblings whom were separated in early youth due to the early, untimely death of his own mother.

You're certainly not to old...it happened didn't it??? There's your proof. My husband is 47 and we have a 3 year-old girl and 1 year-old boy. These are our only children. I'm quite a bit younger than my husband. My husband says he worries sometimes that we'll be pushing him in a wheelchair at their high school graduations. Most of the time though, he says that he doesn't feel old because the kids make him feel young. I bet your husband is just realizing that he's going to lose you and your freedom (both of your's) a little again to the baby. He was probably starting to see some of his old life, before kids, returning. He may have been looking forward to having more time with you and other interests now that the kids are able to do some things for themselves. A new baby sort of throws those plans out the window. He'll get through this rough spot. But, he will have to grieve the loss of his idea of the future as it was. Let him. If it really starts to get in the way of your daily lives and stays that way, then maybe you two should see a counselor. Otherwise, give it time.

Children are such blessings and this delayed one will be very special. You did not get this little bump by yourself so PaPa needs to accept it and move on. You will have older kids to help and to love this baby. God gave you this little surprise for a reason.If it is a girl, she will have him wrapped around her finger in no time. When he sees that baby boy or girl he will be so proud and all the doubts and depression will go away. Also tell him to make a trip to the urologist to get that procedure that prevents these surprises from happening. All the best to you and let us know how he is afte the bundle of joy comes..

I'm 20yrs old and i just had my first baby and they man i'm seeing is 31 married twice and has no kids when he found out that i was pregnent he was not too happy he thought that he was too old to be a dad but once he realized that there would be someone alse to love he became happy about it just explain to him that love and life knows no age and that these are the happiest time of a persons life. Good Luck!

Hi L.,
First of all, congratulations! I felt led to respond...I would be patient with your husband and trust God to help him. I would remind him of how great a husband and father he is. I believe you are such a great family that God must have known you could bless another precious life with great joy and be overjoyed yourselves. My boss was over 40 when his daughter was borne. Be at peace and trust all will be well.
T.

Hi Dear L.!
I am 44 and my DH is 46. Our oldest is 20 and our youngest is 15 months. My DH says that everyone needs to have a baby when they're "old" (ouch, LOL!) because when you're younger and you have kids, it's just what everyone does. but when you're older (and wiser) you have an AWE that is beyond words that you've been granted another chance at this, been trusted with a new life. it truly IS incredible. remind him what a wonderful daddy he is and give him some time. anger isn't good for you or the baby. our culture doesn't value children enough and i guess that's why some folks are embarrassed instead of rejoicing... praying for you and your man...

CB

I think that is wonderful that you are adding a new baby to your family, I am 38 and would not think twice about the age.. Your husband is probably just feeling overwhelmed, we are talking FIVE kids here.. I totally agree that you are only as old as you feel and the kids will keep you both young at heart for many many years to come. You are blessed to have such a large family.. Good luck to you and Congrats!!

I'm not blessed to be a mom yet but I am the surprise of the family. Most of my sisters were teenagers when I was born. The "baby" of the 4 was only 11 when I took her spot. I got the attention my parents could never give the others whether it be because of their inexperience with children, having so many little ones at once, always working, etc. When I was born, my mom was 43. In the 70's that was a big deal but now a days it's the norm. She started working less and eventually stopped working altogether by the time I was 2. The youngest sister I talked about above...she had her surprise a couple years ago at age 39 just a couple months shy of 40. My brother in law was 49. Sure it was a shock at first but they welcomed the new challenge. I think at this age, you know more and can do things differently than you did with the first ones. I look forward to being an older mom. I'm 31 and still not close to having a baby yet. I welcome the idea of being an older mom. It's what I know and when it happens I know I will be ready. Remind your hubby how much he enjoys being a dad. One perk is that you'll have plenty of babysitters this time around. :) Good luck with your hubby! I'm sure he'll snap out of it when your belly starts growing.

Hi L.! My husband was 44 when our now 5 yr old son was born.I was 26. We have recently talked about adding to our family although now that my husband is 49 he is hestiant. He has reasons that I undertsnad. One of his main reasons is if something were to happen to him, having me to be a single mom to one child would be alot easier. He is worried about not being able to play ball and stuff like that because he will be older. I hope you are able to gets things figured out.
Congrats on the one on the way!

You are no longer the minority. So many couples are having children when they are older. A couple in our church just had a baby. Their other children are in middleschool and highschool. They are in their early 40's. Congrats! I'll be 42 this year and hoping to have another one.

He might be unhappy because he had plans for fun when the kids got older and now he's going to be reliving those baby days all over again. Is there someone he can talk to? A minister, great friend, counselor? It might be helpful if he had someone he could talk through this with.

Congratulations - what a blessing! It's got to be frustrating watching your husband feel this way, but that's the key. Let him iron out his feelings for a while. Sometimes men work through things quietly - to theirselves. They don't want to talk about it a lot and hash it out like we do. Give him some time. Just love him through it, and he'll come around. Pray for him and ask God to change his perspective. It's going to be tough probably not feeling some anger toward him for not immediately being happy, but one way you can love your husband it just forgive him daily until he works through this. My sister got married three years ago for the first time at age 36. Her husband is ten years older than her. Since then she has given birth to two children. Children are a blessing and they are our heritage. Your husband is feeling the weight of the responsibility and the years it takes to raise your children. That's a good thing. It shows he cares about his family. He may also be experiencing some real disapointment - not about the baby directly, but about plans he may have had once your other children are grown. Bottom line, give him time and space and love him through it. It will be the most selfless and loving thing you can do. Talk to friends and keep some healthy support around you that encourages you and your husband.

I am the last of 6 children. My mom was 43 & my dad 41 when I was born. There is 18 years between my oldest brother and myself. My mom was a strong woman and stay so until her death. She said dad stayed pissed the whole nine months, but once I came he was around to see that things got taken care of and fell in love with the new little one. It will work out. You and your husband had one plan, but God had another. Best of luck and love to all of you. Enjoy your new bundle of joy.

I don't really have any advice about your husband's issues. I can only tell you my experience. We also had 4 children with the youngest in kindergarten when we found out there was another on the way. It was a wonderful time for our family, in fact we decided we didn't want an "only ender" so had another child 2 years later. I wasn't quite as old as you but these last two have been such wonderful people and just joys to have around.
Perhaps your husband was really looking forward to having the little kid responsibility over, but I think he will adapt.
This is what we call "seeing God's sense of humor."
Good luck with your new baby. Be sure to show your husband lots of love and understanding. Being the father of 5 instead of 4 may sound overwelming to him.

My husband was 48 when he had his first. She is now two, and he is crazy about her. I am 40 myself, and loving every minute of her. She keeps us young, body and soul.
I am not sure it is your husbands age, rather then it being number 5. That is a load to take on, also financially. Like you said though, the deed is done, and I am sure when the little one arrives he will love him/her like the rest. I wouldn't bother him about it, or try to help/fix him right now. Men need their space. Give him a little room and time, he'll get over it I am sure.
Good luck and congratulations :>)

Some people don't even start having children wuntil they are 40. Also, many men are starting with a second marriage and little ones at that age. Are you sure this is about age? Maybe he has other concerns too. Financial or just the kaos of it all. Anyway, like you said. What is done is done. You no, all you can do is confort him and get to the root of his feelings. Once the child is here he will love it like the others. Tell him children keep you young. Maybe, he should consider getting fixed after this one.

Of course an unexpected baby so late in life is a shock! I'm sure your husband had his life somewhat planned out for the future and this is going to be an adjustment to those thoughts. Don't expect an immediate "whoop de doo" response from him. Give him time, let him get his mind re-planned and he will re-adjust... and when the baby comes, he will not know how he lived without it. For now, just back off, take a deep breath and don't tell him "to be happy", just listen. His acceptance of the situation and his level of happiness has to come from him... not you.

Tell your husband that you both should feel very blessed that this baby will be coming in to your life. I am a 39 year old female that has not been able to have a child yet. I don't care if I am 45 when we finally have a child, I will welcome it no matter how old that I am.

Heck! Tell him to be proud that he still has the sex drive! (LOL) Now days a lot of people are waiting until they're older to have children. Tell him that I work in a daycare and many of our moms are in their 30's - 40's and either starting over or are fist time moms. At least he's still going and not suffering from E.D. Every time I turn around a commercial for perk-it-up meds is either on the tv or radio. A big salute to both of you for having 5 kids and being able (and interested) in loving each other!!! :)

Congrats to you both, (and the rest of the family)
K. L.

I'm sure once he hears that precious baby cry he'll be very grateful to have him/her! It's a big thing to have a baby at any age, but having one in your late thirties/early forties is an even bigger deal. I know, we've been there! I have a sixteen year old son and 21 month-old daughter, but the difference is that we planned, tried, and eventually had to get help to conceive. We were elated, even at our age! We are currently trying again and about to seek more help to hopefully conceive again. I am 40 years old and my husband is 47, but we are desperate for another baby! (We married late) You are certainly blessed to have so many children and I know you know that, but let your husband know that there are a lot of people who would love to be in his position right now. He'll come around and you'll both be celebrating soon enough! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

my family was in the same situation. my sister was born when i was 17 and a senior in HS. my mom was 37 and my dad was 45. she was a surprise too! i think it was sometimes hard for them for the obvious reasons-they thought they could just relax now that me and my other sister were pretty self sufficient-but it really was great. my mom decided to stay home and went to playgroups and my dad got to coach kid's soccer again. it's what you make of it. a late baby can be a burden or a blessing. i would want to see it as another chance to enjoy all that baby stuff and stay young. watching my first go through everything he goes through is the most amazing and entertaining thing i've ever seen. i'm sure that now that you're on your 5th you're pretty used to it, but maybe try not to take it for granted. you have a chance to share all that love and fun again, and you didn't think you were going to - what a great surprise!!

Congratulations and how do you do it? Working full time and so many kids?! We are older parents of 3, the last of which was a surprise as well and such a blessing. My husband reeled a bit when she was discovered but it seemed to help when he looked around and realized how many men his age were still having kids whether it was their first or 7th child. My cousin has 5, his sister has 5 (her oldest was 18 when the littlest was born) and his brother has 4 - all with one of them being born while their dad was in his 40's. That's just family, we're a club soccer family and run into many older parents there. If that doesn't help, just hold onto the thought that as soon as she's born, the magic will take over!

L.,

If your husband does not get better soon, please go see your religious minister or seek some other form of counseling.

Having a child late in life is not the end of the world. I have had several people joke about me being an older mom, didn't I know when to quit, and don'tcha know I'm depleting the earth's resources by having 5 children, etc. I stopped them in their tracks by telling them that it is my body and that I love each and everyone of my children. I also tell these cruel people that it is none of their business as to my sex life or how many children I reproduce!!

Your husband may be depressed because he was just starting to think of the freedom that you have in having older children and how easy life is now. He could also be getting depressed over the financial obligation of having another child.

Having a baby drastically alters one's lifestyle as you already know. But I hope that he will turn his life around and love the baby, but then again maybe not. How solid is your marriage?? Will it survive this pregnancy?

If in doubt, get therapy or counseling immediately.

Sincerely......P.

You are both young and have been blessed with another child! Your husband will realize that sooner or later. A husband takes the role of a provider and probably saw his role almost done as far as children. My husband was 18yrs apart from his eldest sibling and he made was child nunber 5. my father in law also did not know what make of his role. Back then there was not as much support and income was limited. AS years went by his older sibling just loved him and helped out. He became his dad's biggest help since all the older sibbling moved away. He turned out to be one of thier greatest joys but with help of thier other children. Hang in there and remember you have been blessed! you are now wiser parents.

My husband and I have a blended family- he had a son and daughter and I had a son and daughter. We had been married five years and I so desperately wanted another child. We adopted a baby boy (very long and painful story but with a happy ending). Physically it is exhausting, but would I trade it? Never! God has blessed us so much! We are in our late 40's with a 13 yr old, 18 yr old, 20 yr old and 26 yr old. This little guy gets a lot of love and the wisdom of our "mature" parenting. Your new addition will keep you young! Enjoy your pregnancy and he will come around!

I was 36 when we were surprised with our 3rd boy, older 2 were 17 and 19, since then along comes #4 at 40 none of them planned, but all blessings from above. I was 36 and 40 with last two births. With the last one, my husband was less than thrilled and I was just as scared. It took awhile for him to come to accept the fact.. He was honest though and told me he was low on energy being 43 working 70 hours a week and not into taking care of his health and told me I would have to assume 80% of the childrearing. I am a stay at home mom and was atleast glad he was honest with me. Now with a 25,23,6 and 2 year old boys they are all such a blessing. I suggest giving him some time to adjust, and communication between you two is critical. Find out his expectations/thoughts beforehand and try to work out and compromise on this very important issue. Hopefully you both would have faith and believe that there is purpose to this life and how important this life you are bringing into this world is. Mainly, give him some time and space to adjust to this surprising news. Best of Luck and God has a purpose for us all.

i know this is so 2008, but get counseling,, for both of you. life will continue to throw curve balls, no doubt about that. and this one is such a blessing. from a man's perspective (not that i am one, but i have been practicing seeing things from hubby's point of view) he is thinking, another expense, another however long without true intimacy with you, i will never get to retire, etc. but he can see more than that, i am sure, but maybe this time the counseling thing will work. besides, you have five kids??? you are a pro at this!! wow!

first of all, many couples your age are having their first
baby so you are not too old. second, if you have a one year
old and it was planned than what difference does one year make? If he did not want anymore children than it was his respondibility to discuss this with you after you discovered the last pregnancy. He had basically a year to decide and discuss and measures could have been taken following the birth of your last child. You can not take the "blame" for this pregnancy I suggest that you have that discussion and make plans to get out of the baby business before this next one is born. Now.for the positives .think about the value of having another child that will grow up with your last baby. You will have in essence a second and special family. You are older, wiser, more patient, and will have more time to enjoy these little ones. Let him know you are concerned as well as he is but it is a reality and a gift and you both need to embrance the new baby and all the possibilities it presents. Try to find out what is really bothering him. it may be finances or something else...not embarressment as you already have a 1 year old. I can understand this reaction from your children but find it strange coming from your spouse. there may be something else bothering him like the added financial drain or he may be worried about you and your health or even the higher possibility of a child with birth defects as so happens in older mothers. He needs to know you love him and are concerned about how he is feeling. Together you can make it.

I am 38 and my husband is 52 and we are the loving parents of an active 18 month old daughter. My husband also has a 24 year old daughter from his first marriage.

Though our daughter was absolutely a planned pregnancy, I would be lying if I didn't say that both of us were frightened at the prospect. My husband especially for all the same reasons you and others here have mentioned.

I believe the best you can do is talk to your husband about his fears. Let him freely express where he is coming from without judgement or criticism. I would venture to guess being embarrassed isn't the real (or the only) reservation he has. As well, you should be able let him know how you are feeling without judgement or criticism. Just as you are entitled to feel the way you do...so is he. Both are equally as valid.

As so many others have said here, many more couples are having children later in life. (Look at us...and more than half of Hollywood!) In fact it seems to be becoming the "norm". I would imagine your husband is not the oldest father on the soccer field.

I wish you both the best of luck. To you I say - congratulations! And (as another reader said) please take good care of yourself and your precious baby.

Now adays a lot of grandparents are raising their grandchildren, and seem to be doing a good job of it! There are many many women on email lists I am on who have a child at 40 or older. It's really not uncommon.

Congratulations! I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy and delivery.

I used to say I didn't want any children after 30, and now that I am 29 I realize that 30 isn't that old!

I have 4 children and the oldest is 5. I don't believe in looking at children as a burden, they are ALWAYS a blessing! Check out www.quiverfull.com. If you are a Christian you and your husband may find some comfort in the Scriptures there.

S.

He'll come around once the baby is born. Encourage him to participate by letting him know how much the child needs an involved father and how fortunate the child is to have that. There are many great moms out there, but not nearly as many great dads. He may be having issues about the added expense of another child. Here you just got your last one off to school! You will have to take off at least a month while the baby is born, and you may want to take off longer to get the child off to a good start. Have you discussed a vasectomy/getting your tubes tied? Perhaps that will give him some peace of mind so he will be free to enjoy the new baby.

Hi.
Do not feel bad about it. Feel lucky.
I am 47 years old. I have never been able to concieve. We decided several years ago to adopt. We were on waiting lists for 1 and 1/2 years. We adopted our first child in 1999 and we have now adopted our third child in 2006. I am 47 and have a 9 year old, a 6 year old and a 2 year old.
People often ask me if my 2 year old is my grand daughter. I look them in the eye and say no she is my baby daughter. They never say a thing to that. They are usually older than me, so I think that they must have had early grandchildren. My son's parents are always surprised if they find out my age. They always think I am in my late 30s. Age is a state of mind. Do not worry what others think. Old is also a stage of mind.
I would love to have a teenager right now. Since my kids love big kids.
I really think you are lucky.
L.

The "surprise" just takes a little time to sink in....I also think men have a mid life crisis, hard to diagnose sometimes. Just like with your other children, once the little darling arrives, it will never be discussed again! I have an 18 yr old, 12 yr old, and alost 2 yr old. I am 35, and husband is 42. Our youngest is probably enjoyed more than the other 2, simply because of our life experiences, and parental maturity. Good Luck!
S.

My husband was 52 when his last child was born. It was quite a shock, he was very upset and unhappy to say the least (what everyone tells me). His wife at that time had told him she couldn't have children..... What a shock!
He had 3 other children ages 32 to 21! AND 3 grandchildren ranging in age 11 - 6mos.

We were married when this child was 6, my kids were 9 and 14.

'Our' youngest (as I claim him, too) has been such a blessing to our blended family - I can't imagine life without him! He's graduating from college this summer. Although we didn't have this child on a daily basis, he was at out home as much as possible.

My husband has a special relationship with this child, quite different from his other children. I think it has to do with my husband being at a different place in his life.

Has my husband been teased about this child - you bet! At first I believe he had a hard time of it. When we met this child was 4, my husband had accepted it but it was still a touchy subject. Now he just laughs it off. I like to think my attitude about it all helped him get over the stigma of being so 'old' and having such a young child. Yes he was older, and yes he had a young child - so what?

OH YES!, we've heard all the jokes about paying child support while on social security (did that), is this your grandchild? etc, etc... It's ended up being a family joke for ALL of us - we really get a kick out if it. At this time, our 6 kids range in age from 55 to 23, and 11 grandkids ages 35 to 1y!

Attitude is everything.

Give your husband a chance. 40 is not very old! We have friends who have waited until their late 30s and early 40s to even start their families! Could something else be bothering him??????