Husband vs Dog

Train the dog to be indoors and tell hubby to give the dog a decent opportunity to being an inside dog. Animals are trainable provided their owners are willing to train them. It does not take long to train an animal... and the reward will be unconditional love. Tell the hubby to get a grip and think how long it has taken him to be trained to pick up after himself or is he still in "training"....Do you understand?

Oh and give the dog a weekly bath...

As a pet lover I hate to say it, but if it is causing that much stress the puppy should leave BEFORE you get any more attached to it... marriage has to come first.

Why not get him to compromise and install a doggy door? My dog was potty trained really really quick with a doggy door and has never had any accidents. We also put up a baby gate in the kitchen so she doesnt have free reign of the house. (In other words so she doesnt chew any more stuff when we are not home)

I don't think this is really about a dog at all. I think it is a power struggle between you and your husband because you might have a history of not honoring commitments you make to him. Several red flags in your letter that you might want to think about...
"He never wanted us to get a dog in the first place..." (which means you forced the issue)
"I reluctantly AGREED with him that it would be an outdoor pet..." (you agreed to get what you wanted)
"...fighting non-stop about it because I can't help but make little remarks calling him an ogre..." (you mock him and are rude to him because you aren't getting your way, when he is only reinforcing something you agreed to in the first place)
"My plan was to crate train the puppy and basically have him as an indoor dog..." (you already had your plan in place regardless of what your spouse wanted.)

This is really about a power struggle in your marriage. The dog is just one more instance where your husband feels like you made an agreement, a commitment, and then went about doing what you wanted anyway. Stop and ask yourself: Do you do this often? Do you tell your husband one thing to satisfy him and then do what you wanted to do all along because that is what you wanted?

I too, love dogs. I too, love indoor animals that are part of the family. So I understand what you are saying. But there is a reason that your husband has dug in his heels on this one and it is time for you to LISTEN to him.

Another question: What are you teaching your children when you bring this dog in when he is not home? You are teaching them that they only need to honor their father to his face. You are teaching them that daddy doesn't really need to be obeyed, you only have to pretend to obey him. These are very serious issues that you need to think about.

If you cannot live with the dog outside, then you need to re-home the dog. And if it comes to that, you need to make certain that you do not make your husband out to be the bad guy with your children. Because he isn't the bad guy in this situation...he is the guy who got railroaded into a dog that he didn't want, then expected his family to honor his conditions for the dog.

VickiS

First of all, remember that your husband loves you and the kids. He said he worked so hard to have the house and the things you love, and he doesn't want to see it all destroyed. Your puppy is a lot happier in the yard than he would be in a crate. A crate in the house should be a "den" for him, a place he can go to "get away." I do believe in crate training dogs, but not confining them for long periods of time.

Have you thought of taking your puppy to a puppy kindergarten class? They hold them at Petsmart and other such places. Perhaps if your husband sees your little guy being obedient, he'll be more open to having the dog in the house.

I agree with Vicki S. You made a decision with your husband and now you have to honor that. You are teaching your kids many life lessons with this whole situation.

This is not a power thing with your husband. He is not the bad guy/ogre. He just wants you to stick with what you agreed on and I think letting the dog inside during the day is dishonest. How is he going to feel/react when he comes home early and finds the dog inside? How will that reaction make your kids feel? They don't understand that YOU told him the dog would stay outside and you aren't keeping your word.

Labs are the best! We have a lab. There is NO WAY, however that I would want him inside. He is HUGE. His name is Kodiak (like a bear) for a reason. He sheds terribly! I have been complaining about the hair everywhere OUTSIDE. I can't imagine having it all over our house. Yuck! (We have him in an air conditioned shop building when it is extremely hot outside and we live by a pond that he swims in.)
Personally, I think big dogs need to stay outside.

Stephanie

your marriage is more important than the dog. You agreed that it would be an outside dog keep it outside.

Hi A.
I'm so sorry for your situation.
And of course I can totaly understand the love what is coming up, when you add a furry friend to your family.
I grew up with a lot of pets. We had (one after one) dogs and cats (even one after one). We had hens and a rooster, ducks, rabbits, and and and... My dad was a little bit a hobby farmer. And the dog could go always out, but was an inside dog. Always.
Even at the time that I moved from my parents home, I had two parakees. I was working to so different times every day, that I didn't could add another pet.
After years that I found my mister right, I adopted a dog from an animal shelter. Oh, I remember, my fiancee was not really happy with this. At this time I/we lived in a appartment, so the dog had to stay inside.
So, I did it all with 'Dito'. After a while, my husband made friend with him. We moved so often in the following time, with the first baby and dog, with the second child and dog.
Dito always 'adopted' the baby girls and had never bad concerns about our moving.
Just be with us semes to be the most important thing for him.
Even our big move from Europe to the USA, he did fine.
Now, Dito is a old doggie, and two years ago, we added a lab puppy to the family. The first time wasn't easy, to show Dito that he just got an compagnon. And a puppy is much more work then an adult dog.
Maya develop to a wonderful female lab, loves the girls, us and our older doggie.
I never could live without a pet. And my husband is the same.
We love to have a lot of life around. And it is so good for our children to grew up with the love to/from animals and the responbility.
Why I'm telling you this, is, that I want bring close to you, that you have to think about again, if it maybe the right way to add a puppy to your family, who needs a lot of attention and of course his family and the love from this family, to grew to a really good dog.
Maybe it would be better for you all, to give the puppy away to another family, who wants him really. Before it is to late, and all the wonderful attributes in this kind of breed get hurds.
Think about a smaller animal, maybe a 'main coon cat', hamster or something like this. The kids would loves this animals too, and this animals don't can destroy your home, and you and your husband don't fight anymore.
It doesn't make sense, when your marriage gets hurd about a pet.
I live in the same area like you, if you need a friend, someone you want talk to, or if the situation get's down, and your family stays with the dog, and you are looking for a doggie-walk, contact me.
Wish you and your family the best.
E. (SAHM with 2 girls 5+8, and a little zoo.)

Okay, first of all, when you discuss this with your hubs, don't use the argument where you compare the puppy to a baby. A baby is a person. A dog is not a person. Yes you love the dog but it is not your flesh and blood. Now, as far as the dog goes, look at your addendum 2: you want the dog inside now so that it can be inside forever. "Grow up INSIDE with US" you said. So, don't try to convince your hubs that he should let the dog in now for a little while, then you will make the dog go back outside later, when clearly that isn't what you're planning to do. My suggestion is this: continue to play with the dog outside. Enjoy the dog outside. Honor your husband by honoring his wishes. If he isn't usually stubborn and you can usually get your way, but he's digging in his heels on this one, then it must be serious for him. He's choosing his battles here. I would say, your marriage is more important. And that dog will love you even if it's outside all the time. Dogs don't have to be inside dogs to know how their owners feel about them. The dog is lots of fun and can be like a member of your family. But, bottom line, if this is causing so much trouble, you need to decide if it's worth breaking your marriage? TRY to compromise. That means both of you, not just him.

I have not read all the other posts, but I feel that all animals should be allowed inside during hot and cold months especially. I have a 14 year old "pound puppy". She is a mixed terrier and very unique as I have NEVER seen one like her. With the right training, having a dog inside is not an issue. It was hard at first but she did eventually get the message. There were products out there now that pull the urine smell out of things too. During my dog's training, I kept all the doors closed to bedrooms so I could watch her and make sure she did not chew on anything...I also made sure to praise her for chewing on her rawhide bone and disciplined her for chewing on furniture.

IMO, leaving a dog outside all the time is not training them at all. Your husband needs to get over his childhood issues and see how joyful a dog can be inside the house. By sneaking the dog inside while your DH is away is confusing the dog and the dog may actually learn to not trust or respect your husband.

Try to talk it out again. Maybe have the dog inside a few hours during the hot spells of the day and show your husband how you (and the kids) are training the dog.

Tough situation to advise on. I will be praying for your family.

J. S.

I would have to side with your hubby on this one. 1. He didn't really want a dog, but agreed under the condition that it be an outside dog - which means he has already compromised. 2. He hasn't changed his mind, you have. You went into it thinking he'd let the dog inside, well, he still feels the same way, so shame on you for making him feel bad when he hasn't changed anything! 3. Even though the puppy is small now, it's a lab, it is going to get big. And, again, I feel like your hubby. Big dogs need to be outside. If you wanted an inside dog, maybe you should have gotten a smaller dog, not one that is going to be big. I'm sure there are many that will sympathize with you, but I feel like inside dogs need to be small and bathed often and VERY well trained (not to jump on people, not to beg for food, not to go to the bathroom indoors) and big dogs need to be outside, with a family that will spend time with them outside and play with them outside. Big dogs that go out and in tend to smell b/c you just can't keep up with the bathing of them. Again, I'm sure there are others that will disagree, I've just been to too many people's houses where the big inside dog has jumped on me, slobbered on me, and they think it's just fine...well, it's gross!

My husband was the same way about big dogs. It was just his thing, that little dogs could be inside, but big dogs were outside. That was until he met my 95+ lbs. German Shepard- inside only! Dogs are healthier and cleaner when they are inside. Not to mention, that most people have better trained dogs when they are inside, because they have to live with the mess if the dogs aren't trained.

I can understand your husbands concern about a dog tearing up the house, but if you don't train the puppy now- it will tear up the house when it is older. My dog was in the house from 10 weeks on- until he died a few weeks ago at 13 years. When he was outside as a puppy he would chew up all my dad's landscaping- ate all the plants, dug holes in the yard, and demolished the koi pond. When he was inside, he never ate anything- no furniture, no shoes, nothing. We are planning on getting another German Shepard when we move to a bigger house.

It all has to do with training. Crate training is the best for housebreaking. My German Shepard was completely housebroken in 2 weeks- yes he had some accidents over the years, but normally when he was sick. Being an inside dog, also helps owners notice if their dog is sick. If they have an accident you notice it, if they are outside dogs go too long without people noticing they need medical care. One of the plus' to having a big dog inside, most people are afraid of them and won't bugularize your house. If they are outside- they can't protect what is in.

Maybe yall can make a contract- try the inside thing, with training. If the dog eats so much stuff, then he goes back to being outside? See what yall can compromise on.
Good Luck!

Wow! I think it is good to honor your word to your husband and not push him at this time. I was told that if a man is defending his standing then he is at least in his mind considering the alternative. Keep working on getting the dog trained and crate train the dog for some time each day outside so that you know he won't bark all day if and when you get permission to bring him inside. It is pretty hot 107 these days so maybe your husband will change his mind. Work on training that puppy. I love The Dallas Dog Trainer. We have two yellow labs. They are indoor dogs and we are builing a house on Villanova, University Park, so I sure hope we won't be white trash. My first lab is now 13+ years but she was trained so well that she got the diaper bag, the morning news, and was even a model for Nieman Marcus catalog. These dogs are very friendly and sociable and can be trained to be a part of paws therapy where they go to the hospital or nursing homes and make friendly visits. I don't think that is viewed as WT. The second dog we got this last Christmas. She was rescued at 18 months old but she was crate trained which is why I agreed to two large dogs. With some training she is now riding behind the jet ski on the inner tube with my kids.
I have trained some of my friends dogs from what I learned from Mark Minerly with TDDT and he told me to take the dog to the park and do obstacle courses so the dog learns it's capabilities and limitaions as well as to trust you. We recycle concrete and had all the southern area disater and rescue dogs train at our facility for the 911, many of those dogs are inside dogs.
We have two dogs and three kids, ages 11,7,and 20months. We look forward to moving into the Highland Park school district next year. How do you like the area?
Anyways good luck and feel free to email me.

Grrrrrrrrr . . . your post hit a chord with me. Dogs are very social and need to be part of the family. If you get one, you need to be able to make that commitment. You and your husband should have agreed to that BEFORE getting a dog. The Texas heat is way too brutal to expect a dog to be outside all the time. And, yes, you are quite correct. A dog that stays outside will be smelly all the time.

I have two large dogs who are house dogs. And I dare your husband to call me "white trash." What a crock! Your husband may have grown up poor, but sounds like he's a snob now. I probably would boot the husband and keep the dog (in the house!) {tongue in cheek}

Do the dog a favor. If you can't convice your husband, then let someone have the dog who is going to make sure that all of its needs are taken care of . . . not just food and water, but proper shelter and family socialization.

My heart goes out to you and your children.

I agree, he should be inside. Especially b/c of his age and the fact that it's SO hot outside. Have you offered to get a baby gate and only let him in a certain area? He's GOING to have accidents, but so did your kids and you didn't throw them in the back yard b/c of it! Maybe make a compromise like, only in the house until it cools off and he's a little older, but maybe when he's housebroken, bring him inside at night.

You hit a nerve with me. I am involved in lab rescue and really wish people thought it through before getting a puppy. I have met very few well socialized and well behaved outside dogs. They are usually forgoten. I have a beautiful 5000 sq ft home with a 90 pound lab living inside all the time. When he was young we would crate him if we weren't able to watch him. We had a trainer come to the house weekly and we worked with him in between. Everyone says he is the best behaved dog they know. I am careful to clean alot, so our house doesn't have dog hair everywhere or smell like dog. If you want to be fair to everyone, try to compromise with your husband and try the crate and training. A puppy can train at 8 weeks. If it doesn't work, try to find a good home for your dog. Since you hit a nerve I have to add that there is no such thing as a "white" lab. Labs come in 3 AKC colors: Yellow, Black, and Chocolate. You have a very light colored yellow lab. Yellow covers the colors from almost white to fox red. A "white" puppy can also get darker as it gets older. Good luck with your puppy.

My husband and I have had disagreements in the past about our dog too. We have a crate in our house that our dog goes in when we need her to. She's indoors mostly, however she does stay outdoors sometimes too.

I agree with the other posts about suggesting your puppy beindoors and training her and the bonding and all.

What we do with our dog is we have a gate and our dog stays in our den only. We have hardwood floors in other areas of our house and our dog isn't allowed on the hardwood floors. I would suggest writing your husband a letter (best option) or talking to him if you all can talk without getting upset with each other and yelling,etc.. I agree with someone else who posted using a laundry room or extra bedroom for the crate and the dog or use your den if you can get gates and enclose the dog in a certain area.

They sell gates at Petsmart and Petco and Dr. Foster and Smith (catalog-online and thru the mail). Your kids could help out with keeping the dogs area clean. I've found it is easier when you restrict the dog to one room or smaller area of your house instead of letting the dog roam all over the house. Dogs do shed and we have a Lab/Border Collie and our dog sheds a lot. It is also easier to clean up the hair when you only have one room, as opposed to the whole house!

Labs are great dogs, however do chew a lot and are very loyal and want lots of attention. Training would help a lot, I would recommend training where you learn with your dog.

Outside you could get a flexible type pen/gate that you can move and make a circle or square type shapes. It is a long gate that folds up when you don't need it. This is perfect for puppies and would prevent your puppy from getting into things in the backyard. Yes, in this extreme heat you don't want your puppy out there long periods. You could have your puppy outside early morning and at little in the evening,when it is coolest. You could set a timer for 30 minutes and have your puppy stay outside during those times.

Obviously, your husband has had a bad experience growing up with dogs/living in home. I would ask him more about this and what specifically he didn't like about it growing up. Get to the root of the problem and then work out a reasonable solution for your home.

You could have the puppy inside for 3/4 of the day and outside for the rest of the time. Maybe your husband will agree to something like this. There needs to be a compromise where you will let the dog outside for some of the time and he will let the dog inside for some of the time.

If this doesn't get worked out between the two of you. You can always talk to a minister, counselor- someone neutral about this issue also. Hopefully, this can be resolved between the two of you. Try the letter and if that doesn't help then talk to him when you all have time to be alone, maybe before bed. Share with him your concerns and ask for him to compromise and say that you will compromise also and that you both need to work out a plan together on this.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

A.,

I'm with you. I think the puppy is probably adorable and should be inside. However, your hubby is probably right in terms of long term. You could make him in and out...not leave him outside all day, and bring him in just enough to keep him happy and not too hot...but as he gets older, he will get used to being one or the other and switching later will not be easy on him. So, for the long term, he probably needs inside and outside...I mean, in 104 degree temp it is much better for him to be inside. Hope that helps!

Have you thought about Mans best friend or petsmart training program..
It would be a compromise and make everyone happy...
Good luck

We have a 2 year old Golden who is an inside dog ALL the time. When we are not home or asleep, he is crated. Unless he is by our side, he is barking at the back door non-stop to come in. Drives me nuts because I feel dogs should spend some time outside during the day. Some breeds are just that way and need to be close to you. I know nothing of the breed you are referring to. Even with misters and fans, this heat is downright cruel for any dog, in my opinion. If WE are uncomfortable under the fans and misters, put on a 10 lb fur coat! I understand your husband wanting to train him from the onset that he is an outside dog but depending on how old the puppy is, it is most likely going through some trauma just being separated from it's mother and siblings. The first few days are critical to bonding time. I personally think being in the crate OR outside gives the dog a sense of where it will spend most of its time but I have never been one to believe that dogs are full-time outside creatures. I think you'd be surprised to see that when you open the crate, the dog would automatically head for your door to go out over time. People who leave their dogs outside all day don't treat their animals as pets but rather animals. Lastly, if your dogs is crying that much, be careful. We have had neighbors call the police on other neighbors for the disturbance they can cause when sleeping or trying to keep one's sanity! Good Luck to you!

I agree with the majority of the posts here so all I'm going to add is that if you decide to get some training for the dog, DO NOT take him to Man's Best Friend. You do not want to take your dog to any trainer where you drop the dog off and then all the training is done without you, the owner. You should be involved in the training so that the dog respects you. I know people who have used MBF and the dogs come back differently and in a couple of cases, bit the owners so badly they had to be euthanized.

I affirm you for wanting an inside dog. We have had inside dogs for years (after growing up in a household where NO animals were allowed inside and in my early adulthood I felt the same). We ABSOLUTELY LOVE having our dogs inside. We don't, however, have dogs that shed and do not have puppies. We adopted after they were older. However, the joy we receive now makes me think I would even put up with those nuisances if I had to (not the peeing and pooping--couldn't do that).
Well, A., you have unfortunately put yourself in an almost untenable position on this issue. It sounds as if you got your husband to agree (wore him down, maybe)to get a dog by agreeing to something you may have had no intention of actually doing (having an outside dog)and whether or not you have admitted this to him, I suspect he senses it. You state that "I am one of those people who thinks that they can get their way in the end". A., sweetheart, you must know that is a very manipulative way to operate in the world. :) I suspect there has been a pattern of this kind of manipulation in your marriage and unconsciously your husband is reacting to that history as well.
Several issues are affecting this problem:
1) You have reniged on your agreement and your husband may be feeling "betrayed";
2) The "nonstop arguing" over this issue may be causing your husband to feel you are making him appear the "bad guy" to the kids when you originally agreed with him;
3) You sort of own operating in the world in a sort of manipulative way of planning to get your way in the end;
4) Your husband appears to have been deeply scarred in his childhood from being poor and with his parents being so lacadaisical (sp) about cleaning up after the dogs and also not requiring the children to help or perhaps the kids were expected to do all the cleaning up after the dogs and it was overwhelming. In any case, children are relatively powerless over their parents when they are young and if he hated the dog situation in his home, that would create a deep scar, which sounds as if it has not healed. Now, he is in charge in his own home in Highland Park no less, and will have none of that uncleanliness to the extent he has become rigid about it and does not trust that having an inside dog AND a clean home could happen simultaneously;
5) You are putting your husband's trust at risk by bringing the dog inside when he is away. I would stop that at once. You will get caught and even if you don't, you will know you are being dishonest with your husband and that causes ruptures in the intimacy between spouses; secrets in intimate relationships are extremely hurtful;
6) Neither of you seem to be considering compromises or alternatives; you both appear to be locked into your own position. And now you are battling the "wall" your husband has put up about dogs inside.
My suggestions:
1) STOP! Stop the arguing about the dog at once. Stop the labeling (ogre) etc.
2) Just keep the dog outside at all times FOR NOW (you admit that he is comfortable, just being a puppy and wanting to be with the "pack".
3) Move his crate outside and begin to crate train him outside. Put his treats etc. inside the crate and leave him for a few minutes at a time at first with the door closed. Leave the door open when he is not in it.
4) Begin puppy training with a professional ASAP!
5) Train your kids (and yourself) to keep the patio VERY CLEAN. Puppies can be messy as you are probably finding out.

AMENDMENT. I HIT SEND WHEN I MEANT TO HIT BACK. ;)

6) In a few weeks or months, when the puppy is behaving very well through obedience training and the patio has been kept very clean and your husband has been able to observe how well behaved your dog is, how much the kids love him and how much he enjoys seeing the kids enjoy him, ask your husband if he would be WILLING to revisit the idea of letting the dog live inside AND ask him what would he need to SEE, FEEL OR HEAR from you and the kids that would help him feel better about the issue of the dog inside. Assure him that you will either have a dog door installed or immediately train the dog to signal you when he needs to go outside (Trainer can help you with this using a bell for him to ring, etc.) Actually, I encourage you to read GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT by Dr. Harville Hendrix to learn how to do a Couples Dialogue before approaching the issue with your husband. You will learn how to see this issue from his perspective (although you don't have to agree content-wise with him, you just have to be able to stretch out of your position in order to vicarously experience what it is like from his perspective), how to validate his feelings from his perspective (although you may not feel that way from your perspective) and how to empathize with his feelings, and how to propose a way to resolve an issue so that both people are respected. Going through this process will help to lessen or eliminate any defensiveness that gets in the way of resolving seemingly unresolvable issues.

You have sort of gotten yourself in a corner on this issue and it doesn't seem like it will be resolved easily and should not just be "smoothed" over. It will come up again EVERY time there is some misbehavior with the dog and can grow into a "chasm" beween you. Don't let that happen. A dog can be a joy if all members of the family love the dog or at least are OK with its presence. If this issue seems to be truly unresolvable, that is, neither of you feels OK with the situation, see a therapist, preferably, in my mind, one who is trained in IMAGO therapy, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix. You can find one near you by looking at www.gettingtheloveyouwant.com .

Good luck and I hope you all grow to love the puppy/dog and find a way that you all can be happy with it.

I would stand my ground....$1000 for a precious dog is alot of money and should not be left outside all day....How would he like to be left outside ALL day in 105 degree weather ??? and you cannot house train him or train him at all if he stays OUTSIDE all the time.....Hang in there !!!for the dog and the children ....

A.- I totally agree- first of all the only "white trash" are the ones kept outside all the time- b/c the people buy dogs and don't have room for them inside- When you leave the dog out there- it looses the socialization skills and I do not care what anyone says- this heat is a killer. Agreeing to the outside thing sort of got you jammed - but.....maybe you can put it to a family vote. I had a 115 lb yellowe lab retriever and Buddy was only 7 and died after coming here from NJ- He made the entire trek cross country with my husband and wound up dying of cancer 6 months later- it just devasted us. We were just beside ourselves. He was an indoor pet but enjoyed his jaunts outside everyday. We even shaved him down to accomodate the heat and the hair in the house-Gosh I still miss him terribly- he was a member of the family- Love the breed.
If you have room for this dog in your house- that's where it should be- of course he should spend time outside and all- but his bed should be right next to a family members on the floor. ESPECIALLY in the lab family- they are family dogs.It's their job to tend to the family and check on everyone. He will get the attention all day long- the every now and then pat on the head and the occasion table scrap- things he wont get outside. If you don't have the room inside and he is going to be kept outside it will be a bone of contention with you and your husband forever- trust me. So- you may be better off getting rid of it.
I have a 13 lb Havanese and a 120 Rotty Dobby mix and they are indoor dogs but enjoys hours of play outside.
Just the tick and dirt factor alone- I wouldn't have them "live" outside. This puppy was taken from his mom expecting you guys to be his family- not to be left abandoned outside- It all depends what you want- family pet-hunting dog- or junk yard dog.
I'm with you-
good luck!
D.

Is your husband not the head of your house? You are blessed that you have a good one and his wish should be honored. Especially since you agreed not to have the dog inside to begin with.

I can relate to your problem. We have just renovated our house due to a new baby. We had four dogs and two cats. All inside/out animals. When we pulled out the carpet we were shocked. The amount of dirt and hair was amazing. I did vaccum almost daily but its just not good enough. So, now all the pets are outside. We made a "Cat Hotel" in the garage with it's own door. We added an enclosed porch with a dog door for the dogs. I grew up with my pets indoors as well. Infact, usually sleeping on the bed. My husband put down his foot too, no pets inside. I have cheated though and on those hot days I bring them into the kitchen. They do have lots of shade and plenty of water.
Here are two things to consider...at night we would put our son to bed and our lab would go lie down in his room until he fell asleep. Every night, my son felt safe and secure with her there, they were best friends. This went on for over 9 years until she passed away.
The other thing is that dogs are pack animals. They don't like to be alone. Have you considered another dog? Maybe a rescue from the pound. Although, you spending the day with the puppy is a good thing to do.
Something else you might try is, getting your husband more attached. Does he take the dog for rides in the car, or maybe have him take the dog to the dog park. Have them spend time together alone and they will form a special bond and maybe your husband will soften a bit. Good luck.

Your husband apparently had a very bad experience as a child and from the sounds of it was very embarrassed by it. You said yourself that he did not even want the dog but at least met you in the middle and finally said yes with your agreement that the dog stays outside. Kids need to be outside playing anyways, the dog will get plenty of attention during this time. Night time he should be outside guarding his territory. You need to do uphold your end of the agreement and keep the dog outside. By bringing him in you are only making matters worse.

compromise and have the dog crate in the laundry room or an extra vacant room guest room/ mud room. What really bothers your husband about having the puppy inside any smell, accidents, shedding? It is too HOT for any animal to be outside 24/7....
good luck...

get rid of the dog. It needs to have good care. NOt in the Texas sun.

L

If you agreed before you got the dog to keep it outside, you shouldn't change your part of the agreement.

Of course, I don't hink this heat is acceptable for an animal to be outside even with the shade/misters.

Also, training the puppy (and maintaining the training on a daily routine) and family will make it easier to see that animals can be well kept inside dogs.

This sounds sooo familiar! I am glad to hear that another couple has a similar issue. I think my husband and I have had more struggles over our Golden Retriever than our children. My husband agreed to get a dog reluctantly (our dog is now 2 years old) because I wanted one so badly. I even got a male dog thinking that they would bond. My husband grew up with dogs; however, they were outdoor pets. I grew up with dogs that were considered part of the family. I went ahead and trained our Golden to stay only in the kitchen and family room so that it would be a compromise (we have a large kitchen and family room area). Well there was conflict early on. My husband loves to garden and our little puppy loved to pull up plants. The relationship started off pretty badly :) Anyway, we still have the dog; however, I should have maybe gotten rid of him because it has caused so many fights. We never really fought until we got our dog. I just couldn't get rid of him because I just love him so much. Anyway, my husband is starting to adjust now that he is out of the puppy stage and behaving much better. He doesn't tear up my husband's plants anymore. In fact, I get compliments on how well behaved he is. Now I am trying to talk my husband into letting him stay outside the crate during the day while we are at work b/c he is much older now. I don't have a whole lot of advice other than either getting rid of the dog or understand that there will just be a continued disagreement between you and your husband. I don't think his mind will change about thinking that the dog should be outside. Especially, since he agreed on the condition that it would be an outside dog. I can tell you that the fights about the dog have reduced quite a bit after two years now that our dog is older and out of the puppy stage. He is still not in love with the dog and still has the view that all pets should be outside; however, we just agree to disagree. Maybe you could try to come to a compromise??

Hi A., just a couple of things to think about...

1. Your dog picks up on your attitude and your energy, if you feel bad that he stays outside, he will also feel bad and eventually start acting up. On the same token, if you act like this is just the way things are, that dogs stay outside while people stay in, he will be at ease and wait patiently for you outside... he may even ENJOY the break from the kids.

2. If given the choice would you rather sleep all night in a small confined crate or sleep in a nice fluffy bed out on the patio? Would you want to stay in a crate when your family goes to the store or would you rather play outside until they return? Would you like to be stuck in a crate within earshot of your family laughing, snoring, eating or would you rather be outside enjoying the weather while they're busy?

3. Would you like living in a confused house with confused parents who contradict themselves and argue? Where the rules change with each parent home, where you don't know your place in the family? Or would you rather have the same consistent rules every day and night... so you can learn the rules and excel at them. (talking about you telling him it's okay to come in sometimes but when husband is home telling him sorry you have to stay out now)

4. If none of these things ease your mind, possibly you can convince your husband to let the dog stay in one room of the house. You can get a doggy gate, similar to a baby gate but much taller and install it in one doorway. Maybe you have a game room or den that he could be confined to. Somewhere the kids can play with him and love on him but when you need to do other things or when company is over you can go somewhere else in the house without him. I personally think he would rather be outside though, dogs aren't wired to live in a house where they have to be quiet and calm and stay out of everyones business.

Sounds strage, but I would advise a counselor. It sounds like there might be some issues from his upbringing (like my husband) that he allows to dictate him, even if he knows different.

I'm sorry to tell you but I have to side with your husband on this. If it was decided before you got your puppy that it would be an outside pet, then you have to hold up to the deal you made with your husband. I don't know your whole story but, from what you wrote, it sounds as if your husband would have never agreed to the puppy if it was going to be an inside pet.

I know it's hard because puppies are so cute and sweet but, if you've asked your husband to let the puppy stay inside and explained how you feel about it and he is still adamant about the puppy remaining outside, then you really don't have a choice but to keep the dog outside.

One thing I can guarantee you is that your children are not happy with the tension in the house. You may think you are keeping it from them but children are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. They will eventually begin to lash out against either the dog or your husband (and most likely it will be against your husband - they will follow your lead).

What you have to ask yourself is this: Is the puppy or your husband more important to you? Does the puppy or the husband play a more vital role in your children's lives? Are you concerned about how your husband feels about the situation or are you only concerned about yourself?

I'm sorry to be so straight forward but I think your marriage and the mental welfare of your children is more important than a cute puppy.

I have had both inside and outside dogs. I always take them for walks and give them attention every day......and they are always loyal and happy to see me. The more you sneak this dog into the house, the harder it will be for him when he does have to stay outside for the sake of your marriage. From experience, a dog that stays outside as a puppy, does not mind staying outside...it is normal for him. I'm sure he would also cry if he was locked in his cage or in a laundry room. Puppies tend to cry to try and get their way.

A husband however, feels hurt, betrayed, and unloved when his wife treats him as if the dog is more important than he is and if she completely disregards his feelings about the situation.

Just something to think about.

How sad for that little puppy . . . First off, no one, person or animal, should be outside in this heat even w/covered porch and water misters. And I take extreme exception to that "white trash" comment because I grew up with labrador dogs who were always inside, well-trained, and yet they were also my father's hunting companions. I am not a believer in putting a dog outside full-time . . . I think it is cruel. He sounds very judgmental and is drawing conclusions from some past experiences; sounds like a trust issue if he thinks you'd let your house fall apart. I wish I had some good advise, other than a verbal slap to your husband to get over himself!

Read this prob after you had already responded with your results. Glad you worked it out. I was also glad to read all the advice.

We have a mostly outdoor dog. During the hot part of the day he comes in and sleeps on the tile floor. But he chooses to go out and lie IN THE SUN! after being inside for a while - I guess he wants to warm up! He also comes in and out a lot. We keep him treated for fleas and have a 2 1/2 acre yard and a covered back porch. He loves to run and a lot of neighbors say hi to him as they walk by. He runs from one end of the yard to the other, back and forth, very quickly - to greet them. He doesn't want to spend the entire time inside because he loves greeting the neighbors and keeping track of his "hood"

We keep plenty of water available and there's shade and I'm usually at home during the day and he comes in for the hottest part. He doesn't suffer that much and he really enjoys his life!

A., I am so sorry to hear about your situation. All dogs but especially Labs need to feel like they are a part of the family. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to hear the puppy crying...I couldn't do it. Perhaps your husband would be willing to listen to an expert or a dog trainer who could help him understand. However, given his upbringing this may not be possible. Remember, your children are learning how to treat animals from this situation. If your husband can't be educated and/or persuaded to let this puppy be a real family member it would probably be better and kinder to find him a home where he would be truly accepted and loved by ALL!

If the deal was that it's an outside dog, then it's an outside dog. Hubby has every right to be upset that you weren't honest about the agreement.

However, I think a puppy DOES need to spend time indoors, learning about the family, etc. Also, time indoors is the only way to house-train him, isn't it? I'd say he should be a mostly inside dog until he's about 6 months old and housebroken.

That said, the question of husband vs dog is a no brainer. If your marriage can't handle this dog, maybe there are some bigger issues underlying this disagreement....

I am with you on this one.. I think the puppy should be indoors. When you are not home you could either crate him or use a puppy gate. If he stays outside all day he will never get house trained as well. My husband and I have three dogs and they stay inside (one of them is even 120lbs) all day and go out for potty breaks. It's just too hot for a dog to be outside all day esp when it's a baby.

However, I have no idea on how to change your husband's mind. Some people are just not pet lovers and pet people. Both my husband and I are huge pet people so it's never been a problem between us.

A.,

I don't normally respond to these things, but I felt compelled to respond to yours. First let me say, that I agree dogs are usually better off being inside with the family. We have had a yellow lab, which is 100 lbs., for seven years now and he is an inside dog. My husband teases me all the time that I think he is a person, because I don't like leaving him outside for very long. He doesn't love the dog as much as I do, but he doesn't mind him being inside. I did crate train him, and also had a professional dog trainer because I have had some "problem" dogs in the past. With that said, though, I must also say that I am happily married and have been married for 26 years. Your title says husband vs. dog. As much as I love my dog, he doesn't even come close to my marriage. You agreed to have it be an outside dog when you got the dog and your marriage should come first. If the dog is safe outside, you should live up to your end of the agreement or sell the dog to someone who can keep it inside. If you really want to try to change your husband's mind...fighting with him and calling him names is NOT the way to go about it. Try looking for ways to make your husband happy and eventually he will do the same. You can try to reason with him without fighting, but ultimately if he doesn't see things the same as you, you should do what you said you would do and leave him outside. Good luck.

As someone else already suggested, please compromise. Also, it's very puzzling to me that your hubby would agree to that large of a financial commitment (the ongoing cost for pets isn't cheap either) and then not understand the effort necessary to make sure you have a good family pet. Just as it's important that human babies bond, it's the same with puppies and in the end, you'll have alot better behavior if the dog bonds with his humans. It's also very puzzling that your husband is so stubborn about this - maybe there's another underlying issue to be considered. Regardless, you need to communicate in a non-confrontational way that the puppy needs lots of time with the family - indoors right now due to the heat- if you want a good family pet. When the dog is bigger, outside during the day might actually be the dog's perference, but when we get into the cold of the winter, there will be times when the dog must also be indoors. I have two dogs and when the weather is nice, they do spend alot of time outside, but right now their time outside is limited. And, when the younger dog was a puppy he was in his crate at nite and whenever we could not watch him. Your dog should be house trained very soon, so this may soon be a non-issue if the housetraining is your husband's biggest concern. However, crates are not necessarily a bad thing and perhaps telling your husband that you'll continue to keep the puppy in the crate after housetraining might help. But, again, it seems so very strange that your husband wasn't onboard before you got the puppy. I can't help but think there's another issue and this is just a red herring.

A., I can so totally sympathize with you-as a person with three dogs, one of them not 100% wanted by me, I know how hard it can be when you and Dad don't agree on what to do with your poochie.

We just got a Great Dane in December and while he was cute and laid back when we got him, he's been a holy terror in our house-he's chewed up the cabinets in my kitchen and eaten holes in the drywall. When he pees in the kitchen, it's like a flood happened. When we talked about getting the dog, I was assured that he would be docile, laid back, not destructive, trainable, and all fabulous and this is NOT what we have going on here. Now this is an extreme case-frankly, I have wanted to KILL that dog so many times since we have had him. Not literally, but you get my meaning.

We had a lot of arguments because I was never 100% sold on getting this dog to begin with, but I reluctantly agreed to it for some unknown reason and here he is and there's no turning back. During our last big blowup, my husband asked me, short of getting rid of the dog, what would make me happy and I told him that I could live with this dog if only he had manners and stoppped destroying our house. So...he just started obedience classes today and has been trying to find ways to deter the chewing.

While I am still not 100% happy (this may improve after we get through these classes), I feel better that we at least discussed it like adults and I had the chance to explain my misgivings in detail.

My point-is it possible that you and your husband could have an honest sit-down discussion about the dog? Ask him to explain what his mis-givings are about having the dog in the house and really listen to what he has to say. Then explain how much effort you are willing to put into making sure that the dog is supervised and cared for if he's allowed inside and see if he would just agree to a trial, say a week or two. The key is to calmly discuss it, give your husband a chance to really explain his views while he's calm-you need facts, not emotion during this discussion if you are going to get anywhere.

I hope this helps and I wish you all the best.

Your husband is more important than a pup. Labs get real big, and most are happy outside when usesd to it, he is just lonesome for your company since you are with him so much. I think your husband felt like he went more than half way when he said you could get a dog, when he didn't really want one. If it were the other way around and he wanted something and you gave in under certain conditions, and immedietly he wanted to change the conditions , how would you take it. I think you and the kids should just be happy to have the dog, and you don't have to stay outside all day with it.Thats what I call spoiled. Play with it give it attention, but it isn't your first prioriety, and pups always whine and want more attention than a grown dog. He will be loyal and love you anyway. I live in a rural area, and unless it is one of those little bitty dogs, they all stay outside, (they are a dog) and they don't know they are supposed to be inside , they like it outside, and so will yours if given a chance. I is YOU that wants it inside. I think your husband has a right to have his wishes followed since he gave in and let you all have a dog. Be happy, don't think you have to be the only one that (gets your way).

This is Texas, not San Diego. It is nothing short of cruel to leave a dog outside all day in this extreme weather. Once everyone is back at work and school and the dog is left alone don't be surprised if you find your garden and everything else torn up as well. Labradors need company and become stressed if they are not part of the family. What is going to happen when he is no longer a cute little puppy but a big dog? Are your children responsible for taking care of him and cleaning up his mess and feeding him. Have you thought of what will happen when the novelty of having a pet wears off or what to do if you want to go away?
Our families have always had pets especially Labradors and have been through this many times over.
I hope that you and your husband can reslove this for the sake of your pet and before your children become too attached to him.

Well, this is unfortunate because dogs are PACK animals! This means it IS cruel to force them to lead a solitary existance outside. We have 3 inside dogs--two are small, and one is medium--large. They are all crate trained/house trained. I give all 3 a bath a once a week, plus every time they go outside to potty we wipe their paws and bums with baby wipes before they come back into the house. We are clean freaks and have made it work. I have to say I think it's really sad that you would bring an innocent, furry person into your family without being sure you could provide the life and love it deserves.

Hi A.! I can somewhat sympathize with you since we JUST got a cream golden retriever puppy 3 days ago and my husband is very anal about the house being clean. He is not as adamant about the dog being outside as yours but he is very firm on letting the puppy on the hardwood floor areas only until he is fully trained. Have you tried the puppy kong yet? Put a little peanut butter in it and give it to him at night in the crate so he doesn't cry as much. Let him sleep in the house(in the crate) if possible.
Anyway you have recieved PLENTY of advice so I just want to know about your misters. They sound great! I would love some for our patio. My son(and now puppy) love playing outside and I get pretty hot watching them from the patio. A mister would be perfect. Where did you get them???

I am not anti-animals however, I would agree with your husband about keeping the dog outside. And what are you teaching your children by going behind his back and letting the dog in the house during the day? It is a lack of respect. He let you guys get a dog, be happy with the arrangement.