Husband Is Against Potty Training!?

I think it's admirable to want to potty train. I do think you're a little early. Has he shown any signs of wanting to potty train? My first child(boy) showed interest at 18 months then didn't actually do it until 3. My second and third children potty trained at 34 months. Mt 4th at 31/2. When they were ready it took them a day or two to be done. Nights were a different story. My youngest will 2 next month and I would love for her to train early..hopefully! I have found when they're ready it doesn't take long.

Yup, too young. He probably doesn't have the communications skills, nor the physical control yet to potty train. If it were about taking off wet diapers, my daughter has been doing that since she was 8 months old and has ALWAYS hated wet diapers. I can't even imagine trying to potty train her yet, and she'll be 11 months this month.

If you are interested in toilet training, I'd start looking into elimination communication since he likes to remove his diapers.

I think 11 mos. is way too early to potty train - give him time and do it when HE is ready not when you are.

a 11 months is REALLY early to start potty training and the earlier you start the longer it takes to train them. Most boys arent really train able until at least 2.5 yrs. there are several things that they need to be able to do before they are ready to be potty trained its not just hey lets buy him a potty and make him go thing. It dosn't work that way they have to be showing interest first.

Physical signs

Is coordinated enough to walk, and even run, steadily.

Urinates a fair amount at one time.

Has regular, well-formed bowel movements at relatively predictable times.

Has "dry" periods of at least three or four hours, which shows that his bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine.

Behavioral signs

Can sit down quietly in one position for two to five minutes.

Can pull his pants up and down.

Dislikes the feeling of wearing a wet or dirty diaper.

Shows interest in others' bathroom habits (wants to watch you go to the bathroom or wear underwear.

Gives a physical or verbal sign when he's having a bowel movement such as grunting, squatting, or telling you.

Demonstrates a desire for independence.

Takes pride in his accomplishments.

Isn't resistant to learning to use the toilet.

Is in a generally cooperative stage, not a negative or contrary one.

Cognitive signs

Can follow simple instructions, such as "go get the toy."

Understands the value of putting things where they belong.

Has words for urine and stool.

Understands the physical signals that mean he has to go and can tell you before it happens or even hold it until he has time to get to the potty.

This is just an example of the skills that are identified as potty training readiness.

here is a website for more information on potty training.
http://www.nncc.org/guidance/toilet.train.html
when you do start I would recommend starting on the big toilet instead of getting him a potty chair, that way there's no transition trouble to the regular toilet.

again Boy's take longer than girls. My son is now 3.5 and has been day trained for about 3 or 4 months. I started early with my daughter and it took over a year to get her day trained.

Excuse me for being silly but are you buying your son a potty as a birthday present? Maybe he's more embarrassed at that fact then the fact that you're going to be potty training your son. You definitely need to make sure your son is ready if you're going to start so early. No matter what any mother says... we all do try to show off! Many will not admit it but we all do. Why else do we keep track of when they rolled over or crawled or walked? It frustrated me that my husband remembered certain facts of his life because he started to compare our son to himself at that age. I was able to tie my own shoes when I was two... I taught myself to ride without ever using training wheels... I wasn't afraid of holding a snake when I was two... etc. But you know what... I did point out that he spoke well for a two year old. He knew how to say anemone and tyrannosaurus rex and spinasaurus egypticus... he was really into dinosaurs and animals! Want to know if it is a bragging thing... ask yourself how many people you've told or asked about doing it already and what the reaction was and how you felt when you got that are you serious look. As long as you're sure this is what your son is ready for, go for it! Maybe your husband is protecting you and your son. These little disappointments can stick with the little ones when they just can't get it. Good Luck.

Hey, if you see signs that your son is ready listen to your gut. I'd guess that maybe 97% of American boys are not ready at his age, but you know your son. Delayed potty training seems to be a western thing. I know people from other countries that train their babies by 10 months out of necessity. It seems strange to me, but who am I to judge?

- - Let your husband go to the store & buy some diapers! -- So what if you want to show how smart he is - - It is even smarter of you to try to potty train - - my daughter got a potty for her 1st bday!! Good luck girl - - just do it - he'll get over it! If he won't buy a potty - train him on the big potty while hubby is at work!

I potty trained both of my boys sitting down at age 2.5yo. I totally understand about saving on diapers. My boys were just 14 months apart, but still I waited until they were ready and they wore underwear from the first day and night on.

I think you will be the one that is 'trained' to take him to the potty. Yes, he'll eventually get it, but in the meantime, there will be many, many accidents to clean up because he just won't understand that just yet. Now, having said that, there are definitely exceptions. Just don't be disappointed though.

I do have a friend at church and I believe she trained her boys at 16 to 18 months...something like that. Of course she had to ask them often about going to the potty, but they actually were pretty much potty trained.

If you do go ahead with taking your son to the potty often, just don't get to frustrated or upset when the accidents happen. Sometimes, we moms can get so upset at the child when they really aren't ready yet. Good luck!

question should not be how to convince husband - question should be is your child ready for potty training. Talk to your pediatrician about signs of readiness if your child does not meet ALL of them,then he is not ready.

Wanting to save money - do not buy a potty, let him learn to potty on the real thing.

I have a 4 year old girl (who was potty trained by 1). We bought the potty chair and it never got used, she prefered the real potty that mommy used. I have a 2 year old boy who is just now starting to potty train. He prefers the real potty too. Also with him, it's less mess for him to pee in the big potty, the little potty gets pee around it, but not in it.

Once you determine that your child is ready to potty train, then go at it. If you are the one at home then he is the one he's watching. If daddy doesn't want to help then...
My husband isn't opposed to potty training he just doesn't want to be taking our son to the potty every 20 minutes (which is what it'll take to reinforce the habit). Consequently, I do all the potty "teaching".

Good luck!

~A.

Like you said, it takes team work. If your husband is not on board with it, I would just wait. I think that's great if you are ready, but there are two other people that need to be ready, too and if your hubby isn't willing to help, you should probably just wait until he is so it will be a better experience for everyone. Potty training can be very stressful and though you will be doing most of the work, you will need emotional support from your husband. Your little boy would benefit the most from this, too, so he doesn't get stressed about potty training because you are both stressed out about it.

If you want to save money on diapers, you should check out cloth diapering. Some good sites I've found are bumgenius.com and fuzzibunz.com as well as many others!

J.,

I agree with your husband, it's way to early. Why add that stress to yourself and your BABY??? Just enjoy him, trust me, he won't go to college in diapers, it will come, when he is really ready.

I son recently told me that he doesn't wear daipers anymore, which really shocked me. So I went out and bought "big boy underwear" within 2 weeks HE had fully potty trained himself. I still can not believe it. He is 3.
Good luck with everything.

mt first question would be has your son shown any signs of being ready? also if its just about saving money have you thought about cloth diapers?

Wow, I think the way you are approaching potty training is great though a year old might be too young. My mother always told me boys usually take longer to train and it is often after the avaerage age for girls. My son is 19 months and he has no interest!!! It is frustrating to me though I do not show him that because I do not want him to get discouraged. I have all the potty training things you could think of but holding off until he wants to do it would probably be the best bet. Although...this is my first child (boy) so I am learning just as much as he is. Good luck. I know this was more of an opinion and did not help with how to get your husband on the same plane as you though I hope it helped some.

The biggest question here -is your son READY for potty training? Does he show interest in your potty habits, going to the potty -does he tell you when he's peeing or pooping? If he isn't showing any of the signs, then he's not ready. Most experts and people who have prior experience recommend starting potty training at 2 -or whenever the child shows a big interest in it. Boys are notoriously later to potty train than girls -although that's not always the case. This is something I certainly wouldn't rush. Also, maybe your husband wasn't that jazzed over giving your son a potty for his very first birthday. If I were you, I would read some parenting books and potty training books and wait until your son is giving cues. Probably closer to the next birthday. AND -your still going to need to buy diapers -pull ups and the like for awhile during potty training.

I bought my daugter a potty for her 1st birthday. I thought it was a great idea. She was showing some signs of being ready as well. However, I feel the need to warn you...have you ever heard the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink".
No matter how much prodding, encourgement, training, books,or videos you provide, in the end, it is up to the child to decide when they want to be "trained". My daughter will turn 3 next week and still will not poop on the potty. I have tried EVERYTHING...rewards (candy and toys), sticker charts, setting kitchen timers for set potty times, even enemas (with dr permission). Nothing has worked.
I have come to understand that she IS in fact trained...meaning she knows what to do and when to do it, she just has to WANT to. So now, as we approach her 3rd birthday, I am just waiting on her to make the decision. In the meantime, becasuse she is completely trained in the pee area...we choose celebrate her successes and playdown the failures.
Good Luck!!

Hi J., Maybe you should consider your husbands thoughts on the potty training issue, instead of trying to get him on board. It is important that men have a say, where it concerns his child. Some men have no oppinon at all about how his wife sees fit to raise his child. Your husband cares enough to speak up. Although he may not be as cofident about the subject, he has your child's best intrest in mind. Very few one year olds are ready for such an undertaking. Expecting to much to soon could crush a one year olds confidence and heighten their anxiety surounding potty training as well as other expectations you have for your child. The last thing you want is to make your child feel like a failure all because you wanted to save money on some diapers and forced an issue that your child was not ready for and your husband did not support.

If you are buying him a potty just to introduce it to him, that's one thing. But a one year old is most likely not ready to potty train.

My son started showing interest in the potty at 18 months old, but I am not going to potty train him until this summer when he turns 2. I bought the potty at 18 months and let him sit on it whenever he asks, but I'm not formally training him yet.

Hey there-
It isn't really ever too early to buy a potty and let him see it and know what it is. Although I wouldn't put too much pressure on him or yourself because most kids are not potty trained that early. I bought a potty when my daughter was 18 months and she is almost 3 and not potty trained. Every child is different. They will let you know when they are ready.

As the mom of two boys (4 & 3) and one girl (8 months) I wouldn't even consider potty training a boy until he's able to communicate with you clearly and is in a position of wanting to please you. There are also some clear signs physiologically to look for to know if he's really ready (listed in the book referenced below). I started my boys at 32 and 27 months respectively. It was late but it was completely and quickly successful. I read a book called "Potty Training in One Week" by Gina Ford (purchased online) and followed its suggestions on how to potty train. They were both so successful and no one in the family had any frustration in the process - honestly!! We went straight to underwear all day every day and within a month or so they were even totally dry and in underwear at night. Maybe your husband had a bad experience he doesn't want to share with you about it when he was s child. Potty training can be really traumatic and can bring out the worst in the whole family. I'd wait. I got great advice when several of my friends were boasting their children's success and I was feeling pressure - it was "wait, wait, wait!!! I promise, he won't go to college wearing diapers!!' I took that advice and was SOOOOOOO grateful! God bless your efforts!!

Your son is to young, his insides aren't ready yet. You should start at around 2 years old.

Just speaking from my own experience here, but one seems way too young to potty train. My oldest son was three, my second son was almost three, my oldest daughter was almost three, and my baby girl is 2 1/2 now and isn't really interested in potty training yet.

The ability for control doesn't come until around 2 1/2 to 3 years old. I think you probably would be better off waiting another year or so before you start trying. I got each of my kids their potty chair at two, but as I said, they were about three when they were trained (and Sofia still isn't there.)

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

hey J.! i have a three year old son who "trained" at two and that was considered early for boys. then he backtracked a little 6 months later when i had another baby and now a month before his 3rd birthday he is putting it all together again. the normal age for potty training is actually 3 years for boys-- girls seem to train sooner (some anyway) i totally understand you desire to train and get out of diapers--that's why i tried at two! i have read a ton on training and i would suggest Potty Training 1-2-3--it really worked! but i would advise you to wait another year b/c your son needs to be emotionally and physiologically ready for the training. hope this helps.

It sounds like your husband has some good insight into you and your situation. My fifth child is 11 months old. I can't even imagine potty training him now. I think it would be a nightmare for him and me. I prefer to enjoy him in the stage he is in now and not push him. Personally, I think it is very unfair to expect your husband to take on this new project of yours. Why put yourselves through that when it will come so much more easily in a few years? I'm sure your husband isn't against potty training, just against rushing the timeline so much. Relax, there are other ways to save money and help your son and other projects you can pursue.

I suggest you wait until your son is 2 years old.He will need another year to develop bowel muscle control ( bladder may take longer). My son saw me on the toilet so he knw that sitting there was a part of what we do. When he was 2 he was curious enough to WANT to use the potty. Don't rush it. The price of diapers is not worth frustration if your son is not ready. Besides, you have a wonderful husband; a potty argument is not worth it. If your son were 3 or 4 and your husband objected, you would have a point. J. Gordon

Suggest your husband take him and do toilet training. Then he can show how a man does it. This may sound harsh, but my late husband wanted our sons to learn on his terms, stand up and take a leak. It worked fine, but eventually, men do have to sit.

I think you are setting yourself up for trouble with an 11 mos old. Of course, among other parents talking: everyone have wonder-children who took tap dancing lessons at 8 mos and were potty trained day and night by a year. Among my close friends speaking honestly about their children, potty training is not a success until at least two years of age, and three plus at night. -But I do not see why you cannot say: "Listen daddy, I will get him a Winnie the Pooh potty to start him off on the right track, you go get him the Thomas train starter kit.

A boy and potty training at 11 months? It sounds like a hard lesson in parental and child frustration to me. My boy is now a fews short weeks away from 16 but I don't think he was even remotely interested in ther potty til about age 2! I think if you want to try, go ahead but if there is frustration on either of your part at any point, stop immediately and take a long break. Hope this helps, S.

Sorry J., but I have to side w/ your husband on this one. 12 months is really way too early to bother trying to potty train your child. If he starts showing interest aroudn 18 mos, I'd tell you to go for it, but you really won't be training him, you'd be training yourself to anticipate his needs. Good luck!

Are you serious? Is this your first child? Most children don't even come close until they are at least 2 or 2 and a half. Often boys won't prior to three years old. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and anxiety for your child. Your child will often dictate when they are ready and most experts would discourage you from doing this.

J.,
Most pediatricians don't recommend potty training until at least 2 yrs of age. Most little boys don't "get it" until around 3 yrs of age...but I'm just generally speaking. I think it would be more of a head ache for you right now b/c you would get frustrated with him not understanding. I would say wait another year before he gets his own potty.

I think it is to soon but check with your pediatrician or others mothers in the group

Sorry to say but your husband is the one in the right here.Not because of WHY he doesn't want you to potty train but because a 1 yr old is not old enough to potty train.Starting that early will only have u going though the tough times for 2 yrs before he's ready.We all know how eager we get to want our children out of diapers but my baby is 21 months old and he STILL whines when potty is even mentioned.But I atleast try to tell him what mommy is doing when she goes potty.I say stuff like 'Mommies pee-pee in the potty".He knows the words poopy and pee pee so I try to show him where it actually goes.Kids don't usually become potty trained until close to the age of 3.That might seem a long ways away but other hassles come with ur baby using the potty, such as accidents in public,bed wetting and you'll still have to take off and put back on clothes.I think your rushing it in an eager effort.It's too soon and buying a potty seat will only waste money right now.

oh my goodness. you're kidding. listen to your huband!!

I have to say hmmm... potty traing at one year?? I def think that goes way against the norm and developmental standards. It would be totally normal for boys to not even grasp potty training until the age of 3. With that said I don't want to dis your parenting efforts and I don't doubt you just want what is best for your child. I do think it would be important for your husband to be supportive so something needs to be worked out there. I don't know if you feel like he needs to be potty trained or if you just want to potty train him but if it is any help I have an 11 month old daughter (girls usually potty train earlier) and I will not even approach potty training until she is 18mos but probably not until 2. I mean if you really want to go for it! I just wouldn't be too disappointed if it didn't work out.

WOW.... I have 3 boys and I have never potty trained or even considered doing it before the age of 18m or 2 yrs. If your the one staying home and will be doing all the work then I don't thing it really matters if your husband is on board not unless your asking for support in the issue. I'm sure your lil' guy is smart but being smart and having all the motor skills developed enough for potty training are two totally seperate issues. I think your trying to make him grow up a little too fast, let him stay a baby for while longer and maybe your husband will be on board at a later date. MOM Of 3 boys!

J.,

Hate to tell you this, but I'm on your husband's side. Having raised two boys--one who is now 16 and the other is 13, a one-year old toddler is NOT ready for potty training--no matter how smart he or she is. You need to wait until he is at least 24 months old. And most boys do not begin potty training until they are at least 2 1/2 years old. Understand wanting to get rid of the diaper expense but you are asking your son to do something that he is not ready to do. Wait another year.

J., official sources and experienced moms agree that the potty training process is most successful when the child has acquired the ability to minimally control his bladder and that happens at a latter age (like 2)...if you start when he is not ready it can be a long, unpleasant and psychologically damaging experience for him (for example he will tend to hold his poop and become chronically constipated later in life). A friend of mine started when her child was 26 months old and his diaper at night remained dry: that and the fact that he could pull his pants up were a clear sign that the child was ready.It took her a week to train him (very few accidents later for about another week)!!!Having said this, perhaps your child is really super-advanced and ready at 1 year old, it's for you to judge. May you make the best decision for him (not for the wallet) and good luck!

Well, here's the thing if he's not ready it may not work so both of you can either support him when he's ready or it maybe a wasted effort and disappointment for both of you. Yes, it saves diapers or the money but it's hard to potty train at 1 I have not yet met a mother that has been successful at their son being potty trained at 1 the other thing is if he does do it for a day or maybe two then reverts back what are you going to do??? this happens even at 3 yrs old for little boys sometimes. I have 3 boys my suggestion is get a potty if you like to have on hand get some books up to date ones about potty training go from there. He may not be ready most folks start around 18-24 months also sit him down don't start him standing or poop time will be difficult if he sits to do both he'll understand it more most moms let them stand to pee and then have problems with them not wanting to sit and poop. Personal opinion I'd wait until he's a little more mature to understand a sit and pee and poop in potty I don't think he'll be ready. Good luck you can give it a try...best price on books to me are at books a million.

I would not put yourself through the headache just yet. He is too young. My son was 2 1/2 when he decided to wear underwear. I explained he would have to use the potty now, and to my amazement he did almost completely at that moment. His decision, no pressure. To me, that is the best way to go.

Be careful! Your little one is too young for potty training. He will let you know when he is ready. Around 2 is when many start, but my dad, a pediatrician of 50 years, says boys generally have success around 3. (including night!) Your one year old is still so young and lacks control over his bladder and bowels. You can always set a little potty out for him to play and and gain familiarity with it- but I would just enjoy your sweet boy; he will be older and potty trained before you know it! (I have three!) There is no need to rush through the milestones...the time starts to fly all by itself. Also, you don't want to set him up for failure. He is over a year a way from when the experts even say to try.
There is the infant potty training movement- but that is not real potty training. It is just you trying to watch his signals and rush him to the potty... ugh!

I agree with your husband. From what Ive read you should let your child show you when he is ready. 1 year is a it yourng I think. Sure buy a potty and introduce it, but I wouldnt expect much. the sooner you start the long it will take, because they will only potty in the potty when they are ready. My son is 17 months. He loves his potty. he likes to put the poo poo in the toliet from the potty. However he doesnt understand yyet that the poo must come from him not the diaper first. he'll tell us he has poo, but only after the fact. We are working on developing the language. We want him to enjoy learning nt feel pressured to do something unfamiliar.