Husband Blames Furniture Manufacturer Instead of Facing Truth, Help!

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The next time he whines about the furniture, just tell him honestly that the furniture is breaking because of his weight.

He may travel a lot, but that isn't an excuse. Most hotels have work out rooms. All he needs to do is 30 minutes a day of cardio, that can be jumping jacks, sit-ups, push-ups, walking a mile in the morning... Also, he can eat out at restaurants and choose healthier meal options.

Since he has blood pressure and heart problems, he should do the recommended excersize plan by his Dr.

It sounds like your husband is in denial, because he obviously knows he has a weight problem. All you can do is tell him he needs to step up and take care himself for not only his future, but for the family.

Hi S.,

I know how you feel. My husband panicked when he stepped on the scale and he was just shy of 400 pounds. He came home saying he was going to diet and I had to help him. As many times as he has tried to lose weight over the years, he has always ballooned back up after horrendous struggles. I told him he was not going on another "diet" to lose weight but we were going to get healthy. I put him on an absorbable multivitamin/mineral complex (guaranteed to absorb) and he started dropping weight. I am convinced good nutrition will balance anyone's weight whether they are too heavy or too skinny. He lost 60 pounds changing NOTHING. Now, my disclaimer is that he was never a couch potato and he was never lazy, and he really never ate badly. His body would just not let go of the fat. Once he got the nutrition in his body, the body rejected the extra fat. After the 60 pounds, he felt so good he started running again (he ran Track in college) and dropped another 50 pounds. This happened over the course of a year, 6 years ago. He is still losing slowly and has never put any back on. He's still on the vitamin.

There is hope! We were married 15 years before I figured this out. He still thanks me. He is still a big man (6'7" and 260 pounds)....but he looks good to me and he feels great! His doctor told him he was the healthiest fat guy he's ever known, lol.

If you're interested, let me know and I can get you some info. I've also seen the same vitamin work for his best friend (50 pounds), my sister in law (15 pounds) and a friend who needed to gain weight (10 pounds)...The body knows what it is doing if it gets what it needs.

Regards,

M.

ohhh, can i answer this one ? my first husband was deep in the land of denial about his high blood pressure, his high cholestrol, and his weight, then he died suddenly of a heart attack at 42.guess who found him, me.
K. h.

Denial is a very powerful emotion...he may just not be ready to admit his weight problem yet. My husband used to say, "you shrunk my pants, you shrunk this shirt, it used to be longer"...I told him, I have washed and dried them hundreds of times before this, they didn't magically shrink now :) Not until he was ready to make a permanent and serious lifestyle change did he drop the weight. It took diligence on his part to make sure he was eating healthy and within the parameters for his body type. When your husband is ready to commit to change, it may help for him to talk it over with his doc or a nutritionist. They would be able to give him an idea of what calorie intake he should have as well as diet and exercise ideas. Especially since he travels so much, he has to be the one to hold himself accountable. A food journal really helped my husband to visually see what he was putting in his body. I hope you are able to convince him to help himself.

Has he actually seen himself? Take some pictures of him with the kids. Then frame them and hang them. Make sure you send copies to his family with an Easter Card. Maybe when he sees himself in the photos, he will realize how big he has gotten.

I would quit harping on him. He is not home enough to make it so uncomfortable. When you do speak with him, do it with love and compassion. "I love you, but I am worried about your weight. when you are ready to start working on it and if you want my help let me know. I will now quit mentioning this. "

He is either in denial, too tired or depressed and just does not want to deal with this. It is up to him to do something about this.

Hi S.,
You don't mention how much sleep your husband gets on a regular basis ... I know getting enough sleep helps maintain a healthy weight. You can google the subject matter; there is quite a bit of information out there. Just another angle ... Good luck!

My Dad, died about 10 years ago.
He was only in his 60's.
He died, before I had my children.
He therefore, never got to even see his only Grandchildren.

His health, had fallen apart... just before I got married. He, had a stint in his neck... and he was in the Hospital before my wedding day. Per the Doctor, he was allowed to walk me down the aisle. Although he was not in good health. But at least he got to see me married.

My Dad, had high blood pressure, heart problems etc. And he also had Diabetes in middle age.
My Mom, for a time, did not know my Dad had Diabetes. Because, he did not tell her.

All of these things, combined, led to worsening health.
My Dad, was a BUSY Business man too. Self made.
Always very busy.

He died. Due to his health problems.
Before he passed away, he got more and more ill.
WE then, became care-givers to him, because due to his health, he also suffered a Stroke. Then he could NOT do the things he normally could or liked. He later could not even drive a car. Could not work. Could not do basic things. Needed help to walk. Had to have Dialysis.
He also had had major heart surgery.

Tell your Husband, life is short.
Health problems, if not managed, will get worse.
Like my Dad.
My Dad died, due to his health problems.
They way he died... was not pleasant.
I was there... when he died.
It was very very, sad.

I don't know how old your Husband is.
But... the only way he will manage his weight and health, is if HE wants to, do it.
You as his wife can cook healthy or remind him to exercise. BUT, you cannot make him, do it, nor manage his health.
The bottom line is, your Husband has to HIMSELF, want to, do it.

Being he travels so much and is busy... the problem is eating out. Or on the run. And lack of rest.
Lack of sleep, also affects the body and inclination to health problems, too.
Many things.

But I do know, that getting nagged, does NOT make the other person, get on the ball or watch their health or weight.
They have to want to do it, themselves. As well.

Maybe he can join a Community Support Group.
These are good as well.

HE has to want to do it, himself.
Until then, it will be hard for him to stick to anything.

With all his traveling, many hotels have Gyms too. He can do that when he is traveling. It can be done anywhere. Not only at home.
He has to get creative about just increasing 'activity' into his life. Not it being only per his Hapkido/KravMagda classes, at home. He is not home much. So... that is to me, not practical for him to do and keep up with.
He has to do things/activities/exercises, that are accessible ANYWHERE, even when he is traveling.
He can even exercise IN the hotel room.
Bringing Resistance Bands, doing Jumping Jacks, running in place while watching TV etc.
Many ideas... and which takes creative thinking.

I would wonder, if your Husband has Diabetes as well.
Just due to his weight.

I have to agree with many of the posts below, especially the "take a photo of him." I did that for my husband a year ago, took a snapshot and showed it to him. He's lost almost 50 lbs since November of 2009. He needed a reality check and that photo was it.

Good luck!

t.

Altho I definitely understand that carrying extra weight is a very bad thing... I don't understand how his blood pressure is so high that he needs medication. I truly think he'd still need that medicine even with the weight loss.

I weigh 242 and have for the last 6 years (I've not gained any weight yet during this pregnancy and I'm 5.5 months along), I'm 5'5" - I've always had low normal blood pressure and during the pregnancy I've had high low BP. I've never made furniture groan or creak, nor caused a dip in any of our furniture... but maybe another 20lbs will make that big of a difference?