How to Transition Her to Her Own Bedroom!!

Updated on November 29, 2010
A.S. asks from Houston, TX
8 answers

Good Morning beautiful ladies. I need some advise again! I want to know how to transition my 3 year old daughter into her own bedroom. Please no harsh advise, I know she's 3 already and still sleeps in our bedroom, but she has her own bed and sleeps very well in her bed. But her bed is in our room. This has been something I know was going to happen, but I am not ready. You see hubby and I want to have another baby next year, so we need her to sleep in her own room as we will be putting the crib inside our bedroom. And we want to do this way before the baby comes so that she does not feel like we are just kicking her out to put the baby in her place. So I know the sooner this happens the better, I am just so scared of doing this. I need some advise on how to do this. We will be getting a video baby monitor and leaving the doors open, having a night light, but I guess I just don't know how to transition her to her own room. This is probably going to be harder on me than on her, but I need advise from you experienced mommies out there. How do I go about having her sleep in her room, is it going to be hard? Please mommies I need some advise. As you can see I am a first time mom and need support. I know she has to move in to her own room as I cannot keep her in our bedroom for ever. Please advise and thank you in advance for your support!

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S.N.

answers from Houston on

I had to transition my 5 year old into her own room not too long ago. I thought it would be so hard but Iucked out.
I think routine is important and that is what I did with her. She takes her bath and than after her bath we read 2-3 books for some cuddle one on one time. After that I give her one toy or a coloring book for her to play with. She plays with that until she falls asleep.
There are a few days that she wants to sleep in my room and some days I let her. :-) Kids are only little once.
You will do fine and each child is different and you will find what works for you.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I will fully admit that a lot of nights I have a 3.5 year old and a 16 month old in my bed. When they're not in bed with me, I miss snuggling them :) They do have their own room, but they just like to sleep with us sometimes :)
The first advice I'll give is "fake it till you make it." If she sees your apprehension she's going to think it's something to be afraid of. So, put on your happy face.
Do you have a room set aside and decorated for her already? If not, then let her help you decorate the room. They have some great wall decals out there that are really cute and totally removable. It's a nice way to decorate without having to paint.
Give her (and you) a time limit. If you want her in her room in a week, tell her that. Say "In 5 more sleeps you're going to be in your own room! You're getting SO BIG!" Really amp it up! Make it a BIG deal. Go on and on about what a big girl she is. Let her pick out her night light.
If she still naps, let her nap in her own room before you move her to it at night. Spend some time playing in there with her during the day. It will help to familiarize her with the room.
You're right that it will probably be harder on you. That just means that you are a loving and caring mother, nothing wrong with that! :) Don't be surprised if she still wants to sleep in your room sometimes, especially if the new baby is in there. Like I said, I LOVE having my kids in my bed and so does my husband. It's such a great way to wake up! I do like that they have their own space though.
Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful
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N.C.

answers from Houston on

We were a co-sleeping family up to 2 weeks ago. We had a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old in our Queen sized bed! I miss them more than they miss us. I transitioned them both to their shared room into twin beds. I did pretty much what Shaun did. Though surprisingly the 4 year old has not once gotten up in the middle of the night wanting to get back into bed with us. She's set in her room now. The little one still wakes once at night. Only twice has he asked to go to "daddy's bed". I let him go with me but he has always wanted to go back to his bed before morning. I'm sure my daughter was ready for this new transition and her little brother doesn't want to be left behind so it has worked out great so far. If your daughter doesn't adjust to it as nicely as mine did I would just go and comfort her in her room if she wakes at night scared or lonely. If she is a good sleeper in your room right now, I don't think she will change much just by being in her room. After all she is still sleeping in her own bed. Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Houston on

Looks like you have received some good advice already. Don't belittle yourself that you wanted that closeness with your child. We only get to cuddle them for a short amount of time. Before you know it they'll be teenagers and won't want anything to do with you.

Before children I was the first to say, my child will sleep in their own bed and not with us. Little did I know how "in love" with my child I would become and treasure him cuddling in between my husband and I.

My son always slept in his own crib/bed until he was about 2. Then I went back to college and took classes at night. My husband would put him in bed with him. When I got home, I would be so tired and feeling guilty for not spending time with him that I would just crawl into bed with them and not move our son to his bed. It evolved from there.

Today he is 8 years old and still sleeps with us on occasion. Hubby is just as guilty as I at allowing this to happen. Every once in a while he goes to bed with us, typically happens on nights after a bad dream. Most often it occurs with him coming in our room in the middle of the night. In talking with our friends, it is very common with them and their children as well.

My view on it is he won't be 15 and still wanting to sleep with us. We'll be lucky to get a hug from him then.

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A.A.

answers from Waco on

Ditto to everything Shaun said!!! We co-slept with our daughter and did almost exactly what Shaun suggested and everything worked out just fine! Best of luck to you!

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

Have a conversation with her and tell her that it is time for her to be a big girl and sleep in her own room. Ask her wen she would like to start doing that. You may want to give her a couple of options- like after Christmas or her birthday (Don't know when that is).

Then, when the day comes, make a BIG DEAL of her and Daddy moving her bed into her room. Maybe a new set of sheets that she picked out can be the first ones on it.

Good Luck!

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L.G.

answers from Austin on

Is it going to be hard? Yes, that is what parenting is all about. Have you heard of the book, "Parenting Isn't for Cowards"? Is it going to be worth it? Yes, as you will get to see her grow up and mature to another stage of development. Remember, it is all about her needs, not yours. She needs to reach another milestone of independence and not completely relying on you to sleep.

The other benefit is your husband and your relationship. Having just the two of you in the bed allows for more intimacy and your husband needs to know that you still see him as the stud that you desire and crave. If you have lost that craving, then "fake it 'til you make it" works here too. Most husbands will take a back seat to their wives' desire to be mommy 100% of the time, but they need to have their wives all to themselves on a regular basis.

Rewarding your daughter each morning that she has slept in her own room can also give her something to look forward to. Having a sticker chart that allows her to keep getting bigger and bigger rewards is good. The wall decals that Shaun mentioned are perfect as a start since she will want to decorate. You could do one sticker each day. During the day while you are playing in her room, talk about what the next day's reward will be. Then there are light plates, name signs for the door, etc. Make it a big deal and plan on shopping often, even if it is just for a poster to hang on the wall. She will enjoy the special time of shopping with you. Give your daughter the opportunity to shop with Dad alone as well. Once she gets a week's worth of stickers, plan a day at the library or park or wherever. Then plan another one after another so many days of stickers. It's going to take a lot of rewards so it will be worth it to her. Don't make it about you or your husband. Always talk about how big she is getting. Tell her about kids she knows that have their own room.

Give her lots of control in the move. Do you want to move on Saturday or Sunday? Which part of the bed should we carry first? Should we put the bed against this wall or that one? Do you want to move the dresser? What reward do you want tomorrow, this or this? Everything should be her idea, but give her specific options. And don't worry if she wants the furniture in a weird spot. You can always change it later. The main goal right now is to get her in her room.

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K.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My friend transitioned by going to go sleep with her son on the toddler bed in his room. Do not do this. It just drags it out for the parents and the child.
They did it by having the dad take over and put him to bed. M. had to turn on the bath so she could not hear the screaming.
He sleeps fine now in his own bed and actually sleeps better. At first, they sometimes had to carry him back to bed and stay a few minutes with him.
They also left the closet light on all night and made sure he had a cup of water by his bed. Good luck. And you are very wise and perceptive to do this before the baby comes.

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