How to Teach Daughter to Accept Other Rude Children?

I do not believe in teaching my children to accept rude behavior. I do however believe in using other children's unacceptable behavior to teach them what is appropriate and what is not. I think that if you want to take her to family functions then you will have to face the fact that her cousins can't be trusted to play with her unsupervised. I have discovered, especially with older children, that children behave quite differently when supervised. If you are there supervising and they act ugly, I would let them know that it is not okay to treat your daughter like that. I am that kind of person. I believe that it is my job as a parent to step up and protect my children - even from their cousins if necessary. If talking to the parents hasn't helped, then I feel all you can do is step in and supervise or don't go. I don't believe in advocating hitting back etc. I would just remove myself and my child from the situation. If people ask why you don't come to family gatherings, I would let them know.

Get her involved in something that is "her thing" where she has ownership of it.

Example, when my daughter was in the spring semester of 2nd grade, she started martial arts. She is 13 1/2 now and headed to 8th grade, very self confident and earned her black belt in June 2006. She does not advertise the fact that she has a black belt but when she is challenged...by other kids, etc...she has the mental ability to deal with it and if needed she can kick some......

I know that 3-5 is a little young for martial arts but some places have programs for the younger children that helps boost confidence.

I agree with your concern about sending the wrong message to your daughter. Self confidence and being strong willed is not something you want to squelch. It needs to be embraced and directed in positive ways.

I agree - get her into martial arts, karate, dance - something she can do by herself when they're being turds.

That said, I don't let anyone put their hands on my little ones. I don't think that's something anyone should "have to get used to". I was never allowed to put my hands on my younger cousins, either.

S.

Not everyone plays nice. As she gets older she will run into this almost on a daily basis. You are just going to have to teach her that she has to treat others like she wants to be treated and the ones that are mean, Walk away from and find something that She wants to do. A game or whatever. The fact that they are family doesnt mean they are going to go away and not going to family events doesnt teach her how to deal with them.
Its something that you have to talk with her almost daily about. Its like we tell our children we dont talk to strangers, hold my hand when we are in a parking lot, play nice with the kids in our play group. You tell them that everytime. Its the same with the rude kids.
I know they are rude play try to play with them be nice to them and if they are mean find something else to play with, without the rude kids.
GOOD LUCK...

Just tell your daughter that when someone is rude to her that it's not because anything is wrong with her...it's because that person feels bad about themselves on the inside. Instead of making themselves feel better, they want other people to hurt just like them.

Tell her that she should feel good about herself on the inside & others shouldn't dictate how she feels about herself.

Tell her when others are rude to her to say, "I'm sorry that you're sad on the inside, but I'm happy."