How to Stop Feeling Guilty!

Awe...this is very sweet. :o)

As long as you remember that you are raising a child to be an adult, not a child to STAY a dependent child, you'll both be fine.

Talk to her. She's old enough to know how much you care for her well being and how it concerns you that she might be a little too attached when she needs to be getting out on her own a bit more.

Let her know that you'll always be there for her and never abandon her, and that you love her and miss her when she's not around too! I'm sure you can both work together to make these normal transistions easier on you both!

I'm VERY close to my mom too...but she was just a little clingy sometimes. It made me act out a bit after I left home. But now we are closer than ever. Don't worry that life will take her away from you...she loves you and you obviously love her. Keep the communication up and tell her how you feel! She's not a baby anymore.

Hi. So sorry for what you must be going through. You sound like a great momma.
I can't speak as a momma as my child is 3, but rather from my experience as a daughter. I think all of us as children like our moms around. It is only a tribute to you that she loves you so much. I think you have to be strong and tell her you love her and love spending time with her, but it is good for her and she should feel free to enjoy time with friends as well. She can have the best of both worlds. You are there for her...
Does that make sense. That is what I would tell my daughter at that age. I also wish my mom had said that to me:)

Good Luck. Jilly

it's a lot to tackle middle school, but at that age they really are able to conquer lockers, keep track of their assignments and homework, and deal with different teachers and classrooms. It's actually preparing her for even more responsibility as she enters high school in a few years and emerges as a young woman ready to face the world 4 years after that.

Encourage her in her efforts to stay organized, ask if there's anything she needs to do it better, but let her figure out how to do it. Don't feel guilty for not being there for her all the time, truthfully she's at that age where she's slowly needing her friends more and more, but if you maintain that strong relationship you have after school, on weekends and vacations, she'll always come to you when the going gets super rough.

And, truthfully, when i worked at my daughter's junior high we NEVER saw each other, ever. it's not the same as being at the elementary school, it's far different, so even though she wants you there, in reality she would more than likely not even see you. My daughter and i would hook up after school, run errands or get a treat and go home. We used the time to catch up on her day and start to unwind for the rest of the day/evening.

Your daughter's attachment to you is more than likely a "reaching out/help me" reaction to everything new going on at school. Be there for her, encourage her, and be proud as it all comes together, she growing up!

Would having more control or organization (you mentioned those struggles) give her better footing for confidence and "stability" in school? In this new environment?

I know for my introverted, doesn't make friends easily daughter (now 17...not a joiner...Art-fringe kid), middle school was very hard for her. It was BIG, like you said, lockers, alot of moving around, etc. She got a bit needy then as well.

I helped her find a "system" that worked for her (shes always been a mess in the organization dept..she has an Art-focused, creative scattered mind..LOL). It took her a while to get into the swing of all of that. We had a suggestion from a friend of mine to get an accordian file folder (those sort of plasticy ones..maybe $10 at local stores..several pockets with a elastic loop closure...Trapper keeprs or the like of 3 ring binders were not allowed as they did NOT fit in the lockers). She did a slot for each class, with one subject notebooks...color coordinated everything as per my suggestions (just like I did in Jr and Sr high..math was blue, english was green, etc). We copied her schedule and locker info and taped them (with package tape I think) to the inside of that thing or the planners they were given by the school...so she knew where it was at all times and could easily refer to it until she was comfortable with all of it.

Once she had this in place, she was so much happier as she knew where her papers were, where her combo was, class schedule..they even had a school map we put in there. For my disorganized kid, it made all the difference in the world. Just being in the building scared the crud out of her. Within a week or 2 she was coming home with funny stories about passing time and assignments and how she showed so and so her "system" and they thought it was cool (apparently other new middle schoolers were stressing just like she had been). One friend asked me to help her do a "system" cuz her Mom didn't "get it"??

Just try to figure out what she needs to get her thru the transistion. This is what worked for mine! Also naps on the couch after school! She was tuckered out for a while!

Good luck!

I typed this all out then lost it. Anyway, I am having the same kind of day so you are not alone.....or crazy. I am lucky enough to not work outside the home so I think I should go to EVERYTHING. Every practice, game school event. So yesterday I got to go to my daughters first pep rally but not her game ( she is a cheerleader) and yesterday I had an appointment and couldnt be there for her pictures. This weekend I have a class and will not only be gone 10 hours a day but also miss my sons football game. I know in my head that I spend alot of time with them but I always feel like its not enough and later I will wish I had done more. In all honesty, I probably will! Maybe theres no such thing as enough time with your kids ya know? And yes eventually, she will need you less and less but thats a good thing that means you did your job. Just cherish the moments you do have with her and realize how lucky you are that she cherishes your relationship just as much. :)

I remember going from a Catholic grade school 1-8 to a public Jr High. The 9th grade class had more students than the entire school I had just come from. My grade school was very strict, we were not allowed to talk in the hallways or bathrooms. So to go from a strict school to the chaos of a public school scared me to death. Then with the confusion of lockers and going from room to room, lets just say it took a couple of weeks before I settled down and wasn't always scared. So give some time to adjust and I am sure she will be fine.

To help her stay organized I suggest that you get colored pocket folders and spiral notebooks for each class, for example green for science , yellow for math, blue for geography. She can put andy handouts in the pocket folder and take notes in that colored notebook for each class, to make it simple I used a different colored pen each day taht way if I needed to look up a note for Wendesday i could tell where one day's notes ended and new day started.