How to Stop a Thumb Sucker

Updated on January 20, 2008
J.M. asks from Battle Ground, WA
21 answers

My 4 year old son loves to suck his thumb. I didn't worry about it too much when he started at just a month old but as he is getting older, I worry it will make his teeth grow in funny or that other children will make fun of him when he starts school. Iv'e asked the dentist and pediatrician and neithor seem too concerned at this point. He used to only suck his thumb when he was sleepy or upset but now it's more often, even when playing. Iv'e asked him if he's feeling sad when he is sucking his thumb and he says "no, I just like to". We playfully tease him, like asking what flavor his thumb is but he just laughs and keeps on sucking. Iv'e put nail polish on his thumb when he was asleep but he just washes his thumb until it comes off. Iv'e met several adults who say they sucked their thumbs secretly until they were teenagers and needed braces to correct teeth problems due to sucking their thumbs. Anyone out there have experience with this or any tricks to detour him?

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So What Happened?

It was great to get so many responses, espically from those who sucked their thumbs themselves. I realized that like a lot of you said, when he's ready to stop, he will. I think If I "make" him stop then he will resort to some other negative behavior or maybe will feel he never satisfied his oral fixiation as a child and will have problems later on in life (smoking, biting nails, etc.) So until he's ready, Iv'e tried some positive reinforcement: we made a deal that he was realy excited about, if he'll only suck his thumb when he's sleepy or watching T.V. then at the end of the week, he get's to pick a prize (dollar store toys I bought & keep hiden). So far so good... Thanks for all your advise!!! What a great support network!

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A.C.

answers from Portland on

My husband sucked his thumb til 4 or 5 years old. His doctor drew a smiley face on his thumb, "You don't want to suck Mr. Thumb off!" and he never sucked his thumb after that! ;D

1 mom found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Anchorage on

Hi J. -

We didn't have this problem, but you made me think of a neat-looking device I saw in a catalog. It's either the "Leaps and Bounds" catalog, or "One Step Ahead" - either way, they're the same company and they both have websites.

They sell something called a "thumb guard" - it basically looks like this clear hard plastic sheath that goes over the thumb, but the thing hooks around the wrist so I think it's hard for a kid to remove it themselves. Might be worth looking at - I hear they're supposed to work pretty well!

1 mom found this helpful

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E.H.

answers from Anchorage on

Jamie~
Having sucked my thumb for almost 16 yrs and not truly having a grasp on why I'm not sure how much I can help, but maybe hearing my experiences and feelings on what went on with me might help you decide what to do and or watch for with your own son. I do know that it was a security thing for me - I was a very insecure kid. I also know that is the case with most thumb suckers. IF you could somehow pinpoint what it is that bothers him that would be a start. I was just like him though, I said "I just like it", there was no reason. But looking back I know better. I am the middle of 5, and the first 4 are all 18 mo apart, so I often felt like just a number. No one ever got their own quality time, and I think I needed that more then my bothers. Then the youngest (and only other girl)came when was 8 and she has Down Syndrome, so that took even more time away. (I also wet the bed till my sister came along) I had insecurity issues in my own home and no one seemed to notice. My parents tried all sorts of things on my thumb to keep it out of my mouth, even bribery. They harped on me all the time, and I think that only made it worse. It made me more insecure and in turn I hid it more and it because more important for me to do. I was a very bright and outgoing kid, made friends easliy, but you know what they say about popular people being the most insecure...you never can tell can ya! My best suggestion (and what I think would have worked for me) is that instead of trying to stop the habit by telling/forcing him not to do it or makeing him feel like it's a shamful thing or whatever, try possitive reinforcment to build him up. It may take a while to see any results, and even if it doesn't work, there is no harm in boosting you're child confidence!

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

My suggestion is that you not draw any attention to the thumb sucking at all. He's probably sucking his thumb to soothe himself, so it's counterproductive to draw any attention but especially negative attention to the behavior. (It'll just encourage him to do it more often!) If possible, it would be helpful to give him a new soothing technique to replace the thumb sucking. (If you notice him sucking his thumb, offer him a coloring book and crayon or something else he likes to do. But don't say anything about the thumb.)

I can almost guarantee that he'll stop sucking his thumb when he starts school. (My son was a nose-picker until that stage, too.) They are VERY conscious about being "big boys" in front of their buddies!

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S.B.

answers from Eugene on

My son had this problem and it did begin to affect his teeth, I tried every trick in the book. The doctor said, he did it in the womb and it was a comfort for him. He suggested a dentist for kids who made an insert that had a blunt ridge on the underneath side and when he sucked his fingers not his thumb, it put pressure on the the roof of this mouth. It became sore and it was no longer comfortable for him to suck his fingers. It didn't take long and the habit was even broken while during his sleep time.
I'm glad I did it because his teeth were going to be pointy forward. Now they are beautiful.

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M.N.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter sucked her thumb until she was 4. She did it all the time since birth, it was just part of who she was it seemed. We became concerned because she developed a large open sore on her thumb from it rubbing constantly on her teeth. We had to put a band aid on it to cover the wound and that seemed to do the trick. A couple of times she put her thumb in her mouth with the band aid on and immediately took it out when she realized what she was doing. So that broke her during the day. Even after the wound healed she would ask for a band aid at night so that she didn't suck her thumb during sleep and that was that. I'm not sure if band aids will work for you, but it did for us. Good luck!

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L.R.

answers from Spokane on

I was a thumb sucker. My parents didn't try to stop me until I was 5 and it was too late. They would put stuff on my thumb and I would just go wash it off. I'm surprised your MD's weren't wanting you to stop it earlier. I usually just did it when I was tired, hungry, or bored. But it was something I didn't think about it had just become a natural response. I was pretty old by the time I stopped. I made sure none of my kids sucked their thumbs. Two of them suck their two middle fingers though (they are the two who wouldn't take pacifiers). Sometimes you can't win. Did you happen to ask you MD's if they had any suggestions for getting him to stop? I know my parents used some stuff on my thumb that they just got at a drugstore. Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My boyfriend sucked his thumb until he was 10, his teeth are perfect and he never had braces. However, he does still have an extreme oral fixation. I'm not sure how this can be alleviated, but to this day he still bites his nails and he took up smoking and drinking a lot of water. I think some people really need the hand-to-mouth thing, you'll just need to work to find a good substitute that's not dangerous to his well-being. Good luck

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

I sucked my thumb until I was about 12 and I never needed braces and it looks like I had them. I think you are ok until his adult teeth come in, but I would try to get him to use a pacifier - they flex so they are not so hard on the alignment of teeth, if he's needing a security item my thought would be to find him a substitute rather than trying to make him give up the comforting activity. But, I'm a little on the 'hippie' side of the parenting thing....good luck

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D.D.

answers from Portland on

My youngest son was a thumb-sucker until a couple months ago and he's gonna be 9 this month. I had talked to his doctor and dentist too and they also did NOT seemed to concerned.
My son really only sucked when he was bored or doing mindless activity, like watching tv. Also when he was tired. We tried the "when you turn 4 you'll be big boy so no more sucking your thumb" thing... so obviously that didn't work!
He had a speech disorder and is on his 6th year of speech therapy and the only thing with that was he had to do some extra exercises to counteract the muscles that he used when he sucked his thumb. The other downside was that he got a staph infection once from a sore he had on his thumb and we went swimming at the river. I then got the infection and I now have scar tissue in my throat!
His father sucked his thumb too until about the same age and he had some very similar issues as our son, so maybe it's an inherited thing.
My son rarely sucked his thumb at school and has never been teased to my knowledge, but that might be the environment at his particular school, which is very close-knit.
I should add that since my daughter has been born (she's 5.5 months) I have done EVERYTHING in my power to keep her from sucking her thumb and she REALLY wanted to. It's been a challenge, but I think I might have won! It was just not a ordeal that I wanted to face again. I was never so happy as when I discovered that my son's thumb nail was finally normal.

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S.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hello J.,
Unfortunately, I don't have any advice for getting your son to stop sucking his thumb. I just wanted to let you know that my 2 year old daughter is always sucking her thumb too! I haven't really tried to get her to stop yet. But, I wish you luck & if you find a solution, I would love to know!

(My niece who is now 10 years old also sucked her thumb when she was younger until she started going to school... I'm happy to say that she doesn't suck her thumb anymore!)

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K.F.

answers from Seattle on

I personally sucked my thumb till I was like 6. My mom was told that if you can stop from doing something for 13 days then the habit is broken. so my mom taped my thumb with surgical tape for 13 days and I never sucked it again. Worth a try I guess. Also I was playfully teased about it like you are doing to your son, altough it may seem harmless I was and still am kind of traumatized by that so just be careful. Oh and I have never needed braces. GOOD LUCK!

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N.D.

answers from Portland on

my parents tried really hard to get me to stop sucking my thumb but nothing worked because i am really stubborn. they tried covering my hand a night with a sock and safety-pinning it to my shirt, they tried hot sauce and the anti-nail-biting paint, and i'm sure they tried bribing me or giving me rewards. nothing worked because i was not ready to stop.

i did end up with a big over-bite and had to have braces however nobody ever made fun of me because of it. i'm pretty sure i didn't suck in front of kids.

like another poster, i did quit when i got braces because it just wasn't the same and i think i did not really need it anymore but couldn't break the habit.

IMO, there's nothing you can do to break your son of the habit if he's not ready, other than orthodontics since he can't take those out. if he truly has an oral fixation like another poster mentioned, he'll probably start doing something else.

my first daughter, who had a binkie, switched over to biting her finger and toenails after i took the binkie away at 2 years old. can't get her to stop that either. (btw, she did mess up her palate with the binkie so while they're better than a thumb, they still cause problems in some.)

my second daughter sucks her thumb and her teeth are already protruding. she tripped and hit her face on the ground and i think it loosened her teeth so when she kept sucking her thumb, it hastened the growth of her over-bite.

i too worry about her getting a 'monkey-face' like i did. there's nothing i can do but hope she stops before i did and try not to be such a perfectionist.

if your son is ready to stop, he may be up for a bribe. one lady told me her son would not potty train until she took him to a summer camp where he had an accident. they told her she could not bring him back until he was potty-trained. she told her son that and he potty-trained over the weekend so he could go back.

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

I know that eventually thumb sucking can move your teeth, I'm not sure how long that takes. I also know that dentist use "rakes" to get kids to stop. It's a bunch of pointy metal spikes that somehow attach to the roof of the mouth. Or at least that's what they used to do, my friend had one. Sorry, that's all I've got for you.

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N.P.

answers from Seattle on

I used to suck my thumb when I was little right until the age of four. My parents teased me too about how my teeth would look like rabbit teeth, they sometimes took my favorite toys away, or yelled. Whatever they did it worked. I am not saying their method was right at all though. My suggestion is find a pro-active way. When I want my two kids to pick up their rooms make their beds pick up toys or simply put their dishes in the sink , I have a chart in my kitchen naming things that their age groups are able to do and everytime they do one of those things they get a cool sticker. They absolutly love it! On fridays they now get ice cream from the ice cream man (summer now). They learn that they have to work for something that they want, and they learn that there are some chores that need to be done daily! N.

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M.P.

answers from Spokane on

J.~

I sucked my thumb until I was 13 or 14. My teeth were pretty bad anyways and I ended up with braces. It was at that point that I sucked my thumb, it just wasn't the same. It was definitely a comfort thing for me, as I believe it is for most kids. I too was teased and as I got older told I shouldn't anymore. The more I was teased and told not to do it, the more insecure I felt and the more I actually felt the NEED to do it. I think you just have to let them give it up on their own in their own time. I'm sure it can be frustrating, but keep in mind, he is comforting himself, it is not such a terrible thing.

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C.M.

answers from Eugene on

I was a thumb sucker until about age 10. I have never needed braces. I stopped because of the teasing from children at school. I wanted to be a big kid and big kids do not suck their thumbs. I just had to grow out of it on my own. My parents tried many different techniques to get me to stop and none of them worked. If your doctor and dentist are not concerned then I would try not to be either. I hope this helps and good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

I sucked my thumb till I was 7... my little brother until he was 9 I think...
There is nothing you can do to stop it.. my parents tried it all.. they put that nasty stuff on my fingers.. they bribed my brother with a trip out to dinner.. but they always caught him doing it in his sleep..
I think you could put your foot down and tell him he is a big boy and tell him he cannot do it during the day and only at night or nap time..
We have a little girl in our care, her mom does not want her to suck her thumb.. so during the day we tell her to take it out of her mouth.. but during nap time we really cannot stop her..
Every other kid has their comfort item and that's hers..

My brother's and I's teeth are perfectly straight and we never needed braces.. lucky us I guess.. My mom claims that if my brother hadn't sucked his thumb he wouldn't have had enough room in his mouth for his teeth.. as a little kid he had buck teeth.. but now they're fine and no braces or anything to correct it.

If he gets teased at school he might stop.. but I really honestly don't think you can stop him..

This is the big argument why people stick binki's in their kids' mouths so they can take them away..

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L.L.

answers from Seattle on

I sucked my thumb for a very long time. I don't think at 4 years old it is something to be too increadibly concerned about, but your concerns for other children makign fun are genuine. That does happen...and makes it harder to stop. You may be able to get him to stop by offering some type of reward for going certain amounts of time without sucking it...something really special for a week or 2 weeks, etc. I can tell you that the harder you try to force it, the more he will resist. If you don't push the issue, it will likely go away on it's own, but you might let it alone for a while and try the reward thing in a month or so. It sounds like he is already trying to resist your attmepts to make him stop. My parents painted my thumb with this aweful tasting stuff...i washed it off. They plain old told me to stop...i didnt listen...I was old enough that by the time they offered a reward, the kids at school were making so much fun that I simply couldn't do it...the more fun they made, the more I needed the thumb. Good luck. I really think not pushing the issue will help.

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

We are in exactly the same situation and have not had any luck. With our dau's consent we have tried nail polish, bandaids, gloves but nothing has really worked. I really want her to have healthy teeth but am not willing to do aversive things to get it. We tried a lot of positive reinforcement for times when she was not doing it, but the success was only temporary. It has gotten to the point that it is no fun for us/her to remind her and I have just decided that there is a level of comofort there that nothing (that I have found) can replace it and that she will have to stop on her own when she is ready. We will just have to suck up the cost of the braces at some point in the future, but it wasn't worth us constantly nagging about it where no one was happy and nothing significantly changed. Let me know if you hear of any other ideas and good luck.

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K.A.

answers from Spokane on

My daughter has a friend who still sucks her thumb out of habit. She does it because she is upset or is dealing with things that she doesn't want to talk about. I don't know if this is the case with your son but I think that when he is ready he will stop on his own. I hope this helps.

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