How to Stop 4 Yr Old Son from Picking His Fingers Till They Bleed....?

I don't know how to stop that either. My boys (8 and 5) have been biting their fingers until they are raw and sometimes bleed. I know that I have heard of putting a bad tasting substance (like clear nail polish) on their fingers. I have also heard about having the children wear gloves (this seems a little inconvenient all the time). As far as picking his fingers, maybe the glove thing will work.

Hello, i have an almost seven year old son who does the same thing, and has done for 3 years. I have taken him to doctors about it, there are medications, but they have side affects that aren't worth it. My sons thumbs, the tops and sides, have about a half inch thick calous on top from the constant picking. First you have to try and figure out why he's picking. My son does it when he's nervous, or concentrating hard on something. We have tried to redirect him with other things like: attaching a piece of velcro to his pants, and every time he gets the urge to pick, he scratches the velcro instead. Or when i see him start, i tell him to twidle his thumbs. Find something fun to do in place of the picking. The doctors told me it will probably subside when he gets older and finds other things to help him with his anxiety. Sometimes it's just curiosity as well. My son is very pain tolerant, hence picking them till they bleed! Bandaids never worked for us. Try different things, but hopefully, as i am also hoping, he'll grow out of it. Good luck!

My 5 year old daughter had the same problem, toes too. It really helped to push back her cuticles and keep her nails in good health, even filing any rough edges. Maybe this will help. When my son began biting his nails a few years ago, we paid him 1 penny for every nail he did not bite, it worked.

Hi! I had the same problem with two of my four children. A
friend of mine let me use a tube of Melagel and you put it on
the hangnail area just before bedtime then put the bandaid on
it. It numbs the area and helps it to heal really quick. It
worked really great...even my husband uses it (HE bites his
cuticles until they bleed, too). If you want to try some,
give Sarah an e-mail at ____@____.com luck! :>) J.

My 3 year old was doing that last summer, just pulling at the hangnails. I didn't even realize it because they didn't bleed and then suddenly he had two infected fingers! It was soooo painful for him that he hasn't done it since, but it took a few weeks of telling him to take his hands out of his mouth or he's going to get owies again.

Just so you know, the doctor did put him on antibiotics, but what we learned was the the best way to get rid of an infection in the finger is to soak it several times a day in warm salt water.

Dear C.,
I would suggest rubbing your son's fingers and cuticles with olive oil for a few minutes twice daily. That will help his little fingers immensely, as well as give him special time with Mommy. Olive oil is natural and unharmful to his skin.
I am a hairdresser and have really dry cuticles. I know where he is coming from!!
Good Luck
L. Bradley

Wow, I do that too!
It's best to find out why he's doing it and then work from there. Is he nervous, anxious, or concerned about something? I have been a "picker" since I was a wee thing - and I tend to do it more frequently when I'm stressed, worried, nervous, or anxious about it. Most of the time I don't know I'm doing it until someone says something to me. It puts me in a "zone" where I'm really focused on picking my nails and nothing else around me. Maybe your kiddo is in a zone too, and you can ask him when he's doing it, "hey kiddo, why are you picking? what are you thinking about?"
and see what he says. If he says "I dunno" like a lot of kids might, ask him if he's concerned, worried, upset about something (you pick what word he would respond to best)...

And not to freak you out, but if he picks at his nails it might be possible that he picks at other parts of his body like scabs, hanging skin, maybe ingrown hairs and eventually pimples. It's part of that compulsive picking thing - there's actually a term for it - go on wikipedia and look up "dermotillomania." That's what I have. Really the only thing that helps reduce me from picking is the awareness that I'm doing it, and someone to talk to about things that are going on in my life.

Please feel free to message me if you have any questions... Maybe I'm totally wrong, but if he continues to be a "picker" don't be too alarmed.

C.,
It is usually a nervous habit or figity thing to do when bored for most children or even adults to do with picking fingers or nail biting. My daughter does it and also picks them until she bleeds and she is 5 yrs. old. I also was a nervous finger picker as a child and as a result damaged the normal growth of my nail bed and I'm now 34 yrs. old. I warn my daughter if she wants to have pretty strong nails to stop and find something else to divert her figity habit. I also found it helps to keep her finger nails trimmed plus the loose cuticle trimmed so she is less tempted to pull the skin & cause bleeding. You may want to try putting socks on his hands or bandaid on fingers, find something that you can apply for unpleasant taste to fingers. Find out what could motivate him to stop, have a plan to reward him with something when he shows effort to control his habit and build on that and most of all be consistant and always remember to be positive & praise him often when you see good habits.
Good Luck!!!
O. O.

HI C.,
I work a lot with kids -- I am a psychotherapist, and love just entering the world of play with kids to help them connect with the inner wisdom inside each of them. Picking is an interesting process. We can't say for sure what that is because it is really unique for each of us. But you might try fooling around with him with puppets, dolls, stuffed animals. Particularly get into that picking, digging energy. He needs it in someway that would be more beneficial than the way it is happening now.

good luck,
D. Menken
Portland, OR

Something you might try:
Every time you/he wash/es his hands, check his fingers. If there's a tear or signs of starting the picking, put on a bit of the "stop nail-biting," gross-tasting drops (available at the druggist). Only put it on the ones he is picking ("Here's some medicine for your owie." ? with a kiss)

It sounds like he's picking just his hangnails. If his hands were well moisturized the hangnails wouldn't be an issue. Hangnails are annoying I understand it, if I'm away from home and can't get to clippers I pick at them too.

I'm germaphobic and wash my hands so frequently that I'm prone to dry, cracking, peeling hands and hangnails. I found by using a great lotion (I like Renew Intensive Skin Therapy) just once or twice a day I don't have to worry about hangnails anymore.

PM me if I can be of any help.
C.-WAHM to 4 y/o virtual twins

Hi! My kids don't pick their fingers so I don't know how to stop that. But they do suck their thumbs and sometimes they get really raw and awful. At night, when they are alseep, I put Lansinoh (cream for breastfeeding - but it works wonders on any cracked skin) on their thumbs and that protects them and gives them a chance to heal. My youngest daughter picks her lip where there is a blister from thumb sucking and when I get the blister to heal (either with Lansinoh or vaseline) she stops picking. Hope you find an answer!

My 3 yr old daughter has started this too. During the day, I've explained to her that I can "clip the pokies" and so she asks. All of the advice for moisturizing cuticles sounds great, but the main problem is her biting her nails to go to sleep for nap and bedtime. I can't monitor this. The only problem I've come across is incredibly short nails and I know it's just a soothing habit. I won't polish her nails until they grow, but this doesn't seem to bother her. Any advice on this?

My daughter used to pick her toes until they bled as well. It happened to be time for my doctor's appointment and I took her with me. After my appointment I told the doctor, with a wink and a nod, that she was making her toes bleed. He looked them over and told her sternly that she should not do that anymore. It worked for awhile. Anytime after I saw her picking, I would say, "Do we need to go see the doctor again about your toes." She would quickly stop. Eventually she grew out of it. In the meantime, I just kept reminding her about going to the doctor if she picked. This may not work for you, but it worked for us. Good luck.

Hi, C.,

I'm a naturopathic doctor that often responds to health-related questions posted here. Classical homeopathy is a wonderful, gentle, and transformative way to address "behavioral issues" without having to go down a medical route. This is true for many behavioral issues, and is great helping kids gently transition through "stages" they all go through.

I use it in my practice, as do many other naturopathic doctors in town. Classical homeopathy is most successfully used by trained specialists, but you can take the initiative and find effective remedies for your child as well. I'd check out remedies that focus on obsessive behaviors and find the one that sounds like it most fits your child. Homeopathy is also handy to know for acute health problems like ear infections and mild fevers.

Best,
Dr. E. Mendenhall, ND

My daughter is 3 and bites and picks at her hangnails too. She does this when her lips are dry too. She does it when she's bored and also during stressful times. I have some cuticle nippers and try to cut them off before she gets to them. I've made applying lotion a treat, that she enjoys. This helps the dry cuticles. Pushing the cuticles back after a bath is good to. This keeps them from cracking, splitting, and becoming hangnails.

I might suggest that if your son is so inclined to "self-grooming," teach him how to cut and file his nails and push back his cuticles. I would also recommend some friendly hand salve, (maybe Burt's Bees Hand salve,) to help his hands to heal up. My girls have had issues with this and helping them to learn to groom thier nails really helped us. Good Luck!

Dory
SAHM of 3 kids, 10months, 6, and 9.