How to Stimulate & Teach My 11 Month Old Baby...

Did you give birth to my oldest? Don't worry. They grow into their own. My oldest is now 4 and is still working on her attention span but what her strength and likes are now is painting, coloring, and she is very athletic. If she isn't outside she goes nuts. The best toys for her as a baby were anything from the kitchen, a ball and the bath with bubbles.

Good Luck and don't try so hard. It will only make you go nuts. They are all individuals. My baby is 19 months and can sit by herself and play. She loves books and coloring. They are night and day.

Remember that at 11 months, her attention span is painfully short, so don't spend too much time setting up activities for her expecting her to be absorbed by them.

Have you tried sign language - I did it with both of my kids - babysigns.com and it was a blast. They really are catching alot of what is thrown at them, but it takes some time for them to throw it back to you. With sign language, you will get to see what they are thinking before they can talk.

Forget about wasting money on fancy toys. Babies need to explore & they expand their cognitive skills best when offered toys that inspire them to be creative. These toys include soft balls, big blocks they can build with (you can also offer empty cereal & oatmeal containers), stacking cups (you can also offer measuring cups, wooden spoons, pots, and pans), scarves, board books, hats, tactile experiences like working with playdough or sand, and music. Once they get past the sticking everything in their mouth stage, they also enjoy drawing & painting. Make sure to find time to get her outside & moving- taking her to the park or "Under the Sea" is also a good way to meet "mommy friends".
Forget about trying to hold her attention on one task & "teaching" her. Just let her explore on her own and interact with her naturally. Sing her fun songs & have one-sided conversations with her & you will be surprised to see how quickly she will start to mimic you and show an understanding of her world.

Dear J. A,

I have been in the Alternative Health field for 31 years now. Just to give you a little bit of information on the children being born at this time. They are very intelligent and are called Crystal children. There are books on them and also the Indigo children. I have a friend with a 5 week old son who is already saying mama and is able to control his head and neck already too. These children are here to help us to create our new world that will be filled with love and support for each other. There are so many wonderful things happening.

If interested, let me know and I can fill you in on more.

Blessings,

J. Sanders
Alternative Health Practitioner
kaysnutriton.com

It sounds as if you have very little experience with babies and children. All 11 month old babies need a lot of attention. What they don't need is fancy educational toys and intensive training. Let her be! She will learn at her own pace, on her own schedule, and she will enjoy learning far more if she is not pushed and forced into it before she is ready. Find a mommies group in your area if possible. Both you and your daughter will benefit from it.

I'm thrilled that you are PROACTIVE in your kiddo's development..and YOU ALREADY have the plan! I'm a stay-at-home Dad and used to fret EXACTLY like you..but relax! The TIME you spend with your kid is the key. DO NOT be afraid to park your kid in front of PBSKIDS or the baby development TV! Yep, I said TV. Not all day mind you...but why do you think Sesame Street is an hour long? It is no longer the "boob tube," providing you stay on learning channels. Even as background noise it's OK! CLASSICAL Music builds brain matter too. DO NOT listen to hiphop but DO dance when you feel like it! My 7 year-old is the BEST reader in her school (out of 80+ other 2nd graders) and she's been a SIMPSONS fan since birth. My 4 year-old is following in the footsteps. Needless to say I have always explained that "silly" and "real life" are separate things but laughing is SOOO important and kids get it. INTERACT but let the TV work for you too! Just don't get stupid watching reality shows and all the garbage. The Weather channel is the ONLY DRAMA I let them watch! NO SPORTS EITHER, sportheads are idiots anyway. Teach curiosity and LAUGHTER! I also narrate the whole day so you better be a talker! LOL
My wife is "on duty" the moment she gets home from work..so I guess I'm still a "typical man" in SOME respects! Nonetheless, TIME SPENT WITH THEM is the key. Here ends my sermon... gotta go see what caused that "THUD" in the other room! SMILE! Homer Simpson said it best:"Kids are easy. You can teach them to hate everything you hate and they practically raise themselves!"

J.,

I completely understand your "quest" for activities for your daughter. That age is really tough because their attention span is so short. Don't sweat it. She is definitely taking in more than you know right now and because her ability to communicate verbally isn't defined she is not able to really tell you all that she is learning. In my opinion, 10 minutes is fine for an activity. I remember setting up what my husband and I called the "circuit". We just moved her from thing to thing and made it a point to be OK with some of the circuit being quite time. Sometimes an activity was watching me cook while she chewed on a teether (we used the Bebe Pod and she loved that)

One of her favorite "toys" at that age were baby food jar lids and different size coffee cans/containers- as suggested from the back of a Pampers advertisement. She would spend quite a while putting them in and dumping them out and moving them from place to place. It's also a great toy for travel. When she is a little older, just cut a large slit in the lid and then she can put her coins in the bank!

Hang in there, pretty soon your day will open up and there will be a lot more to do. In the meantime, just continue to give her lots of snuggles and attention. Helping her to feel loved and secure is the perfect start. Remember she has only been on the Earth for 330 days!!!!

Happy New Year,
K.

It's wonderful that your daughter likes to be read to. That is a "fun" thing that you and she can do together. Most 11 month olds like to play with things that they see you use around the house. They aren't so interested in toys, as they are in banging, pushing, pulling, throwing, and putting things in and out. In my experience, their favorite "toys" are often the plastic bowls in the kitchen - especially the nesting ones. If you have a safe cupboard that can become hers, with her things, in the kitchen, you can also add plastic measuring things, wooden spoons and other things she can play with. Also, she'll like it when you point to things and call the names out in a few months. She's a little young for that right now, but probably into moving and moving things around. You don't need to buy any more toys right now@

Maybe you can find a Baby and Me group in your area and connect with other moms and
a child development leader. Check out parentingtots.org, also.

Judy

It sounds like you are doing everything right. Attention span is approximately 3 X age in years (3min for a 1yr old, 15min for a 5yr old). Keep reading, singing songs, playing music, offering toys or pots/pans, etc. For the birthday, all you need is a small cake for her and a good camera for the photos! Also, try Parent Connection for playgroups in your area (Scripps hospital sponsored throughout San Diego County, available to anyone, $20 per year).

It sounds like you are already doing a fine job! My advice is just to relax and play with her. She naturally has a short atttention span, too, so don't expect too much. She is "getting" what you are giving her! Babies love to interact with their Mommies...it's the time you spend with her, not necessarily the "things" that will stimulate her best!

At 11 months, your baby's favorite and most exciting toy is you! What she likes most of all, and learns the most from, is you interacting with her. Her brain is still developing and human interaction is what she is most "hardwired" to respond to. No toy, no matter how amazing it is, can meet this need as well as you can. What she will learn and enjoy the most from is you talking, singing, laughing with her, playing with her toys with her etc. So it is great to have a nice variety of good quality toys the two of you can go through. Dads are super fun to play with too... sometimes even more fun than mom! Hopefully Grandma and Grandpa can play too.

A 10 minute attention span for a toy is appropriate for her age, I believe. I recently read on cnn.com that education video's like Baby Einstein are under pressure to change labelling on their video's because research shows that baby's brains develop less from any "educational" video than basic human interaction!

So keep up with the good work! It is reassuring (but sometimes tiring!) to know that you are all she needs!

I remember those days (so long ago, with my now-20-year-old son!)... looking for those "perfect fit" toys that would click with him and really engage him. What kids really are trained on is the direction of OUR emotional and mental energy and focus: they "feed on our consciousness." What excites and interests YOU? That is a good place to begin--inc. with books. But what the leading edge of child development has discovered is that all of the talk about babies being "stimulated" to foster healthiest brain development got a little bit mis-interpreted in the 90's, and we parents began to frantically look around for the most optimally stimulating things (inc. those black-and-white mobiles!!) The single most important and significant brain-builder at your daughter's age is RELATIONSHIP-based engagement... over anything! And also, a consistent, predictable ROUTINE to her days and weeks. That builds important regulating structures of the brain that in turn underlie her developing capacities for later-unfolding intelligence and the ability to focus and learn (ie, it protects against a host of regulation disorders such as ADHD.) In short, YOU are her favorite educational plaything! And for those times when you can't be there engaged 100% with her--and duh, there are MANY of those times during the day--you might look into the RIE approach, pioneered by Magda Gerber, for healthy, respectful alternatives.

What I discovered the hard way in my own experience... and in listening to the experiences of a lot of other parents too... is that very often when our kids are needing a lot of attention, it is because in those times when we ARE with them, we aren't quite ALL THE WAY with them, and they can feel that our energy is "there but not there"... and this is CRAZY-making to a baby. (Classic example w/ a young child: the minute you get on the phone--where all the energy is going to this invisible "other"--they begin to whine and nag at you.) Babies and children follow the energy, not words or things! For me, my energy was distracted and dissipated because I had lots of fears and troubled history from my own babyhood that emerged with motherhood, and ultimately needed to be confronted... so that my mental and emotional attention was more clear and available for my son (and later, my daughter.)

Here's a short column I wrote on this subject:
http://www.quantumparenting.com/articles/21/

Good luck, and enjoy these delightful months of your daughter's unfolding... she'll be walking soon!!!
M.

Dear J.,

Hmmm, that is typical baby behavior. They do not have a long attention span. She will do just fiiiiine, stop trying to teach her something all of the time. Her brain is alive and well and wants to know stuff. Let her play on a clean carpet or the kitchen floor with lots of stuff - toys and plastic margarine containers and you get the drift. She also needs to have alone time with 'stuff' to interest her. For goodness sake. I am 76 years old. I was born in 1931 when they barely had enough food and for sure no pediatricians, I sometimes wonder how I lived through it all. They just did not have any baby books, and/ or baby toys. I turned out fine, although a bit eccentric my sister says.

Trust yourself and your child, and do not become competitive with the other families. Just do your own thing. Babies really learn a lot when you take them shopping with you and to the grocery store. just take them along where ever you go, keeping in mind that they need to sleep, and rest, and eat and all that jazz. I always say that grocery stores are a baby's Disney land. They need to do something with real things - toys are not the real thing, although they do serve a certain purpose. That series of DVDs called something about Einstein are really good. The first way that babies learn is through touch, and handling and putting stuff into their mouths, and the second way is to watch something happening - especially somethig that is especially interesting or appealing to a baby - that is baby Einstein, and it also helps the attention span. Also, you will notice that baby Einstein has classical music, which is especially good for anyone's brain - there are loooots of wonderful childrens cds with darling songs. My 9 month old gr grandchild just loves to sing with us - we have this one song that says I love you over and over and she joins in with that and of course doesn't say the words, but she sort of makes appropriate noises on that part of the song. Then one day we told her that play time was over and she needed to go to sleep. We were just kidding and didn't think that she would do that. Then we put her on the bed and covered her up and said night night, and she patted her chest and sang quietly to herself. That was a melt moment for sure.

Also babies learn very fast, when they ignore a toy or something that you think that they would like, that means that they know what it is and what it does and are finished with it. On to something else to slobber on or bang on the floor.

One more thing and then I am finished, babies have a sense of humor and it will grow if you feed it with a laugh or smile. They tell jokes too, just watch and wait and one will be right around the corner.

Sincerely, C. N.

You have been given a lot of good advice already but I have one thing to add. You said she likes it when you read to her - why not start teaching her some Baby Signs? It is very easy to do and there are so many benefits. Check out http://www.babysigns.com for more information. Just start with a few signs for the things she likes to look at in books and very soon, she will be able to sign back to you and tell you what she sees (bunny, kitty, ball, etc.)! She won't be able to say real words yet for a while but she is now at the age of possibly being able to sign to you, especially if she can already wave bye-bye, or lift her arms up above her head for "pick me up!".

Signing is very stimulating to a baby because for one thing, it shows them how they can communicate with you before their mouths and tongues can make the words they already understand. Also, signing babies talk earlier and better than non-signing babies (on average).

Good luck and just enjoy your baby. You don't need a whole lot of toys really, a lot of little ones at this age are just happy sitting in front of the tupperware drawer and exploring what's in there!

Hi J. A. Let her learn at her own pace, no matter how hard we try or want to do the "right" thing. I personally think too many people push too hard and then the child gets a sort of "burn out" at a young age. Also, she is probably taking a lot of what you are doing and sayin in, even if she's not really responding. If she likes books get some that she can look at on her own and put in her mouth too - cloth books. Also, low tech toys can be great...not so many bells and whistles. If she always feels that the entertainment has to be brought to her then she won't learn to explore and entertain herself. There may be a week or two of dissent from her but she will eventually understand the new rules and adjust to them. Remember, you should train your baby and not visa versa. Good luck. K.

Well, 10 minutes is actually pretty impressive for an 11-month-old! Really, they can be engaged by the simplest things, and the fancy things aren't necessarily what you need. We've all experienced our children being more fascinated with the box than with the toy itself. Things that stimulate the senses are great - like bumpy balls, crinkly fabric books...an old tissue box covered in pictures and clear-view contact paper...soft and plush building blocks...empty plastic water bottles filled with chunky beads and feathers (and sealed tightly so it can't be opened)...dancing scarves...musical instruments like shakers and a xylophone...not to mention music itself. Also, in reference to the sign language suggestion below - this is a wonderful idea but personally I would recommend Time to Sign (http://www.timetosign.com/). I have worked with Lillian (the founder) personally and have many of their products, and the thing I like is that they teach the real ASL sign language and not a simplified version for babies. Babies actually can and do learn the real signs...her own baby was signing "milk" at 4 months old. I hope this helps! -K.

At that age, babies are very sensory and have a short attention span. With toys that have flaps, zippers and buttons, play with them with her and say what's under the flap. Show her how to smell flowers. Let her pat different textures and say what it is- "soft", "fuzzy" etc. Give her a little drum and show her how to hit a toy on it to make a sound. Spend time with her, read to her and talk to her , explain how things work so she can learn how to do them and let her have some time and space to play on her own and explore.

Good luck!

The attention span of an 11 month old is very short...actually, 10 minutes is very good! I used to listen to nursery rhymes quite often with my little girl and boy when they were little. If you can get them on DVD so that they have a visual as well as the songs to sing to them, that is even better. Our favorite was the Itsy Bitsy Spider...there are so many more verses than the one everyone knows! Recently, I noticed a new TV program that is for developing baby...let me look for it and get back to you. Life is busy with baby until...well, I am still busy but the baby deal is very exhausting...very rewarding when you see progress! My babies are now 14 and and 9!

I agree that your baby most needs you to respond to. Educational toys and especially videos are such a rip off- the media is trying to convince parents that they need all of this stuff to raise a successful child, but really you only need a few basic toys and yourself. However, I can relate to you because I too have a very high maintainance child (I say that in the most loving way). She's 16 months now and much better at entertaining herself, but I remember that time vividly. I strongly encouraged her to explore and interact with the environment on her own, both because I value independance and because I needed a few seconds to myself. The key to this is to make sure that at least part of your house is completely accesable to her, like completely safe and "okay" for her to touch, grab, shake, and put in her mouth. Another key is to remember that almost all children go through a phase from about 11 months to 16 months (give or take) when they temporarily loose all interest in toys. What helps during this period is observation and creativity. Use "grown up" items that are both safe for her and interesting, especially things that she sees you use every day. My daughter loves to play with our junk mail. I also gave her some of our old cell phones (make sure there are no small parts that can fall off and that you take the batteries out). Pots and pans are obvious. I also gave her the entire set of baby take and toss containers and lids because I had stopped using them, and she stacks them, puts things in them, and takes the lids off and (almost) puts the lids on. Two facinating concepts that fascinate children at this age are fill/empty and open/close. Use this to your advantage. Izzy loves to empty the clean laundry out of the basket before I fold it, but instead of getting frustrated with her I encourage her to help me pick it up, and she always does.

Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent. A lot of this can be found in a book called "Your Child At Play" which is a series that covers each year up to preschool (maybe beyond, I haven't looked that far). I would go for the 1-2 book for your daughter. It is easily one of my favorite parenting book because it is very easy to read without being condescending, and it is very practical and includes mostly every day items and situations.

Good luck!

Your daughter may benefit from playdates. Why don't you join a MOPS group where your daughter will be in a nursery environment and this will allow her to gain some social skills. Maybe you are just over-stimulating her and she is better off playing with simpler toys.
She will let you know when she is ready to "learn." Don't give up on her, at 11 months, babies attention spans are about 10 minutes long. :-)