How to Potty Train a Speech Delayed 2 Yr Old?

Updated on December 28, 2008
J.C. asks from Dallas, TX
6 answers

This is my first and only child and I'd like some tips on how to go about potty training. He is 2 and a half. I've bought the little potty and I've tried getting him to sit on it for awhile, but he will only sit on it for about 45 seconds before wanting to get off. If I try to give him a book, he'll throw a tantrum because he wants to get off the potty. I read him the "everybody poops" book and the "potty book".
Everytime I go, I say ,"look, mommy goes potty". He doesn't mind a dirty diaper so I can't get him to let me know when he has to go. And since he's speech delayed,he doesn't ever really tell me he needs to go or that he went potty in his diaper. The most he'll say on the subject is "ick" and bring me a new diaper.
I have him signed up for preschool beginning august(7 mos away) and they require all students be potty trained so I want to start now. Can anyone please tell me what to do? It would REALLY help if I got advice from a mom who's son or daughter is also speech delayed b/c I think that is most of the problem. Thank you. :-)

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So What Happened?

His speech delay is expressive. He understands everything he is told and follows 2 step orders. I bought him a sesame street potty dvd to watch in the car, and am going to lay off a bit for a few wks and then try again. I will make it fun and not a chore. I am also going to look into our ISD for early childhood programs as a back up to the preschool. Thank you all so much. :-)

More Answers

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

okay, seriously, you have until AUGUST. if he's not "into it" now, for the love of all sanity, STOP! 2.5 is "youngish" for ANY boy(or girl). my youngest will be 3 in a few days, i've "tried" twice, he's not interested, potty training is NOT a battle i'll fight. MANY of my friends brag about how "their kid" was "potty trained" at 1.5 or 2.5 or 2 or whatever - yet those same friends were whining for MONTHS on end about cleaning out the carseat, changing bed linens, cleaning the carpets, etc. for me, it's not worth it - my oldest potty trained in one day at 3.5, NEVER NEVER NEVER had an accident, and he was diagnosed as having autism at a YOUNG age - and still he did it when he was "ready". he turned six yesterday, and the child has STILL never had an accident. we were in the required for preschool thing too, he turned 3 in december, and had to be trained by september when "school" started - i potty trained him on july 21 of that year. wait until things settle down from the holidays, put ALL potty training stuff away, and give it at least 5 or 6 weeks, then try again. it WILL happen, and if it will make you feel better, try to find a school with a tiny deposit that doesn't require potty training as a backup plan, but don't make him or yourself crazy with this right now. best of luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter has PDD/NOS - High functioning autism and neurologicaly different than other kids...so she is delayed as well.

She is 2 1/2 and we have started the potty training process back when she was 18 months. I tried the whole take her to the potty every 15 - 30 min thing didnt work out. It was more of a chore for her and not fun. She fought me all the way!

Even though she is speech delayed - she only needed to know three words: pee pee, poo poo and potty. Once she had those down we could potty train. I dont need her to tell me...mommy i need to go potty. The one word was enough.

So I took a step back and changed my tatic.

When she would pee pee I would tap the front of her Diaper and say PEE PEE? I think you have Pee Pee lets go change your diaper. Yep you have pee pee alright!

Same for I tap the back and say do you have Poo Poo?

So now she comes to me and taps her diaper front or back and tells me Pee Pee or Poo Poo.

So I walk her to the bathroom and show her where we throw the poo poo. Poo Poo goes in the potty!

I would say its time to go potty! Make it all fun like and dance around! And she puts her potty seat on the potty and sits down and I hand her flash cards or a book. When she is ready to get off i let her get off. I dont push her to stay.

Now she comes to me and says Potty and taps her diaper. Or says poo poo. So we run to the potty and she sits down on the potty and will stay there for a few min.

Of course nothing happends but she is happy about it and then we wash her hands. i tell her good try...

She is now telling me poo poo before she goes and potty. But I have yet to catch it. So i may have to start taking her every few min once she starts to tell me.

MAKE IT FUN!!! NOT A CHORE!

If you force him to stay he wont want to do it. Make it a game and let him get off when he is ready.

***********************************************************

Re the School thing.

I have my daughter in a Mothers Day Out program at a church in NRH. I chose this school because of there flexibility re my child and her delays and special needs.

I asked before signing her into the school about the potty training thing for pre school when she turns three. I made them aware that she is delayed and may not be trained by that time. I asked will they not move her ahead to that class is she is not trained? They said no they would NOT hold her back. Because of her special situation that they will make exceptions for her. That they are here to help the mom and not cause more problems. That every child is different and learns at their own time.

So I am so pleased with this church and their program and will gladly drive the 30 min to her school.

So I would look around and see if you can find a school or church that will make the exception for your son since he has delays.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

OK I know this may sound funny- but I would use his "Vocab"- like - lets do "ick" in the potty= give him some toys to play with- with speech delay his least favorite toy may be a book-try action figures and some old plastic ware for imagination. BLowing bubbles while he sits there is fun too. I think connecting the speech delay witht he bathroom issue may be clouding you- Even use a sign language code for potty if you can- but know that he feels the sensation of needing to go just like a child without the delay. Boys have the up for pee down to poop issue and sometimes boys do not like to poop b/c they feel like a part of them is leaving their body- I knew a few friends with boys that had that issue. Just hang in there and try different stall tactics- Also- pop him in regular underwear and see how that feels wet and gross- Nowadays all these diapers are made some wet resistant and protective that they arent so bad to be wearing when they are soiled-lol Your best sense of defense- cartoon underwear as a reward- he'll get the idea that he can wear them as a reward only- dont cave in tho.

My kids both picked it up right before 3 years old - and all my friends kids were like 2 - 2 and half-However, my kids never wet the bed or digressed- all of theirs did b/c they learned too early. Hang in there and dont stress- no one goes to kindergarten with a diaper.
lol

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son is speech delayed and it took longer than other peers. He was about 3 1/2 when he finally got everything down and was completely reliable. Potty training is an individual thing -- it's not a one size fits all way to approach it. Each child is different - speech delay or no speech delay. And one of the BIG signs that they are ready and will be more able to hold the concept - is having remorse when they have accidents. Put him in little undies and tell him to hold his pee pee until he can make it to the potty. Is he receptive language better - does he understand what you're saying? And he'll probably have some little accidents all over the house - put down towels and comforters or waterproof covers on the couches if you're too scared. But he needs to actually feel what it's like to be uncomfortable and see what his response is.

I did this starting at 2 1/2 and he wasn't the least bit phased by it. So I waited a couple more months and tried again. And tried again. And potty training will happen in stages. First, he might go everytime you sit him down on the potty, but still have accidents... then, he'll actually go pee on the potty uninitiated, but not bowel movements. etc.

So even though the preschool is pushing it. You are the mom and you can't do that. it won't work. It needs to be on his time and his level. Potty training is something that is in their control. if the preschool is insistent on it... then sounds like you need to choose a new preschool. I had my son in Plano ISD early childhood school (ages 3-4) and they gave him free speech services and preschool teaching because of his delay... and they accept all children regardless of where they are in learning how to potty train. So check your local school district about their early childhood services.

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

You don't mention whether his delay is expressive or receptive. That could make a difference.

My son was speech delayed as well (expressive). He potty trained himself when his language came in a a little after he turned 2.5. He has had maybe 2 accidents in the past almost 2 yrs. This is by no means a reflection of my spectacular parenting skills (I'm being funny there).

The thing is, he was ready and was showing the signs. You might research this one, because it sounds like your guy just isn't there yet and that's ok. It's not a reflection of his intelligence or your parenting. My son has a very verbal, very intelligent friend who didn't potty learn until after 3. Bribes didnt' work for him. He just decided one weekend he was done. Actually, most of his pals learned sometime around or after 3. Maybe it has less to do with language and more to do with readiness.

My only advice is to cool it. The more you push, the more he'll push back. It HAS to be their idea and not yours. You have until August, so a lot can happen before then. Also, the school is going to expect accidents. That's why they have you pack extra clothes and underpants. This is not worth turning it into a big deal. For the sake of your sanity and his, take a break. When he shows interest, reward him with praise but don't force him into anythign. My son had a slightly older friend who used the potty, and this fascinated him. Maybe watching him and spending time with him helped.

The thing to keep in mind is --- all kids potty learn eventually. Nobody goes to kindergarten in diapers. Nobody. He will potty learn, but when he's good and ready. This may mean that he has a few accidents at school. It's ok. They're prepared for it. You might talk to them a bit more to have them better define what they mean by potty trained. I guarantee you, if he has an accident there, he will not be the first or the last to do so. I think their expectation, if they truly expect older 2s/young 3s to be completely self sufficent in the potty department, is unrealistic. Good luck!

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

My son has Asperger's but when he was that age, they called it speech delay.

I would wait a few more months. Then try again. He may need a little longer to mature.

My son went to pre-school at 3 and I sent him in a Pull-up. He never pooped at that time of day.... it was only 3 1/2 hours. And they would take everyone potty at a set time, so even if he didn't go he got the idea. And he didn't have any problems because he had the Pull-up on.

I know they say they need to be potty trained, but trust me even at Kindergarten accidents will happen with other kids. My daughter, who had no issues, just waited too long one time to go and didn't make it to the potty in time. They just call you and you bring clothes and clean them up. She was not damaged by the event and probably doesn't even remember.

Pee happens.

Relax for now and try again in a few months. When he's able, it'll happen really fast.

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