How to Handle Sil's Friend?

I don't know.
I'd probably laugh and say "You seem to say that every time you see my daughter! What's the big deal and when are you going to get over it?".

It lets her know you've noticed.
It also puts her on the spot to explain herself and lets her know you'd like her to stop.

Maybe she is at a loss for words and doesn't know what to say to you, but she feels like she needs to be friendly and have a connection?

Instead of being annoyed, maybe try to find another area of commonality to shift the chit chat?

I wouldn't say anything if it was me, but I also don't find it odd or rude for someone to notice that my child looks more like my husband than he does me, it is not like that is some kind of insult against me or my child so it confuses me why you feel this is so rude? I would just say "yes, she is pretty and smart, just like her daddy" and leave it at that.

Start taking Uber or Lyft ( I prefer Uber in my area) and no more worries!

laugh and say "well you should see the other side of the family" .

I'm going to guess she looks like either you or your husband somewhat ... she has your genes obviously.

My MIL used to say one of our kids look like her other son. The worst part is, my son hates being told he looks like his uncle - who is middle aged and never dated. No teenager wants to be compared.

We just ignore it. We told our son to do the same. She hasn't taken the hint, but then, people like that who are a tad odd, or socially awkward, rarely do.

Don't let it get to you. It's nothing personal.

I think you're overthinking this. I get told all the time I look just like one side of my family. It's because I am very small. That whole side is very little. My physical features are nothing like them. We just have the same physique. She's not an expert on this. She's just thinking of something to say when you're in her taxi. Some people talk to fill the void.

Change the topic is all. Don't let it get to you.

Obviously your daughter came out of your body. It's not like this woman could insinuate that your husband slept with the mailman and the child isn't related to you. I think she's just socially/conversationally awkward.

But, might as well use a different taxi service!

sounds to me as if she's a little socially awkward, and has hit on a groove that gives her *something* to converse about when she sees you.

it's odd, but really no more rude and fixated than you are on being so focused on it.

if it bugged me i'd probably respond with a puzzled look, a 'really? huh' and a shrug. and no further response.

khairete
S.

This would not bother me enough to think about. Look at what issue she brings up in your mind. I think it goes deeper than a random persons comments.

I guess out of all the habits in the world, this seems pretty harmless. I am assuming this is your husband's sister's friend? Your daughter probably bears (at least in her mind) a really striking resemblance to her friend or other family member that she is close to in your husband's family.

I'd take this habit over a finger cracking, smoke smelling, gum snapping, taxi driver any day of the week. I'd thank her for the compliment (she clearly thinks she is giving one) and move on.

Sure it's weird, kind of like this one coworker who used to always make the same joke about how I made my coffee. I mean I was annoyed (and rolled my eyes behind his back) but I never thought about it later. If it bothers you so much then say something, like why do you always say that? But really maybe she's just bad at making small talk. Is there a reason you're so sensitive or offended, something else going on? Because this seems like a very small deal.
Also why aren't you using Uber or Lyft? SO much easier and cheaper!

The next time it happens, tell her you heard her the first 3 (or 12 times) she brought it up. Suggest that she's a bit forgetful.

If it happens again after that, tell her you're going to use another taxi company or Lyft, and that you'll tell her boss why: that his employees make inappropriate personal remarks to customers even when asked not to. Just because she knows your SIL doesn't mean she can be unprofessional in her job. And if she does it to you, she probably says even worse stuff to other people.

Then take your business elsewhere.

Don't let this bother you it's petty. And your pregnancy hormones are probably going crazy. You didn't say how old your daughter is. She may be getting more distinct features that she sees resemble the one she loves. She is just admiring how beautiful she is. Not to say she wouldn't be beautiful if she looked like you. But as you said she doesn't know what your side looks like to know what features are from you. It's not a big deal. My husband adopted my oldest and people used to say he looked like his daddy, meaning my husband. He would just smile and say thank you! I don't think she is doing this to upset you. My family will talk about how much different ones look like which side of the family when we get together. If you have a problem with her doing this talk to her. Let her know it bothers you or talk to your husband and have him talk to her. Or just don't use her taxi service.

Avoid her all together if you can. But if you have to encounter her, smile and say "yes, you mentioned that the last time we were here" and then quickly change the subject. Some people don't realize they repeat themselves.

reply back - and ask her WHY she is sooo obsessed with your daughter and her looks?

when you say "EVERY SINGLE TIME" - how many times are we talking? Like once a week or more?

Why don't you use Uber or Lyft instead of a taxi?

Updated

reply back - and ask her WHY she is sooo obsessed with your daughter and her looks?

when you say "EVERY SINGLE TIME" - how many times are we talking? Like once a week or more?

Why don't you use Uber or Lyft instead of a taxi?

Nod, smile awkwardly and say, "Okay, thanks for telling me that, yet again." then switch to business talk, or just tune her out and ignore her comments, she will eventually get the hint that you don't care to engage and don't have the patience for rude, repetitive comments. I agree that Uber and Lyft are cheaper, especially Lyft. Unless she is giving you an amazing discount for being her friend's SIL, you probably would be better off financially (and emotionally, for not having to deal with the frustrating comments) by using Lyft or Uber. They are generally very quick, I have never waited more than 5 minutes to get one, most of the time, by the time I get off the elevator and into my lobby, they are pulling in to the entrance. I have never had that speedy service experience with cabs.

Well, if you can't ignore it, then face it head on. When she says it again, look directly at her with a puzzled look on your face and tell her you have heard her say that several times to you. Then ask why it is such an issue for her and if she has another point you are missing that she is trying to get at. Then tell her not to mention it again because it's getting tiresome hearing it over and over. Don't engage in any talk or discussion about who your daughter looks like, what you think she looks like, what your side of the family looks like, etc.

I would say: thanks for noticing my daughter is unique. I'm VERY proud of my daughter's looks. She is herself and no one else.

Or you could say: Of course she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She's adopted.

I would probably say, "Huh," and then change the subject. If it continued, I would probably start speaking to my daughter about something - school, sports, whatever - and just ignore the woman as much as possible.

It's definitely odd, but she clearly doesn't realize it's odd. I doubt anything you could say or do would actually make her realize that.

I tell people that they must like my husband’s side of the family more. ; ) It’s like a Rorschach test because half of the people that see my older son thinks he looks exactly like me and half of the people think that he looks exactly like my husband with my side of the family and most friends say he looks just like me and vice-versa.

Our youngest has bright red hair and is very fair. No one thinks that he even looks related. One man screamed, at a church event no less, that he couldn’t possibly be my husband’s son. Therefore I can’t help thinking that it could be worse.

I’d say something about the repetitive conversation and find alternative travel if she was driving me that batty.

Is there another taxi company that is close to you? I would avoid that freak. What about using UBER? Are you married? Does your spouse have a car? If so, can you and your spouse try to make it work that your spouse can drive you to/from wherever you are going? Brainstorm! I wouldn't want to be subjected to her every time I needed a cab.

If its bothering your daughter, I would flat out say, we have the same conversation everytime. Can we talk about something else? It would annoy me after a while. You have to tell her to please stop making these comments.

Tell her “I think Alzheimer and low IQ must run on your side of the family because you say the same thing every time...”

I would head this off at the pass the next time you call for a cab. Ask her nicely if she would please not talk about your daughter's looks anymore. Recommend that she ask her if she likes school (provided that she does, that is). Tell her that this would make your daughter feel more comfortable.

Please don't feel bad about doing this. Please don't continue to allow her to say this stupid and insensitive stuff in front of your daughter. YOUR daughter matters. She doesn't.

You don't owe her any excuses. You shouldn't talk about why she looks like anyone else, or that she looks like herself, etc. Don't give her excuses for what she says. Only give her an alternative subject. It doesn't matter that she's dense. It matters that she isn't thinking of anyone but herself and this is NOT appropriate for your daughter to listen to. You just need to be pleasant but matter-of-fact. Say it quickly and then change the subject/finish your cab order.