My 5 year old will not sleep in his own bed in is room. He will start off there but will eventually end up in my bed or his grandmothers. Any suggestions on how to keep him in his own bed? He just turned 5 on 01/08 and this has been going on since he first learned to walk around the house.
Thanks in advance,
L. F.
This behavior should have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. Do a reward system. If he stays in his bed all night, he gets priviledges. If does not stay in his bed ... no priviledges. Or you can reverse his door knob and lock him in his room for the entire night. Good luck.
I let my son sleep with the lights on and have the radio playing all night. Then if he still came to my room I had a sleeping bag, and pillow on the floor for him and if he came to my room there were no stuffed animals allowed. Then I gave him rewards like a toy from the dollar store every 5-7 days he slept in his room. He now sleeps in his room with the hall light, a night light, some stuffed animals, and now our dog Sumi. Good luck.
Be consistent by putting him back in his bed no matter how many times and who's bed he gets into.
This is a good question and I am in the same boat. I look forward toreading the responses you get and hopefully you will post any future update to getting your little out your bed cuz I want mine back, too.
L.,
I know how you feel. My daughter turned 6 in November. She will start out sleeping in her bed and end up in ours every night. We are getting a puppy for her to sleep with. We get it today so please pray for us. I will be praying for you and let me know if you find anything that works.
Blessings
M.
He can only get in your bed or his grandmothers if you allow it. Just walk him back to his bed every time he tries to get in yours (and have grandma do the same). No need for a big deal. You might talk to him before you start this and just say "honey, you need to sleep in your own bed. We are very blessed to have our own rooms and space in our home, and it's important for everyone to respect that space. If you come to mom or grandma's bed anymore, we'll just take you back to your room". Then, walk him back. If he's scared, etc., then you might lay in his bed with him for a few minutes before heading back to your own room. As with all changes like this, it will be hard at first, but he will eventually learn.
L.,
You are getting some good advice. I know as a kid I hated sleeping alone, thank goodness my parents had 4 daughters. I shared a room with one of my sisters until I was 10 or 11. Anyway, one thing that helped me out, was my mom bought me a big teddy bear, he had to be at least 3 feet tall if not longer. I snuggled up with him, Mr. Bear, until I was in my 20's and a friend of mine had a little boy. I spent the night at her house, and ended up giving it to her son to sleep with. Mr. Bear really helped me out. Maybe you could go shopping with your son and get him an animal he would like to cuddle with. I'm sure that's a major part of the problem, he wants to cuddle and be close to you or his grandmother.
God Bless
Hi L., I also have a 5 year old and we started having this problem when he was around 4. He kept coming into our room in the middle of the night wanting to stay in our bed. What we did and it worked was that evreytime he came we would take him back be constant and tell Grandma to do the same. It is exhausting to be getting up everytime he comes and taking him back to his room but if you are constant all you will need is 2-4 days and he will get it. My son now sleeps in his room the whole night. Stay strong and Constant.
God Bless You!
Hi L.,
My daughter will be 5 in march and we are having the same debate in our home. I really hope the woman who said to lock him in his room all night was kidding. Really.
Since my daughter is old enough to understand choices (a little bit, anyway), we tell her that she needs to sleep in her bed until it is dark. If there is a little bit of light outside, she can be in our bed. (Lately this means I am up and when she wakes up we go back to bed for a quick cuddle.) We have raised our bed so it is harder for her to climb into when she is half-asleep. And we put blankets and pillows on the floor next to our bed and tell her that she can sleep there. It's not easy, but we talk it through every night while we are turning out her lights. When she asks "why?" we answer that mommy needs to rest so I can take care of her all day long and daddy needs to rest so he can go to work, which is how he takes care of us.
My general philosophy is that we do whatever we need to in this house so that the most number of people get the most sleep.
Hope this helps!
M.
www.yogapotential.com
One of my daughters had a very hard time staying in her own room when she was around 6. She told us she was afraid and wanted to be closer to us. So we rearranged her room where her bed was on the wall closer to our room. That helped a short while. Then she would come in our room after we had told her she needed to stay in her own, and she would make a pallet on the ground next to our bed and sleep there. We explained she didn't need to be in our room, but in hers. Then she would make the pallet just outside our door. It was a huge struggle for her and us. We later, the next year, found out there may have been a reason behind all her insecurity. Now I feel so bad for not asking her more in depth questions on WHY she didn't feel safe. But, we all just took it night by night and with love we reassured her she was safe, and it was okay to sometimes get in our bed, but not every night. So sometimes she would come in there for an hour and then go back to her bed. I like the idea you've already gotten about a large stuffed animal to sleep with. Just try to find out WHY he won't sleep in his room. Maybe it's habit now, maybe he's scared, maybe your bed is warmer or more comfortable. I also found making sure she was warm enough helped sometimes. Also, see if there is anything that is waking him up, and then at that time he realizes he is by himself and wants to be with you. The light, noise, the temperature, uncomfortable, etc... Just remember to be loving and it will work out. I really didn't mind her sleeping with us, until she got too big. :-) They won't want to be this close to us forever. Good luck.
L.,
The thing I found that worked with all 3 of my kids it to take them back to bed - every single time. Be consistent with this. Pretty quickly they get the idea if they come to bed with you or grandma, they will be put back to their own bed. Yes, your 5 year old will try to reason with you, but don't take the bait.
This idea came from SuperNanny. She also said:
1st time - give kiss/hug and say, "it's time for you to go to bed.
2nd time (same night) - just say, "bed time"
3rd time and each subsequent time - just take them to bed without saying anything.
You might want to verify the wording, but I'm sure it's pretty close. Here's the book info:
http://www.amazon.com/Supernanny-How-Best-Your-Children/d...
Best of luck.
K.
Have you really looked at the way that his bedroom is set up? Is it comfortable to HIM, not just pleasing to YOU? I let my kids pick their own paint, not by what's popular at the moment, but by using their own body knowledge. Made a HUGE difference. Plus, I just worked with a client whose 2 1/2 yr old daughter never slept through the night, always changing beds midway, and simply by moving her bed and adjusting the placement of her nightlight, the problem was solved. Call me if you would like a consultation!
B. Biehl
www.TheIntuitiveInterior.com
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L., I never really had this problem with my son, but while at a mom's group the topic came up and some of the ladies' suggestions were. Give the child a flashlight and a book or just the flashlight so that they don't get bored or scared in bed (this friend is a mother of three and said that it worked for all 3 of her children) Another friend sad she simply locks the child in so that they cannot get out. She said that she tells her son that the child will be locked and so that he shouldn't even try to get out. She has a camera in the room, so that helps to make sure the child is safe. She said that her son would try to get out at first, but once he realized that he wasn't going to be able to get out he stopped trying. She says that now she doesn't even lock the door, she only closes it and he thinks it's locked.
Hope this helps.
A.
