How to Get My 3 Month Old to Sleep...

Hey C.. I don't know if you are trying to get her to stop being swaddled or not, but I used "The Miracle Blanket" for my daughter until she was about 6 months old. It's a swaddling blanket that is almost impossible for babies to get out of. My daughter loved it and didn't wake herself up at night when she wiggled in her blanket. She also slept through the night since we had started using it at 4 weeks. My daughter was also in a bassinett next to us until almost seven months. She is 8 months now and doesn't want to be swaddled anymore and sleeps in her crib. She still sleeps all night. I don't know if this helps or not.

It looks like you've gotten some great advice. I personally agree witht the Dr. Sears approach and the No-Cry Sleep Solution. I just wanted to add that what you are describing is very normal behavior at that age. If you are comfortable with it, many babies nap very well in a carrier such as a pouch, ring sling, mei tai, or wrap, and that would free you to be able to move around and do things while she naps on you. My best advice to you is to trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel like it is working for your family, move on to the next option. You will find that this time will pass quickly (when you look back on it) and you'll treasure the times when your daughter needed so much snuggling and love. Good luck and here's hoping there will soon be some good nights in your home.

C. -

I respectfully disagree with advice telling you to let her fuss and cry. You are this girl's mommy for a reason and if your instincts are telling you not to let her cry - then don't! I followed some advice to let my baby cry and it just got worse instead of better! You can buy the Miracle Blanket online, or Babies R Us sells a "Kiddopatumus" Swaddle Me blanket that also works well and is a little less expensive. My 6.5 month old still likes to be swaddled for naptime, but has learned to sleep without it during the night. I would say that you really do want her to start napping w/o being held, because you do need her to do that eventually. Rather than making her cry, I REALLY recommend the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly. It gives you great ideas on how to get your baby sleeping without making them "cry it out." I truly believe that the reason you feel so uneasy making her cry is because it isn't natural - it's not like she will cry forever!

Good Luck and God Bless!

I second Dr. Sears! But has it been very long? Maybe it's just a growth spurt or something. Have you checked out the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? I used it, it helped.

K.

My advice is to research Dr. Sears and his views of co sleeping and attachment parenting. Many moms out there say they don't agree with co sleeping, but I think you will find that more and more parents agree with it. I have co slept with both my girls and love it. My four year old is now in her room on her own and loves sleep. My two year old is still in my bed for now, but she is starting to like her own bed. I guess what I am trying to say is that little babies need comforting and parenting at all hours, and what worked best for me was to co sleep. It is the best decision I have ever made.

My son started doing the same thing at that age and finally I found a solution. I found he was getting hot and changed my swaddle to a muslin lightweight swaddle I found at Babies R Us. I wrap him up in just his diaper. I also bought a fan for his room. Additionally we use the white noise. I started tuning an old alarm clock to station 89.1, the best static in town. I've since moved on to a cd of rain sounds on repeat instead. It's great, he sleeps so soundly during thunderstorms since he's used to the rain. I play it loud. It works in the car too, we call it the static coma. My son now sleeps through the night most of the time.

Your baby is probably going through what I go through myself. I go to sleep nightly in my easy chair so that I can answer the door at all hours. When I first fall asleep it feels so good. I LOVE my chair. But by about 3 in the morning I am stiff and sore from sleeping in the same position and start to crave laying in a real bed.

My guess is that your daughter feels comforted by the swaddle and is comfortable at first. But half way through the night she needs out of it. But by the time she wiggles herself free she is awake and then needs some help to get back to sleep. What happens after you feed her at this point? This may be the time to start letting her fuss herself back to sleep after she has had a bottle and a diaper change. I personally think it's too young to expect her to sleep through the night. So I'd keep the swaddle in the beginning of the night. But then let her get used to not having it the last half.

Suzi

this may sound silly, but i put a bag of rice atop my baby. of course she was sleeping on an incline, and all that jazz. i guess it's not too silly... b/c it worked!

Hi C.,

I have a 3 month old son and my husband and I have been going through something similar. My Ped told me we should try to wean him off the swaddler (which made me sad because I really believed it helped him sleep through the night.) so that he didn't rely on it to sleep. We went the gradual route - 1-2 weeks with one arm out, then both arms out for a few weeks and only feet in and this weekend we went to no swaddle. He wakes himself up during the night, by moving around a lot, but goes back to sleep. There have been a few nights when he needs us to go in and help him get back to sleep (I personally think 3 months is still a little too young to expect them to cry it out or put themselves to sleep). Our son is also a terrible napper during the day - thank goodness he is a good night sleeper!!! I too have to rock, and hold to get him to sleep more than 10 minutes during the day. My ped just smiled when I said he fought naps and told me to do what I could - even letting him sleep in his swing - to help him sleep. Good luck to you, and know your not alone.

J.

Hi C.,

I have two children - six and four. My six year old was a horrible sleeper and I didn't know so much about babies as she was my first. I was determined to make my son a good sleeper and he was! I ended up using two books, swaddling, white noise, and a less than ten minute routine.

I started with Harvey Karp's book, The Happiest Baby on the Block, and the 5 S system of sleep which includes swaddling. Swaddling actually replicates the womb by keeping the baby warm and their arms close to their body. I ended up swaddling my son for nine months using old sheets I cut up as he grew larger and too big for the commercial baby swaddling blankets.

At about four months I brought in Marc Weissbluth's book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. My friends and I call this the bible on sleep. It gives you so much information on sleep and how it works, effects your body, etc. He has great information in there on how to get naps on track and how to adjust them if days get busy, etc. I still refer to this book and my kids are older.

The biggest piece of information that young was when to start the morning nap and how to create a under ten minute routine. I used to take him back to his room, make sure it was dark with the fan running for white noise, rock him, and read Goodnight Moon. Then I would lay him down or set him in his seat. I think at three months he was still sleeping in his car seat. He had horrible gas and it helped.

To this day we still rock, use a fan, and read Goodnight Moon. It is amazing how his body relaxes and he is ready to lay in bed. He knows I will leave but he is usually in the zone and happy to sleep. We can do this routine in any setting - hotel, Grandma's, etc. - which is nice, too.

Good luck! It sounds like your baby has a great momma!
Cheers, LA

C. -

Congrats on your baby girl and new mommyhood. My first piece of advice to you after reading your post is DO NOT make bad habits. The older she gets the harder they will be to break! I promise and speak from experience!!! So, holding her (or rocking her, humming to her, etc.) to get her to go to sleep is a very bad idea in the fact that you want to teach her to be a self soother and be able to get herself to sleep and (back to sleep - for the most part). I think that now that she is kicking herself out of the swaddle you may have to suffer a few extra nights by letting her fuss it out. She will eventually go to sleep. I know this is tough but since she is only going to get more mobile these next few months (and forever after) this issue will not get easier - you will have to replace the swaddle with a little taggie blankie maybe or a favorite stuffed animal. She WILL get better with the sleeping thing but...not without some fussing and sleepless nights in the meantime!! Sorry! We have all been there though with this sort of thing so you are NOT alone in these times. I hope you can hang in there and she don't worry she will be fine during these trying times!!! God Bless!!!

One thing we did to wean our daughter off the swaddle (and she wasnt completely out of it until 9 months) was not swaddle one arm so that it was free and eventually she'd unswaddle herself in her sleep and stay asleep. Good luck!

Recommended reading resources: Happiest Baby oon the Block and the No Cry Sleep Solution.

That said, it is perfectly okay to still swaddle your child at 3 mo. If its working don't worry about it. As a transition try swaddling with one arm out. If that works, then you can know she may be ready to leave swaddling behind. We swaddled #2 until 4 months. They make major developmental advanced toward sleeping at 4 months, so take it easy on yourself and get some sleep.

Does she not sleep at night unless she is held ? Or does she have to be held at nap time also, or only at night. If it is only at night, it could be because you and your husband are in the room at night and as long as you are there - then she wants to be held. Maybe it is time for her to sleep in her own room - or at least out of sight of you and your husband. G.

You sing or rock her to sleep. Or even play music before she goes to sleep.

Hi C.,

My husband and I have a 3 1/2 month old little boy who was going through the same thing about a month ago. Your daughter is not too young to be in her own room or her own bed. It took a few weeks, but a nighttime routine really helped us. At night we would give him a bath, put him in a sleeper, feed him a little, and rock him to sleep. At this point, little things made a difference. I noticed that he got sleepier when his bottle was made with warm water instead of cold and he went to sleep faster when I would rock him with the lights off. Babies like routine, so try getting her to bed at the same time every night. I talked to my doctor because I also didn't want to start any "bad habits", and she informed me that you can't hold them, love them, and enjoy them too much at this stage. 6 months is when they start putting together that Mommy or Daddy will come in and hold them when they cry. My son is really starting to kick his legs when he gets excited, so it's hard to keep a blanket on him - much less be swaddled. Maybe she would like it if she slept in a warmer outfit? You have a lot of advice - good luck - I hope you find something that works! It does get better, we now get 7 1/2 hours of sleep at a stretch!