How to Get Little Boy to Play by Himself

You definitely need to give him time for himself. Until then he will never learn to play alone. I usually set up a craft for my 3 year old son. Playdoh, crayons and paper, a sticker book, etc. He sits at the table while I get some things done. Also, you could allow him to watch more educational tv (Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow). My son has learned so much from these shows. Good luck. I know it's a hard age to deal with. :)

Hi K. -

Our 16 m/o son is like that sometimes. It was really bad a couple of months ago but he's gotten better about it over time.

I guess this is the time they really start experiencing social and separation anxiety. It was weird because he'd play by himself during the day, if I was watching him and nearby. But as soon as my attention was diverted, he'd complain and get all clingy. What worked best for me was this: I bought him a new toy - nothing expensive, just a cute simple toy. I also cleared out one of my lower cabinets in the kitchen, one that I didn't mind him playing in. When I would cook, I'd let him play with the new toy, but only then. That way, he began to associate the new toy with "playing alone" time. Then I started placing the toy in the cabinet instead of giving it to him while he watched me put the toy in the cabinet. That made his day because now he finally had a cabinet he could play in without getting yelled at! So he'd play with the cabinet, and the toy, and eventually he'd just sit on the floor nearby and play while I cooked. This eventually morphed into laundry time, where he would play as long as I was around. If I disappeared from sight, he'd just look around until he found me, then he was okay again and would just go play.

Nowadays, he may follow me around while I collect clothes for laundering, but he's not so underfoot that I can't do anything with him nearby. As far as cooking goes, unless he's really hungry he pretty much will play off to the side by his cabinet.

I should also mention that I'm a SAH mom too and we spend all our time together. There are no cousins near his age or anything, nor do any of my friends have kids his age. About three months ago we started letting him play in our church's nursery while we attended service. There are about eight other kids his age there, and I've seen a change in him since he started attending the nursery. He seems to be more confident and independent. That has helped greatly with his "alone time".

Hope this helps!

Sounds like you are doing a great job but perhaps you are devoting too much time to him....he needs to establish some alone time just as you need it.
Maybe just start out in the same room, him playing, you reading or doing a craft, if he wants your attention let him know it is for him to play and you will play as soon as YOU are finished with your project.
You have to be strict in keeping away for longer periods of time even when he crys because he might be unwilling to have another child enter the picture.
Soon he will adjust and play by himself, it's just that you and him together all the time is all he knows for now.

That is a tough spot to be in! At two they aren't always mature enough to really "play" by themselves. My son was (and still is) crazy active at two and very independent. My daughter who is almost two, is going through the same thing. I would suggest while you are cooking dinner to pull his chair to a safe distance near you and let him sit and play with books, play-doh, little snacks etc. If he will sit on the floor you could let him play with pots and pans. Maybe if you include him as a "helper" he wont feel so left out...ex. let him "fold" towels while you do laundry. Adding another child for us worked out really well. Mine are two years apart and have started to show signs of boredom when one or the other are sleeping or at school! It gets better and they become more independent as time moves on!

Hi K., Getting a 2 year old to play by themselves is not going to happen. Instead, set aside toys that he likes and allow him to play with them ONLY when you are doing such jobs. Certain pots and pans with wooden spoons when you are cooking for example. Play music and try to get him to beat the "drums" to the beat. This will make chores much more pleasurable for both of you. Good luck.

Hi K.,

You sound like a GREAT Mom!
Relax, Don't worry. For now he is what he is supposed to be, a Mommy's boy, an only child, and still a baby who has a wonderful Mom who shows him plenty of love and attention. Talk to him and let him know what you expect of him. You may not be able to understand him, however he can understand you. Encourage him to play alone. Find some toys for him to play with when you are doing household chores and pots and pans with spoons(if you can stand the noise) when you are in the kitchen. In time he will play alone. As long as you let him know what is going on I think he will be fine, especially, when the new baby brother or sister arrives.
Much success to you and your family!!!

Love, peace and joy,
S.

I like the idea of a gradual working up and enrolling his help, which will pay off when baby 2 comes around. Be sure you aren't "giving in" because that will never sort itself out. Set a timer maybe and say when this goes off we'll do ______. And keep re-setting the lost minutes having to put him back wherever it is he was playing. I don't think at 2 he'll get that concept, but if he fusses the whole time and the timer goes off, you've not gotten anything done and he "wins". As I recall, 2 gave way to a more independent 3, which has its own challenges! Good luck!

HI I am in the EXACT same situation. I have a wonderful 13 month old daughter who is totally attached to me since I do have the time, like you, to devote to her most of the time. But I get nothing done but at nap time etc...I have started with dinner. I tell her I am going to make dinner and I leave her in the family room (which is gated) she screams at the gate and cries, so I go in the room and redirect her to a favorite toy etc. This is starting to work. I can at least get half of dinner done now before she has a total meltdown or I just cant listen to it anymore. Its hard I can totally relate. Just try a little at a time. Also sometimes I do bring her in the kitchen and give her toys/books to play with while I make dinner...good luck I will be reading other mom's suggestions as well.

My son likes to help with things.. it usually takes longer to do them, but he delights in learning and watching and doing and I think it's good for him to see.

My son's 2 and he'll 'help' me mop with his own mop, help vacuum.. etc... dust. WE have little songs too that we'll sing while we do the things.

Sometimes he's whiney and I just hold him then while I do things.

there is a light at the end of the tunnel... Around 3 or 4 your "mommas boy" will be more attracted to daddy. Daddy does COOL stuff and he will want to do it also...
Is hubby home when your cooking? If so then it should be HIS enjoyment to occupy the munchkin while you whip up a tasty dinner... If not, then munchkin is old enough to stand on a chair by the table and "help" . My almost 2 yr old loves putting stuff on the table... I will pull out all the dishes that we need to set the table and hand them to him one at a time and he will put them on the table for me. :-) And its training him for his future take over of the setting the table duties.
Give him a plastic bowl and spoon and let him "cook" with play food.
He is used to having mommys whole attention and that is normal at that age. But I totally understand the whole wanting a bit of alone time to concentrate on what your doing... I have 3 kids and they are all kept busy in the kitchen when I'm cooking and daddys not home. They even rip up letuce for the salad... Yes, some gets thrown around, but at least they arn't screaming... lol
If daddy is home then he has them sit down and read a book... since he's also unwinding from his work day. Its nice to have a bit of other adult supervised peace and semi quiet...

Hi K.,
What you might be able to do is sit down with him and start a play project......lining up little cars, making a tower out of blocks, playdough, whatever he is interested in. Then once he is started on it say "I'll be right back, show me how much you can do before I return. Then leave. Come back in a couple of minutes so he knows you are there. Make the time graduly longer. Make it a game, kids like that. Plus put some fun kids music on while he is playing that might capture his attention too and not focus on you or you could even have the TV on for back ground noise.
Good Luck
M.