How Much Time Do You Spend Entertaining Your Child/children?

I have a girl and a boy. they play together very well. not so much wrestling. they would watch tv all day if allowed.. or play video games.. I set a limit. then they have to go do something else. but usually it is a pretend game.. she is the owner he is a dog... or some such thing..

hub watches tv..

I think it's important to let dad spend time with the kids however he wants to. There's nothing wrong with chilling on the couch and playing TV/video games, especially if your kids get plenty of activity during the rest of the week.
And I also agree with your husband in that healthy, smart kids don't need to be "entertained" all the time. They can and should be using their imagination, playing hide and seek, building forts (yes, even in the house, with blankets, cushions and cardboard) stuff like that. When I was a kid we NEVER played with adults! We played with each other, outside (yes, even in the snow) and we watched TV. My kids get more adult attention than I ever did (arts and crafts, cooking, stuff like that) and I liked taking them places but I rarely ever played with them.
I think if your kids are getting bored you need to spend LESS time setting things up for them, not more, they need to work on using their imagination and natural curiosity and problem solving skills.

Mymission is right -- tweak what you're asking, and your husband needs to readjust his wording, too: You don't "entertain" your children like you're a pair of performers.

Here's what I see in the post: You enjoy the interactive kinds of things--crafts, board games, etc. Dad does not really do those things with the kids; instead when it's "his" time with them (because as you note, this comes up when you "want to go run an errand or something"), Dad is not into the interactions but lets the boys watch TV or play video games, period. Dad doesn't suggest, "OK, TV goes off at four and you guys choose--Risk or Sorry," like you might. When you mention that idea to husband, he's saying effectively that "down time IS the same thing as TV time."

He needs to learn to see that what YOU do with the boys is not "entertaining them" but playing WITH them. You said you enjoy it! It's not a chore. And you need to learn that what HE does with the boys is not what you would choose...but unless the amount of time is excessive, it's not wrong either.

I think a key question to me is: Does dad watch TV with them? Play video games along with them? Ever? If he does-- great. If they are joking and talking about the shows, or playing together on video games, it's still interacting, but it's his style and not your style. Both styles are OK.

However, if dad basically plops the kids down and then goes off and never watches alongside them, or plays a video game with them -- yeah, I'd have a problem with that scenario. I guess the question there is: Does he consider it "entertaining them" if he plays with them? Because it's just not; it's being together and sharing stuff. And the shared fun can indeed include some amounts of TV and movies and video games. But if dad just lets the screens babysit, and says that is defined as down time, and doesn't have stuff he does do with them -- maybe it's time to think about finding him some things to do with his boys, like scouting (if they don't do it already) or hiking or building stuff or whatever.

Now, if dad already is involved -- maybe he's participating in school stuff with them or takes them camping or is involved in scouts or church activities with the boys etc. -- that's great and I'd be unconcerned about the occasional TV time.

I think you are basically on the same wave length but you need to tweak your question. It's what they are doing during down time that bothers you.
You need to set limits on TV time and gaming time to something you both can live with. It's ok to find something to do that doesn't involve going somewhere or completely using media as a babysitter or entertaining as a parent. You can compromise. You are closer to a solution than you think.

the tv should NOT be on all the time.
but i think it's a perilous parenting technique to take responsibility for entertaining one's kids. at no time in a life is a person better equipped to entertain themselves than during childhood. modern children are robbed of this precious resource all too often.
khairete
S.

From the way you have described it, when you spend time with your kids, you are being a model for how they can spend time on their own. You have taught them how to draw, cut, build, play by the rules, be creative, read, etc. Perhaps your intentions were to have them go beyond a slugfest that erupts when they play by themselves, (I remember my brother and my interactions as kids!), but your have brought routine into their lives and it has enriched you and your kids.

Hubby works a lot and has homework because he is taking classes. He's tired and needs downtime. I've been there, too. I hope he finishes his classes soon so that he will have more free time in his life.

This weather has been horrible. I've got cabin fever in a bad way when I have time beyond my work to notice.

I think you both are right. the older boys should be able to "entertain" themselves when you need to step out of the house, and they should be doing something other than watching T.V.

Do an experiment. Next time when you leave, put out playdoh or art materials or a board game, and see if they watch T.V. or they use what you have put out, or if they do both simultaneously, or whether they just do something else. Try to cultivate their own ability to pick better choices. I've heard of jars with ideas of what to do when bored. The thing is that you haven't said the kids are bored. You've said you are bored. They may not reach out to the jar unless as a family you decide to restrict the T.V.

Sounds like the only time the kids get to watch T.V. or play video games is when you leave. Maybe that's their opportunity to use that equipment that has been provided to them. You could look at it that way.

When I have work to do, my DD typically starts out drawing or creating something, then role playing with the thing she created, reading a bit, interacts with the cat, and if I still have to work, then she will ask to watch a video. I guess she's earned it. She usually doesn't just watch, though. She usually draws or creates while it is playing. She's an only, and that does impact some of this issue.

Best wishes.

For starters, I do not entertain my kids. Play with them? Not a whole lot. We have outings about 5 days a week, usually out anywhere from 1-4 hours. We read a book after lunch, and I might do one other thing with them, like play a game.

They watch about 2 hours of TV a day, and my oldest probably plays on her computer or tablet about 30 minutes. She usually reads for a few hours too, while my son rescues something.

My kids play a lot more video games and things on hubby's watch. They all need downtime, and I know my kids LOVE this downtime with dad.

I think boredom is important. It sparks creativity. We have mostly down time in our house, and my kids are always surprising me with the things they just create on their own.

So you have 2 boys and then the newborn? At those ages, they should be able to play or entertain themselves really without you intervening. I have a 5 year old son. We read or do homework for about 20 minutes a day, practice violin together for about 30 minutes a day, and hang out/cuddle, play on the computer for about an hour a day. Sometimes we play games or my husband builds with him. My husband will do karate with him a few days a week for about 10 minutes or so. I am not into arts and crafts but sometimes we will do something like make cards or hats for the cats. As far as going places, he does both karate and violin so after school we do errands and have an activity for about 45min-1 hour 5 days a week. Hope that helps.

Kids don't have to be entertained, all the time.
Kids also need to learn, HOW to be self-reliant.
But kids also need, INTERACTION, with their parent or others. Its just life.
So even while just sitting and watching tv, for example, I am interacting with my kids. They are chatty, they are curious, I chat with them... and about them and they communicate and interact, well. They are not just couch potatoes, even if just watching tv. They are doing other things as well, not just only, watching, tv.
Both me and my Husband, are interacting, all together.
And even when their is downtime or "nothing" to do, well my kids are doing things... because they are good at "entertaining" themselves, too.
They are not idle.

I don't view it as "entertainment".

I do think there should be a balance with the down time they have with tv, gaming, etc and spending time with both parents together as a family and with each parent one on one.

When my daughter was a baby and up through elementary school, my husband was on the road a lot and it was just the 2 of us. I made sure we had a lot of interaction with friends, neighbors, one on one and just chilling out. When hubby got home, he always made special time for just the 2 of them. He'd take her golfing, fishing, put put golf, lunch dates and so on.

Bottom line, they grow up so fast, try to enjoy all the moments.

I do spend a lot of time taking my kids entertaining places. We do at least one outing every day that they aren't in school. (I personally would go crazy spending a whole day at home.) I do not really play with them or actively entertain them myself when at home, although when they were little I did a little bit. Anyway, on the weekend they usually have some sort of structured activity in the morning (sports, church, etc), we do an outing in the afternoon (museum, zoo, tobogganing), and they are free to spend the evening playing video games, watching tv etc.

We are a hockey family, so we spend quite a bit of time ice skating, hockey practice/games, and practicing hockey in our basement. If you want to keep your kids very busy and off the couch, sign them up ice skating classes and/or hockey. Although hockey is a huge commitment, it is so worth it. Spending time at the rink ice skating at open skate or doing sticks and pucks will keep the kids busy and in shape. Not only do they make friends, but it teaches them responsibility and the rewards of hard work. Our hockey stuff goes on about 6 days out of a week. We also do homework and reading daily. We play board games at least once a week. I take my preschooler shopping or running errands daily. Once a week, we swim too. My kids are rarely bored. Some days, we have friends over for the whole day and if they ask, I will do a craft or play a game and entertain the friends too. My kids are involved with helping me cook, clean and do laundry too. They also help with caring and walking our dog. When we all need some down time, my kids play their video games and I chill on the couch.

I'm with your husband. I spend plenty of time on my feet, working and doing housework, and my girls go to school and have other activities during the week, like your boys, they are very active. We ALL like to veg out on the weekend. We catch up on our favorite shows and watch sports. What's wrong with that?
If YOU are bored then go out and do something! Get together with friends or take a class or go to the gym or something. A mom needs to learn how to "entertain" herself as well, right?

Your husband's answer doesnt make sense. If kids dont need to be entertained, then why does the TV/game need to be on the whole time you are gone? Not sure how old your kids are but make a time limit and tell them they need to turn the TV off after one hour, no matter which parent is home. Tell husband he doesnt need to entertain them, just to supervise them.

I don't have time to sit and play with the kids. Kids entertain themselves 99% of the time. We do have family nights during the week when we're home and we spend that time interacting for a couple of hours that evening.

Otherwise the kids are coming home from school, going to tumbling, dance, piano, and any other classes they have. When we get home we have dinner and if they happen to have any homework what so ever they work on it. They don't usually have any except spelling words or a sheet they didn't get finished during class. No assigned busy time homework.

They play in their rooms, play with each other, watch some TV, or play on the computer if there's time for them to get involved with the few games they like to play.

They have full lives and don't need me or my hubby to entertain them.

I have really young kids (My oldest being 6) what I do,Is I play with them for 30 min to an 1 hour or when ever there bored. I take them out to the Mall, for a few hours, maybe Chuckie cheeses.It depends on he day.

We took our kids places together, on the weekends as a family. We hardly ever went places as you suggested during the week. I have always worked part time, and I would play with my kids at home, or go to the pool, or maybe a movie during the weekday, but I see no need in spending a bunch of money just to entertain your kids. They can read, and come up with something to do on their own. That is what gets their imagination working. Did your husband really say that the kids should be playing video games, and watching TV for hours on end? Maybe they just want to hang out at home and do nothing for a while, since it sounds like your husband is away a lot, and I don't see anything wrong in that.