How Much Is Too Much - Activities?

My rule of thumb is WHENEVER we start making excuses to stay home, or we feel like we're missing out on something else, it's time to drop something.

Interestingly enough, it's not always (or even usually) the activity that gets missed that is the "one too much", but rather another (lesser liked/loved) activity that sets us up for being tired/wanting to stay at home during a beloved activity.

We homeschool... so we do WAY more activities than most people (so using our schedule for comparison undoubtedly would look ridiculous), because we have an extra 8-10 hours in every single day. Our year round schedule has art, music, gymnastics, aikido, breakdance, and swimming every week (in addition to school work, and seminars, and field trips). Then we also do 1 seasonal sport every season (soccer, snowboarding, baseball, and swimming). On top of those, we have "school break" camps (aka the camps that are offered during public school breaks). We've been trying to work in chess & drama & boyscouts & lacrosse & basketball for 2 years, but none have worked schedule wise. (Drama, instead we do as camps... but chess and boyscouts we'd REALLY like to do, but just haven't figured out the time for it).

See? Sounds nuts, I'm sure. For US, however, it's a relaxing schedule. Kiddo is out of the house in classes or sports taught by another adult between 1-3 hours a day. We spend about $150 a month on those classes in total, so there's no financial stress either. Public/Private school families though, have to figure out ways to do activities AFTER having their kids be gone for 8+ hours a day (I say 8-10, because of drive time and many who are in daycare until 5pm), AND get HW done, AND have family time. Which at least, is what we had to do when kiddo was in away-school. We could MAYBE do 1 outside activity instead of 7 (not including camps and seminars). And we'd REALLY like to be doing 12, but as I said.. right now those extra 5 just don't "fit".

We have 3 girls and our rule is 2 activites each at a time. Until the last 2 years they all took dance and swim. This was easy enough because we could all swim on the same night and dance was on the same day, just at different times. We tell the girls they can do 2 activities and we pick one (swim) because they all love it and we're passionate about them learning to swim since we will be putting in a pool soon. The second activities are soccer (middle) , volleyball (oldest) and dance (baby).

Depends on the kid, and the age of the child. The activities usually bump up at about age 12. Let your son guide you for the most part. I think it is a good idea to stay busy but not to the point that you are stressed trying to juggle everything. Stress will come out in being over tired, cranky, not wanting to go at all. Honestly, 2 activities sounds pretty good to me. If your son comes to you and asks to be in more then why not try another?

And if too many activities gives you stress.......that counts, and then it's too many!

My basic rule is 1 activity per child, but it's gotten stretched a little. My oldest is 10. She takes tumbling 1 day a week as her "big" activity. She will also play Volleyball (it's only 1 day a week practice, 1 game per week, and only 6 weeks long). She also does choir b/c its only 1 day per week right after school, so it's not a big deal. That seems to work for her and that's all she does. When volleyball is over, she'll just have choir and tumbling b/c both of those are year round. My middle child does football as his main activity. That's 2 nights a week practice + 1 game on Saturday. It's tough during the season, but the season is only 4 months long. He'll also do choir (again, 1 day a week right after school, so easy) and he does scouts b/c it's such a good program and that's only 1 day every other week. It all seems manageable and not too much. My youngest is only 2, so his activities are going to his sibilings stuff for now!

Honestly, my kids (8 yr old twin girls) want to do more than we have time for doing. Some of the things are seasonal though and only effect the schedule for a short time. My daughters are currently in dance class, acting class, and they just started music lessons. They plan on playing socccer again once it starts back up so they will have 4 activities for a few weeks.

When we went to the school open house this week they begged me to sign up for "Mad Science" after school which is only an hour a day for 8 weeks, but it is also on Monday when they now have music lessons and dance class. They were convinced they could fit it all in!

We are definetly very busy, but at least it isn't as bad as my sister's kids. My nephew just graduated from high school where he was on the wrestling team, golf team, football team, and soccer team (he also played on the basketball team in earlier years). In addition to that he was in Jazz band playing sax and also in his own "garage band" playing the drums. He did, however, graduate with honors and just started college last week on a football scholarship.

So yes- it all depends on the kid.

I believe one sport and one additional activity is fine. I have friends who allow their kids to do two plus sports , in addition to other activites. They never have family time or time to just play and be a kid. Also it's important to find what your kid likes and not push into things you want to do. I think your on target. I know it's hard to deal with the ones who kids are in everything. But if you asked their kids, I bet they wish they had a lot more down time.

my kids aren't that old yet. but my husband and I have talked about this subject a lot. He grew up with two other brothers. all three of them played two sports at a time. they never ate dinner at home and never all together as a family! he regrets it very much. It is very important to us and for our kids well being that family time comes first! I would evaluate everything and ask are we spending too many nights a week out? What is really best for my child.

I teach private music lessons. I have some students who are so over-scheduled with activities that they just don't put in the effort any more. I'll have a mom come ask me why little Susie isn't first chair flute in her middle school band. The answer I had to give one mom is ... because little Susie has flute lessons on Mondays, basketball on Tuesdays, riding lessons on Wednesdays, gymnastics on Thursdays, swimming on Fridays & soccer on Saturdays. For the most part, these kind of students still like band & taking lessons ... but isn't the point of lessons to excel at an activity? Why waste the money & time (plus the teacher's time) if the drive just isn't there? Susie had the potential to be a fantastic flutist. Any kid that can take on that much & not just fall apart is obviously a driven kid. But you have to give them some balance. Give them some time in the week to just be a kid. And in the "down" time, you'll see what activity they gravitate to on their own. If Susie picks up her flute to practice (on her own without your suggesting it) more often than not, then you now where her interests lie.

Our family rule is one sport/activity at a time. With 3 kids playing JUST soccer (their choice) we still have practices 4 nights per week. I can't imagine trying to fit in other clubs or lessons in between. We eat dinner together most nights, even if it's at 8pm...that's important to us, as parents.
My kids have time to come home, veg out a little, snack, do homework and PLAY (what a concept) before heading out to practice. We offer other activities in between soccer season, but they really like the 6-8 week break in between seasons and have never wanted to do basketball, dance or gymnastics in between, even just to try them. My kids have expressed how they feel sorry for kids that are in multiple activities, "because they don't get to play." And, given that my kids are happy and seem well adjusted, we are on the right track for us. So, do whatever makes your family happy.

This year when my son was in baseball he had a team mate who also did track and basketball. There were games that overlapped and the kid was on a constant treadmill. I asked the parents why so much at one time, they said "he wanted to do them all". This kid was not happy. I'm sure he did want to do it all, but it is up to the parents to strike a balance, a kid doesn't know what his cut-off is. When I was working in a high end children's boutique the moms always shopped without the kids becasue they were at violin, piano, sports,after school activities. These kids were so over scheduled when I actually did see one they looked exhausted. Mind you I had moms telling me that their 3 month old is in a music appreciateion class for 2 hours with the nanny and had scheduled playdates later in the day. 3 months?? You know what your kid can handle. My son is 7 this year it's baseball again, and boy scouts and......done!