How Much Does Your Husband Work?

I don't have a husband, and I don't have financial freedom. So, I would be *elated* to have a husband who was a nice guy and worked hard to provide for my family.

I go to work around 7 or 7:30. I usually get home between 6 - 6:30 and after my daughter goes to bed (around 9ish) I get back on the computer to finish up some work (or login to mamapedia!!!!).

That's not late. My husband is military and works from 5:30 am to at least 7:30 every night. As late as 9 pm is not uncommon. He's gone all week at least once a month and then deploys for 6-10 mos. From my perspective you have it pretty easy.

My husband leaves the house no later than 6:30am and gets home between 6:30 and 7pm. I knew what I signed up for when I married him and yes it's hard but like you say, the extra money is nice and my husband makes pretty good money. You have to take the good with the bad.

While you are young (I'm assuming you guys are somewhere in the 20's or 30's) this is the time to work as much as possible to build that 401k or other retirement savings you have implemented. Working long, hard hours usually lasts a decade or two, and then you have lots of freed up time when you hit about my age.
My husband only works 4 hours a day now, and we are always trying to figure out what to do with the free time ;)
It seems like we all should be able to spend a lot more time with our kids when they are little, but it really is just the opposite. We provide for them, and it all pays off later when your kids are adults and you enjoy them and they love us for all the hard work we did educating them and getting them ready for life. Your free time when you are older is spent with the grandkids, that, my dear, is the payoff.

Mine travels 45 weeks a year. Gone Tuesday morning through Friday night. If it's international travel then Saturday to Saturday, then off again Tuesday morning.

No problem.

:)

We have a weekly alternating schedule. He works in two different kitchens (one he manages) plus for our pop-up restaurant. This business demands you work crazy hours. He works 3 double shifts a week, one longer single shift and has 3 days off, then the next week we both work for our own business from Sunday-Tuesday (typically only going home to take care of the kids from 3pm-8pm and then it's back to prep work) and he repeats the other schedule I described.

Basically he's not home at all from Wednesday afternoon until Saturday night, leaving right before 8am and getting home anywhere from 8-11pm each night (usually the latter).

For many years, though, he owned a pizza shop and he worked 6 days a week from 6am to at least 7pm. THAT was awful because the kids were so little, and it almost ruined our marriage. Even though he's basically working 3 part time jobs now with no benefits, it affords us a great deal of flexibility. In this economy, you do what you have to do.

Reading these responses makes me wonder if our culture condones more of a "live to work" attitude than a "work to live" one. I'd rather have less stuff and more time together, I think given the choice most of us would.

Mine is gone 5-6 days straight (all day, all night) and then home for 2 days. By day 6 I feel like I want to commit myself, lol! I would LOVE it if my husband had your husbands schedule.

55 to 60 hours a week. Like you, I am getting used to the hours ( had current position for 1.5 years). It has been an adjustment but financially we are much better off.

I would be VERY grateful if my husband was home everyday at 6-6:30. Mine works Mon thru Fri out of town every week. Sometimes he even has to work thru the weekend. :(

But that is our life and we manage. Makes us appreciate the time we do get together more. :)

We run our own company from home. It is the 2 of us so we pretty much hit it 24/7. Hubby is the one who does negotiating, bidding, consulting.. I do all the Quickbooks, AP/AR, taxes, payroll,finances, travel, etc.

My husband is usually on the computer with emails by 2am until about 4am then back online working by 6am. On a normal day, he may go to bed around 7 after dinner but be up by 2am like clockwork. It is amazing at how many people actually answer emails at 3am and are up working as well.

He is on a 6:15 am flight at least monthly, which means he leaves home by 4:30 am, up by 3 to complete emails and get on the road and gone 3 days/2 nights. He has a lot of other air travel as well. We both do travel work.

We basically nap. My night routine is bed by 10, up by 2-3, sleep again 3-6 and up again. I can't tell you when I last slept more than 3 hrs at a time. Our daughter is 17 so we do not have the extra issues there are to handle with little ones.

I could not possibly do my job with a little one under my feet. It is too much.. I also substitute teach about 1-2 days a week and actively volunteer for the high school with fundraising.

When he was working for someone else in the same industry, he had the same work ethic. Work hard, be rewarded well. At least with us running our company, he is only out of town 4-6 nights a month vs 2-3 nights a week.

There is a huge financial reward of being your own boss and no one owning you but to keep it up, it is a lot of HARD disciplined work. The work never stops but is is hugely rewarding financially as well as being proud of something we built on our own.

Sounds like your hubby is working hard for your family. I wish you well.

Mine leaves at 6:30 and gets home around 6:00 to 6:30. He also plays golf just about every weekend (late spring to early fall) but he goes out early and is home by 11:30 am.
I don't give him a hard time about the golf. His job is stressful and it REALLY helps him relax.
When only one person is working it takes a lot of time (and income) to support a family. We have one in college, one in high school and one in middle school.
I hope that the two of you are able to spend some quality time together most evenings alone? For us it's an hour or so of TV after the kids have gone to bed. We usually have a glass of wine and watch something funny (nothing serious or depressing or long on a weeknight!) And then, you know, maybe a little something else, wink ;)
Also, when your husband is gone so much it's really important to take some time for yourself on the weekends. Go for a walk or to a movie with a friend, take an exercise class, whatever YOU like to do. It makes a HUGE difference!
ETA: I'm not sure what part of LA you are in but here in Northern California there is no WAY a schoolteacher's salary would support a family! All the teachers I know with kids have working spouses, or they at least get child support from an ex, there's just no other way (unless you are living with relatives or you are a trust fund kid I guess?)

That is not late.
It is just that you are comparing yourself/your husband to your friends who are Teachers and come home early.
Which, that is not... the norm.
Hence you feel like pitying yourself... and cannot realize that your Husband's hours and meetings etc., are actually the norm. Per a white collar, job.
And yes, working at home too.
Or, would you rather him be not at home and having to go to the office at all hours of the night... to trouble shoot and continue working... which is what my Husband has had to do as well as my friends... because they are in the IT business and are developers and/or administrators.
Their jobs entail, being available at all hours. At times. Many times.
Plus, my Husband was going to school (has gotten his degree since) and working a full time job... and when not at work, he was at home studying... constantly, on the computer day and night 7-days a week.
It was, important.
But, with whatever time he had "free"... he either spent it on our kids.... or on himself. To deflate or to have a hobby.
Meanwhile, I was like a single parent.
But his job and education, beget more opportunities and advancement.

Your Husband's hours... are really normal.
And not bad at all.
And he is working hard.
It does not seem he is just wasting his time.
And you are both able to have financial freedom.
And for your kids.
Many Husbands who work hard or have hard hours, do "miss" their kids and family. They are not, remiss in those feelings.
I never made my Husband feel guilty about his work or school schedule or needs or responsibilities.
But yes, it was NOT easy and yes, I had many cranky days. Because, I did everything else, in the home and family and with the kids maintaining everything.

120 on average (per week).

Bare minimum of 80 hours.

Not because he has to. He's salaried. He's just also a database engineer / architect / developer... and that's what those guys do. Work constantly.

My dad was military, he worked crazy schedules, too.... But we had a VERY close family, and he and my mum have always been crazy in love / supportive of each other.

My (soon to be ex) husband, however... Not so much. It's not the hours someone works, in my experience, it's how the spend the time they have.

My husband doesn't work. I wish he did.

I work from 8.00 am to 5.30 pm. Soon I will be adding an hour's commute. I also have to travel around once a month.

Mine was repeatedly unemployed...that's one reason he's now my ex.

Salaried jobs do not have regular hours. I've worked alot of hours myself at some jobs. I also made very good money. That's how it works.

Hubby has a 25 minute commute each way, these are his actual hours most of the year, except usually a few more during December, and theres the 2 or 3 weeks a year when he works from 8:30 to8:00 or 9:00 pm

M - day off
T - 10-8
w - 11-8
T- 8:45 - 6
F - 11-9
S - 10-9

I'd love to have hubby home all day on Saturday.

My husband is out of the house by 7:30am, and if the kids are up, he eats breakfast with them (although the past two mornings he has been gone by 7, and hasn't seen my youngest in 2 days), and then is home around 7:30pm. Bedtime for my youngest (almost 2) is between 7 and 7:30, so there are quite a few days he doesn't make it home. I am a stay at home mom, so those can turn into very long days. I do enjoy being home with the kids, and I know he works the long hours because it is his responisiblity at his job and that affords me to stay home with the kids. It is difficult, but it is worth it. Very rarely does he work on the weekends, so it is nice to spend our family time together then.

My husband get's up at 5:00 a.m. He works until 7:00 at home, then comes up to shower when the kids and I are getting up. Then he jumps on the 7:45 bus. He is rarely home before 6:00 p.m. We eat dinner, do bedtime, then many nights he has additional work to do after the kids are in bed... I'd say 50% of the time he works from 8:00 p.m. to about 10:00 or 11:00 p.m.

That's when he's in town.... lately he's traveled a day or two (or more) each week...

But Saturdays and Sundays he's generally here and not working when the kids are awake.

My husband writes his and his employees schedules. He has 3 shifts and to be fair he distributes them equally. So he either works 7-5, 10-9 ish, or 3pm-12ish. He rarely has weekends off and its hit or miss on the holidays.

Just be thankful for what you have, which is a lot. A consistent schedule and time off is a blessing.

My husband and I both work. I used to leave the house at 6:30 and pick the kids up at 4:45. This meant my husband was on drop-off duty. My husband and my son are both procrastinators and would take forever for them to leave the house......so, it started getting to the point he wouldn't be home until after 7 because he was always late for work. Now, I get up earlier, get the kids ready and drop them off. Still get to work nearly as early as I did before......I get home, cook dinner, my kids are now picked up by my husband and they are home just before 6 - just in time for dinner to be served. Works better but it still annoys me that my husband was too irresponsible or whatever to get up early enough to get the kids out so he could be to work ontime. I tend to have to step in to get things done/scheduled/etc, etc.
So, my thoughts to you - sounds like your husband has a good head on his shoulders and is responsible and takes care of you and your family (not that you don't - that's not what I mean) - also sounds like you guys are a team. I'm having a pity party that my husband is more of an adult child so I am jealous of you!

Ummm, my husband is an executive chef for 3 restaurants. Which means, he gets up at 9 AM and leaves by 10. He doesn't get home until after 1 AM, and he works 6 days a week. (He's not exactly "functional" on that 7th day.)

I have plenty of freedom (and some extra cash) to do whatever I want with my 5YO son.

All I can say is, find something YOU enjoy for those "poor me" times, and you'll get used to it eventually.

Well you just enjoy that pity party over there. My husband works from 8:00 a.m. until 10:30 p.m. about 3 days a week and about 10 hours 2 days a week and that's if he has an assistant. They just took his assistant, so I am sure the 10 hours days will be gone.

If my husband were a school teacher, I would have to work the hours he didn't so we could pay the bills and put food on the table.

Unfortunately school teachers salaries here are enough for 1 person.

Let's see....
Last Tuesday he got home about 11:30 pm. Wednesday night, it was about 9:00 pm. Thursday, he left for work around 7:00 a.m and got in around 4:00 pm, but he had to go to bed by 8:00 pm because he had to leave for work on Friday morning around 5:30 a.m. He finished Friday around 3:00 and managed to squeeze in a round of golf down the street on his way home, so he got home around 7:00 pm. He was in bed by 8:30, because he had to BE at work at 7:00 am the next morning (actually, he flexes in 30 minutes early, so 6:30 am)--and that's after almost an hour commute... so he was UP at 4:45 a.m.
And generally, that's about normal for him. He isn't home for dinner at all a few nights a week, and when the kids are in school, he doesn't even SEE them a few days in a row (because they are gone before he gets up due to being up so late at work the night before).
He works a regressive shift (his shift starts earlier and ends earlier as the week progresses). It can be he// on his sleep. And it was really hard on me when the kids were little. I got no help at dinner or bedtime several nights in a row, AND I had to keep them quiet in the mornings before hubby got up.

After a while, you learn to accept what YOUR life is like and quit worrying about how everyone else makes it work. I'm not trying to say you aren't entitled to feel worn out. Of course you are. But not because your friends "have it easier". Plan some "me" time during the day if you need to. Pick one day of the week that you refuse to feel like you "accomplished" some big thing, and just hang with your kids that day. It's ok to do that sometimes, ya know?
Oh... and mine rarely is off for Christmas or Thanksgiving or New Year's or Memorial Day or July 4th or any other holiday. If his "regular" off days happen to be a holiday, great. If not, then he is working. His "regular" days off this year are Sunday and Monday. He has NEVER had Saturdays off since we have been married. We've been married going on 16 years.

I often have my own little pity party over here too!! I'm actually so used to my husband being gone that if he were home at 3:45pm he would probably just get in my way :) I'm pretty much alone Monday-Friday. My husband is in sales, and he is the director for the whole east coast for his company - so, lots of travel. If he happens to make it home one night, great. But I don't count on it. Ever. And if he is home one night during the week he will eat with us and then it's back on the computer, until well into the night.

Sometimes if he has to go to the west coast (company is based there) he'll leave Sunday afternoon. Those are the times I hate. But that is usually only at the end of each quarter, so 4 times/year.

So no, you are not alone. But you're still allowed a pity party once in awhile :)

My husband routinely works 50-50 hours per week.
He's home by 3:00 at the latest...he prefers to start at 4:00--yes, that's AM!

My husband leaves the house no later than 5am. He gets home early on Mon-Wed-Fri (his days to pick up our daughter from school) about 5pm. But Tues and Thurs are his long days. He is gone from 5am until 6pm (sometimes later). He also travels a lot for work. In fact he is in Vegas right now for work. But his job is what provides us a good life, so I try not to complain.

My husband is a truck driver and luckily now he has a local driving job but in the past, he was over the road and would be gone sometimes 2 weeks at a time. Talk about being a single parent! It was so lonely and stressful I hope that never happens again. Nowadays he us usually working 12 hr days but goes in early so is home by 3. Im extremely grateful!

My husband works 12 hours a day 7days a week in another city, sometimes he pulls 3 doubles In a row. He usually has 5 days off a month but lately it's been 2 or 3 days every month and a half.

It's really really hard

Hubby works Fri-Sunday. He leaves at 5am and gets home at 715pm. But he's home all day Mon-Thurs.

I am usually home by 330 but also get to work at 630.

My husband has a very strong work ethic, and is a work-a-holic..He has held many different jobs where he gets up very early, and gets home late. Now, thankfully his office is at home. He does travel a few days each month, but it works. I would rather him home then working late elsewhere, but when it was reversed we managed. It was hard, but I had to get myself in a routine, and with taking care of our son, the hours seemed to go by faster. 6-630 isn't bad, either. My husband often wouldn't come home til 8 then do work on the computer. You just gotta go with it, and do the best you can.

M-F..... 7-4:30, but hebusually goes in for 6, but he can't stay past 5:30.. No matter what, he is the 1 who picks up our kids from daycare, I dint get off till 6:30

Hubs used to work crazy hours (upwards to 70 a week when you included all the time he was on home) and was always working on the weekend. I hated every minute of it - lol - and he was miserable. He took at big pay cut, a new job and now leaves around 7am every morning and is back home around 4:30 - I stopped complaining. :-)

my husband works 6-4 and I work 8-4:30, so luckily we're home about the same time, but he's always gone before I get up and goes to bed before I do.

My husband leaves at 5:30 and get's home around 5:30 or 6. The teachers at the school I work rarely leave before 4pm.

My husband goes in to work early (like 6am) and then comes home between 5 to 5:30pm. Some days he comes home at 4:30 but that is rare. He does not work much at home except before a presentation when he needs to prepare. He travels about once a month (for 2 to 5 days). I love it that he comes home so early. But in order to do this he does have to get up very early and leave before I'm even up most days.

Your friends' husbands are unusual... And I thought teachers actually work at home all the time. Don't your friends' husbands have to plan, correct papers etc? I always hear teachers say they work a ton of hours and on the vacations etc. Anyway, my husband's hours vary but he's very very rarely home before 7pm. Typically it's 7:15ish and that's a vast improvement over when he was working ~70 hours a week so of course that meant weekends. And he's salaried so no OT pay. Also, I'm really the primary breadwinner as I work FT too and get paid a lot more. So when he wasn't even home for dinner most of the time, I was like a single parent. The fact that he's now home as early as 7:15 and not working at all on weekends is very unusual in our 8 years of marriage. Hope all these responses show you that you have it great!!

I am glad that you posted this! I have been having the same issues. And then I find myself angry and resentful of his 'freedom' (?) or rather change of scenery? Mine is a business owner. States he will be home at a certain time, an dusually is home 2 -3 hours later. Says he is taking a certain day off, but is usually gone to the office anyways to catch up. I actually look forward to the days when he is out of town becasue we (myself and kids) are not waiting for him to show up or not. Boy, do I sound like an ungrateful stay-at-home mom!

My husband has been in sales, 100% commission only, for 13 years. He gets up at 6am and is out of the house usually by 7. He is usually home between 5-6 on a usual day. But on slow days, he will cut out early and we will go to a movie or something before the kids get home. Sometimes, even if he gets home at 6, he will have dinner and family time, and then get on his laptop to finish emails or paperwork. But, we NEVER work on the weekends. That is family time. He is good about not going to happy hours and out with friends, his family is his priority and he's good about being here when the kids are. =)

he leaves at 630 and is home by 330.. his office is 5 minutes away.

My husband works 5 jobs and I have one full time job (I work split shift) so I can pick up the kids and work from home the rest. We are doing what it takes to get the bills paid.

My husband works about the same hrs. He used to work 14 hr days about 6 days a week. We had more money, but i missed him! Your husbands schedule sounds pretty normal to me.

For the last 3 years as an aircraft mechanic, my husband has worked 6 days a week from 4:30 pm to 3:00 am. He finally gets to sleep anywhere from 5:30 am to 8 am. If he didn't get to sleep until 8 though, he will have to get up just in time to leave for work. If he went to sleep earlier than that we will have a little time with him. I am used to that by now, and don't think about it too much anymore. I just can't. This is our life. It would be nice if he had more "normal" hours, thats for sure. I know he doesn't like his hours either, but I am not going to sit around and complain about it, what does that solve?

my husband works long hours. When we lived in CA he worked 6am to 2pm and he was home and we had fun family time or he would take the kids swimming and I would get to relax. It was perfect! Now here in VA, he took a big pay cut so he has to work a lot of over time to make up for it. His regular shift is from 2pm to 10pm but 2-3 times a week he will work 6am to 10pm (for the over time). Right now he is doing some extra stuff and his shift is from 6am to 6pm 6 days a week. He is only off on Saturdays. So, I totally understand. It stinks but we do need the money right now and I can't go and find a regular job (I do photography part time) until Sept when both my kids are in school full time. Sometimes I wonder why I moved here.

Well last night he didn't get home till nine after leaving for work at five thirty. Normally he gets home at six or six thirty and always leaves around six in the morning.

I guess that is why he makes the big bucks! :p

He works 8:00 am - 5:30. (M-F) He literally works less then 5 minutes away, so he is him right when he gets off.

My husband works 40 hours a week, unless they have the rare overtime. He works 4 tens.. he is gone M- Th 4:15am-4pm. If he has to work over time its 8 hours and he is gone from 4:15am-2pm.

I love that he has the 3 day weekends and every holiday is paid (8 hours anyway, they don't pay the 10 hours it would normally be) if it falls during the week.

I totally feel for u since my husband doesn't get home most nights until 7:30pm. It can be a long day especially being a stay at home mom full time. I feel the best way to handle this is find an outlet for yourself like exercising when u can or running an errand when he does get home to have some down time for yourself.

My husband works about 45 hours, leaving at 4 p.m. and returning home 1 a.m. I leave for work 6 a.m. and return anywhere between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. And I bring work home on the weekends, as I teach high school English. Just wondering what subjects and grades hubby's friends have.

Typically 7:30-5:30. He travels 1-2x month. He's also deployed twice, so that's 15 hour days for 365 days...he didn't even get Christmas off. Look for the positive!

When he's here, my husband works from home, so he rolls out of bed at, say, 6:45am and is on his computer by 7am. Then because he's home, he never really leaves "work", he's regularly on his computer at 10pm. Yeah, he'll emerge from his office for lunch and dinner and maybe an hour or so to hang with the kids in the evening, but all in all, he puts in waaaay too many hours. He's also gone one or two nights each week on business and 4 -5 nights at a time every couple of months.

On the other hand, he makes a boatload of money, loves *LOVES* his job, loves his colleagues, loves his boss, gets 6 weeks of vacation a year and just got a raise today. So neither one of us is complaining. I do sometimes miss him, though...

I feel you. My husband is a physican and his hours are all over the place. He often has 32 hour shifts at the hospital, and then comes home and crashes (of course). So we can easily go three days in a row without seeing him. That means every meal, errand, playdate, and need of our boys is met by me. I find the hardest time is from dinner time until bedtime. The days can feel so long!

Mine usually works on the road from 10 or 11 to 4, then he does the afternoon pick up and activities (and sometimes dinner and bedtime), then does his paperwork from around 8 or 9 until midnight or later. So 9 hours a day, but with flexibility. I work in the morning for an hour before the kids go to school, then work 9-4 or 5, then in the spring and fall I teach or tutor 2-3 evenings a week and get home at 9 or 10, then I do another hour (or more) of my day job work. It's a long day, but I do work from home three days a week so I get to spend mornings and late afternoons with the kids and even if I'm working, we're at least all together.

he works 12 1/2 hour days M-W, & then another 4 on TH a.m.
This covers his 40hr week, but then he is on call 24/7 every 4th week.

seasonally he also works another 10 hours/week from March-Oct. Sometimes more.....

+ he has quite a few "little old ladies" he cares for, does chores/errands, etc. They can fill up his time, but he loves caring for them. :)

+ he is a jack-of-all-trades, master of many....& all of our friends know it. There are times when it's hard to find "fishing time"....as he calls it.

Mine goes to work at 8:30 and gets home at 9:30 most nights Monday through Saturday. He is supposed to be off on Wednesdays 3 days a month, but often works on Wednesdays. He gets 2 early days a week, meaning he gets home at 6:30, but if he has a late appointment, he has to stay late.

When we first got married 18 years ago, I hated his schedule, but through the years we've learned to make it work. He eats breakfast with the kids every day and takes them to school. He also takes off of work to take them to all of their appointments and any school events. When he is home, he helps with all housework, cooking, and is a very involved dad, so I have no complaints.

I am a high school teacher.