How Do You Find Time for Cleaning and Time for Fun?

That is something that I have been dealing with also. I also stay at home and I have a 4 year old and an 8 month old. I am trying to have a list, etc. Monday I do laundry, I through a load in whenever I get a minute. Then I try to be satisfied with that being the only "chore" (you know what I mean like house cleaning, because everything else you do during the day is sit around watch soaps and eat bon-bons :) then Tuesday, I do dishes and fold the laundry from monday. Wednesday I clean one bathroom while the kids take a bath, etc. etc. I also, have started vaccuming during the day and then that night when the kids go to bed mopping. It is alot easier with less feet pitter pattering around.
Another part to that is I am trying to be okay with the house not being pristine all the time. I understand your frustration though. It seems like a never ending task. Also, I don't think that it is bad at all to have someone come help, maybe cut her to once a month and she can do the deep cleaning. Or hire a babysitter to take the kids outside for a couple of hours every week or every other week so you can knock out the cleaning. I hope this helps and know you aren't the only one.

My advice is practical and i learned it from my (now deceased) grandmother, who taught me everything about keeping house and rearing kids:
1. pick up as soon as you do a task. don't leave it for later. if you take out the salt, put it immediately away.

2. once the house is in order and picked up don't let *others* come and undo your work. start teaching the children and coughtrainhubbytoocough to put everything where it belongs when he comes home or at least at a designated place instead of all over the place. (tell him how much happier it will make you, which in turn...well, you know. better mood)
3. don't let the kids take over the house. concentrate an area of the house for play, the other parts are to be left as is. start teaching the 2 1/2 year old to pick up after herself after playing and praise and encourage her and make a big deal when she does. (teach her).
4. use your personality and do the housework to your advantage. are you a typeA personality? then spend all day doing the house and bask in its cleanliness for whatever long until it dirties. do you prefer doing a little bit of housework every day? then put yourself on a schedule: monday laundry and tabletops, tuesday, thu and sat bathrooms and floors, etc. that way you do some every day and you maintain it a bit daily.
5. do your chores early in the morning rather than later. you will enjoy the day more and be happier seeing everything clean if you take the initiative to get it done early. you'll love walking around during the day smelling a clean house rather than going from room to room all day dreading it and saying: "ugh. i gotta do this room, everything is a mess".

remember that you live in arid-zona, so the dust is always going to win.
it is not dishonorable to get some help. it doesn't mean you can't handle the work and it doesn't mean you're being a diva. at the end of the day, what kind of mummy and wife do you want to be? a happy, well-adjusted mother who at the end of the day is still happy to be all those things and is calm and collected or a monster who is screaming at everybody because she is so tired and frustrated from the continuous drudgery that IS being a homemeaker ? of course, we know the answer. hey, staying at home is hard, hard work. rewarding? the best thing you will ever do? yes. but sleepless nights and colicky babies take precedence over a layer of dust on your blinds. choose wisely. the dust will be tomorrow again.
best advice i ever got from Mima? she told me: you are the only one who knows what your limits/boundaries are. you know what you can deal with and what will drive you over the wall. set your boundaries for the way you have to lead your life that will help you help family and stick to them. at the end of the day only you can make sure you stay in control.

i have been a stay at home mom for 20 years.

I understand your frustration. Two thoughts hire someone to clean, or if you really enjoy it, as a teen I used to babysit for kids it the toy room or at the park while the mom cleaned. At 2 1/2, your daughter can help some, at least learn the principle. Our son loved the swiffer dusters. They were harmless enough and we just made sure nothing was in reach we weren't willing to loose. He thought it was great to help. I did laundry on Mondays and Thursdays. Everything was put away before bed. I piled it on my bed to insure that on rough days. Wed. and Sat. I did the bathrooms, although, I did a lot of that with a Clorox wipe while I brushed my teeth, etc. That left Tues. and Sat. to do the rest. My husband usually did floors and toilets, his choice, at least once a week. My sons cleaned up toys before every nap and bedtime. That kept clutter under control. As my oldest got older, he started putting laundry away after it was folded. Dishes were started every evening and sometimes twice. Otherwise emptied in the morning. The boys put away non-breakables they could reach, a stool helped for silverware, minus knives. The help at this age is more frustrating, but they get in the habit and the younger ones will do it to be like the older sibling. The help improves with practice. It also allows cleaning to be family together time. After all, aren't they going to be responsible to keep a house clean someday? Why not teach them how while they think it's a game? Our 18 month old even cleans under highchair at restarants because he loves helping like his big brother. Sorry to be so long. Hope it gives you some ideas.

Hi A., I feel your pain too. I only have one little one, but we all work a lot of hours so everyone dumps everything in the front room and it is a mess! I am used to the bucket of hot soapy water and everything is cleaned. Well, I can no longer find the time for all of that, so I am satisfied with the clorox clean up wipes. I use them for spills, toilets, sinks, and anything else. As for the messy stuff, I usually try to pile everything on the stairs and going up or down, grab a stack. I think I may place a nice basket a the top and bottom to collect everything and see how that works.

Best of luck.

P.S. I recently cut back on my cleaning lady to...so painful.

Hi A.,
WOW you have a large house and I can certainly see it taking a long time to get it cleaned up. I will first suggest that the house does not have to be completely spotless but tidy. If it helps, get more organized. Make sure all the bathrooms and bedrooms have hampers and trashcans and that they get used. I even keep a hamper in the kitchen for when the kids strip or change their clothes in the kitchen and livingroom, mostly that just happens with socks but once in a while one of them will suddenly be in their unders and its nice to have a hamper right there to use. Don't save everything for the weekend and make your hubby help. On Mondays we clean the living room and kitchen to recover from the weekend, we sweep but only mop if there's time or if its been a while and the foor is looking gross. On Tuesdays my hubby cleans cat boxes and gathers trashes and takes them out. Wednesday and Thursday we do general matainence just tiding up as we go. Fridays I do laundry and let me note that I have 12-16 loads weekly and I get them all done and put away in one day. Saturdays we clean the bathrooms as needed, we don't clean it if its not dirty, the kids clean their rooms and the play room gets straightend up. We do dishes every day usually just before bed we load and run the dishwasher and empty it the next morning, the table gets cleaned off after every meal. We make it a point to clean up after ourselves all day everyday to keep clutter down and to keep messes from building up. Alot of times on the weekends things do get let go for the next weekend if we want to go do something. No our house isn't spotless, I can garuntee you can tell there are kids living here but we're not a disater zone either. We're sanitary and organized and we're happy and we have time for fun and we don't sweat the small stuff. You have a huge house and having 2 very young children keep you busy enough its ok and understandable if you have to let some things go. Good luck with all of it, you can do it.

C.

If you have the money then I would say go for the cleaning staff. I am never caught up on our house. I feel like I am always cleaning. There is also this website called Flylady. You might find it useful.

I have someone come in once a week to just do the bathrooms (I have 5 full bathrooms!) and dust a couple of the places I just hate to do (like the top of the piano with all of the photo frames). I find that when my bathrooms are clean, I feel motivated to do the rest of the house myself. The kitchen gets cleaned everyday anyway (since it's used the most). I tend to ignore the kids' rooms, then about once a month when they're really gross, I'll clean them top to bottom. I keep my house very tidy (beds made everyday, a place for everything and everything in it's place, etc), so it always "looks" clean (even though I know there's a layer of dust on everything!). If I have a couple of spare minutes, I'll get out the swiffer and dust the floors. I find that by doing just a bit at a time, my house tends to be "mostly" clean "most" of the time. I've learned to live with the knowledge that my whole house will never be completely clean at the same time. And even if it got cleaned all at once, I know that it just takes my kids a couple of minutes to mess it all up again. I used to be really uptight about keeping everything clean, but I was getting stressed out so I've learned my lesson and let some things slide. Truthfully, if I could afford it, I would have cleaners come in every week to clean my whole house, even though I'm also a SAHM with all my kids in school all day. I thought I'd have all this spare time, but the truth is, I've never been busier! So don't feel guilty about hiring someone to clean your house, if you've got the $$ I'd say get the cleaners and spend that quality time with your family!

If you have the financial means to have someone clean the house- by all means- do it- it is worth every penny! I have stayed home and I have worked- and staying home is by far so much more tiring-- I struggle with keeping the house clean too-- my kids are about the same age as yours- and my house is only 1600 square feet. I do a house pick up in the morning while the younger one takes his nap- and I engage with my older one while I clean. I do another clean up during their shared afternoon nap and then wait till evening to clean the house up a third time. If I had the financial means though- I would definitely pay someone to do the deep cleaning once a week-- to be able to spend the weekends with your family is well worth it.

I take care of 6 children in my home they range in age from 8 months to 6 years. We never leave a mess behind. Be clean and put away the toys before we have snack, start our preschool or they go home. My best cleaners are my 2 two year old boys.

Children are encouraged to have time each day for open free play (unstructured play in their play room). This for you could be a time to dust, fold clothes, quickly mop floors since the boy is also getting older and should be soon spending more time exploring his environment and toys.

I work out too but I get up at 5am and get it done before 7am so that I can clean my house and do my chores during nap time.

I also know of a friend who was a daycare lady and SAHM who had a cleaning lady come over once a week while she took the kids to the library. The cleaning lady scrubbed the kitchen, bathrooms and vaccumed. Why not treat yourself to that then maybe the cleaning will not be so overwelming. Also, check out www.flylady.net for ideas about how to clean daily without it consuming you.

I also have a friend who stayed up late on Friday nights and cleaned her house so that her week-ends were free to spend with the kids and family.

REMEMBER - before you know it the kids will be grown and gone. I know mine are 17 and 14 and it truly seems they were just babies yesterday. Stop worrying - the housework will be there the kids are only her for maybe 20 years and those years do fly by.

D.

I am very much a person that is a neat freak. I manage to do part time daycare/before-after school care at home and be here for my kids and keep a clean house. Granted I have half the size home you do but something that keeps me from spending days on end cleaning is that each day I have one major thing to do and have nothing but picking up in general on the weekends. Mondays I do dusting, Tuesdays I do bathrooms, Wednesdays I do really big clean on the Kitchen, Thursdays I do the playroom and organize all the toys, Fridays I change sheets and clean upstairs. Daily I do a load of laundry, daily I do a load of dishes. If you stay on top of it, it never gets out of hand. I never spend more then 1 to 1 1/2 hours a day cleaning. There are days I do a bigger clean then typical but I can say most weekends I have nothing left to do but pick up after the kids (who now have the job of helping me)and keep the kitchen picked up

I think when you thought that as a SAHM you shouldn't need to hire anyone to clean, you were shortchanging yourself because you forgot how much work you do! Being a mom is, in and of itself, a huge job- just as demanding as any other "real" job, and sometimes even more so. Since you're staying at home, you are really a mom, a nanny, and a gazillion other roles 24/7. If you worked outside the home, you wouldn't bat an eyelash about hiring someone to clean so that you could enjoy your time off. If every week still seems excessive for whatever reason, cut to every other week, or even once a month (that's what we do, and she just comes in for the major stuff that is really tricky to do by myself with a small child around). Do yourself a favor and get your cleaning person back!!

I have to say "ditto" for www.flylady.net

Fly Lady's general principles include taking small steps toward your goal (not to crash & burn while taking on too big a project) and taking time for yourself & family. I recommend you go to her website & read at least the basics. You don't need to jump in whole hog to make it work. And if you do try it out, you should feel free to adapt her ideas to fit how your own life works.

All I can say is Flylady.net!

Hi A.!
Just because you are a stay at home mom doesn't mean you don't deserve a little help with the house cleaning! We have a wonderful house cleaner who comes every other week, and can give you her number if you want. I do work full time, but if I ever stayed at home, I would make sure there was room in the budget to keep her. And just because someone comes twice a month to your house, does not mean you don't still clean your house!! It's just a wonderful help in keeping your house clean (and your sanity-well at least that is my defense!).

A.,
Your family sounds wonderful!! My advise is hire your house keeper back or try a new one. You can't put a price on spending time with your family and the few buck you pay out every other week is priceless time with your family!! I am also married with two children and I have a small house cleaning business. I would love the chance to help you out with your "dirty work". Please give me a call if you would like a helping hand every week or every other week or even just every once in a while if you feel like going shopping for the day and would like to come home to a spotless house!
Hope to hear from you...
Mama's House Keeper
M.
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On mamasource go under House Maintenance & the sub category of cleaning & house keeping to : Mama's House Keeper for my rates.