I am in such a quandary. I have recently inherited 2 animals that have been abandoned. I have rescued many others to the point that my animals take at least an hour to two hours per day to care for. This is time that I'd like to spend doing other things, at least part of it.
Separately all these animals are fantastic. I do manage to keep the house clean and 90% of the time a person wouldn't realize how many we have. I'm trying to find homes for at least 1/3rd to 1/2 of my animals to lesson the load.
Here's the problem. No matter which animals I talk about letting go of some member of my family says they are too attached. They each have ideas of which ones should go and no two people agree completely. No matter what we talk about my 7 year old cries over every single one of them. She doesn't just complain, she cries huge tears and cries and cries and cries. She says she is just worried they won't get good homes. But I know she loves them all.
I'm sure you can all guess who in the family spends most of the time cleaning up after them and who has to pay for all the food, shots, other veterinarian care, litter, toys, etc. etc. Let's not forget the constant grooming of the long haired dog and the long haired cat.
Is anyone else in the same boat? I write this as the bird is screeching because something has spooked her. She only screeches when she wants something but like I don't have enough to do! :) She's happy, gorgeous and a great conversation piece. But I need to figure this out!
Thank you everyone for your great thoughts on this subject. It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I had a good week finding homes for almost half of my little critters. We found a home for both of the recent foster animals (dog and cat). I also found a great place for one of my big birds and 2 of my small birds and a ferret. Each of them went to situations that were somehow more suited to them than what I could provide. My big bird was my baby and I'll miss her tons. But the man that has her works at home and has a lot of time to spend with her AND he has another bird like her. Apparently they have all hit it off wonderfully. The ferret went to someone that is good at potty training ferrets and she has another ferret too. So now she has a friend and will have more time out of her cage. The little birds were skittish and never responded to any taming. So they are going to a person that has an aviary. They'll have a more natural environment with other birds to be in. Hopefully, they won't freak out. But I think they'll be ok.
I feel much lighter already even though I'm a little sad. The family seems fine and less bothered than I am despite their earlier protests.
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I.C.
answers from
Tulsa
on
i'm not quite as busy as you are.....though i only have three kids, a needy husband, 3 dogs and 1 cat and a snake that my husband wanted so badly and now i take care of it, and i hate feeding it live mice. though i was in your situation. we had an aboundance of animals at one time, and i was the only one taking care of them...at one time we had 4 dogs, 3 cats, the snake, a blue tounged skink, a plated lizard, fish, and an iguana....always wanted a bird but hubby hates them. so i know how you feel....i was always cleaning cages, feeding, and brushing and vet trips, etc. and i couln't do it anymore. so i had to cut down..oh and a hamster.....lol.
the kids were sad to see them go....but they eventually got over it. and in order for them to keep what we have now, i make them feed and water the dogs, and keep the yard cleaned up. they clean out the kitty litter box and sweep and mop the floor when the dogs come in all muddy.....but i found homes for them at a local exotic animal non profit organization....they were really helpful and very nice, and we can go see our old pets anytime! even the one dog! now the cats my brother took for me....so there is always a way....you just gotta look around!
good luck.
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E.Y.
answers from
Topeka
on
If I were in your situation I would have a family meeting and declare that you've had enough! I would give your family a choice, they can pitch in with the animals or some of them have to go. I don't know how old your kids are, but I've been changing cat litter since I was 6. If you and your family decide to keep the animals, then make up a chore chart. If you decide to get rid of some of them, then enlist your family's help in finding new homes for the pets. I have been a foster mom for pets so I know how hard that is when your family gets attached. I wish you much luck!
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M.B.
answers from
St. Louis
on
Suzi,
I followed your link from where you responded to Julie about stress/anxiety. You caught my attention with your mention of fibromyalgia. I also have fibro, am 38 with 4 mine/yours/ours children and am a full-time college student. I am interested in conversing with you about what you do to manage your fibro but I also have some suggestions for this pet situation.
We have also rescued several animals, this is something that i grew up with but my mom let it get out of control and as a kid I remember often feeling slighted of my mothers attention because of all the time she spent caring for the pets. I was also one of six children in a divorced home so her attention was already split. Remembering this has helped me when we started rescuing too many for me to deal with. Of course, I was the one who had to take care of them all. My kids and boyfriend/partner just wanted to reap the rewards of enjoying them when they wanted to and ignoring them when they had something better to do.
When I would mention getting rid of a particular pet and someone objected, I told them that if they were that attached then the pet was now their responsibility because I just couldnt do it anymore. They have seen the worst of my fibro, when I cant even get out of bed and my pain is out of control, so they know when I say that I cant. At first, it was a lot of work for me to remind them of every task but eventually they realized the responsibility involved in having a pet and would often decide that they were not as attached as they thought they were. Walking, grooming, cleaning up after, playing with, etc. is a lot of work that they never knew. I have also used it as a lesson that this is similar to having children (I have a son who is almost 16 and I want him to use his head and not be a young father). I have found that using this approach has made my children more appreciative for what I do for them. They have actually started thanking me when I do things just for them. They have learned to make the hard decision of letting something go because they cannot take proper care of it and that really is the greatest act of love. In the case where we kept the pet, I finally got help from the family and it wasnt all on me. We are now down to one black cat with a broken tail and one gold fish and I now refer rescues to the vet or the shelter.
Saying no is hard but necessary. Hope this is helpful to you.
Good Luck!
M.
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K.M.
answers from
Oklahoma City
on
Hi Suzi, I am a veterinary technician, I can relate, I have a full time job ,2 kids,2horses,2dogs of my own,1 cat,I recently adopted out a lab we took in last year that was a stray,It took me a year to do so but he has a wonderful home now and lots more attention. I get very attached easily and I was picky about where he would go , there are websites you can place them on and you get to screen the people and if you do not like the person interested you can say no. As for the family members I incorporated my 8 and 10yr pld in picking up poop in yard and cleaning stalls etcc.. to show them the work envolved, they too did not want him to leave and every time I mentioned finding him a home they would whine and cry and I reminded them of the toys destroyed and the ruff play they did not like ect.. when they met the new potential owners and heard all the wonderful things they would do with him they too were happy he got a good home, we have also fostered dogs during this time and with each one I remind them daily that they are not there for us to keep we are keeping them safe until the right owner comes along. You would be doing your kids an injustice if you let them think that whining and crying will get them their way, be firm and give yourself a break it is a wonderful thing to help these animals but not to the point of financial burden or inability to keep your own pets healthy. Hope this helps.Ps www.petangels.com is a rescue organization that I understand has really good luck finding homes.
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J.M.
answers from
Topeka
on
I had to respond because I, too, am an animal lover, but you are clearly a saint as well. I just had the thought that you allow each member of the family to pick a pet to keep, and perhaps your daycare class as well - just one - and then the others will be up for adoption. It's just reality that not all the animals in need of homes can be rescued, and you are clearly doing more than your share. The best of luck to you.
