My daughter is 8 and she is already starting to develop. She points out her breasts to me and says they are like mine and smiles. We have talked about how everyones bodies are different and hers is changong now and some peoples will change later. I thought she was fine with all of it. But this morning I found a piece of paper where she had written "My boobies are huge and it is super embarrassing!" How can I help her feel better about her body?
There is a company called Yellowberry. They make age appropriate bras for young girls and they are packaged beautifully and can really make a girl feel like they are getting a wonderful gift. I'd buy her some and have a conversation about what a special time this is and that she should never be embarrassed about her body.
My dd is 13 and no signs of puberty. That isn't so great either. We all have our challenges!
Getting the beginnings of breasts at 8 or 9 is not early. I'm in my mid 40s and that's the age I started getting mine and the doctor said it was normal. I didn't start my period until I was closer to 11 or 12 though. Puberty happens over the course of several years with different things happening at different stages. Your period and hair growth are at the later part of that. A lot happens before that point. There are a couple of American Girl books called "The Care & Keeping of You" that are really good on puberty, body changes and general hygiene and self care. There is one for younger girls and for older teens. I suggest picking both up and reading ahead yourself and use them for in depth, honest talks so she doesn't feel embarrassed, scared or confused about all the changes that are happening and will continue to happen in the next handful of years.
She may have written the note because she was embarrassed. When I was in elementary school, there was a girl that developed faster than the rest of us. She got teased, because kids can be insensitive to others and just love a reaction. That may have happened to your daughter and why she is now upset about it. Unfortunately, it takes time for a child to be comfortable with how they are different. I would suggest taking her to get some camisoles and maybe some cami bras. That is what my older girls wore as they started. They didn't really move into a real bra until about 11 or 12. My 8 yr old will be getting some soon since she seems to be starting.
There is a store that is very popular with girls right around your daughter's age called "Justice" They have an excellent selection of bras and undergarments for girls in all stages of development. Some of the clothes are kind of glittery and colorful, but you can definitely find good basics and things that are stylish and yet modest at the same time. My girls loved their tank tops, leggings, and swim suits for many years. Take her on a mother-daughter shopping date and buy her some bras and maybe some clothes that boost her confidence. The American Girl store also has a good book for girls all about puberty, I think it's called "The Keeping and Caring of You"
What was the "piece of paper"? A page of her diary? A note she wrote to a friend? The "reason" for her writing that might help give an idea of her feelings.
She needs a bra. That's the starting point.
She needs to know what her body is doing and what is going to happen over the next several years.
If your daughter eats a LOT of processed food? It will push the process of puberty faster than if she has a more "organic" diet. Especially if she drinks a lot of milk.
Tell her that her body is beautiful and that large boobs are NOT embarrassing. Ask her WHY she wrote that - unless it was in her diary and then you had no business being in that. but TALK WITH HER.
She should be getting talks about what changes will be happening with her body frequently - not just one and done talk.
Good luck!
I would make sure and get her a beginners bra. She's probably getting self-conscious that you can see through her shirt etc. You said all the right things, I think she'll be fine after she has the bra.
I would notice her friends, see if any of them are developing too. Usually girls with a little bit more fat content on their body show breasts sooner. Not saying she's fat, just saying some girls are different body styles. My girl is very athletic but she has an hourglass figure and it's nothing she can change. She did have friends in 3rd and 4th grade that were developing though. It's not uncommon for them to go to bed one night flat chested and wake up the next morning with little breast nubs that puff up and grow within a few days.
Help her to notice that others are developing too and she isn't alone.
Head for the library and check out The Care and Keeping of You. It's published by American Girl, and it does a good job of presenting what to expect as your body changes in a body positive way. Eight is early, but not abnormally early. Is she being teased at school?
8? I think there is a name for that. Call pediatrician. Too early. Precocious puberty I think it's called.
helping is great, but don't tip over into being so 'helpful' that you make it a bigger deal than it is.
get her a bra if she needs one. make it a fun and exciting event you get to celebrate together.
open the door for questions or comments or discussion, but don't drag her through it.
let her have her feelings, and if embarrassment is part of it, help her deal with the embarrassment, not bury it.
it's a somewhat delicate tightrope, but it's like most of the challenges we help our kids overcome. more listening, less instructing.
khairete
S.
I think get her some sports bras that are super cute and colorful. She is probably embarrassed because the other kids at school most likely notice and/or say something to her. My 7 year old daughter is super jealous of the one girl in class who wears sports bras (already!). Just tell your daughter that the other girls will soon catch up to her and everyone's bodies change at a different rate when we grow up. You can't really do anything about other kids noticing at school...it's what kids do. If you find out someone is actually picking on her...then I'd work on teaching her ways to deal with that kid as well as speaking to the teacher about it.
She is not too young to develop. Both my girls started around that age. They wore the camisole tops under everything. (Not bras) They both got their period at 11 1/2.
Do get some books to read together about her changing body. I bought the book, "What's Happening to Me?" when my kids were little. It talks about both male and female bodies. Help her to feel confident and not embarrassed about her body. Get the sports bras and camisoles to help her feel good about herself. Perhaps a small bottle of fragrance to spray on her (a smell you can stand if she sprays too much) and go from there.
Welcome to the world of child to tween to teen.
the other S.
