How Do I Get My 3 Month Old on a Schedule ?

Dear S.,

My daughter put herself on a schedule at 6 months, and I just followed it. She'd get up at 7 am, have breakfast, play for a bit, take a nap, eat lunch, play, take an afternoon nap, play, have dinner and go to bed. It was great. The only thing I didn't allow was the pre-dinner nap because she'd be awake until 10pm with the nap. She went to bed around 8pm without the nap. As I said, this was her schedule and I just went along with it (but I followed it religioiusly). Three months is still too young for schedules as you are still getting used to each other. I'm sure your son will come up with his own schedule around 6 months, too.

Hope this helps.
A.

Hello,

I have to say, I think it's too early to get a schedule set, possibly. He is a little to young to get into one just yet...it will come though. As far as the gassy thing, have you talked to the doctor?
The times he is nusing and napping sounds about right....at least for now.
I am sure that's not what you wanted to hear, good luck!

Hi S.!
I am a Sahm of a 1 yr old boy. When he was about 2-3 months old I started implementing a "bedtime". I chose 11pm (you choose what works for you) and every night at 11pm I would go upstairs, go into the nursery and it would be quiet and dark from 11 until morning (around 7 ish for me)

Even though he was nursing every 2 hours too, I was differenciating time for him through quiet and noise.(There is no need to disrupt your his nursing schedule. It will adjust naturally)

At 11 sharp EVERY NIGHT I would do the same thing and there would be NO light, sound (including singing, playing if awoke at night ect..) By doing this, my 1 year old goes down at 10 SHARP (I later backed it up an hour) He is a happy, secure baby that sleeps great b/c I set the time when he was soo young and helped to differenciate night and day for him.

When he got a little older (4 months +) It was hard not to play with him when he coohed during an occasional change or giggled. But by refraining until morning, He started sleeping through the night by 4 months.

He knows that night is a time of quiet and rest and the day if full of play and song ect.. I hope this helps and good luck to you and your little man :)

when i had my son, everyone kept asking me what his schedule was and when i said he wasn't on one yet they would tell me i neet to hurry up and get him on one. the thing is though, he was only 2 or 3 months, i was breastfeeding and he was still getting comfortable with this big world. point is you dont need a schedule when they're this young. feed him when he's hungry, let him sleep when he's tired and play with him in between. i just now got my son onto a schedule and he's 7 months now but it's perfect because he's ready for and can understand "right now i'm playing with mommy so i can wait a lil longer to eat" enjoy this time it'll be over soon. have fun and dont push something he's not ready for. not now not ever. good luck

Nursing and naps sound pretty normal for his age. The gas can really just be due to the maturation of his digestive tract. It's not easy to get stuff done, I know, but it sounds like he's doing what he's supposed to. I'm actually jealous of the 5-7 hour stretch - I didn't get that until closer to 5 or 6 months!

I read a great book to help me get my second child on a schedule and help him sleep through the night. It's called "On Becoming Baby Wise." Basically they recommend feeding when your baby first wakes up (not right before he goes to sleep) and making sure he gets a "full" feeding every time. They say you can start at any time in the morning so lets say you start at 6am with wake/feed. Then a nap at 7:30-9. You repeat this all day so your baby eats and sleeps every 3 hours (with a 1 1/2 hour nap). At either 6pm or 9pm my son would sleep through the night (beginning just before 2 months old). The book's suggestions worked like a charm for my baby who is now 6 months old.

As for the gas, I figured out that my daughter is alergic to msg (monosodium glutemate and anything modified) and also hydrogenated oils. She's now 3 and still reacts with a bloated, painful stomach. I don't think our doctors ever really believed me but we eat healthier because of it and when I stopped eating that stuff her gas stopped immediately. I ate all the different vegetables and things that people usually associate with gas and she had no problem with them. Some kids are alergic to wheat, dairy or whey and can have similar reaction.

I would like to congratulate you on breast feeding. I personaly feel that is the best option. I agree with many of the other posters. He's doing fine. I'm not sure where the idea of needing a schedule came from but its not necessary with babies. If anything, everyone else's schedule might have to adjust to the baby. He's sleeping well and eating well. As a bf baby, he'll eat every 2 hours. Its sometimes a hassle but so worth it. So be proud that he's sleeping so long at night and feed him when he's hungry and let him sleep when he needs it. He grows when he sleeps! As a mom of 4 who's "baby" is now 2, enjoy this time. Its quiet, calm and fairly easy! Before you know it, that little boy is going to be crawling and walking and into everything. They are little for only a short time.

Its harder to get babies who nurse onto a schedule then bottle fed babies. The main reason is that you can never be quite sure how much he got or you produced. One thing that might help is to transition from feeding from you to feeding from a bottle. Pump your milk into a bottle and then feed him from the bottle. That may help with the gasiness too.
M.

Hi S.- i struggled with this as well, and finally just accepted the fact that my daughter just wasn't the "scheduling" kind until she hit about 6 months. My ped assured me it was pretty normal for breastfed babies (mine had horrible gas and reflux too) to be schedule-resistent for the first 5 or 6 months. My daughter was in daycare from 2 until 4 months, and every day was totally different for her, even tho the daycare had a schedule and tried to keep her on it. At about 5 months she finally "got" it, and set her own schedule- and now she is down to the minute perfect. I really believed that breastfed babies should be fed on demand, and although it was really inconvenient most of the time, it was only 4 or 5 months, which now seems such a short period of time.

Dear S.~
My baby boy was "colic" and my heart goes out to you. His discomfort will pass as he matures. I too changed my diet and used gas drops extensively...so exasperating! Anyway, I needed a schedule and I used a controversial book that basically said do it by the clock (I know you said you don't want to), and they will learn what to expect. The routine is to wake up, nurse, then be active for NO MORE than 2 hours (at that age). He usually started fussing after 2 hours and I put him back down for a one to 2 hour nap...do not feed. As with any heartburn or indigestion, eating before laying down is the worst. That's where I was confused; I tried to feed instead of putting him down for a nap. I got on a clock schedule (with some flexibility) and he got better rest! I hope you find what works for you.

This is normal behavior for a 3 month old.

I agree with the other posters. It's really too early to start a schedule. You should count yourself lucky that he goes 5-7 hours at night. My 1 y.o. nursed every 2-3 hours around the clock until he was 6 months old. Even then he went to only 4-5 stretches at night.
Also, it's totally normally for your l.o. to nap 2-3 times a day. They usually don't go down to 2 naps a day until 7 months or so and drop to one nap until they are at least a year. Good luck to you.

Hi - again, he is completely normal. What I didn't see in teh original posts from others was a discussion of naptime. I think generally, babies start establishing a morning nap first. My 2-3 month old just started doing this - she wakes every morning with the sun and is up for a good hour happy and playful and then shows signs of fussiness and I nurse her for her morning nap. The rest of the day is more fluid (that is, no clear routine). But eventyually, you will start to see a pattern for a midday and afternnon nap as well. Establishing a bedtime habit is great, as another woman suggested. However, I don't think you need to make it a silent affair. Bedtime can be one of the most pleasant and relaxing activities. keep it peaceful, but please use it as a nice bonding time - lotion, music, stories, etc. Usually, at middle of the night feedings, I don't have the energy for much converrsation, but I do like to cuddle and talk softly to my baby. It is one of the few quiet moments you may have. I have special memories of this time with my eldest. Enjoy!

I have to agree with other posters - eating every 2-3 hours sounds right, and I think he should be napping at least 3 times a day if not more. Around 4 months I got my daughter on an every 3 hour schedule, and she moved to every 4 hours at about 7 months. I am sure once your son is ready you will be able to get him on a 3 hour eating schedule.

A book by Suzy Giordano, called 'Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks', it really works and you can get the 2nd ed in soft cover cheaper on Amazon (I think it is called the Baby Sleep Solution). Simple and short to read. Has worked for both of my children who are 20 months and 6 months and share a room and both have slept 12 hours/night plus naps since 12 weeks.

It works. Go for it.

Your little one is at an age where it's very common to nurse as much as he is. Putting him on an eating schedule could compromise your milk production at this point. As far as the gas, have you had an LC check your latch to make sure he's not getting a lot of air when he nurses? Does he gulp? Do you have a fast letdown i.e. does your milk spray at letdown? This could also introduce air when he's nursing.

Maybe these links are of some help?

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/gassybaby.html

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/bf-links-concerns.html

Good Luck to you!

Hi S.,

Your 3 month old is on his on schedule. Sorry.

Contact the La Leche League. They may help with some ideas.

www.lllusa.org/VA/WebTidewaterVA

Another resource is a parent support group.

http://sahm.meetup.com

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

Please, don't start feeding breastmilk with a bottle to get around this. The problems that can raise are numerous, and it sounds like you are doing well with nursing. And bottle feeding may increase the gassiness because he'll take in more air when drinking from a bottle than he would at the breast.

Quite honestly, your baby's behavior sounds 100% normal. Nursing every 2-3 hours at this age is normal. Taking 2-3 naps a day at this age is normal. And it sounds like your baby has fallen into a routine of his own, even if it isn't 100% clockwork.

There are people who advocate feeding a baby on a strict schedule. To those, I say what I will say to you. Nursing your baby every 2 hours is just as much a schedule as nursing every 3 hours. If you want to plan your days, why not try nursing every 2-2.5 hours, when he is likely to receive it but not be starving? That may increase your nursing sessions during the day, which may increase his caloric intake during the day and help him at night. But it may not. His stomach is only so big and can only hold so much at a time.

One thing you don't talk about is why you want to do this. Are you feeling tied down, like you can't get out? My son was a very frequent nurser, nursing every 2 hours even when he was 12 months old. I found that wearing a nursing top and putting him in a sling freed me up considerably. I could go anywhere with him attached to the breast, and no one was ever the wiser. I did all my Christmas shopping at the malls with him attached, all my grocery shopping, a lot of housework, etc. And the sling was much easier to maneuver than a stroller.

As for the gassiness, there is a general perception that mom's diet is the main issue, but research doesn't bear that out. It's more likely that it's an issue of his immature digestive system; the only solution to that is time. Crying a lot will mean they take in more air and may be gassy. Is your letdown forceful? That might also cause him to take in more air, and there are coping methods for that.

Babies naturally settle into a routine on their own. It is a bit of give and take. Their schedule is often as predictable as your own. I think you are wise to avoid schedules that encourage you to feed your baby by the clock. It is completely normal for a baby his age to eat every 2-3 hours and nap 2-3 times a day and nurse 1-2 times at night. A good resource for breastfeeding moms is La Leche League. They have a great website and then there are local meetings you can attend for support and to ask questions of other breastfeeding moms. My youngest is 4mo. and there is a lot of give and take in our day. I make a list each day of what needs to be done and I work on the sitting things(phone calls, e-mails,reading, planning meals) while nursing and then run around and do other things while she is playing or sleeping. I also use a sling for times when she wants to be held and I am either on the go or working around the house. It sounds like you have a wonderful completely normal baby. relax and enjoy this time it goes by so fast