Homework troubles...help!

I would let her know right away you are in daily contact with her teacher (be in contact via email or whatever it takes) and that her lying has to stop NOW! Let her know you are very familiar with what she needs to do and all priveledges, phone, computer, outings with friends will be completely STOPPED until she has redeemed herself. Give her a few weeks to set up a pattern to earn your trust back. Explain to her, that her way of doing things is causing you to lose trust in her completely, that she will be grounded until the cycle stops and ask her how it is working for her to lie? I mean my favorite Dr Phil quote (though I don't watch him anymore) is "how is that working for you?"...it isn't working for her and she needs to deal with the consequences harshly.
Also explaining that just trust in homework will go into every day life and you will no longer be able to trust her with anything if she continues. Explaining what a priviledge to have someone trust you is, what the consequences of lying are and how it just doesn't effect her! Good luck. I would say be hard core and have her earn your trust back, if she sees you are truly talking to the teacher daily, even a sheet of what is to be done each day and you checking it off with her each evening so there is no way she can lie may help!
HUGS

There is really no answer. Your daughter may have to learn the hard way. I have two suggestions. one is talk to the teacher and see if there is a way she can give you a weekly email or call saying what is due for the week. There may also be something she is giving the child and she is just not giving it to you. So I would check into that. My other suggestion is to just let her fall. She is old enough to know the out come of not getting her homework done. She may have to be held back or she may have to take summer school classes in order to catch up. You may want to talk to her about that and let her know this could be the solution. I have learned you cannot hold their hand forever and with Junior high right around the corner, it is better for her to learn now. I know it sounds harsh, but I would try the first suggestion first and see if you can work something out with the teacher so you know what is due and what she has to do. If it does not work, then let her learn the hard way. She will get the point..... Take things away if you catch her lying. Dont let her do things during the week so that she has plenty of time for homework. She knows what she is doing. Although it is your job to make sure she has time for homework, you can not and should not do it for her:) Good luck! Hope that helps....

Talk to the teacher daily and get all the assignments. If you really want to drive the point home, march her in front of her friends to the teacher and get all the assignments everyday. If this is effective it should only last a short amount of time. Keep it up everytime she says she forgot something. She will learn not to lie and to get her homework done.

I do have one question. Is the homework overwhelming her? They do step up the learning in 5th grade.
C. B

This sounds just like my son. He is also in 5th and it so far has been a tough year. At one point he had 14 missing assignments. I was on his case everyday, I was in contact with the teachers, finally went to work late one day and went in to school and had a talk with all the teachers and got all his assignments. I took away hockey for a month, grounded him from friends, tv and video games. Nothing mattered. He finally is caught up but I can not slack off on my end. His teacher signs his planner daily of his work he has for the night, I then go through it all with him and then we put all his to be turned in work in a seperate folder for him. He goes to his class first thing in the morning before all the other kids go to class, hands in all his work before he gets his friend time. So far its working. I have requested a meeting with a counselor, teacher and principle to talk about dyslexia, do I feel that is the reason for all these problems, NO but I do feel he may be overwhelmed and struggles a bit so he lost interest. If you find any great strategies I would love to hear them. I hope it gets better for you on your end.

S.

Have you had the school test her for disabilities? My nephew was just diagnosed at 13 with dyslexia. He was able to use coping skills for most of his school career, but it finally caught up with him.

His old school suggested ADD or laziness. He switched schools and they caught it right away.

The school has to test if you request it and you will have a staffing meeting. Send me a private message if you want more info - in my BK life, I was a special education teacher!

Good luck.
J.

Have your DD take a weekly/daily agenda to school everyday, have her right what the homework for that day is and then have the teacher sign it saying that that is the work, and then leave a seperate space for the teacher to acknowledge that she did the previous homework. This is what our school district does, so the kids never can say "I didn't have any" or "I only have to do this side" I can see that isn't true and then the next day I would know for sure.