My oldest child is a Senior in high school this year. She is very active in her high school cross country team and on her high school track team. She has gone to "state" since she was a freshman in track and, she will be going to "state" for cross country this weekend (this is the 1st year her school has had a cross team-she started it). She has been offered scholarships to many colleges in Missouri and other states. Here is my problem. We have just learned that her school is looking at changing the date of their high school graduation from a Sunday afternoon (which is when they have done it for YEARS) to the Friday evening or the Saturday afternoon the weekend that Missouri holds the State Track Meet. This means that if my daughter makes it to state again this year, which we know that probably will, she will not be able to walk with her graduating class to receive her diploma. I am going to go to the school board meeting in two weeks to try to make them understand that it is not fair for these students that are representing their school in track to have to choose between going to state or walking with their class. It is a small school and they don't really care much about the track team. I have already spoken with the school principal and he has told me that "you can't please the masses". My daughter has scholarships that will be affected by her not going to state. Aside from going to the school board, does anyone else have any suggestions as to what I can do to fight this? I really don't want me daughter to miss her high school graduation but, she has worked WAY too hard to miss going to State as well.
Just to clarify, her scholarships will not be pulled. She receives more in scholarship money from some colleges if she places at state. We have one specifically that she has been offered $9,000 to run for and if she places at state it will go up to $12,000 for her first year.
I would simply have her go to her competition and miss the festivities. She will not even remember 50% of these people in a few years. It will be a long forgotten memory. Let her do what she needs to do to get the higher education.
"Can't please the masses????"
Um... why on earth are they changing the date in the first place?
I've personally found a LOT of luck in being the weekly thorn in someone's heel. I'll out and out describe myself that way.
"Hey, John. Here's your coffee. Know I'm going to be the thorn in your heel, here every week until the Track kids get to graduate with their class. Oh! Kari's mom! Did you know they're wanting to change the graduation day to the State Track Meet? None of the track kids will get to graduate with their class! Isn't that awful? I know. I'm here to talk with Principal John again today. I come here every week! Spread the word, would you? So, John. I couldn't remember if you liked cream or not. And about that date....?"
Smiling, and nice, and a Pain In Their Arse. With coffee and petitions and as inevitable as the tides.
For $3000 you can bet your butt that I'd have her at State unless she really, really, really wanted to walk with her class. Leave the decision up to her but if she has a good chance of placing, the fact that there is additional $ on the line would definitely sway me towards the meet.
I would go to the school board as you have planned but in the mean time, I would also go to the school's athletic director and the coaches. Enlist their help with the principal and the board. If that doesn't work, go to the media!
**added** I have never had a school event (just the school, conference, or states) where a school's team is scheduled to compete or perform at the same time as a school holds graduation. Completely unheard of and inexcusable!
Our school always has graduation on a Friday night. It's just tradition. I'm curious why your school would be changing theirs this year. And you said Friday or Saturday...which seems weird since they should have had the date set before school even started. If I were in your situation I would try to find an ally on the school board ahead of time. Is there someone on the board that you know from school yourself, from church, a former teacher? And definitely make your voice heard at the school board meeting. The more parents you can find to go and stand up with you the better. If the date is still up in the air, perhaps it's not too late for them to decide to move it back to Sunday. Good luck. And good luck to your daughter at state! :)
I would think that the state track meeting would be more important than the graduation ceremony. I know when I graduated that our valedictorian only made it to the ceremony because our baseball team lost in the state tournament. I mean, really, wouldn't you rather watch her compete than watch some high school students give speeches? I know it would be great to,do both, but really?
I would join forces with the other track parents. Even if it's not their kid this year, it sets a precedent. I think that you can't always please everyone, but this is not something frivolous. This is something the kids have worked hard for all year and they are representing the school that is looking to change grad to cause a conflict. Like someone else said, also go to the athletic director and coaches. They may not care about the track team, but I bet if you got the word out, you'd find more sympathetic people than you might expect. We weren't big on our track team (or any sports, aside from girls' softaball, which rocked) but I bet if enough parents complained, it would not be moved.
Why are they thinking of moving it? Friday night would be terrible, IMO.
I feel for you! Some of my son's friends missed walking with their class last year because they were at the state baseball tournament.
I imagine no matter WHAT date graduation falls on there will be kids affected by it and unable to attend. I understand your frustration, and I applaud you for making your case, but it really is impossible to accommodate every student and family. Sometimes hard choices must be made. If it comes down to that I would definitely encourage your daughter to go to the state tournament. As sad as it would be missing the "walk" I think it would be even sadder to miss such an amazing athletic competition/achievement.
Get as many allies as you can on this. It's ridiculous to have graduation take place at a time when students may be competing in school-related activities. Of course, you can't expect graduation to be set on a date convenient for everyone, but you can expect and demand that it be set on a date that does not conflict with school-related State competitions! My daughter was a State qualifier all four years of high school, too. She took first place in the long jump and triple jump her senior year. Can you imagine missing out on that kind of opportunity because some thoughtless person scheduled graduation at the same time? Your daughter should not have to choose between these two significant events in her life.
You can get allies on this from people outside of the track & field community. Any fair-minded person would be on your side. If you can't get results from your school, keep going up the chain of command until you do get results. Even your state representative might help you pursue a just solution to this problem.
How many kids on the track team are graduating? Can you get all the parents to act together to get this changed?
And, I like Riley's approach ;-)
Hmmm, I guess in that situation, whichever the kid chooses to do is what we'd go for. Probably not the first (and DEF not the LAST) tough decision she has to make.
It is highly unlikely her scholarship offers will be pulled if she misses states this year, however, if you're THAT concerned, why not ASK her admission's counselors about it?
:)
By the time graduation comes around she should have already have chosen the college she'll be attending, no? Ask her, 20 years from now, which does she think will be more important to her? If she has close friends from early childhood at school and graduation will be sentimental and memorable I'd say do the graduation ceremony. If she's much more enthusiastic about cross country, then do the State.
This is one of those life lessons that just stink. Life is full of these tough decisions - sometimes it's chosing the lesser of two evils, and sometimes it's choosing which of two good things to attend. I've missed weddings and other special one-time events becuase of conflicts. It's tough and it stinks - but it's life. My advise to your daughter - 10 or 20 years from now - which will you regret missing more? That's the one to attend.
IMHO - go to the HS graduation ceremony - but only your daughter can really answer that.
