Help....mother Of 3, Almost 4 Year Old, That Doesn't Want to Potty Train....

I would constantly keep my eye out for him showing signs that he's getting ready to go poop. Once you see him going off to a corner or whatever it is he does, I would run over and grab him and sit him on the toilet. He's old enough that you could start disciplining him for not going on the potty. Some people may disagree with that, but once my kids were potty trained, they got in trouble for having accidents. Not right at first, but after a month or so they did. Once they know better, it's punishable, just like any other behavior that isn't acceptable.

My son is now 3 1/2 and i just got him fully trained about a month ago! I tried the whole pull-ups thing, but they were too much like diapers, so i went straight for the underwear. That helped alot! Also, each child, personality-wise is different, so you have to tailor the training process around that. If i told my son to go on the potty, or even suggested it, he'd refuse. I used to sit him on there and tell he had to sit there until he went, but that got zero results. What worked best for me was letting him tell me he wanted to go. One day, i just stopped asking him if he had to go. Once he realized he had the "power" to decide for himself, he went consistently and has never looked back! So, in a nutshell, ditch the pull-ups/training pants, get underwear, and see if he wants to decide for himself. Sometimes Mommy just has to back off a little.:) Also, i used a toilet seat topper, not a potty chair. I had both, but he preferred sitting on the 'Big Potty'! I too was worried it was never going to happen. I feared i was going to have two in diapers, because i'm due with my fourth child in July! With patience and gentle persistence, it will happen! Good luck!

I would first off stop putting him in trainer pants...they make it easier for children potty training to feel more comfortable having accidents. At his age, he needs to feel what really happens when he has an accident. This may be messy at first, but once he realizes what a mess it is it won't continue for too long. Everyone I know who has successfully potty trained has had to go this route including myself. Also, I would put him on the potty every half hour if need be until he understands his body signals himself and/or you are able to tell when he has to go. Once he begins telling you he has to go or going on his own, then I would give him a small treat for eliminating. I did this with my oldest and it worked very well. I kept a small jar of skittles n the bathroom our of her reach of course, then when she peed she got one skittle and for a number two she got two skittles. Good luck to you, hope this helps...potty training is not fun!!

i have one that was like that and whould not train. my grandpa told me to try this and it work for my little one . everytime he goes in his pants make him clean them out in the potty and do not help him but stay in thier with him to make sure he does it.

If you have honestly tried everything to teach your little guy to go on the potty and given it some time and it still hasn't worked I would talk to your pediatrician.
Potty training is difficult, and a lot of times I think you just have to let them have accident after accident until they learn. Especially at 3, if he has on big boy underwear and has an accident, make him put his wet clothes in the laundry room, give him paper towels to clean up his mess, and make him get dry clothes on. Let him know that you are not mad at him, but his pee is yucky and he needs to clean it up not you. I bet you will see some definite improvement after a week or two of this. It is hard though. You really have to stay home a lot for a few weeks to work on it. Don't give up either. Set backs are all part of potty training. Keep in mind, they have won once you give in and start using diapers again.
Once he gets the hang of going pee in the potty on his own I think pooping and night potty training will follow shortly after.
I'm not an expert, but this is what worked for my daughter. Good luck!!!

Hi J.,
I wish I had some AWESOME advice for you, but I can only tell you that I went through the same with our second out of four. Over time I have learned that she is just by nature a VERY stubborn child to this day (she is almost 11 now) She would hold her poop until she was almost impacted. It brought me to tears sometimes. I would find her in the corner holding it with all her might. Her undies were ALWAYS stained. We would have to give her baby suppositories and she would eventually blow in the bathtub. :( This went on until she was well into the age of 4. Eventually she told me that she was scared it would hurt. Sometimes I think kids have a great reason but they just don't know how or want to express it. If it's any consolation, I am learning now that this is a REALLY common problem! Good luck. I hope you have success soon.

Get rid of the pull ups. The other mom (I'm sorry...can't recall the name) was right when she said that they just hold the kids back. Make sure he knows that there will be no more pulls ups in the house at all. I know some might disagree with me, but don't even keep some for night-time because then he'll hold his movements until then. Let him run around the house in just his underwear, that way there's less for him to get out of the way when he does go. Ask him every 30 mins or so if he needs to go potty, or take him to the potty if you like. Make sure that he's well praised when he does go to the potty, and double the praise when HE tells you that he has to go. If he has an accicdent, let him be the one responsible for cleaning it up. He's old enough to change his own underwear, use a towel to wipe up wet messes, and rinse out the dirty ones.

On a side note...are you using a potty chair, or a potty seat? Neither one of my boys liked the potty chair at all and prefered to go on the "big" potty like mommy and daddy. Also, those stupid splash guards that they put on the seats and chairs are a nusance at best for little boys, and a pain in the butt when you have to fish it out for the 45th time in one day-- get rid of it. He may be afraid of "catching" himself on it.

If you're looking to put him into a public preschool, they should offer assistance with potty training. Talk to the teachers and see. That was one of the questions asked when I enrolled my boys, and I was told that the teachers will work with the child if needed.

My oldest son was 3, and my youngest was 3 and 1/2 when they were trained, so I feel your pain!

sadly we cant force our kids to do anything this includes potty training and you can actually make them regress more by trying to make them use the potty. with my daughter we were doing well then i was put in the hospital for 3 weeks then had a baby, but a few things that worked with us was just taking away the pull ups, we still had accedents but think about it who wants to sit in wet undied all day??? so theres an idea also we set a "potty timer" depending on how often your child potties, at first we did 30 min then 45 then an hour and so on eventually they will tell you when they have to go.... good luck i hope this helped