Helping First Born Adjust!

Sounds like you have made a good start. We read alot of books about having a baby at our house, but really ownership was the biggest thing that worked for us. My twins are very emphatic about it being OUR baby and thier baby brother. When ever they would see babies I would get them pumped about that soon they would have a baby of thier own. They have been amazing, sweet, and gentle. The one thing is to make sure you protect your baby from toddler exuberance without being so overprotective in that you make your daughter feel bad or like she can't play with the baby. I would almost always try suggesting alternative ways for her to interact with baby instead of other methods of correcting behaviour. Also for me I would get her into her own room with a gate because I would not want to deal with her getting woken every time the baby wakes up at night. Having her own space would also be of help.

I have been in your shoes and let me tell you don't over think the whole thing. The most natural thing in the world is to have brothers and sisters. Tell her the baby is hers. If anyone comes to see the baby, give the showing off job to her. Have everyone go through her to get to the baby and include her in as much of the baby work as she is interested in. She can't get jealous of something that is hers to begin with. Keep on top of discipline. She will try to get away with stuff if she thinks she can. I have had 4 c-sections and I know it can be hard. It always helps me to keep moving slowly. If I am in one play for to long I begin to get sore.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! How exciting!!

It sounds like you're doing a good job and have been given some good advice. I agree with , if shes a light sleeper, you may want to get her out of your room. Also, does she have a doll? We bought a doll and some preemie diapers and gave it to the older one at the hospital. Then she can change her baby, pretend to nurse etc. Tell her when the baby gets a little bigger and stronger she can help you too.

K.,

When I was pregnant with my son someone gave me this advice and it really helped... They said that when it was time for the baby to take a nap to speak to the baby in front of the older sibling (my daughter was 3 yo when my son was born) and say something like "Okay Jack, it's time for you to take a nap. I'd like to spend some time with Samara now." or "Jack, it's Samara's turn now, I'm going to play with her/read her a book, you'll have to be patient and wait for your turn."

My daughter loved it when I told my son that he needed to wait while she was getting "alone time."

Also, I always included my daughter when ever possible... she would hand me a diaper/ointment, etc. while diaper changing, hand me clothes while changing clothes, etc. She was like the second mother and loved the responsibility.

You'll do great.

Congratulations,
L.

Love the great advice you've received!

I could only add that, by allowing your husband to be "there" more and more for your daughter, the more she will come to depend on, go to, and love him more -- put him as point-man at night, have him lie down with her to read and cuddle in the evenings, he can hold/cuddle her as you hold the baby.

Getting a gift in the hospital really helped my daughter too, and allowing her to immediately hold and interact with her little brother gave her more ownership, therefore more love, because, just like your husband, she would now be "there" for her brother, who at 3 now ADORES her.

And allowing your daughter her own room, even if it's "child-proofed-out" would give her a sense that she still has her "own place" in your home and family:) We all need a space to call our very own.

Good luck and many blessings!

We made sure my son felt like the baby was HIS baby too. I totally agree with the ownership issue...my son told everyone the rules for seeing/touching his new baby sister. He "helped" burp her, swing her, comfort her, "hold" her...sometimes as a previous poster said was a bit too over helpful and you have to keep an eye on that.

I also second a different room and a baby gate...we turned my son's room into a huge baby proof "crib"...if he got out of bed he could play or read, etc. But he knew he was in there from bedtime until it was time to get up...little hand on the 7. I really needed some place safe for him to be at night where he couldn't just wander around.

Congrats on the new baby!!

Our boys are 23 months apart. First one was a BIG time mama's boy. Well after baby was born(I too had a c section), daddy had to take over. He turned into daddy's boy very fast(still is at almost 6 y o) So I would not worry about it. Kids adjust well when they are that young:)