Helping Child Sleep After Taking Away Pacifier

I just talked to a fellow teacher of mine who relayed this great story from the "Soup's Good for the Soul - Dental Version" (she's a dental assistant teacher). There was a story about how a younger sibling wanted the tooth fairy to come and visit because the older sibling had just lost a tooth. The mom had creatively thought of the Paci-Fairy and told the toddler that she would have to give up the pacifier in order to get a visit. I thought that was an exciting way to break a bad habit:)

Everyone has there own thoughts about this, but sometimes kids need that sucking sensation to soothe them. your child may be one of them. If she only used it for naps and bed time you dont have to worry about her going to kindergarten with it. I would give it back to her, making sure that she knows it stays in her room for naps and bedtime only. My oldest child had it for naps and bed time until she was 3 1/2 years old then one day she told me she wanted to save it for the new baby and she did not take it any more. Good luck hope it all turns around for you. I do like the build a bear idea. But I still think she is young enough not to have to give up the pacifier. It beats sucking her thumb she has that with her all the time......

Hi Ann Marie, The first night I took away the pacifier's (binkies) from my girls I just about spent the whole night sitting on the floor in between their beds. The second night was better, I only sat there about an hour. The third night was about 30 minutes and by the fourth night we were back into our normal routine without "binkies". I'll be honest, I planed the event...took a couple of vacation days added to a weekend, planned lots of activities so that they would be tired, and counted on not getting much sleep. I also figured it would involved lots of crying and unhappy, tired little girls. (They were two and four...my oldest actually had to go through binky withdrawl twice, long story there!)

I changed nap time. We bought a big floor pillow and I would lay down on it with them with a blanket and we would fall asleep durring Mr. Rogers & Lambchop (so yeah it was a few years ago).

This is one of those times when it's really good to stay strong on the big things like sleeping in your own bed, brushing teeth, when it comes to bedtime...but be willing to try some new things when it comes to nap times. Watch that she doesn't start sucking her thumb...once she finds the same comfort with her thumb (that she had with the binky) you will have a harder time fighting that habit than you even want to think about.

I found that the best thing is for you to remain as calm and as matter-of-fact as you can. Don't let her stall don't buy into the "scary things under the bed" stuff. Make sure she has a stuffed animal that she loves that is sleepable (really soft and squisshy). Sometimes ya just gotta be firm. Good luck and best wishes!!

Hey Ann Marie,
Don't give up! I just went through the same thing with our Nuk. My son only took it to bed for naps and night time. Before we took it away we started talking about the "Nuk Fairy" and how she was coming to take the nuks to the babies that need them. Since he was not a baby anymore (wink wink) he needed to give them up soon. Well, one day we gathered up all his nuks and put them in a bag next to his bed and left the house. When we got back the Fairy had been there and she took them away! He asked for his nuk from time to time since them but I keep reminding him that the babies have them now since he is a big boy. Maybe you could tell your daughter that since she is a big girl the babies need here pacifier more then she does and just keep reassuring her that they are ok and being used and loved by other babies, like she used to be.
I hope that helps a little. Keep your chin up and remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!! LOL.

Ann Marie,
Oh boy! You're already on the road and you just have to keep moving! LOL I like the Build A Bear idea you've gotten. Can you get her a cool new lamp for her room or something? My son has a lamp that looks like race cars going around a track & he loves it! I agree with you that it's not good to keep allowing her in your bed. Just keep calmly putting her back in her own. Also, if she keeps talking about things being in her room, get a flashlight & go hunting together then leave the flashlight with her "in case she needs it again." We did that for my son and it seemed to make him feel better. If she won't nap--tell her she needs to take a "quiet time" on her bed with some books, puzzles & other quiet things. Good luck to you!

Hey,
Okay we just went through the same thing with our daughter. We eventually just got her to go to sleep with a doll baby that we already had. However, I have heard of this....Try taking her to a Build a Bear, when your making the bear take a binki that she likes and put it inside the bear before they close it up. That way she sees that her binki is in the bear and still close to her. She can take the bear to bed with her every night and the binki will be with her too. I don't know if it will work, but heck you guys need some sleep so I would give it a try. Especially since she's a little older and maybe it will be easier for her to understand. Good luck to you, and yes eventually it will get better. Hang in there.
C.

Ann Marie,
Completely understand your situation! My son did the exact same things! We just got rid of his this past November and he was about the same exact age as your daughter. I was so worried b/c he was addicted to his pacifier, my daughter was a peace of cake getting rid of it! Anyway, her schedule will be off for a bit, may be a week or so. We did spend a couple nights where we let him stay up a little longer and get real tired so he was easy to fall asleep. Also I tried everything under the sun to bribe him with, I would even let him pick something from his older sisters room to take to bed thinking that was something he never gets to do, nothing worked. what worked for him was that I let him take a small Nuby sippy cup to bed with just water in it! There was still a couple nights where he fussed for his pacifier at bedtime, but it was just habit for him. The sippy cup has a soft spout so it was the most similar thing to a pacifier and it helped to sooth him in a different manner. And it wasn't long before he got bored with the water and stopped drinking any at night, I let him still have the cup to go to bed even though he wasn't drinking the water for about another week and then took it away. It's now April and he's been without a cup for a couple months! So be patient and if you have to soothe her to sleep a night here or there its ok but definitely don't do it every night it WILL become a trend! The big thing is finding a substitution for her soothing herself. And keep her away from her thumb! As for the naps, I let my son go down later in the day, like an hour past normal bed time and he was TIRED! I can say though, he did start taking shorter naps after losing his pacifier, but he is a real light sleeper and he would use it to go back to sleep if he woke up. Your lucky that she stays asleep once she is asleep, my son started waking up through the night multiple times b/c he didn't have it to soothe him back to sleep and it was a rough few weeks getting his schedule back. We actually had to put a safety door knob on the inside of his door for about a week b/c I was so afraid he would get up in the middle of the night and I wouldn't hear him. Good luck and stick in there, start giving her some big girl things to do or treats or something extra special when she wakes up without using one. but don't mention the pacifier try to forget the word, just say that she is sleeping like a big girl now so she gets to do "this" or have "this." I tried to put myself in my sons shoes and though what if someone took my favorite pillow away or my bed and said I had to suddenly learn to sleep without it! Now I totally agree there is no weaning off the pacifier its just gotta go, but it is hard for them to figure out how to sleep without it! I would just remind myself that when i was exhausted and frustrated with the sleep schedule! Do not be afraid to let her cry it out, my son was real persistent he would scream for what seemed like forever, but now he doesn't even fight going to bed or nap ever, I say its time and he just goes and falls asleep instantly, we've actually had some friends mention that they couldn't believe how easy he goes down! So it might be tough now, but it will end and you may be better off with a better sleeper on your hands! Jennifer

Your daughter is at the age where she is big enough to be in a toddler bed or a twin bed of her own. Try to make that a big deal and switch her over. This may take her attention from the pacifier situation.

Hi I had the same problem a month ago and this worked wonders let me tell you. I started a new bedtime routine to distract from the thought of the pacifier. I now spend an hour getting him ready for bed dinner, bath, brush teeth, and then story time . My son was 3 when I took it away and had had it his entire life and this routine really worked great for me.

We may have the same issue soon, so I have no advice but am very interested in what ends up working for you. My son is 25 months old and he still takes the "nap nap" only for naps & bedtime - hence the new name for paci - nap, nap. Sometimes if he is overtired he'll go without one and when he falls asleep in the car he doesn't take one either. But I'm afraid we may have issues too and would love to hear what ends up working for you. I like the build a bear idea, maybe name him/her paci or whatever she calls her paci.

I am dealing with the exact SAME situation! she wants to go to the potty anything except stay in bed and she now climbs out of her crib since I took it away....HELP!

It may have less to do with the paci, and more to do with the age and a new age related fear of being alone. My little guy is the same age, and we go through the same thing. He wants me to lay down with him, which I do for a little while, attempt to get up and leave several times as he pulls me back down. I tell him I can not spend the whole night in his room, but will come back in and check on him when I'm done taking off my make up and will be there is he needs me. He seems to understand this and is fast asleep. Because we have had periods of him persistently being in our bed and trying to sit with us until we went to bed, I never ever allow him to leave the room after the light is out. His door knob is turned around to lock from the outside as he was up 12 times a night. There were some fits at first, but once he realized the way it would be, that was it.

Does she have a favorite stuffed animal? I know you said you gave her a doll, but is there a favorite TV animal that she likes. When we took my daughter's bottle away, we gave her a stuffed Barney. She still cried, but it was less and less. It may take her a week or two. But keep reassuring her that she is fine. Do you have a nightime ritual that you do with her? Read a book, have a snack, sing a song and then tuck her in bed.