Helping a 10Yo Lose Weight

It's very difficult to encourage a young child to lose weight. Chances are it's only going to hurt their self esteem and make matters worse. Not that by any means you would do that on purpose so please don't take it that way. My step daughter was severely overweight when I came into the picture (70 lbs, age 4, average height) My 8 year old son weighs less than that. What I did was put the whole house on a healthy living routine. NOT a diet. I tossed all junk food (ok i kept a well hidden mommy stash but still)stopped buying prepackaged foods and switched to whole foods and lots of raw fruits and veggies for snacks and at least once a week we went on an active family outing where we walked or hiked or something. I also set a specific time where they could watch tv, or play video games ect and kept it short so they would be more active. It was good for all of us Dh even lost needed weight, though for some reason it took a lot more than just those changes for me to. But if you offer healthy options, keep her out of the kitchen unless she's helping prepare meals and giving her healthy snacks and proper portions you should be able to do it just fine. Just remember though that encouraging a healthy lifestyle for your whole family is going to get you better results than trying to get your daughter to loss weight.

My advice is to make healthy eating and living a part of your family's lifestlye. That way you don't just focus on her. Try to eat healthy and encourage/plan active leisure activities (like bikeriding or playing catch). Please be very careful about what you are saying to your daugther. So often as women, it is easy for us to take our own body image issues or society's thought on what is good looking and push it on to our children. Your concern should be on her health not her weight. You don't want to give her self esteem issues because you are focused on her weight. I think if you just encourage a healthy and active lifestyle, it will become habit and stick with her for ever. Good luck.

We found that it was easier to not discuss weight at all. We eliminated salty (chips et.) and sweets(cookies, cake) from our house and replaced them with more fruits, veggies and other snack food that had fewer calories and were healthier. In the long run our whole family ate healthier. The other thing that worked was that I cleaned the fruit and vegetables when I came fromthe grocery and left the ready to grab and run in the fride. I found that the children would never take the time to wash celery etc. It helped to have them ready to eat.

This sounds hard but you have to stop talking about her weight gain or lack of lossing weight because it makes it harder for her. That is number one.
Number two: she may be going into puberty, and most girls get pudgy looking around then and it takes a year or so to get back the trimmer look.
Three: Make sure you have lots of healthy snacks in the house and make sure you are serving balanced meals. In place of puddings and ice cream try frozen juices many come in sugarless forms and yogurt even sugarfree jello. Fresh fruits at least twice a day in place of cookies, pies, etc. and cut up raw veggies make a great snack! I go back to my mother's original diabetic diet when I want to get the weight off again.
It is amazing that you can eat a jar of dill pickles and it didn't count on the calorie guide, raw celery, green pepper, lettuce, cauliflower, broccolli (sp), zuchini, etc. all have no calorie value and can be served with just a touch of fat free dressings without hurting much.
She should be eatting a balanced breakfast, mid-morning snack, balanced lunch, mid-afternoon snack, balanced dinner and evening snack.
Popcorn is great and you can sprinkle on a variety of toppings, cheese, cinnamon, garlic salt, etc. to dress it up and keep the calories down.
You have to learn to make exchanges too. If you are having rice, noodles, macaroni, or potatoes for dinner then no breads. If you are having corn or baked beans no other starches with the meal.
Watch salt intake (this is the hardest for me, sigh) and make sure she is getting plenty of liquids. I put a touch of lemon or lime in water and keep it in the frig all summer instead of koolaid type drinks and make a lot of iced tea.
Exercise is important too and isn't as easy for today's children as it was for mine because of the TV, Vido games, etc.
Take a walk or bike ride in the evening with her (around the block or whatever), make it family affair. We did it every night and had a contest type thing. Who could spot the most different birds, the most different trees, the most blue cars, whatever, and the winner got to choose the evening snack for the night for all of us. Swimming is great exercise. I used to lose at least 2 inches off my waist every summer just swimming.
Encourage her to help you find and clean the fruits and veggies for snacks and meals. She will learn to eat right and how to cook at the same time!

Be very careful how you handle this. I started gaining weight around age 10 due to a hormonal imbalance that didn't get diagnosed until I was 35. My mother didn't realize (and still doesn't) realize that my weight is largely due to a chemical imbalance in my body moreso than lack of willpower, and has made so many hurtful comments that remain in my memory to this day. "Nice boys don't like fat girls." "We don't want you to die." "Parent's shouldn't have to bury their children." (News flash: I'm not dead yet! and I married a WONDERFUL man!)

Just for precaution, you might want to have a bloodtest run by an ob/gyn - a great one is Jim Brillhart, Brillhart OB/GYN, 8040 Clearvista Pkwy, 5th floor, at the community North Campus. There are a few female ob/gyn's there too - Amy Hale is awesome too. I have PCOS. It's likely she could too, and they can tell by a blood test.

Also, more than focusing on that (my mother and father honestly can't not focus on my weight, and can't not bring it up at EVERY conversation - they've done this since I was 10, and I'm now 43), focus on what's in the house food-wise. Less cookies, more fruits/veggies. I wouldn't care if she only eats fruit...fruit is still better than any processed cookies/ice-cream/chips/etc. because it's "made by nature". Also, try to get her involved in some sort of activities. I loved playing volleyball.

Our daughter is 5 and has a little pudge, but we don't say anything to her about it at all, and don't plan to. She takes tumbling classes and LOVES it; she took swim lessons over the summer; and has taken ballet classes too. There has to be some activity she likes - and it isn't like she has to be an olympic star at it, it's for fun. (When it ceases to be fun, they won't be interested in doing it, so make sure it's fun and will stay fun!)

For what it's worth, and good luck!

Hi Danielle,

I understand that you want your daughters to be healthy, but I'm a little worried about the message you might be sending about appearance to a 10 year old. That's a common age for a bit of chubbiness to set in before puberty. Have you talked to your pediatrician about your daughter's weight? Make sure she's within the normal limits. She's still growing, and I remember that at around that age, my son would always fill out right before he suddenly grew a couple of inches in height.

Please be careful about commenting on your daughter's weight. At this stage in her life, comments like that ~ no matter how loving or constructive ~ translate to her as criticism and they are absolutely devastating. With every comment about her weight, you run the risk of making her feel like she isn't loved as much as she would be if she could just lose those few pounds. You could be setting her up for a lifetime of eating problems and unnecessary concerns about her weight.

Make sure you keep healthy food choices in the house. No sugar, and limit or totally avoid all dairy and wheat. If your daughter has taken antibiotics for any reason in the past year or so, she could have a systemic overload of yeast. My doctor always recommends eating a little bit of yogurt with active cultures with each dose of antibiotics, and to continue with the probiotic yogurt daily for a couple of months after the antibiotics. Yogurt is the only dairy product my doctor recommends.

My doctor has a very good "Diet For Life" plan that she created when she practiced pediatric medicine exclusively. As a matter of fact, her dietary advice is the reason she now has a family practice! Her young patients showed such great improvement, their parents began making appointments with her for their problems too. That's how I know this plan is not only safe for children, but designed for them originally.

If you're interested in learning about the plan, please send me a private message, and I'll send a copy to you. Or, if you're on facebook, we have a group there. The group is called Dr. Sandy's Diet For Life, and Dr. Sandy is a member. She doesn't give any medical advice on at the group (of course), but she is an active member, and she has started posting some of her favorite recipes. She will also be glad to help to explain the reasons why certain foods should be avoided at all costs, and others should be enjoyed to the fullest.

I would be very careful about encouraging her to lose weight. You are the parent and your influence is invaluable if used firmly and gently. I agree with Kari it's going to be a family healthy habit makeover. Most of the time I find we must get our own house (habits) in order before we can help someone else. I would focus on adding in nutrient dense WHOLE food: vegetables (especially), fruit, whole grains (not made from whole grains) and beans. If you eat meat then I'd buy the best quality you are able and use it as a side dish. Organic milk (or skip it) to avoid the hormones and eggs for optimal nutrition. Eliminate (or significantly reduce) processed, fast food. Soda's are probably the worse thing a child (or adult) can drink. If you guys do need to transition it may not be easy but WELL worth it and good for you for recognizing it now. Take baby steps and honor everyone for doing it.
You must first believe that the food you buy/prepare and provide makes a HUGE difference and then not waver on that.
Our children imitate what we do so if you want your child(ren) to eat vegetables you need to eat tons of vegetables.
If you drink soda (or eat junk food) they will too.

Finally, one of your biggest challenges is going to be what she gets offered at school. Besides the lunch room, they often get candy and other junk food for rewards and celebrations. Be BRAVE and approach other parents and administration to reconsider this practice. It is making our kids (literally) sick! Their learning environment is the last place they need to be jacked up on sugar and processed food void of nutrition.

Let me know if you want more ideas or support. Go see Food, Inc. if you have a chance. P.

Danielle - your situation speaks to my heart.

Speaking as a female that has struggled with my weight my entire life (I remember thinking that I needed to go on a diet in second grade) I can only comment on what I wish had been done for me and what I found over time worked for me.

I would advize not directly commenting on your daughters weight. From my personal experience, whenever someone commented on my weieght it sent me into a tailspin. No matter how loving a person tried to be, I was always very sensative and would seek comfort by eating - furtherring the problem.

My advice would be to address your daughters issue wholistically. Encorage her to be more active - without indicating her weight. Find something active that she likes, you may need to sign up for a few classes (dance, swim, horse - you name it) so that she finds something she enjoys doing and it isn't a burden. Also, make it a family affair - take a family walk after dinner, or bike ride in the park on a Saturday. Curb the family menu to be more fresh food rather than processed, take your daughter grocery shopping and let her help pick out the produce - try something new. Do not use food as a reward or punishment.

Also, eating may be to her like it was to me - a comfort. You may want to take a step back and observe your daughters eating habits. Is there a particular time/incident that she may eat when she may not be hungry? You may have to work backward to determine if there is an emotional or mental trigger. You mentionned that you have a surprise baby on the way - she may be having some issues with this which have triggerred her weight gain. Just a thought - I am far from a professional on the matter. Just stating what I have found has worked for me.

As a mother - we only want what is best for our childern. I'm sure whatever you do will be done out of love. Good luck with your little girl - I hope it all works out for you all.
-L.

First of all take her to the doctor to rule out any hormonal problems or metabolic disorders. Our friends are having issues with their daughter gaining weight and developing prematurely. The were able to indentify that she had a problem with her pituitary gland. Some kids have problems with willpower. Make sure she has plenty of healthy food choices available and the worse thing you can give you kid is diet soda. It forces the body to produce more insulin and has been shown to cause weight gain in children.

I'm a firm believer in setting the example and just not keeping junk food or high fat, sugary, and salty snack foods in the house. Making an active lifestyle that includes exercise and movement for everyone will make the shift without ever emphasizing her weight or size. If you are eating healthy, only offering nutritious tasty food and snacks, this is half the battle. The other part is making exercise a part of your families lifestyle. Caloric intake is huge. Have you ever noticed just how few calories you burn running on a treadmill? An hour is like burning off one chocolate chip cookie. Its just so much more effective to control portions and types of foods eaten.

Be very very careful. I was an overweight child and my mom tried everything. Unfortunaely all her attempts did was make me a neurotic mess which made me a comfort food addict.

My advice, if you can afford it, is to get her a Wii and maybe a Wii fit. My 7-year-old does the Wii fit with me, and understands how calories are burned. More than that, though, is that the games available are made for moving. But, since it is a video game, they aren't aware they are exercising. The boxing game that comes in Wii Sports is a good cardio exercise. An added bonus is fun with the family.

NO junk food or soda, and plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables.
Lay off white bread, pasta and white rice.
Encourage outdoor play, dancing and swimming, and bike riding.

In my opinion encouraging someone to lose weight has the opposite affect you are trying for. Why would a 10 year old need to be on a diet? My mother put me through the same thing. She even had "weight lose challenges" for me and my older sister. By her doing that I never felt good enough and did eventually gain weight. I still struggle with my weight and it has been 20 years. She is only 10 and eventually she will lose the "baby weight". She can't be that overweight if you are saying she only needs to lose a little. Just don't make her feel like she has to be a size 2 because it may backfire on you and she may develop serious eating habits.

Dannielle,
You say she just needs to lose "a little".... how much does she weigh, and is her pediatrician concerned about it?

You've received a lot of good advice, as for eating a healthy diet of fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. And for an active lifestyle for the whole family, not just one member.

The only thing I did not see mentioned was television and video games.... I urge you (if you haven't already) to limit your daughter's total screen time to 1 hour a day.

J.

I would make sure that you are following a low glycemic diet, avoiding processed foods especially those with high fructose corn syrup and aspartame, and getting regular exercise. You may also want to make sure that the level of estrogen to progesterone is in its appropriate relationship which can be done with a blood test. If there is not enough progesterone or if there is too much estrogen in the body, the thyroid doesn't work right which totally messes with metabolism typically presenting in weight gain. These are just a few ideas and a place to start. Please, whatever you do, don't simply cut calories as that will trick the brain into thinking you are starving which will result in weight gain in the form of fat. Good luck!

I agree with what everyone has said about being very careful with this. Girls especially are SO sensative, and a 10 year old can carry emotions about this for a life time.

I agree with the last person, I wouldn't even mention the weight. I especially would not mention clothing sizes, because they are just arbitrary numbers. I would encourage taking steps to 'feel better,' because that's what this should be about. Talk about how energized you feel after eating healthy, whole foods. Talk about how fun it is to be active and do fun things together as a family. Telling a child they need to lose weight will only cause frustration, confusion, and low self esteem. Instead, encouraging a positive way to live.

Dannielle,
I know you have received alot of responses about your daughter. I do believe that receiving optimal levels of balanced nutrition is huge. I attached a link to our website which you can watch some short videos or read specific articles.
I really want to invite you on a Tuesday night to Corporate College East. There we share with others what our products are doing. My girlfriend's daughter is on our products and prior was really battling with weight. I would love for you to meet and talk with her, hearing about her daughter's results. Please let me know if I can help.

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Sincerely,
A.
www.HopeShared.com

Might get a copy of HELPING YOUR CHILD LOSE WEIGHT THE HEALTHY WAY by Judith Levine and Linda Bine

In addition, make SURE not to keep things around the house to sabotage or temp her. When one person in the family needs to change, it's best to get EVERYONE on the band wagon and get healthier, EVEN if they don't need to lose weight. It will be MUCH easier for her if she knows she's got the support of the entire family.

Make SURE she's staying active. DO things WITH her, like bike riding, walking, jumping rope, etc. Encourage AND LEAD BY EXAMPLE in activity.

Make sure she doesn't skip meals, maybe cut back on portion control. EDUCATE YOURSELF AND TALK ABOUT reading labels, portion sizes, etc. Rememeber this is a LIFESTYLE change you want to make, not just something temporary.

Try something new each week from the produce section. Learn how to prepare, store, etc. the new food. Three courtesy bites, then if you don't like it, that's okay, but at least you tried. Make it fun. Learn WHERE it comes from, how does it grow, etc. Food and nutrition is a HUGE education process that is LIFE LONG.

Have her help plan menus - she's certainly old enough. Make sure snacks are HEALTHY and NOT processes. Make sure she's getting plenty of water and NO sodas, even diet. Women should never drink sodas anyway, especially diet because of the phenylenaline (the chemical in artificial sweentner that promotes bone loss)

Make it an education and fun experience for everyone and get everyone involved.

Try to use mummy magic tea... It`s work naturally and quickly...
God bless you!!!

I know it's difficult not to put pressure on children and their weight. I do think though that "encouraging" her to lose weight may feel more like pressure to her. The best thing is to try to make her feel accepted for who she is and just prepare healthy meals and snacks. Some kids gain weight at that age and lose it later. The other thing you can do is involve the entire family in physical activities so as not to single her out and make her feel like there is something wrong with her. Sometimes as parents we have to learn to let go of what we expect our children to be and love them for who they are. If her weight is an "issue" now, please make sure that the encouragement to lose weight doesn't affect her self esteem later.

I agree with the other moms that you should only be working on the weight loss if it's been recommended/supported by her pediatrician. Something else to think about - perhaps this is not the best time to be working on the weight loss issue with her. You mentioned a surprise baby is due in August - she could be gaining weight in sympathy to your pregnancy - I know my husband did every time I was pregnant - maybe that happens with kids too if they are old enough and I would think 10 would be old enough? Also, it may be kind of hard for her to accept that she needs to lose weight while you are gaining, even if it is because of the baby. Also - she'll be adjusting to the new baby as well - which could also impact her attitude and efforts around any needed weight loss. Good luck.

Hi Dannielle,

Kids like to play and have fun so why not try Wii Fit? Your post did not give specifics so I might be way off base. But programs like TV's The Biggest Loser all stress sound nutrition (foods we take in must be in the correct proportions and be from the earth i.e. a veggie or have a mother i.e. chicken) and aerobic and anarobic exercise. There is no magic formula. So unless your child has a metabolic disorder, her nutrition or her exercise is out of balance. My kids play sports, ride bikes on the bike trail, will go for a 3-mile hike at the park, ski etc and we do it as a family. Encouraging words are always good but the entire family should model healthy eating and exercising as well as having fun. If your daughter doesn't respond to a balanced diet and exercise then you need to see the pediatrician.

Eating healthy food as a family will help. No processed foods (especially boxed foods). More veggies, whole grains, and beans, less fatty foods, white bread, and sugar. She'll feel singled-out and may rebel if you make her change her eating habits without changing everyone's.

Check out Dr. Sears's "Family Nutrition" book and LLL publication "Whole Foods for the Whole Family".