My son is 16 and an only child. He is very bright but doing poorly in school. He is ADHD but I do not want to put him on subscription meds. he has behavioral issues as well, including defiance, disrespect, etc.
I have been searching for a professional to whom he can relate and work with for however long he needs.
He does not have a good relationship with his father!
my 6 yr old has adhd,ODD and the help i have for him is thru the county mental health agency... he has a ICM
Hi A.,
I would check out some alternative products such as Omega 3's for your sons ADHD. Check out www.lifeguardforlife.com. Many times ADHD can be treated with omegas - even more effectivly than perscriptions. Our bodies are naturally depleated of omegas - and they are absolutly essential for all people. I take them every day and give them to my 9 month old son.
By the way, although only have an infant, and do not know much about you or your son, but he sounds pretty normal for a 16 year old boy - I grew up with 2 older brothers - that by todays standards would be diagnosed with ADHD- but infact they are just 2 normal IRISH tempered guys.
Good Luck!
Patty Gatter
maybe you could just talk with him and reward him for good behaver and all
I understand the reluctance to medicate, but consider how long you are willing to allow his disorder to completely disrupt his life without trying it. Very consistent behavior management plans are known to work, but they need to be VERY consistent - at home & at school. You can try dietary changes as well, but that is hit or miss until you find something that has an effect.
Unfortunately, now you are faced with not only a child with AD/HD, but a teenager with AD/HD. Do more research on AD/HD treatments - read the scientific research on effective treatment - meds aren't for everyone, but they have saved some kids' lives!!
There is also research that suggests that children with AD/HD who are not on meds may "self-medicate" when they enter adolescence. They are looking for ways to "change" how they feel & turn to drugs & alcohol for that effect. I don't know... If your son had another condition, you would consider all treatments, wouldn't you? Living with AD/HD is a hard road - I know!!
I am with you on the meds. My daughter suffers depression and I resisted starting the meds, then a friend asked me if my daughter had high blood pressure would I start medication. Of course the answer was yes. We ended up going on medication and life is much better today than it was a year ago. Anyway, you are the only one who can make that decision, although I guess your son is old enough to contribute. Perhaps having a sit down with him and asking how he feels about it- does he want to work hard and do better, and how does he feel about being on meds.
The other thing that has helped immensely is our church youth group. The positive energy of the group has been a very good influence and her focus has changed from herself to a greater good. When she's down or frustrated, she calls the youth minister or one of the other kids and they help her. She also has a really good time! We are at St David's in Peters. I'm glad to share more if you are interested.
I am glad that you don't want to medicate him.
It seems to "fashionable" these days to label a normal kid as ADD or ADHD simply because they are defiant, can't sit still for long, energetic, etc. and then smother them in medications.
He may have some issues that he does not know how to cope with or talk about and those hidden issues are causing his behavior problems.
A therapist would be a fantastic idea for him. That way, he could feel safe that he won't be punished for what he says in that forum.
I recommend the book, "Try and Make Me!" - here's the Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Try-Make-Me-Ray-Levy/dp/0451206452/...
It is probably the best book I've found to date in dealing with defiant children. It is written on a 'normal' level, it has honest-to-God real situations and the most practical advice I've ever found.
As far as medicating for ADHD... I have a 7 1/2 year old son who has the same traits as your son (smart, doing poorly in school, extremely defiant, etc.). 2 years ago, he was dx's with ADHD and I held off on medication - actually had NO plans to medicate! But, after spending a whole day alone with him (no other brothers here to distract, etc.) on Memorial day, I realized that at least trying medication might help him as much as it would help me and the rest of our family. The reason was b/c he asked if we could watch a movie & snuggle, but the whole time we were trying to watch the movie, he could NOT stop talking or sit still. It finally dawned on me - I love having "quiet" time - be it reading a book, watching a movie, etc. My son was incapable of having it and was really missing out on something nice (in my opinion).
Since that time, he's had several changes as his body builds up tolerances and we find what works best for him. He's not a zombie, but it just allows the "real" kid to come through without all the endless chatter, distraction and frustration on everyone's part.
Someone once wrote that the meds help the brain focus much as eyeglasses help someone see better by focusing the eyes. You wouldn't prevent your child from getting glasses if they needed them, right? So why prevent medications which could help focus their thinking much as their vision would be corrected?
hi A.,
hi my name is L.. i have a 16 y/o that has adhd. he was in a aps school. he was in pace for 1 yr and in holy familys for 1 yr. these schools are wonderful. i have a daughter that is 12 and she has adhd n bi polar. she went to a school called presly ridge for 3 yrs. the class rooms are smaller. there are 2 teachers 2 a class and a consoulor. they both take meds which help alot.you might wanna try the meds that might be enough to get him on track. u man also wanna talk to the staff at his school about possible gettin him in an aps.(aps) is a partshoul hospital school. i can go on and on about stuff like this, so u can im me or email me if u would like to talk some more. ____@____.com free to im me or email me any time. good luck
Are you looking for a psychologist type? If so, where are you located?
Hi A.. Do u live in Philadelphia? If so, i work for DHS and there are tons of programs that could give you and ur son a little guidance!!! The program I work with is only for kids 10-15 so I cant refer him to our program. But I will give you a number for our Internal Referral System. The womans naem is Michelle preston and her # is ###-###-####.
Hope this brings you some help!!!
I have an only child daughter who is 15 and I completely identify with what you are going through. Her father lives out of state and is a father of convenience at best. Her time with him is like a vacation, he doesn't have any of the day to day challenges that come along with raising a teenager in 2007.
Since you are a teacher in a high school, I'm sure you can take some comfort in knowing that your son's behavior isn't completely out of line for a child his age. What makes it hard is that the disrespect and defiance is at home and so personal. The problem is that our children know we love them unconditionally and they don't have that relationship with their other parent. All you can do is worry about the rules in your home with your son, try not to get involved in his relationship with his Dad. (I know how hard that is.)
I'm not sure what area you are from but my daughter saw a counselor in Malvern and she is wonderful. A friend of my daughters has also gone to this person. Email me back and I can give you the details. I'd also love to commiserate about the challenges of teenagers!
Hang in there.
L.
____@____.com
