Help with Hysterectomy

Ahhhh M.. I got nothin' for you here... other than to let you know I love you and to CALL ME if you need to talk... you know I'm always here!!

You may be past the point where you want to try this but I thought I'd mention it. There is a lot that can be done with herbs, acupuncture, chiropractor, etc. if you find the right help. If you want to start some research start here:
http://www.herballegacy.com/Cysts.html

and just see if it is right for you. You would have to be committed to possibly taking a lot of herbs to fix your problem, but it would be worth it if you could avoid surgery, and if you can do it safely.

M.,

I am SO sorry you're going through this. I began having cysts and endometriosis at 14. I've gone through the pain of the grapefruit-sized cysts. I have one son that was a very, very difficult pregnancy. After he was born, it was a very short period before the cysts and endometriosis came back. The doctor who worked with me with my son's pregnancy was the fifth doctor I had been through. The others tried "everything" and finally recommended a hysterectomy. I felt like I wasn't ready for that because I didn't want to have a hysterectomy before I'd ever even had sex, prior to my husband (probably TMI). My son was a HUGE surprise to my husband and I because even this doctor had told me that I was in such bad shape I would never conceive.

So, there's the back story. I am 32. After my son was born, my doctor (and second opinions) said any more pregnancies would be potentially fatal. So, we decided to go with the hysterectomy.

I won't lie. The permanency of it at this age IS very hard. Even though we decided this was the best choice for us (and we did try a lot of the natural healing stuff first), it's still sometimes hard. My sister-in-law has a theory that the body is on a 9 month-ish cycle where every nine months you go through a "baby hungry" phase. For me, it's just a random day or two here and there where I feel pretty down about not having the option. At first, baby showers for friends and family and functions where there were very many babies were horrible. Now, I'm okay. The sad periods are fewer and further between, and last for less time. It gets much better.

I kept my ovaries. I still get cysts. That's the down side of keeping them. Since the ovaries still cycle, it's still possible. Since I haven't done hormones, I can't comment much on that. The cysts are smaller and not as frequent, though.

Here are the UP sides of having a hysterectomy-
Birth control is no longer an issue, providing the option for more "spontaneity" which is awesome!!!
No more periods!!! That is also awesome. For me, that means no more migraines, mood swings, etc.
The endometriosis goes dormant. It helps a ton.
I feel GOOD. No more spending days at a time not being able to get out of bed, no more feeling like I can't be there to help take care of my family.

Ultimately, of course it's your choice. My doctor, even there in the hospital on the day of the surgery, would ask women if they were still sure they wanted to go through with it. He took it very seriously.

I do not regret having this done, even on the "bad" days. For me, it needed to be done. I was able to have it done laproscopically (sp?), and the recovery wasn't too difficult at all (compared to some of the other surgeries).

Sorry for the epic reply, but it just hit so close to home. Good luck, whatever you decide. Feel free to PM me, if you'd like. It's always nice to have someone who understands.

Hi M.,
I have no experience with hysterectomy but i do know of a really good book regarding women's health issues. It is called "women's bodies women's wisdom" by Dr, Christianne Northrup.It is really good, there is alot of mind body connection and it would help weather you have the procedure or after. Good luck!

When we had our 5th child, we knew we done having kids. Like you, I couldn't deal with the emotions of physically being unable to have more kids. I had a c-section and it would've been easy to tie my tubes at that time. Instead, we elected to have my husband's tubes tied. (mostly his idea)

Anyway, almost a year later, (and even with his tubes tied) I still sometimes worry about getting pregnant. I know I'm done having kids. I wish I'd just done it.

Instead of thinking about what you might miss, think about being able to do more things as your kids grow up - going more places, trips, vacations, hobbies, spending time with hubby, etc.

My husband and I always wanted 6 children. We get pregnant right away with # 1&2, then started having problems. We eventually had #3&4, but not without surgery to clean up scar tissue, etc. Another problem was my horrible morning sickness - I would get dehydrated and have to get IV fluids. And my last 2 were placenta previa, so I was down in bed for 4 months with each. So . . .after all this, we had already decided to have my tubes tied, and be happy with 4 healthy sons. When #4 was born I started bleeding out, so the C-section turned into a hysterectomy. I thought I was fine with that, since we had already decided we were done, but 4 years later I was still feeling kinda incomplete.

Long story short, we became foster parents and ended up adopting 2 beautiful girls. It is not an easy decision to have a hysterectomy - I was happy the choice was kinda taken out of my hands - but I know my health is better because of that surgery.

Good luck!

Dear M.,
It sounds to me that you are fairly comfortable with your decision to not have more children, but more worried about what would happen if you changed your mind. I am now a grandmother, and into my fifties, and I STILL see little babies, and think how wonderful it would be to have a baby to snuggle into my neck, and to smell the sweet baby smells. I don't think that changes ever in a person who has a mother's heart. I now fill that need with my grandbabies.
I had my first baby at 26,the second one at 28,and my last two at 33. For two years after I had my twins, my periods became longer & heavier each month. When they were heavy for three weeks out of the month, my doctor said that we needed to do something about it. I was bleeding out!
I had to think about many things, before I made my decision to have my hystercetomy. How would I feel if I lost all four of my children in some kind of accident? Would I want more children? I could see myself maybe wishing I could have more in my heart, but I had to think in my mind, I didn't want to run a risk of the higher defect rate in "older" moms. I would NEVER be able to replace the children I had lost. The health I was in, kept me from being my best for the children I had. I was asked, "Do you think it will make you feel like less of a woman?" Heck no! I was NOT much of one the way I was!!! After the surgery, I felt great, and I had my life back. Your baby making package is NOT what makes you a woman!
After my surgery, the doctor told me that I had SEVERAL two inch fibroids, and THOUSANDS of very tiny ones. They did not develope over just two years, and he was suprised that I was able to give birth to the four I had. For me the surgery was the best thing I have ever done. No more periods, no pain,and no worries of having another baby that I could not comfortably cloth & feed.
If your husband is away from you a lot, make sure that you have someone who can help you for a short bit of time, because, as with any surgery, you will take a bit of time to recover. My hubby was wonderful about helping me, as was my mom. Good luck, and remember there are people who care.

Hi, M.!

I can empathize with you. I am 29 years old, with two kids, a boy and a girl. After my son was born six years ago, I slowly started having problems. When he was four, the problems got worse. I would start a cycle, then it would NEVER stop. The bleeding was heavy, and I was always tired, grouchy, and I absolutely could not leave the house without packing an extra set of clothes around. The medication I tried was clomid and progesterone. The progesterone actually made the flow heavier for about two weeks then it would finally stop, only to start again a week later. I did not know what the problem was, only that I was miserable. I could not even go to the school to pick up my kids without soaking through a tampon and a pad. I saw my doctor several times and tried so many different things. Finally I came to the decision that I needed a hysterectomy. It was difficult! I wanted a third child (in theory lol) but I had tried for years to get pregnant with no luck. I had the hysterectomy in September, a month before my 29th birthday. I can honestly say that it was the best decision! I was miserable before physically and emotionally but I have not felt this good in a long time. When they got the uteris out, they found that I had no normal tissue left. I never would have gotten pregnant anyway, and I can tell you that I do not regret having the hysterectomy in the slightest.

About the surgery. The easiest way to do it is vaginally. (They can do it laproscopically or c-section as well) I went in early in the morning. The worst part was getting the IV put into my hand but that was because I have a valve in the vain they used. They moved me into the operating room and put me under. When I woke up I shook for a while like I did after I delivered a baby. I wont lie; it was painful. They gave me pain medication and hooked me up to one of those pain systems that you punch the button and it gives you a boost of medication. They did my surgery vaginally so they didnt have to make any incisions in my abdomin (this is the best way to go if they can do it that way, the healing is so much quicker). I was then moved to my private room on the maternity floor. I spent the night in the hospital. The next morning I was allowed to eat. Before I could be discharged I had to get up out of bed and urinate in the bathroom. I was allowed to get up a little bit as well and walk and look at the newborns which was nice. The car ride home was hard. I wore a night gown and my bathrobe home. I laid the seat back as far as it would go to get more comfortable. When I got home I stayed downstairs (climbing stairs will be hard for the first week) on the couch. I was not allowed to lift anything (so you need to make arrangements for your kids) and I couldnt drive so I had to walk to get my kids from school. If you can do this before school starts I reccommend it! You will move really slow at first. But it gets better. The pain medication was great. Within two weeks I felt great. I still couldnt lift anything and had to walk but it is really easy to over do it, even if you feel better.

Now I am happy, healthy, am able to loose weight (which I struggled with before) and have not felt this good in a very long time. I think that it was one of the best things I have done. I hope that my novel (lol) helps you. If you want a shoulder to lean on, feel free to send me a private message. Good luck, and remember to take care of yourself!

M., I had to have a hysterectomy at the age of 32 i am now 34. I have one boy and one girl. I get where you are coming from. It is very permanent and seeing others pregnant or just having a new baby or even a toddler is difficult. It isn't easy, and its not fun. It is an emotionally tough situation. If you know that you and your husband are done having children and the doctors say it is a good idea (please get a second opinion)and you know that you will feel better and because of that, be a better Mom go for it. The operation can be done a few different ways. Research and ask questions about the procedure and the pain medication, the recovery. For me it was an odd situation and my recovery was six weeks. But I feel good and because I have one ovary left I do not need to be on any hormone replacement medication. There is a bunch to consider. The hysterectomy itself wasnt a bad experience for me, it is definately not being able to add to my family, but I know that i can with adoption or foster care. There are options out there for you to explore. Good luck and may God Bless you.

M.

Dear M.,
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. It is a difficult idea to have to wrap your head around with such permanence. I have had a friend who at age 29 was given an emergency hysterectomy. Later to find out it wasn't necessary. She started to take hormones to regulate the surge of unbalanced hormones she had.

ALthough I have not experienced a hyserectomy I have experienced crazy hormones from seven pregnancies. Have they given you hormone balancing as an option? Like you I have had a large cyst on my right ovary for many years, it sometimes hurts when pressed but has not caused many more issues & is benign.

Have you given hormone balancing any thought? It is NOT hormone replacement which has adverse effects. This is just helping your body to naturally balance the hormones that may be causing your body stress (example the cyst). I use a great one called Prolief. But you may need the one with added phyto estrogens called Phyto prolief. If a hysterectomy is inevitable you will definetly need the Phytoprolief.

My friend who had the hysterectomy is an awesome lady & a great resource. I know she would be happy to talk with you. Take care my dear. G

I am a total believer in natural healing. I know it works. You need to be able to make progesterine. You are most likely estrogen dominant. YOu have all the symptoms of this horrible hormone. I was also estrogen dominant for years, it even caused me to have premature babies. I got some wild yam cream and used it as directed, I also cut out all milk that wasn't organic, I stopped eating beef because they are injected with estrogen to make them fat (higher price). I feel like I have my life back. I am also premenapausal right now and have no night sweats, or all those horrable things an unbalanced body gets. You can still get the hysterectomey if you choose, but the estrogen dominance will still be there until you are treated for that. I recommend to hold off on the surgery until you get your hormones under control. On the web, google estrogen dominance and read more. Good Luck!

I can't help w/the hysterectomy, but I can tell you about not being able to have kids at a young age. My hubby has 2 older boys & we have 2 together. We decided after our 4th wasn't a girl (we'd been trying-4 times!) that we weren't going to have any more. We'd need another bedroom, we would fill our van w/kids & not have space for a friend or emergency extras, we'd have an uneven number (the older 2 pal around & the younger 2 do), hubby was getting older (he's 7 years older than me) & didn't want to start over w/more babies...
He got a vasectomy since it's easier on a male's body than a female's to be "fixed" & we had one baby under a year old who would need mama full time w/o competing w/surgery recovery. Plus, he's military too & that would put him on con leave when my family came out to visit (bonus!).
I was 28 when he was fixed. Our first baby came just before I turned 24 & #2 was at 27. I had always wanted tons of kids & I thought I'd do a lot of mourning over the kids I wouldn't ever have. Financially, it was the most responsible decision we could make though, since we were supporting 2 & he was paying child support. Honestly, when we first made the decision to not have any more kids, I went off & cried for a while. I still feel sad now & then when I hold somebody's baby, or see a pregnant woman, but not like I thought I would. Once we made the decision, it was actually easier than I thought it would be on me to know there would be no more. We have 2 boys-1st was an accident & the 2nd one was planned. We tried twice. Knowing that there would be no accidental babies, or having to switch up birth control when we didn't like the way it was working, knowing that was the last of the bottles/diapers/middle-of-the-night feedings & unhappy babies... It was hard & still is now & then but I just tell myself then that "I can pass this baby back when he cries or needs a diaper change". It's kind of fun to pass them back actually.
Good luck w/your decision! Read as much as you can about hysterectomies (I had an emergency c-section & knowing about it in advance made me much less nervous when the doc dropped that bomb on us), see if you can find a book or two about women who can't have more kids (ask the librarian).

My mom had a total hysterectomy when I was 16 and has had trouble ever since. She is EXTREMELY EMOTIONAL! The hormone replacement they put you on is very bad, causes cancer, and is not regulated to your personal body.

So my few suggestions before you get one and after I hope help.

1. I don't know if you accept natural medicine, but I had severe problems with both my ovaries and my uterus. After I had my twins I bleed like a stuck pig straight for 14 months! I went to MD's and they did everything that they thought they could do. Before I had an ablasion therapy done I went to a natural doctor. He put me on a medicine called Utrophin and Ovex. You can also order these off line at standardprocess.com Within 2 months I had no problems. I took it for 4 months and am off of it and still have not had any problems. So that might be a way to help you. ( I had a cyst on one ovary and a hematoma in my uterus)

2. My mom heard and went to a pharmacist who gets the chemical needs of a woman and makes their estrogen for them. She did a test (I think it was a bloodwork test) and he found out how much estrogen, progesterone and testosterone her body needed to be "normal". My mom wasn't a crazy woman anymore.

I didn't want to discourage you, I hope that these suggestions help.

M.,
I really feel for you. Clearly you are really going through a lot with this, which is understandable.

First, I want to just suggest that you can and should have the hysterectomy done laparoscopically. If your doctor is not skilled in this or doesn't offer it, please check elsewhere and find another surgeon who does it laparoscopically, because the difference between open surgery and lap surg is enormous. You will feel so much better, so much faster, with the lap option. I'm a medical writer - I have been working with the dept. of surgery at Columbia University, NY, for 8 years, and I also know people personally who have gone through both options.

Second, I want to say that you are right to address all the emotional aspects... you need to grieve the loss of that part of your life. Since this is happening at such a young age, especially, it's really important to accept all those feelings. I imagine that in time, you'll come to peace with it. Who knows, perhaps you'll find other ways to expand your family, if you still want to have more children. It does sound like for your health, though, it's something you simply have to accept doing.

I really wish you the very best. Take care.
S.

M.,

My sister had a hysterectomy in her thirties as well due to endometriosis. She has done fine and got through it wonderfully - no more pain or periods! :)

I found out at 31 that I had "premature ovarian failure" and couldn't have children. Basically, I ran out of eggs and had premature menopause!

It is hard when you find out the choice to have or not have children is no longer yours to make. You will need to work through those emotions and it will take time. I actually was found out about my issue before I had children - so it was doubly hard, but God blessed me with 2 step-children AND 2 wonderful babies via adoption. There are still moments I go through the "what if" process but not very often and my family is so amazing!

As far as hormones are concerned... there are many routes and they are MUCH safer than they used to be. I have gone for 10 years without hormones and only had to deal with hot flashes.. they are finally so bad this year that I cannot sleep and I have finally started a very low dose of hormones to make them stop. I tried the natural remedies and none worked for me.

My sisters symptoms were worse - really intense hot flashes, mood swings, sadness... and she is on a low dose estragen each month and is doing great.

I discussed it all with my Dr and did my own research on all of it. You need to decide what is best for you. Talk to you husband and your Doctor.

Good luck and God Bless -
C.