Help with Bulimia Care

I am so sorry you are going through this.

This is a very difficult, resistant disease to treat. It is hard to find treatment centers for this.

Please,please have your entire family involved in the counseling: attend family nights, family therapy, and even individual appointments with the therapists if they recommend it. This is not just her disease. But carefully follow the recommendations of her therapists.

Treatment may take awhile, and may be expensive requiring family to spend days or weekends close to the facility.

There are frequent relapses. Learn to be supportive when this happens and see that the person needs more support at these times. Relapses are just small set backs and not a sign of failure.

Some people find support at OA (Over Eaters Anonymous). You can call and find out information about local meetings and family support.

I wish you luck, strength and peace.

I don't have any experience with eating disorders, but i have learned a few things from my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic.

This is a disease. That's very important to remember. It is a true disease, and you must treat it as a disease. This is not about vanity or about will power. This is a disease that has always been a part of her and always will be. Her doctors will help her learn some ways to deal with the emotions and situations and the triggers that precede the behavior. You have to take these very seriously and really work as a family in whatever way you can. For example, there is no alcohol in our house. None. I don't drink it, and I don't cook with it At restaurants we make sure the server checks with the kitchen to see if there is any alcohol in anything. It doesn't matter that "all the alcohol cooks away" (which is actually not true). My husband can smell it and taste it and it bothers him. So there's just no reason for it.

You will never understand. You won't. You can't relate. So try hard not to try to understand. Accept that this is real for her. Listen very carefully to the doctors and counselors. They might have phrases and language they use and they encourage you to use that will be helpful. But you have to work really hard to stop yourself when something doesn't make sense ... when your daughter is saying A, B or C and you can't wrap your brain around it It's hard, but you have to remind yourself that your job isn't to understand, it's to accept and support.

And seek out support for yourself (which you mentioned). You might need your own counselor who can help you know the best ways to support your daughter and the best things to keep in mind during these first few months and year. If you have trouble finding someone in your area, ask the staff at the hospital for help. They should know the professionals in your area.

You can do this! Be strong, and don't let your daughter give up!

I'm so sorry - this is a tough disease. A dear friend went through it with her daughter. You are doing the right thing by using a Children's Hospital. The social workers there will help you as well - tell them what you told us. They will connect you with family support groups and include you in some of the therapy. Your daughter is still a minor so you will be entitled to info from her own therapy sessions even if you don't attend (you won't attend all, you may attend a few, it depends). They were instrumental for my friend in telling her what to say and what not to say.

My friend also got support from the local Ronald McDonald House, which gave her housing to be near the hospital some of the time. Find out if there is a similar resource - again, her therapists and social workers will know all of this.

Advocate for your daughter and get her the best help you can find, but let them do their jobs. Sometimes the simplest things that family members think are helpful actually are not. You don't want to inadvertently undermine anything they are doing. And just because she doesn't get better right away doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the program - it takes time.

Good luck to her and to all of you.

Kudos to you for reacting and getting your daughter into counseling and hospitalization. That very well may have saved her life. Since those who suffer from eating disorders often times are able to hide their addictions, it makes it difficult to get them into treatment early enough.

You daughter is young, and that will be helpful in managing her treatment. A hospital will monitor her closely, and they assign social workers to help assist in her daily treatment plan and also ensure that once she is discharged continue with treatment providers on an outpatient level. As well as set her up with continued counseling services for herself and for your family. Make sure to utilize, advocate, and support.

A social worker will also help you locate specific OA( overeaters anonymous) groups in your area. These will be helpful in finding peer support and sponsors to help guide your daughter in recovery..

As any addiction, their may be times of relapsing. Unfortunately that happens with recovery. It is important that this be met with support, encouragement, and communication. Often times they feel ashamed, guilty, and will withdraw from treatment for a time. So it is important that if that occurs, you provide her with all the outlets and meetings for support.

Lastly, she is your daughter. Love, support, and gentle words of encouragement, concern, and a " you can do this" approach will go far for her.

I've worked with many women and some men who have struggled with eating disorders. Some have been in recovery for years.. each one says they just take it one day at a time. Finding a good outlet, supportive friends, self help books, yoga, mindfulness, and other tools have been helpful for them towards recovery.

Good luck! The first initial step is always the hardest.

oh, damn. i'm so sorry. that is a bastard disease, and i hate that young women (yes, men too, but overwhelmingly women) have to cope with that on top of regular real world pressures.
i have someone close to me who went through it. and as odd as it seems, the support she got from her mother, who truly adores her, was smothering and unhelpful. love and support needs to be clear-eyed and practical, not so all-encompassing that the patient is suffused in glory and convinced that she's really an angel being thus afflicted in order to enlighten lesser beings (there's a best-selling book on anorexia and bulemia that pushes this exact mindset. gah!)
excellent doctors and programs, as well as ongoing therapy, did the trick. she'll always suffer from it, just as alcoholics can recover but not be cured. but she's a healthy confident adult now with children of her own.
good luck, mama.
khairete
S.

Go to the counseling sessions with her and without her. This is something she learned AND developed over time. There will be triggers down this path to recovery. If the problems, might not think they're problems, at home aren't addressed and fixed she will be coming home to the same exact situation and she'll act exactly the same way.

I have much more experience with this than I would like, and I'm from your area. I'm glad you're getting your daughter help. Unfortunately, as far as support groups go, I haven't had any luck, but you're about an hour north of me, so maybe you'll find one. I sent you a private message.

I hope your daughter does well in treatment.