Help with a Toddler That Creates Piles of Things in the Living Room

I wouldnt think too much in to it. Her little mind is still growing and changing, and who knows what her reasons are. But its not destructive behavior, actually it suonds completely normal. "Gathering" is a very normal behavior for kids. You could have the opposite which I do where my almost two two year old leaves a trail EVERYWHERE he goes lol. My entire house is constantly littered with random toys, shoes, cell phones etc. I dont bother picking it up until he goes to bed!

i think its normal too. My son does that, and he's starting to even pile up things that aren't toys (the pillows off the couch, etc). They're just kids and they're just playing. There's nothing to intepret there. It's impossible to read kid's minds and what entertains them sometimes!!!

Hi N. - don't think too hard about that one. I am 100% confident it is NOT hoarding behavior. She is building something and it's her creation. She is using her imagination which is vitally important to her development and she feels really proud of her masterpiece.

What you see as a pile of misplaced toys and clothes that need to be put away, she sees as a castle. Give her some space to explore and build and when she's "done" with her castle, you can clean up until the next time.

She sounds like a wonderful, bright, healthy and happy little girl. Don't stress - grab some carpet and play castle with your little blessing.

p.s. my 3yr old created something a little different last week. He took 2 empty plastic storage boxes and turned them over. He put another toy box on top of those and a red sand bucket on top of that and another plastic bowl on top of that. He was building a robot. He used swim flippers for feet. Inside the red bucket he had wadded up some paper and added a pink bean bag from the tictactoe game (that was the brain). He used drumsticks for arms etc. etc etc. I lived with that "creation" in my entryway for 3 days until he finally was mostly just leaving it alone. That evening, I cleaned up and put everything away and he didnt say a word. He just built something new and went on his way.

I couldn't help by laugh when I read this. I can just picture this "castle" in my head. I don't think there is anything to worry about. You should handle it by letting her build her castle every morning. Maybe it just makes her feel secure to have the same things surround her everday or maybe she likes it because it is all hers.

I think it is normal. My 2 1/2 year old son use to do this, and he would go back to the pile and play with everything he put in there.

I agree with all the other moms :) Sounds normal to me. My three year old daughter has similar behavior. My husband says she is our "little old bag lady" because she will put things into her stroller, her backpack or her baby doll's play bath tub and carry (or stroll) them around with her EVERYWHERE she goes. She even has to take her "pile" of stuff to the bathroom with her when she needs to pee haha Mostly she says that she doesn't want her little sister to "get it". Overall she is a good sharer as you were saying, but sometimes showing a bit of possessiveness can be a good thing. I just remind her to be generous when she get's over the top. Girls will be girls!!

Sounds normal to me. I've got a 9yr old daughter and a 3 yr old son (4 come May) and his play sounds similar to your daughters. He has a very vivid imagination and sometimes hubby and I think it borders on OCD cause he likes to line his cars up side by side perfectly straight and other little quirky things. But we don't do anything to stop him. We could be out for a walk and he'll pick up a rock and have to bring it home. To him, it has feelings and a personality! He builds me houses and what not out of his blocks or trios. Combines his geo tracks with his thomas the engine stuff and they have a party.......all part of that imagination. Just let her free play and have fun. Most important you are guiding her to clean up afterwards but letting her start over again the next day. Don't try to understand her 'castle', maybe haver her explain to you what the shoes do for it. A door? A bed for the princess maybe?

As far as not sharing toys with her little brother, normal as well. My daughter has certain things her brother can't play with, he has things she can't play with and he has things the two little ones (2 months and 8 months) that I babysit can't play with. Let her have her special things and don't force her to share them with him or her friends. It's ok to have a few toys that they want to keep all to themselves. And with having a little brother, it keeps her from feeling invaded. And she already has to share you and your hubby with him right?

Try to let go of the adult mind, get down on the floor and try to think like a 3yr old!! It's fun too!!

Good luck
S.

You and she have different personalities... and different ideas about play.
Which is fine, but recognize that.
Let her develop...

She is normal.
She is age appropriate.
Both my kids do that too... still.
My kids are creative and outside the box... and they have learned how to organize and help around the house. NO, my house is not a neat freak home nor perfect... but we keep it at least neat as we can.

Next, no child, HAS TO share everything with their siblings. EACH child, should be able to keep some things just special for them. And other things can be shared. Children have to learn... that they CAN have special things that is special in their minds.. and not have to relegate everything to a generic sharing mode. THAT is not fair.
She is older... so naturally she "thinks" the play room stuff is hers. But, if you give her a chance, you will see that she understands very keenly... and will share and loves her baby brother.

(Adding this): And the thing is: for the past 3 years, the play-room & everything WAS only hers. So, in light of that, and her age... there is nothing "wrong" if she "feels like she wants that stuff to be hers...." The baby has only been around for 9 months... and in light of that... your daughter is still adjusting to everything.
Another way to look at it is: ever know a college kid/friend... who goes away to college. Meanwhile his/her parents completely change their bedroom into a study or a spare guest bedroom or an exercise room? THEN when they go back home on vacation, "their" room is NO longer "their" room... but they still "feel" like it is there room... and they resent the changes made to it... and the fact that they have to share it and have NO input into it all? - well, that is the way a mere child can feel too.... and adults. It is "theirs" and those are the feelings she has.... its okay. It is her age and she is being really great about it... if that is the only problem she has, that is not understood...

You don't have to "interpret" her behavior... she is being a 3 year old. She is totally normal and sounds like a real joy.

My friend, has 2 kids. We go to their house, and you can't even tell she has kids. Her home is totally "adult" like and not a bit of kid things around anywhere. Lo and behold.... she has 2 kids! BUT, if the kids want to play... they have to (1) ask permission first (2) tell their Mom WHICH toy they want, from the closet & only the Mom can get it for them. They are not allowed to open the closet/get the toy themselves (3) ONLY 1 toy at a time, and (4) once they finish playing with said toy, they HAVE to put it back into the closet, close the closet door... and that's it. Her kids, are like robots. Total lack of free impulses or creativity. They only go by rehearsed sort of routines. Its really kind of sad. Not real child like, nor a child friendly home. But that is her style.
(not saying this is you, but just an example).

ALL kids make piles of stuff they are playing with. It is NOT "hoarding." Be careful not to label her that way... or displace it onto her.
She is only 3. They do things like that.

For me and my 2 kids... I have a lot of cool pretty baskets around the house... that way, it makes it easy for my kids, to "help" clean up... and they can just dump everything in the baskets when they are done. Fine. If things gets left around, that's fine.
The MAIN thing... is that the child "try's their best."

Anyway, your daughter is normal.

All the best,
Susan

.

Sounds like your daughter is being a 3 year old. My son has several piles and each pile has a different purpose; castle, mountain, dragon, etc. I wouldn't worry about it right now. If all mothers worried about this problem there would be a lot more insane mothers.

Honestly I do not see the problem? You say she willing cleans up when you request it, and that she shares well with her sibling...she sounds very creative and imaginative. All chilfdren are different. As long as she is not being defiant I say let it go...my son is nearing 3 and he has always had a lot of sensory issues, he likes to dump toys out of the tote and climb in and have the toys on top of him, especially stuffed animals, but he always helps clean up. Some children have anxiety at a very young age, if something as simple as a few of her belongings calms her, or makes her happy I say let it be, there is always a good chance she will out grow it. If you forbid this you may actually make something that is a relatively non issue into something worse. My children have always prefered to play in the livingroom close to me rather than in their own rooms. I hope this helps some and you don't view my opinion as attacking you, it is just I have spent a lot of time with young children and they don't have to have reasons for things = ) Sometimes they are just quirky and the sooner we can just accept them and not try to lable them and make them into mini-me's the better off everyone will be. She sounds like a darling little girl, I wish my soon to be 3 son would share= )
B.

This is actually normal for a toddler. My daughter likes to pile her stuff in the frontroom or on my bed. She helps clean it up and the next day the same thing. My older kids were like this as well.

hey me and betsy c have the same kid mine dumps all the toys out of the toybox gets in and plays with some toys. clean it up and 5 min later he does it again unless hes asleep :)

It is creative play, she is normal. My daughter did the same thing. She will grow out of it.

I don't think it is hoarding - not at this age. I think she is expressing her creativity - making things - castles or whatever. I have twins - my son has been doing this since before he turned 3. He will take things and hang them on the cabinet knobs and make a "horse" one day, then on another day it is a "vacuum cleaner" or a "house". And once he builds these things, he never wants to dismantle them right away - he wants to admire them. Usually I make the kids put everything away at bedtime. I think your daughter is just exploring how she can make things, build things, and learning how to have imaginary play. It sounds very normal for her age.

Oh my gosh, my 3 year old does the same thing. He loves to pile all his toys up in the middle of the room. He will even "re-decorate" the living room by moving everything (toys, books, shoes, whatever he can find) from one side of the room to the other....Now he has his little brother doing it, too! I just see it as being extremely creative and playful. He has a very analytical personality, so I don't think anything of it!!

It is normal. My son has been doing the same thing all of his life (he's 9) - it does drive me nuts. He says the same thing, that he doesn't want to put it up b/c he is still playing with it. He does this in the living room and his room. As he has gotten older, it is more in his room than the LR. His toy of choice is Legos - he's always building a town. Before Legos it was random stuff. I still always have a pile of random toys on the coffee table to be put away at the end of the day. After I get him to clean his room, it isn't 5 minutes before it is messy again and a new town is being built.

Hi N.,

Play with her and join in her play. She is just having fun and using her imagination/ creativity.

Here is what you can do- Take out some flat sheets, clothes pins and build tents with her, sit under and enjoy a picnic/tea party.

Find large empty card boxes and cut out doors/ windows, make a castle for her and let her make a cape/ costume for dressing up.

Give her a flash light to pretend she is an explorer. Invite a friend over for a play date so they can enjoy her creation together.

Please don't see too much into her behavior, she probably wants to be in the living room to be around you, or simply wants more space. Ease up and have FUN with her. Enjoy the wonders of her imagination.

PS: Please read up on Ages and Stages of development of children.

Updated

Hi N.,

Play with her and join in her play. She is just having fun and using her imagination/ creativity.

Here is what you can do- Take out some flat sheets, clothes pins and build tents with her, sit under and enjoy a picnic/tea party.

Find large empty card boxes and cut out doors/ windows, make a castle for her and let her make a cape/ costume for dressing up.

Give her a flash light to pretend she is an explorer. Invite a friend over for a play date so they can enjoy her creation together.

Please don't see too much into her behavior, she probably wants to be in the living room to be around you, or simply wants more space. Ease up and have FUN with her. Enjoy the wonders of her imagination.

PS: Please read up on Ages and Stages of development of children.

I don't think she's hording. She's playing. Like with blocks, she just uses her stuff. "Let's see how high I can make this tower". My boys are 4 and 6 and they use to do something similar. When I told them to clean up, they would each get a box or bucket and fill it full of stuff and pretend they were garbage trucks. Only the "garbage trucks" never dumped their loads out in the toy box. Now their into putting a bunch of stuff inside a box and pretending they're delivery men with a package.

I don't think it's hording.

It's fort or nest building. Perfectly normal and lots of fun!. My son has created fantastic forts from pillows, blankets, couch cushions, cardboard boxes, etc. Grandma got him some Quadro to build with and he's been quite the engineer.
Just my opinion but I think the brighter the kid, the more creative the forts.
http://www.blocksand3dpuzzles.com/adventureplaysets
How you should handle it? Plan picnics in the fort! Or make some popcorn and watch a movie. A little battery lantern or flashlight lets you read stories in it (if it's covered over with blankets).
And it's not just inside the house this happens. Fall means leaf forts. Winter means snow forts (if you get snow where you live).
And if you have trees and a grown up who's inclined to help, you might even end up with a tree fort when your child is a bit older.

My 3 yr. old understand that toys that come visit anywhere but their bedroom go into time out. The toys have a special place and they stay there the rest of the day. When I see him bringing something down the hallway I say, is that toy coming to time out or going back in the bedroom and he'll turn around and go back to his room.

My 3 1/2 yr old son has been exhibiting the same kind of behaviour for a while too. He takes things from all over the house and makes a "pile" wherever he chooses on any particular day. He does not really play with his toys in the 'usual' way; he places them in very organised piles, usually on right angles and almost always has things connected to eachother with whatever he can get his hands on eg. an extension cord or a dog leash. It is driving me batty because it started off being kind of cute but now it'a a massive problem for him when I make him clean it up. He grows very attached to his piles. He gives them names like 'my collection' or 'my music' or 'my house'. We have just recently realised he has mild aspergers because he has a few other little quirks, so I think it's related to that.