Help with a Teacher Who Is Unwilling to Communicate with Me

I am having similar problems right now with my 5 year old son regarding behavior issues. She over reacts to everything and that is why she is having problems with him, but no one, not the counselor, the school phychologist, the principle, the teacher, or any of the special needs teachers want to listen to me. I started a notebook to come back and forth between the teacher and me and she still hasn't really given me the responce that I want. I wish you the best of luck and I hope meeting with the pricipal will help you out!!

L.,

No, you are not out of line. A personal meeting is better because certain things can not be properly addressed in a note, short of writing a book. Six weeks is too long to let her flounder. There could be any number of problems, from poor teaching all the way up to bullying. But the longer they stay unadressed, the worse it will be. It's a snowball effect, and her self esteem is at risk. She could start feeling like the biggest dummy in the world, when it's not true. She needs help, and it's the school's responsibilty to provide it. I wish you the best!

L. Cusick

I think the teacher has had enough chances and should meet with you ASAP. Sending you a book to read is not going to solve the problem. If she does not meet with you soon just tell her you will speak to the principal to get things moving along. I have a daughter too who struggles in math (age 8) but her teachers and principal have been wonderful. We keep in close contact via e-mail and by phone. Good luck!

Before having my son, I was a full-time teacher. No, it is not out of line to get the principal involved in this. And please, don't wait six weeks until parent/teacher conferences. If your daughter is failing, waiting is the worst thing. I'm not quite sure why the teacher is hesitant about setting up a meeting, but don't let her dissuade you from insisting on getting together. It is helpful that she and the special ed. teacher brainstormed some ideas, but it's not enough. Make sure when you go into the meeting you have ideas, questions, concerns written down. Write down your own ideas on how to help your daughter. If your daughter has an IEP is she getting the services she's supposed to with her tests? (Extra time, separate location, etc?) The main thing to remember is to stay calm, insist on meeting with the teachers, work with the teachers, and get your daughter the help she needs. Good luck.

i think you have every right as a parent to question what is going on with your childs education. i would skip the next note and go directly to the principal. that is what they are there for. if you are not satisfied with any results, then keep going, all the way up. nothing is more important than a childs education,

Wow I am suprised when I hear your story about the teacher's unwillingness to communicate. I would go to the principal and if that doesn't get you anywhere I would go to the superintendent. You are your child's best and sometimes only advocate whether it be in school, health care, and life. I am sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, my kids are younger so I do not have a similar experience to share...but keep going higher up in the chain until you have the results you want. Good luck

Do what you said you're going to do with sending a note back to the teacher and then schedule a meeting with the principal. You've tried repeatedly to open communication with this teacher and she hasn't been able to meet your needs, so you need to take it to the next level-the principal. As teachers (I'm a high school teacher) we need to have open and transparent communication with our parents- all of that works to the benefit of the student, which is the ultimate goal. My newphew had a teacher like this last year and it was TERRIBLE- she was a total b*tch and essentially, my nephew lost a whole year of education as a result. My sister and I met with the principal and it got a little better, but his year last year was terrible anyway. His teacher just couldn't figure out how to teach kids who didn't know how to teach themselves. Unfortunately, there are bad teachers mixed in with the good ones.......they really give teachers a bad name. Be persistent with the teachers and the principal- even if you feel like you're in the school all the time. Our kids are worth as much as we can possibly give them- teaching is hard, but it's our job and we need to do it as best as we can for every kid because it's just too important to do any less.
Good luck!

No, I don't think your out of line. Currently my son's teachers haven't been contacting us. Except for his spanish teacher and that was only because I contacted her first. We just found out our son is failing other subjects because he hasn't been handing in his homework. Yes, I agree it's very frustrating.

This is craziness! Back and forth no way. I feel for you my sister-in-law went through the samething with her daughter and like her I would go straight to the pricipal. Sometimes you have to step on toes. This is your daughter and her education! Go straight to the top!

I don't think that you are out of line at all. I agree with you, if nothing is done this time, I would definitely get the principal involved. It's not fair to you or your daughter.

This teacher seems not to be very good at her job. I think you should do the same thing I suggested to my e-husband and his wife with their simular teacher meeting problem. Go to the school, wait till the busy teacher is done with school, and meet here there. It is much harder for her to reject your questions face to face, rather than in a letter. It just seems teachers these days do not care as much for our children as back in the day.

HI~ I have a suggestion- Write your concerns down in an email (most teachers have their address on the school website) and also CC your message to princible, regualr teacher, and all those teachers that matter. Being that you expressed your concerns and wish for a meeting they should have not choice but meet with you expecially if you request all those people be present because you feel the school is failing your child personally and you want help in making things work for her/ or him.

That would be my idea- and yes keep in mind they get PAID to teach your daughter its like the going to a store- the CUSTOMER is always right well you want them to do what they are paid for...

D.

I agree with all the other women. I have also been a teacher in another life (before children). I know that I would be sooo thrilled if half my parents took the initiative that you are. Now that the beginning of school is over, she should have the time....or at least MAKE the time....to see you to discuss your child's difficulties. I know I would go out of my way to meet with any parent who actually wanted to be involved with their child's schooling. You are not out of line going to the principal but, as others said, I would wait a couple of days just to give her a chance to respond to you.

If she has an IEP and the modifications for testing are not included, maybe that is something that needs to be included. Even if there is no IEP, there are some cases where testing mods can still be given - even if she is tested and does not meet qualifications for an IEP. If you have any questions, I am a special education teacher and would be more than willing to further discuss the special education process if you would like. Good luck!

I think you should write another letter and if that gets you no where than you should meet with the principle. The teacher as far as I understand it is supposed to be there to talk to to better help your child. I have never heard of this. The least she could have given you is a phone call. As far as I am concerned this is part of her job. You are only doing what you need to do to help your child. Keep going until you get the answers or solution you need. Good luck!

You’re on the right path. I would give the teacher at least 2-3 days to respond to your second request; if there is no meeting set up by the end of that timeframe I would absolutely call the principal, YOU ARE IN NO WAY OUT OF LINE. If you don't take the time and concern for your child's performance in school no one will. You have the right idea. Good Luck.

I am a mom and a former teacher - it is definitely not responsible or professional for this teacher not to respond to you. I think that since you've made efforts to contact the teacher, the next best step is to meet with the principal. One other option would be to arrange to pick up your daughter one day from school and go directly to the teacher, saying "I've tried to get in touch with you several times. I'm worried about my daugter. We need to meet as soon as possible."

I know what you're going through. My mother went through the same thing with me. I slipped through the cracks because they didn't diagnose me until after I started college. I would never want to see another child go through what I did. If her teachers won't listen go over their heads to the principal then.

Has your child been tested and identified with a learning disability and does she have an IEP (Individual Education Plan)? If the answer is yes to both questions, review her evaluation report (the testing) to see exactly what services she qualifies for and then read the IEP to see what her goals are paying attention to the SDI (specially designed instruction - the strategies & methods of instruction).

The regular ed teacher would be responsible for following the methods & strategies. If the IEP says that she can take tests with her special ed teacher or that the test can be read to her or that she can give her answers orally than the teacher MUST follow what is written in the IEP. It is a legal document.

If you read the evaluation report and the IEP (if they exist) and you don't understand them, meet with the special ed teacher (who would have written the IEP - the school psychologist probably did the testing) OR the principal - they would both be able to explain them to you. If you understand those two things, it will be easier for you to decide if the IEP is adequate and if you agree with it.

It is good that the regular ed teacher is communicating with the special ed teacher, but that may not be enough. Yes, there may be some things that you can do at home that you should try, but I would also want to know more about her test situations at school - is she allowed extra time, if reading comp is an issue & it is NOT a reading test (like math or social studies or something), is someone available to read the test TO her so she understands the questions before answering them, if writing is an issue can she give her answer orally to someone who will help her put them in writing. Depending on her disability, those could be reasonable accommodations for tests.

In addition, though, there may be some things that may help her (or help you help her) study at home. Maybe the teachers are giving those accommodations, but she is still having difficulty recalling information (even though she studied). That may be where their suggestions fall in to play, HOWEVER...

The teachers need to communicate with you & be available to answer your questions when you have them. They are "in the business" so they know things & take some knowledge for granted that those "outside" of the education world just don't know. The best situation would be to have someone who is really good at putting it all into plain English for you - not throwing out education-speak or acronyms - that should be the special ed teacher or the principal. Sometimes regular ed teachers don't even understand it all (though they should - they just aren't absorbed in it all day long every day like the special ed teachers).

I know that is a lot to absorb - you can certainly e-mail me if you have any questions.

I agree with everything here. Sarah mentioned an "IEP" - I won't assume you already have one (?) since you didn't mention one. It's an Individualized Education Plan. A child who may have had Early Intervention (special teaching and / or therapy) as a tot would around age 3 be evaluated again by an independent agency in order for the school district AND YOU to decide on a plan for your daughter's education. This may include a special ed teacher, and occupational, physical, or speech therapists, depending on the needs of the child. My daughter is in EI and transitions to the school district at the end of this year. She is almost 3.

IF you don't have this system in place and an IEP, perhaps it is about time due process was executed and they get going on a plan! I would contact the principal, if no help I'd go to the Superintendent of Schools for your district and / or the Board. SOMEONE has to do something! And 6 weeks would be okay if it was being spent getting her the eval, IEP and a special ed teacher for her math and reading. Otherwise, it's too long to wait for a proper response!

Is there any chance your daughter is dyslexic (or do you already know the type of disability? Dyslexia can affect both math and reading. I live with an adult dyslexic who is recovering.

If she already has an IEP and this special ed teacher you mention is already working with her, then I apologize for my assumptions. I also would want to know what's wrong with THEM. IF you already have an IEP I would say they're not doing their job at all. Just my opinion...

You are right to want to deal with the problems now. There is no reason that teacher can't meet with you. If she still refuses after you contact her one last time you should definately speak with the principal about it. If the teacher still refuses to deal with you-you can always have your daughter moves to another class. They have to provide a good education for her no matter what her needs.

hi,

since you called 2x and left messages and then sent a note and still did not get a meeting, i would not attempt to contact the teacher again but go to the principal. you have made 3 attempts to address your concerns with your daughter and obviuosly your daughters and your needs are not being met.
this is by no means being "out of line". you first went to the teacher and she didn't help you and your daughters welfare is most important so i think it is best to go to the principal and express your concerns.

just some thoughts....
L. :)

You are right! Act as quickly as you can, my daughter was in title 1 math and reading untill the 4th grade, I made sure I was on top of every assignment and if I thought there was a problem, well we made sure to nip it in the bud.I am so surprised that a teacher would even suggest waiting!

I don't think your out of line at all. Everyone is so quick to say that the parents are not doing their part, but here you are struggling to get a meeting with your childs teacher, dosn't make sense to me. Besides your daughter isn't goiong to get anywhere if her teacher isn't in line with you. Though her suggestions are nice, the book I took as a brush off though, you are entitled to a meeting with her any time you like. I'd be headed straight for the priciple if this letter didn't work either. Is your daughter being singled out at school by classmates and/or the teacher? It might also be a contributing factor.

I think you are right to be frustrated with this teacher! Most teachers would be thankful that a parent is taking an active interest in helping their child. If your child is struggling this much, I definitely think a meeting is in order, so if you need to call in the principal, then do it.

Hugs!

I have to echo the other ladies. I would get the principal involved. YOu are not satisfied and want your daughter to succeed. I am shocked at the lack of desire to speak with you in person. I too was a teacher and frankly it makes me disgusted what I read. Write the note that you want a meeting and involve the principal and the counselor. ALL of you should work together to meet the goals on your daughters IEP.
YOu are the parent. Ask alos for the documentation on exactly how they are doing the modifications for your daughter. Good luck.

I work in an elementary school with Learing Disabled children, what I would say is to call and talk to the guidance councelor, if she has an IEP if not talk to them and have her tested. If she has an IEP the learning support teacher should be doing her testing and the tests should be modified for her. They do not have to take the same test as regular ed. students. Her tests should be multiple choice. If you can not get the teacher to respond request a meeting with the pirincipla, guidance, learning support and regular ed. YOu need to let them know what is going on here. An IEP is a legal bonding paper if they are not following it you can speak with lawyers. I know someone who has family in Philly and thier IEP meeting actually have lawyers involved with them. Don't hesitate to push the issue and don't wait like the reg ed teacher said. That is too long to wait I would be on the phone on MOnday requesting a meeting with everyone involved with her education. If you need more info I can see what else I can do, just let me know.

Hi L.,
I dont have kids who are in school yet however i do have nieces and nephews. I would skip over the teachers all together and go to the guidence counsler. they would be able to set up meetings for you with her teachers. Also from my experience they are also ways more helpfull. hope fully this can help you. Good Luck.
C.