Help with 3 Year Olds Tantrums and Moodiness

I don't have any real advice, what you're doing seems to be what we're doing. But I just wanted to say that I have a group of friends and we all have 3 year old girls. There are 9 of us and we are ALL experiencing what you are with your daughter. We all agree that whoever said "terrible 2's" was mistaken, it's the 3's. We all deal with it in our own ways. You just have to find what works, though I find that we have to change it up a bit every now and then. It sure is tiring though, especially with an infant at home too. (My son just turned 4 months.) I have heard lots of good things about that "Love and Logic" book that was mentioned. I also really like "The Happiest Toddler on the Block".

You're not alone, it's just tough!

I have a temper tantrum 4 year old boy and I feel for you. However, I have a few questions. Does she talk readily? Does she have communication problems? THe reason I ask is that my son is delayed and when he can't get the words to wrok right for him he gets frustrated and screams. Now there are ponts in which he doesn't get his way but that's normal. We actually started him with occu[pational, developmental, and speech therapists when he was 2-1/2. It worked so much better. Once he could communicate it was great. Also, she may be dealing with emotions she doesn't know how to express. We are currently working on that. For instance, I ask him "Are you angry?" then "What are you angry about?", that kind of thing. Step back from the situation when it is happening and see if it's a communication problem. To get outside help is a hassle but worth it and usually paid for by the state. I also have had him in an integrated preschool (delayed and non-delayed) since he was 3. They have specialists in there all the time. You may want to look into something like that.

I'm kinda of in the same boat, but my boys are younger. My oldest son is 2 and 8 months, and my little guy is 4 and a half months. My husband and I took a parenting toolbox class when we learned that we were pregnant with #2. My oldest had been doing the same thing. Very nicely, I explained to him that the doctor said that if he is whinning, throwing fits, etc. . . then he must be VERY tired and need more sleep. He then goes to his room for a "nap" for no less than 15 minutes. When he is able to come out, he is wonderful. I wish you luck. The leader of the class just published her book. You can find it on the www.heightschurch.com webpage.

We have the same problem with our granddaughter.She is 4.5 and lives with us 99% of the time. I found a book called Raising your spirited child workbook . Great title , huh!!! They gave us some great suggestions. We still struggle , but things will get better. My husband and I raised 9 kids between us and she has been our biggest challenge . Hang in there , this doesn't last forever...it just comes back when she hits her teens with a bigger vocabulary!!!

We're in a similar boat, though our 3 year old doesn't really hit. He just runs away when he doesn't want to do something. Dinner time has become a real treat.

unfortunately, I think it's just a phase that has to play itself out to a certain extent.

We have found that taking important things away (his favorite blanket, toys, TV shows) has had some level of effect.

I'd even threaten to take away your special one-on-one time as a punishment (even though it's likely harder on you than her).

Good luck getting through it. We've found that being consistent has had good results. We've also asked him what he needs to try to figure out what the root cause of the acting out really is. We don't always give in, but we at least ask.

Hi Le Ann,
I have had great success iwth an approach called Love and Logic with my 3.5 year old girl...with every similar behavior as above (before). They have books, cd's and a website...jim and charles Fay...check it out. Good luck! and there is light at the end of the tunnel!
L.

I don't really have advice, just wanted to say YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Your daughter is behaving exactly like a 3 year old! I have 4 kids and I truely think that 3 is the hardest age. I like the Love & Logic approach the best, although it takes patience, and I also try to use a ton of positive reinforcement...sticker charts are awesome at this age!!! Good luck and God Bless fellow momma :)

Hi Le Ann,

I hear your frustration. I have discovered Love and Logic and am now facilitating the classes in Albuquerque/Rio Rancho. They are live savers. You can check their website at www.loveandlogic.com. You don't want her to learn that she can treat you however she wants to--that's not the way she'll grow up respectful, responsible and fun to be around. The local libraries also have a copy of the book "Parenting With Love and Logic"

Best of luck,
E.

Hi i just wanted to say i have a 6 yr old girl who turned this way at 3 and has only gotten worse! She hurts herself by pulling out handfulls of hair, recently she baged her face on the ground and i think she nearly broker her nose. It was all purple. She talks back and get attitude with us. I have tried everything and even spoken to her pediatrician. Who had a talk with her. Ha that didnt change a thing. So i don't know im gonna deffinately check into that book. Thanks